Relay for Life (14 page)

Of course his lovers would choose a Corpse Rom movie to watch. As Matthew had promised, the theater wasn’t too crowded, so he felt only momentary unease when they’d been in the lobby’s line for popcorn, but a well-placed touch by the two of them had settled him. They took his fear like nothing ever had.

He could still see the worry in Matthew’s eyes as he glanced at his phone a million times between the lobby and the theater. He was clearly still thinking about his father, but between himself and Marcel, he thought they were doing an okay job at distracting him.

He shoved a handful of popcorn in his mouth as they took their seats, waiting for the movie to start. They were sitting at the back of the theater. The reason of which was easy to discern. Two big field agents fresh from a mission didn’t want their backs exposed.
Well, neither do I, but I’m just paranoid.

“What’s your favorite food?” he asked Matthew as more people filed into the theater. He needed conversation to distract himself until the movie started. He knew Marcel’s, beer and deep-dish pizza.

“Sushi. Brook and I used to sneak out of Deadzone tower and go to the sushi restaurant across the street for lunch.” He took a sip of his Coke. “Come to think of it, there was always another kid tagging after us. It must’ve been Daniel. I don’t remember for sure. I was almost done with primary school by the time Brook and I started hanging out.”

“Oh? I didn’t think you were that much older than him.” The conversation was helping, a lot. Just hearing his lover talking helped. “How old are you?”

“Twenty-six. My dad had me when he was eighteen. I’ll be twenty-seven next month,” Matthew said, smiling. “How old are you and Marcel?”

“I’m twenty-one.”
Marcel stole a bit of popcorn. “I’m twenty-four.”
“Wow. So I’m the oldest. Weird.” Matthew laughed. “Here I

thought we were all the same age.”
“Does it bother you?” Andrew asked, curious.
Matthew shrugged. “Not really. I was surprised.”
“Do you want me to come over to sector thirteen and help you

pack up your things?” Marcel asked, directing his question at Matthew. Andrew knew he should volunteer to come, but he had a better idea.

“That’s a great idea,” Andrew said. “While you guys are packing up your things and shipping them over, I can get the rest of the house ready while you two do. You can stay overnight in each sector to get things taken care of, and by the time you get back, I’ll have the two spare rooms fixed up.” He would have to call Terrence, his contractor, to come over and take measurements for the new space. He wanted the garden expanded, the bathroom expanded, and another bedroom added as well as getting a bigger living space and maybe a game room. He was going to have a lot of room to play with. The realtor would no doubt be thrilled at his new addition.
One thing at a time, Andrew
. He needed to clear out the guests rooms and get them ready for his lover’s things first.

“Why would you need to fix up the spare rooms?” Matthew asked, confusion written all over his face along with a healthy dose of hurt.

He reached over and took his hand. “Because even if you sleep with me in my bed, I want us all to have our own space, our own haven. I don’t want you guys to move in with me as much as I want us all to live together. Does that make sense?”

He’s trying to make his house our house.”
“Ah,” Matthew said. “I understand now.” He smiled. “Thanks,
love.”
The lights dimmed overhead, signaling the beginning of the
advertisements. He lowered his voice. “You’re welcome.” He turned
his attention to the screen as the first one came on. “This is nice,” he
said, “being here with you two.”
“Likewise, cutie pie,” Matthew said, popping a handful of
buttered popcorn in his mouth. “Now let’s watch the zombies turn
back into people.”
He chuckled a bit at that. It would be nice to see a happily ever
after for the infected for once.
After the movie ended, they walked to a small coffee-and-sweet
shop that was open twenty-four hours. Most shops in sector ten were
twenty-four hours in this side of town. He almost panicked when the
throng of people had pushed into him as they walked out of the
theater, but since he was cushioned between them and both distracted
him with frankly teasing touches, he made it out without going into a
meltdown. It was much easier to face things with them by his side. “I’ll have a vanilla latte,” he said when it was his turn to order. He
pushed his hair off his forehead. It was getting very long. He looked
like one of the skater kids he saw at the park on his way to the airport.
The vendor nodded and turned his back to make his drink. “I need a
haircut.”
“I kind of like it long,” Marcel said, bumping his hips. “You look
cute.”
Andrew wrinkled his nose. “I don’t want to be cute. I’m a guy.
Guys aren’t cute.”
“
You
are,” Matthew teased, leaning down to nibble his earlobe.
Andrew huffed, but he wasn’t really upset about it. How could he be?
When it came to being loved and respected, his lovers did both in
spades.
They took their coffees over to a small table by the window with a
good view of the door. Andrew licked the foam off the top of his
drink and smiled at the sweet taste. He liked this shop. They always
had the best coffee.
“Hey, guys?” Marcel asked. He sounded nervous.
Matthew reached out and took his hand. “What is it?” He liked
how protective he was of Marcel. His field agent didn’t let Andrew protect him in any way but he let Matthew. It was nice that Mar let
one of them do it.
“I know it’s kind of the first week we’re dating and it’s officially
our second date all, but I love you. I love both of you. I know it’s too
soon, but I wanted you both to know.”
Andrew melted a little at the admission. He was glad he wasn’t
the only one who felt like this was right. “I love you, too, Mar. I really
do.” He turned his eyes on Matthew, who was considering the both of
them. “And I love you, Matthew. Too soon or not.”
“Um, thank you,” Matthew said, clearly unsure of himself. “I care
about the both of you. But I don’t know if I’m to the love part yet.”
He seemed apologetic.
Marcel shook his head. “You don’t have to say it yet, and you
don’t have to believe it yet. It’s all right. I just wanted to let the both
of you know.” Andrew completely agreed.
“I know. I just, it’s so big,” Matthew said, looking out the window
as if he was separating himself from the conversation by not having as
much eye contact. “Everything feels so big. You guys have known
one another a long time. It’s hard to believe I fit into this.” “We have all been together the same amount of time,” Andrew
reminded. “We weren’t together before we met you. You brought us
all together, Matthew. So what if it’s been a week? We walked
through fire together and came out the other side.”
“I hope it lasts,” Matthew said, giving them both a sheepish smile. “It will,” Marcel said. “You’ll see.”

