Release (4 page)

I feel a weird temptation to
follow him.

What the fuck just happened?

Forcing my legs to move, I make my way back to the
others. Where the hell did he appear from? It’s a public place, anyone can come
here, but I’m sure I would’ve noticed him. I’ve been people watching all
afternoon.

I sit down next to Kayla and
search the beach. There are a couple of small groups of people towards the
Golden Gate Bridge, but Dane isn’t one of them. I look behind me, in the
direction of the cliffs at the other end.

He’s there.

I tingle just at the sight
of him, which is ridiculous given Kayla’s warning. I ignore my silly reaction.

He’s with two guys; one is
the long-haired man from last night, the other one I’ve never seen before. Two
little boys are with them as well. They’re all leaving, and as they do, Dane
glances in this direction – at me. Did he see me here before I went to the car?

“Fuck my ass!” I hear Kayla
whisper in surprise.

When I look at her, she’s
watching Dane. “He just approached me in the car park.”

Her gaze switches to me.
“Did you tell him to fuck off?”  

Should I tell her he asked
me to breakfast? Technically, he didn’t actual
ask
, did he? He told me.
Maybe if I’d been wordier he would’ve requested it instead. He must have
thought I was an idiot.

“I didn’t exactly say that
to him, but I owe you an apology – I told him I’d been warned off. He knew it
was you. I’m really sorry.”

“No probs, I don’t care. I’ll
tell him to fuck off for you, if you want?”

“That’s not necessary.
Thanks, though.”

“Oh no,” Leona adds. “Did he
work his magic on you, babe?”

I didn’t even notice her
sitting on the other side of me.
“No, no way.” I can see she doesn’t
believe me. I don’t even believe me. “Can we go now?”

“We were just saying that.
You needn’t have gone for your cardie,” Leona says.

I’m still in a semi-state of
shock. That encounter could’ve been avoided – I think I’d have preferred that.

As we start to gather our
stuff, even through my haze of ‘What-the-fuck-am-I-going-to-do?’, I’m massively
excited that my best friend is seeing Xavier next Saturday. He’s coming to the
show – you call that knowing the right people at this short notice – and
they’re going out after. Result!

When we get back to our apartment, the three of us sit
on my bed. I filled them in on my conversation with Dane – if you can actually
call it that, given my inability to speak properly – on the way back from the
beach.

“Is he really so bad?’ I ask
Kayla, in the hope that just maybe he isn’t someone I should avoid.

Physically, Dane is one
hundred percent my type and more. I also like a confident man, he has that in
spades. And for all that confidence he exudes there isn’t a trace of arrogance
about him. He’s obviously unapologetically comfortable with who he is. It
really doesn’t get sexier than that, for me.

“I know you and I know all
about him. You want to go, don’t you?”

“I don’t know.”

I lay back, resting my head
on my pillow, looking up at the ceiling. I can’t believe I’m considering it,
but I can’t seem to conclude
no
and not go. I think I want to, but I
can’t even conclude that with certainty.

After my last relationship
ended, eight months ago, I didn’t want to be involved with another man ever
again. I hated them all. As the months went by, I realized I was allowing
somebody else to control my decisions about men by being that way. I’m not
looking
for a boyfriend, but I’m not opposed to meeting someone and seeing where things
go.

It goes without saying that
Dane isn’t the type of man you consider for anything more than sex, so he
shouldn’t even factor into my thoughts.

Acknowledging that isn’t
helping my indecision, either.

“Tell me more about him.
What does he do? Where does he live?”

Kayla and Leona move to lay
either side of me. The three of us fit my double bed perfectly.

“He has his own business
with a guy called Eric; a motorcycle customization shop. Their work is like
totally freakin’ awesome. The shop is on Bush Street. You know, his apartment
is pretty close also. Had you seen him around before last night?”

“No.” I’ve walked along Bush
Street a few times. There’s no way I would’ve seen Dane and not notice him, he
definitely would’ve commanded my attention.

“That’s probably why he
suggested the Purple Cafe; it’s close to his work and here. What else is there
to tell ya? He has tattoos, and I don’t mean one or two, so you need to like
tats. His friend, Adam, the guy he was with last night and his brother, Joe,
the other guy who was with them both today, are tattoo artists. Adam is married
to Dane’s sister, Saffron. Do you remember when I introduced you to her last
night? She was with Ella and an Asian girl, Su, who I also introduced you to.
They were sitting at a corner table.”

“She was the one with black
hair, cut into a jaw-length bob with the ends dyed red. Brown eyes, though?
She’s his sister?” It makes sense now that I think about it, there’s a definite
resemblance.

“Yup. It’s a small world,
huh? Saffron was so excited about meeting you last night, she watched you on
All
about the Dance
. She lives near Baker Beach with her husband and Joe.
They’re a very close group of friends, including that douchetard, Gerard.”

That explains why Dane
appeared out of nowhere like that today. I’d hoped the extra info would help
once and for all, and put me off, but if anything, it’s made things worse. He’s
obviously ambitious and hard working if he runs his own business. That’s
admirable. And tattoos? I’d love to see those. His dreadlocks are so nice, and
long enough to reach what looked like quite an impressive arse. He obviously
takes care of them. That probably means he also takes good care of himself.

This isn’t getting any
easier, and it doesn’t help that his shop is so– oh no. “Why does he have to be
so close? Knowing my luck, if I don’t show, I’ll bump into him. How awkward
would that be? I’ve seen him two days in a row without even choosing to.”

“No doubt about it, you
probably will. That’s the way the universe works,” Kayla says.

“Don’t make your decision
based on that,” level headed Leona says. “It doesn’t change what he’s about.”

Maybe she’s talking in place
of my common sense, which is obviously still sitting on Baker Beach.

