Relentless Rhythm (Tempest #4) (4 page)

April’s slender shoulders had fallen, and her chin had dropped to her chest. Whatever she had seen had obviously upset her. I hadn’t a clue what, but before she turned away, just for a moment, I caught a glimpse of something that had seemed eerily familiar. A flicker of what I saw as I stared into her face right now.

Hidden strength coupled with desperate resignation.

Then, unlike now, I’d been the only one to see what she’d been so determined to conceal. Those qualities she seemed to prefer no one see were the very things that drew me to her. I’d been disappointed when she had taken off before I had been able to approach her. I’d wandered into the Mine some time later that evening and been surprised and pleased when I’d spotted her working behind the bar without even a trace of her earlier distress, serving and bantering with the bar’s customers jammed three rows deep in front of her.

I didn’t believe in fate or any hokey shit like that but I knew she was someone I couldn’t ignore. I felt compelled to learn her secrets. So I watched and discretely observed, anonymously admiring each new facet of her as it was revealed.

“It’s ok.” Mel spoke the words to April, but her concerned eyes were locked on mine, and her expression wasn’t hard to decipher. Bluebelle had a glowing personality, but right now she was a supernova of anger. She didn’t like seeing her confident friend looking so raw and broken, either. She brought April’s head down to her shoulder and started to stroke her hair.

I knew exactly how Mel felt. A bone deep paralysis gripped me, a potent aftereffect of adrenaline and emotion. I had felt it before when that child molesting drug dealing bastard had almost raped Lace. “I’ll get her a bottled water,” I mumbled needing something to do, sliding smoothly through the bar opening, going straight to the under counter fridge, my hand trembling as I withdrew one.

Yeah, well, that couldn’t be helped. What’s done was done. She was safe now, but this whole deal had been too damn close.

I let out a ragged breath and slammed a lid on the what ifs. The two women were both on their feet when I returned. Mel had her arm threaded around April’s slender waist, and it pleased me to see that April’s beautiful eyes were back on line registering what was going on around her.

“You ok?” I asked softly offering her the water.

“Yeah.” She took it from me, avoiding my touch and dropping her gaze. “But I wouldn’t be if you hadn’t…” She trailed off, noticeably embarrassed. “Thank you,” she said after a moment lifting her head and peering up at me through thick lashes. My heart soared as if her gratitude was priceless while the rest of me responded to her gaze as though she’d physically touched me. She never had, but I’d imagined it plenty, which was something of an anomaly with me.

A man could fall into those pools and drown. He could be inspired to capture the essence of her classic understated beauty with a pencil or pen if he were a talented artist like Sager. But I couldn’t touch her any more than I could draw her. It simply wasn’t possible. “Don’t thank me.” My response was brusquer than I intended. “Anyone would’ve reacted the same way.”

“Hardly.” Mel scrunched her face at me before she took April’s face in her hands forcing her friend to look at her. “Why didn’t you call us over when you saw him lurking there?”

“That’s just it. I didn’t see him,” she mumbled and for some strange reason her gaze tipped briefly my way. “It’s my own fault. I could’ve prevented the whole thing if I’d been paying better attention.” She removed Mel’s hands. “I just wanna go home now. Forget it ever happened.” She glanced at her watch. “Shit.” A bolt of panic struck her face. “I’ve missed my bus.” Her already pale skin turned paler than usual.

“No worries, Honey. I’ll take you in my car,” Mel offered. “Probably get you home earlier than the bus would anyway.”

I told myself I was relieved and not disappointed that Mel was taking care of her. It wouldn’t be appropriate for me to drive her home. And after what had happened I sure didn’t like the idea of her on the bus alone. Not that she would have considered letting me take her anyway. I’d seen the looks of disapproval she sent my way. Censure I’d surely earned. So I’d played the hero tonight. That certainly didn’t fundamentally change anything. She knew what I was.

“That would be great. Thanks.” April still seemed uneasy, still shaken though she had her determined mantle back in place and covered those feelings well. “I’ll just get my stuff out of my locker.”

Mel turned to me the moment her friend disappeared from view. “You think she’ll be ok?” Mel’s brow formed an uncharacteristic frown.

“I’m sure,” I answered injecting into my tone a false certainty that I didn’t really feel. I knew how these types of things could linger in your subconscious. “Eventually. Just give her some time, Bluebelle.” I tucked a strand of sapphire hair behind her ear. Her expression softened, eyes that matched the deep blue of her hair glistening with a misplaced worshipful gleam that was beginning to worry me. “I’m sure her husband,” I noticeably stumbled on the title, “will know what to do.”

Mel double parked her powder blue Fiat in front of my building. Even though we’d been friends since I started working at the Mine, this was only the second time I’d let her bring me home. The other time I’d been nearly incapacitated by food poisoning. It wasn’t that she wasn’t my best friend. She totally was. And it wasn’t that I didn’t trust her. I did. She knew me better than anyone, aside from my mom, but even with Mel I had to keep certain secrets, those definite lines of separation between work and home.

She turned to look at me. In the pinkish glow from the streetlamp, there was no mistaking the crease of concern between her brows.

“I’m ok,” I announced preemptively curling my fingers tighter around the cold metal of the door handle and twisting it. I desperately wanted to get out and avoid any further discussion about what had happened tonight. She latched onto my arm before I could escape. Her frown matched my own when I looked over at her.