Matthew stared at the vid screen in front of him with frustrated eyes. He was holed up in his room while Andrew trained on the track upstairs and Marcel went to the practice range as required by Deadzone employment standards. He’d been sending off résumés all morning but hadn’t gotten any responses yet. He knew he wasn’t qualified for anything that didn’t involve killing infected, but he had hoped. He threw the vid screen across his desk and watched it clatter to the floor off the other side.

“Fuck my life,” he growled. Moving and his part of the rent deposit had eaten up most of his savings since he’d paid his other apartment in advance and couldn’t get a refund on the months he’d paid. He needed a job badly. He felt completely useless as his lovers continued to work their regular jobs and bring in money while he continued to be some kind of bum staying at Andrew’s swanky apartment and eating his food, going on dates that his lovers alternated paying for. Not that they’d made him feel that way, just the opposite. They told him not to worry about it and had graciously done whatever they could to make him feel completely comfortable. Somehow, that was infinitely worse.

His recruiter had called twice already, trying to convince him to come back and be a SCAB. The military was gearing up for the summer missions, and they needed some old hands to lead the younger recruits. He had put him off thus far. He was trying to start a new civilian life. Besides, he’d promised his dad he’d wait at least until he got back.

Thoughts of his father sent him into another spiral of depression. They’d had no word one way or another about what had happened to Captain Jack Gibson. He put his head in his hands and squeezed his temples as tears threatened to fall. He wouldn’t cry until he knew. He wouldn’t. He breathed deep as he tried to stave off the fear and loneliness the thought of losing his father gave him.

Warm hands kneaded his back and neck, startling him out of his inner torment. The smell of sweat and burnt amber assaulted his nostrils. It was Andrew. The smell alone said so. “Still no word?”

“You know there hasn’t been.” He swallowed, sighed. “I can’t seem to find a job, either. I just feel so fucking useless. Maybe I should just re-up.”

“With SCAB?” Andrew asked.
“Yes.”
Andrew squeezed his neck, and Matthew turned around to look at

him. He was in his jogging clothes and sweaty but still just as beautiful as when they’d first met. His hair continued to grow and hadn’t been touched by shears at both Marcel’s and his insistence. “I don’t want you to, but I’ll support you either way. I told you before, it’s not necessary for you to have a job right this second. It’s not necessary at all, but I know you don’t want to be a kept man.” He winked like he was joking, but Matthew didn’t find it very funny. The idea was frankly horrifying.

“I have to have a job, Andrew,” he said. They’d grown so close in the weeks since they’d been back from the mission from hell it was hard to imagine going months without seeing either one of them again. They did everything as one, even seeing the Deadzone company therapist together once a week until the mandatory six sessions were up. It seemed more economical to do them together, and Matthew had actually enjoyed getting to know them through the therapy sessions.

“I know you feel that way,” Andrew soothed. “And I’m sure something will come up.” It was getting to the point that Andrew and Marcel anticipated him better than even he did. They knew how to soothe him.

“I hope so. My recruiter called again.”
Andrew frowned. “I wish he’d give you your space.”
Matthew shrugged. “We’ve known one another a long time. I