“I don’t know what to do.
What if I go and show him he won’t get anywhere with me? If by any chance he’s
actually interested in getting to know me, he’ll stick it out.”

Leona shakes her head. “I
think you should take Kayla’s advice and stay away.”

“I still think you should
stay away, but you seem to want to go. Why?” Kayla asks.

I shrug, uncertain, because
I really am. “I’m not even sure I do want to go. It’s weird, I do, but I don’t.
I know I won’t take risks with him. At least if I meet him and he is only after
one thing, then I’ll know for definite. He won’t bother for long if it’s only
sex he wants. I wonder why he suggested breakfast.”

“I have no clue,” Kayla
says, “but if you’re going to do this then breakfast is a safe option. He’ll
have to work after, and you’ll have your commitments, so there’ll be no
temptation to go back to his place for coffee and sex.”

“Maybe that’s why,” Leona
says. “Maybe he is trying to keep things simple. If he was going to try
anything he wouldn’t ask you to breakfast, it would be something at night. This
might be a good sign.”

“It could be,” Kayla chips in, “but if you’re going,
keep your wits about you. You just don’t know with men like him. Don’t let him
charm you.”

****

After my discussion with Kayla and Leona I still
changed my mind about meeting Dane, several times, only to change it back
within minutes. Overall, the easiest thing would’ve been to stay in bed this
morning.

I still don’t know if I’m
doing the right thing, even now, as I approach the Purple Cafe.

But I couldn’t just let him
rock up and stand around waiting like an idiot.

As I get closer to the
violet-colored building, which sits on a corner, I spot Dane and take him in
with fresh eyes. I like the fit of his dark jeans, which are narrow but loose
enough to have the waistband sit low on his hips and the crotch area sag
slightly in a way I find sexy as hell. His unzipped black jacket shows a nicely
fitted navy sweater underneath.

Dane exceeds attractive, and
that manner of command absolutely draws you in.

Charm
is surplus to requirement – his existence alone is
more than enough.

Don’t I feel like shit? I’m
wearing a black and white Adidas tracksuit, the type of thing I often put on
over my tight-fitting studio clothes, and my hair is in a simple ponytail. The
only reason I added a touch of black mascara to my lashes is because I feel
half asleep, so deem it necessary to emphasize my eyes a bit. As for my choice
of attire, I’m hiding my body beneath the bagginess of these clothes. They’re
not scruffy or horrible, but you wouldn’t really wear this if you’re trying to
impress a guy you’ve recently met.

If Dane wants my company, it
needs to be because he likes
me
. If he is only trying to bed me, he has
another thing coming and he’ll soon lose interest. I’m expecting today to be
the one and only time we intentionally meet. At the very least, I’ll have cured
my curiosity.

A slow smile shapes his lips
as I get closer.

That simple gesture causes
my legs to quiver. For the first time in my life, I have to concentrate on
walking.

I’m in trouble.

“Good morning,” he says when
I stop in front of him.

Definitely in trouble.

“Good morning,” I reply,
making every effort to avoid sounding like a silly, horny, star-struck girl.

Who the heck takes one look
at a man and goes to pieces? I will actually have a conversation with him
today; I’ll show him I’m a competent woman, capable of stringing a sentence
together. That always pushes away pricks caught up on the idea of fucking a
dancer.

Dane leads the way and opens
the door.

I enter the Purple Cafe for
the first time. It’s violet inside as well as out, but fortunately it’s not so
overbearing that it messes with your eyes. I love that there are only a handful
of tables, a few already occupied. The checkered floor goes well with the theme
and there’s even a jukebox by the door. The music is low enough for ease of
conversation.

We sit at the back, by the
window, directly across from each other. A smiley blonde haired lady, who looks
to be in her early twenties and wears a name badge imprinted with ‘Lexi’,
approaches us. I request a black coffee.

“Is that enough for you?”
Dane asks.

“Yeah, it is.” I lower my
voice and lean forward, though what I’m about to say is hardly a secret. “This
is a bit early for me.”

He smiles and requests the
same thing. Lexi turns and walks away.

“Is that enough for you?” I
ask. He has work after. I plan on going back to bed.

“I don’t usually eat so
early.”

“Don’t you?”

He shakes his head. “I get
to the gym at seven and then have something just before nine. Eating at this
hour is alien to me.”  

“Me too,” I say, surprised
by such a simple similarity between us. I haven’t just decided he’s husband
material or anything, just because we don’t get hungry at this time of day, but
I do find this little, insignificant detail interesting. “What about your gym
session, then?”

“I’ll go after work. I like
morning workouts, though.”

“Because you’re an early
bird?” I imagine his late night activities aren’t compatible, but you never
know.

“No,” he looks mildly
amused, “I like to work out, but I also like to get it out of the way and get
on with my day.”

His lips are seriously,
seriously kissable. They’re medium-thick with no trace of hair surrounding them
and the type that beg to be kissed, licked, sucked, every flipping thing. His
whole face is seriously kissable.

“That makes sense,” I
respond. 

Lexi brings our coffees to
the table. We both thank her, and I have noted Dane’s manners so far. I like
the way he speaks to the waitress, his pleases and thank yous, the right amount
of eye contact, and he holds open the door. It all seems natural, instinctive,
rather than forced or fake. This makes me wonder about his family life– stop
all sensible thoughts, he just removed his jacket.

My gaze rapidly devours him.
In the words of Kayla, fuck my ass!

The snug fit of his cotton
sweater enhances the appearance of good posture and the firm bulk of his
shoulders and biceps. He’s a medium build with chiseled muscles, along the
lines of an Olympic swimmer. I’ve seen many amazing male bodies over the years
and I can confidently state that Dane’s is flawless. This is, of course, my
opinion based on seeing him with his clothes on.