“Why do you always shut me out?” She blew out a breath that lifted her hair. “You think I don’t know what you’re doing, but I do. I’m only two years younger than you, April. And honestly anyone would realize that what happened tonight was a bigger deal than you’re making it out to be. Stuff like that can really mess with your head.” Her eyes searched mine. “I told you about that professor coming onto me. All he did was feel me up, but you insisted that I talk to someone about it. What happened tonight was way worse. Don’t you think you should go to the hospital to get checked out? Talk to a counselor? Press charges?”

“No. I told Tan, no. I’m fine. Really,” I insisted and shook my head vehemently. Lies and more lies. I was so practiced at them. I should do every one of those things. The advice was sound. But I couldn’t. That just wasn’t an option for me. She
couldn’t
understand. I had to let it go. Deal with it on my own like everything else in my shitty life. One day at a time. Sometimes just one hour. Survive. Make it to the next one. “It wasn’t that bad.” It could have been. Sure. But almost isn’t the same. I knew that. The devil was in those details. And if it hadn’t been for Dizzy… I rubbed the chill bumps from my arms. He’d been something else. All that fury on my behalf…

No
, I told myself.
You don’t have a protector in your life anymore
.
It’s up to you to take care of yourself, April. That’s what you need to focus on. Not some silly fantasy.

Good news for my friend, though. I now felt like maybe Dizzy wasn’t such a bad guy for her after all. Maybe he could be the kind of guy she really needed, someone who would keep her safe, defend her. Maybe he could give up being the player for the right woman.

“I love you, Sweetie.” I touched her sweet face. “I appreciate your concern, but you’ve got to let me handle this in my own way. Ok?”

“Alright.” She gave in, but her lip jutted out. She definitely wasn’t happy about it. “I understand. I don’t want to tell you what to do. You know how I hate it when people do that with me. Just promise you’ll be honest with me, talk to me, and let me go with you if you change your mind.”

“I promise,” I whispered, wishing things were different, wishing I could tell her the truth about tonight and about everything else. But I couldn’t let my karma blow back on her or anyone else. It was my life. It was what I’d made it. I had to continue walking out the results of my choices to whatever end awaited me.

“Good.” She dipped her head. “I’ll see you tomorrow then, for yoga?”

“Sure, I’ll meet you there.” I stepped out of the car and leaned over the door, needing to let her go, but wanting her to stay. “Thanks for the ride.”

“No problem. Anytime,” she replied.

She absolutely meant that, and I felt a little lighter as I rounded the back of the car and climbed the steps to my building, a former residence on Davie Street that had been converted into eight studio apartments. I plastered on a smile for her, waving goodbye from the top, and turned to slide my key card in to enter the building.

The temperature inside the foyer wasn’t a whole lot warmer than it was outside. As I breathed on my fingers to defrost them, the wave of adrenaline I’d been coasting on since the assault drained away. Suddenly weak, my limbs lost their elasticity. My body felt heavier than a caseload of Molson.

Feeling like I was sinking into the floor, I slowly blinked, watching until her tail lights disappeared around the corner, my fingers curling around my cell. I wanted to hit the redial, call her back and tell her the truth. At least the truth about how badly tonight had rattled me. But I’d gotten so used to hiding my feelings that I wouldn’t even know where I would begin.

Eventually, I managed to move, turning reluctantly toward my apartment. That was when I noticed it. His motorcycle parked out front.

Shit.
My heart skipped a beat. I glanced at my watch. I wasn’t late, thanks to Mel. But it was never anything good when he came home early from work. Not anymore. Not for a long time.

I felt the pressure of everything, the weight of all of it hanging over my head like a steel anvil, if I made one misstep, it would fall and crush me. Tears built behind my eyes. I was so incredibly weary. So tired of being strong. I’d already been through enough crap tonight.
Why couldn’t I catch even a tiny break?

After breathing in and out a couple of times, I managed to pull back my shoulders but could barely do more than shuffle my feet on the carpet runner the closer I got to the door.

Maybe I’m worrying for nothing,
I told myself. Maybe he would be too tired tonight. Maybe he was already asleep. Buoyed by that fleeting hope, I got the key in the lock with minimal hand shaking and pushed open the door.

“James,” I gasped. I almost ran into him. His ambush felt too similar to what had happened earlier at the Mine. He’d obviously been waiting for me, his features mostly in shadow because of the overhead light fixture behind him.
Double Shit
. I liked to be prepared. I didn’t like when I didn’t have time to get a read on his mood.

“Babe, you know I don’t like to come home to an empty house.” His deep voice was always a little gravelly. A voice I used to love. One that could make me shiver with desire, but now only made me tremble with dread. “You didn’t even leave a lamp on.”

“Yes, I know. I’m sorry.” Phantom fingers of fear tightened around my already traumatized throat. “I wasn’t expecting you home so early.” My keys rang as I dropped them in the glass dish we kept on a tall chest by the door. Purposefully, I kept my back turned to him while I unbuttoned my coat and hung it on the hook on the wall.

“How about a proper greeting from my wife?” James put his hand on my shoulder. It felt heavy and warm, but instead of being reassured by it, my knees went all wonky and not in a good way. I was more nervous now with him than I’d been with that plaid shirted prick at the club. Probably because with him I knew exactly what he was capable of. Trepidation prickling my skin like a thousand needles, I turned to face him, months of practice helping me keep my expression blank.

My husband was still a very handsome man. Dark blonde hair, blue eyes, square jaw, a head turner even at thirty, nine years older than me. He didn’t look that much different than when I’d first fallen head over heels for him as a senior in high school. But I’d been so naïve, so like Mel, impressed by an older man’s interest when I should have been wary. But I’d only seen what I wanted to see believing the best about him, never digging any deeper, not having even the tiniest inkling that I’d end up living with one of the worst.