Andrew leaned his hip on the desk beside him. “So what happened? You’ve been pretty tight-lipped about it.”
Matthew sighed. It was time. “My last mission was bad. Really bad. We were called onto this estate that had been turned into a private boarding school in a safe sector. It was reasonably isolated, and we’d been told that we had to eliminate the infected and get out the kids.” He swallowed hard, the memories creeping up to haunt him. He’d had a few nightmares since he’d been staying here, but sandwiched between the two of them, most of the fear had disappeared with a few soothing murmurs and a well-placed kiss or two. It was the fastest he’d been able to go back to sleep since it happened. “The only reason we were called in to begin with was because of the kids’ parents. They were rich and wanted the best SCAB could provide. I wasn’t prepared for what we walked into.”
Andrew wrapped his arms around his shoulders in comfort. It gave him the strength to keep talking.
“There were fifteen hundred students there from primary, secondary, and every grade in between. By the time we got into the heart of the school, we realized how bad it was. Out of all of them, there were only five who weren’t infected. Worse, we had to take out all of the others as per our orders.” He swallowed hard, starting to tremble as the images came in flash frame through his cerebrum. “They were just kids, so many kids. The little ones shattered something inside me. The bigger packs don’t have a lot of kids for some reason. Having to do that just broke something.”
“It’s okay to cry about it,” Andrew whispered. “You have to mourn them.” The understanding in his voice seemed to break the dam he’d been holding back since he’d gotten back. He buried his face in Andrew’s sweaty neck and sobbed, letting go of all the emotions he’d held in careful check.
The whole time he cried, Andrew petted his back and murmured soothing phrases over and over. He cried until he had nothing left to give and no more left to feel. He was just exhausted.
“Better?” he asked.
Matthew nodded, feeling raw. “Yeah,” he said in a hoarse voice. “Thank you.” He oddly felt better for it. “I needed that.”
“I figured. You’ve been holding in a lot these past few weeks.” Andrew kept petting him. “Thank you for trusting me.”
He did trust him, explicitly. “Love you,” he whispered, meaning it. There was no one else he’d rather be with. Andrew and Marcel had dropped into his life, and it had been filled with them ever since.
Andrew smiled, his whole countenance going soft. “I love you, too.” He leaned down and pressed a kiss to his neck. “So does that mean you admit that we’re doing this for the long haul? That no one is going to change their mind?”
He tilted his head back to give his lover easier access. “I suppose I will have to be. Any worries on your end?”
“That you’ll get scared?” Andrew chuckled. “At first I think I was scared like you were, that everything would fall apart when we got back here, but it didn’t.”
Matthew was surprised. “You didn’t act like that at all. You seemed to be the most sure out of the three of us.”
“Well, duh. I was dealing with two nervous studs. I had to play it cool.”
Matthew laughed.
The front door shut from outside his room. “Marcel must be home,” Andrew said, sliding off his lap. Matthew gave his butt a squeeze.
“Matthew? Andy? Where you guys at?” Marcel called.
“My room!” Matthew shouted. Their rooms were adjacent, but they were both on the lower floor. In the new plans that Andrew was having drawn up, all three rooms would be on the top. At least that was what was in the designs Terrence had brought over. His sister and architect, Adrianna, had really done a good job at including all the elements that Andrew insisted on including. The man was stubborn and fastidious, unwilling to compromise anything about the design of his living space. Matthew and Marcel were laid back about the whole thing. Matthew knew he would live in a cardboard box so long as they were together.
Marcel pushed open the door. “Hey,” he greeted. He looked a little pale. Matthew frowned, going on instant alert.
“What is it?”
“I had a run-in with some UMF at the shooting range. They were asking a lot of questions. They looked like internal regulations division.”
Everything in Matthew stilled. Internal regulations division was an independent UMF section that did internal investigations. “What did they ask? What did you say?” he demanded. His heart thundered in his chest. He had to find his dad. If IRD was looking at him, he needed to get the hell out of their way.
I don’t even know where he is. I can’t rescue him
. That helplessness didn’t make it any easier.
Marcel crossed his arms over his chest. “They were asking a lot of questions about the last mission and about your dad. What we saw, et cetera. I told them that we didn’t see anything. That it was a difficult mission but we got a helicopter pickup. I didn’t even tell them we connected with your dad prior to our leaving.”
“Well, thank God for that,” Matthew murmured. “I don’t want us to leave the apartment for a while unless it’s absolutely necessary.” “Are we being watched?” Andrew asked, frowning.
“Most likely. They’re probably doing an investigation into the incident. In fact, let’s not talk about it at all. I don’t know if they have external listening devices set up.” Adrenaline flooded his body. What if they’d heard something already? They hadn’t really talked about it, heeding Jack’s warning to the letter.
“It’s okay, Matthew,” Marcel said, reaching for him at the same time Andrew did. “He’ll be okay.”
He let them hold him for a long time, trying to calm his breathing down. “He’s all I have.” He repeated the words he’d said a million times. He remembered clearly the first time his father had said the same thing to him. He had been three years old, and Jack had just walked through the door at Jim and Jason’s home in Carriage Hills, four days late from a mission, and wrapped his arms around him. He hadn’t been old enough to understand then what he understood years later. He’d been scared he wouldn’t ever see Matthew again.
“I love you, Mattie,”
he’d said.
“You’re all I have, and you’re the best part of me.”
Marcel kissed his cheek. “Don’t worry, Matthew. He’s not all you have anymore. You have us. We’re family.”
The words took away his anxiety, his worry. “God, I love you both,” he said.
Marcel squeezed him tighter. “I love you, too.”