Remember Me (Men of Honor Series Book 1) (4 page)

“You honestly think that’s what would have happened, Tess? I mean, come on. I know you’ve started a new life here, but if Ben truly came back, would you really turn him away just like that?”

Tess looked out the back door, twirling a lock of golden hair around her finger. Mike was pointing toward the water and talking while Ben listened with rapt attention. He seemed interested, at least. If not, he was a phenomenal actor.

She never allowed herself to think about him coming back into her life. He left, and it was too painful for her to even
think
about him being in her life again. Besides, he wasn’t back by choice. But, seeing Ben now, with no memory of hurting her, tore at her heart in a way that terrified her.

“Hey. You still here?” Emma gently touched her arm.

“Yeah. Sorry. Just thinking.” She shook her head. “This is all so surreal, Em. I don’t know what I would do. He’s not the same Ben anymore, and he’s not even here for me.”

“Why
is
he here?” Emma looked at the guys and then at Tess again.

“What do you mean?

“Well, he’s supposed to be gallivanting around Europe. What’s he doing in this area of California?”

Tess sat back in her chair, her brow furrowed. “I don’t know. Everything at the hospital seemed to happen so fast, I didn’t even think about it.”

“Maybe he
was
coming back for you, but got in the accident before finding you.”

Tess shrugged. “I guess that’s possible. But only a few close friends and family know where I am, and they’re so angry with him, I can’t imagine any of them being willing to help him find me.”’

“He’s a cop, Tess. I’m pretty sure he could find you if he wanted to.”

The guys came back inside and Mike said, “Hey, Ben thinks that seeing the scene of the accident might help him remember something.”

“Okay,” Tess said, her head still resting on her hand. “I can take you if you want.” She fought back a yawn and lost. Just thinking about Ben remembering something made her dizzy. All she wanted was her bed. Maybe this was all a dream and she’d wake up to her normal life again.

“You’ve got to be exhausted, T,” Mike said. “Why don’t you sleep some and I’ll take Ben.”

“Yeah. That’s a good idea,” Ben agreed. “You worked all night and stayed longer to help me. Please, get some sleep.” He turned to Mike. “And I don’t want to intrude on your Saturday with Emma. I’ll figure out a way to get to the scene.”

Mike waved his hand. “Nonsense.”

“It’s totally fine,” Emma said, rubbing her hand along Mike’s arm. “You two go while Tess gets some sleep and I deal with all of…this.” She waved her hand over the magazines in front of her. “Maybe when you get back we can all go to dinner or something? I have to go downtown for a dress fitting. If you boys don’t mind waiting for us girls while I do that, we can eat after.”

“Sounds good to me,” Ben said, but looked at Tess, his eyes seeking approval.

She slid off the barstool and avoided eye contact with any of them. “Okay. Just send someone to wake me up when you’re ready.”

She walked out the front door with a wave over her shoulder to the chorus of “goodnight” from the other three.

Once inside her own house, Tess plopped her purse on the entryway table and went straight to her room. As if she had no control over where her feet took her, she ended up in the closet, kneeling in front of a large box she hadn’t touched in five months.

Slowly lifting the lid, she pulled out photos of her with Ben while they were dating, their engagement pictures, and various items from their life together. A stuffed red bear he’d won for her when they went to the Del Mar County Fair. It held a pink heart that said “LOVE.” A charm bracelet with little surfboards dangling. She unrolled a navy-blue T-shirt until the tiny red box could be seen. The diamond inside, a reminder of all she’d hoped for, all that was lost. Without opening it, she placed it back in the large box.

She stood and stripped out of the pink scrubs she’d been wearing for what felt like three days and tossed them in the hamper at the corner of her closet. Pulling the T-shirt over her head, she took a deep breath. The scent of ocean air and musk unique to Ben now long gone, but alive in her memory. She’d slept in that shirt for a month after he left, not ready to let go.

Crawling under her covers, she gripped her pillow and let the tears fall that she’d been holding in all morning.

The gravel crunched beneath his feet as Ben walked along the stretch of road for what had to be the millionth time. The officer who had interviewed him at the hospital didn’t mind giving Ben the exact location of his accident. It wasn’t a main road of any kind but in a more wooded area not far from the hospital where Tess worked. Why would he have been here and where was he going?

He stopped and looked down into the ditch where the car had veered, taking in the sight of glass shards. Various small car parts sprinkled the grass. The tree he’d hit was no worse for wear, just some bark torn off. From what the officer said, the car took the brunt of it, the air bag saving Ben from further injury.

Mike leaned against his truck, his feet crossed at the ankles, arms across his chest.

“I’m sorry,” Ben said as he walked back to the truck. “I just keep hoping something will stand out to me.”

“No worries. You see anything that’s sparking a memory? Maybe what caused the accident?”

Ben shook his head and looked at the black tire tracks on the street. They swerved right and then left, straight into the ditch.

“The officer said I didn’t have a cell phone on me, so I couldn’t have been distracted by that. Maybe an animal in the road? I don’t know.”

He rubbed his now much shorter beard, thanks to Mike loaning him a beard trimmer. He looked back towards the ditch. As he squinted in the sunlight, a vision of a car headed straight at him came and went. He blinked, and it was gone. Was it real or from a movie he’d seen? Real or not, it caused a twist in his gut he didn’t like.

Mike didn’t say anything. Ben couldn’t help but think of what a calming effect Mike’s presence had on him. Even in the short time they’d spent together, Ben sensed nothing could rattle the guy.

“Let’s go. I don’t want to waste any more of your time than I already have.” Ben walked around to the passenger side as Mike climbed into the driver’s seat.

“It’s totally fine. It’s the weekend, which usually means time to relax, although with the wedding and all…we pretty much work on that.” Mike smiled as he put the truck in gear and pulled onto the road. His hand tapped against the steering wheel to a country song playing on the radio.

“When’s the wedding?”

“December.”

“You don’t seem too stressed about it.”

Mike smiled. “No. Emma’s doing most of the planning, and she’s just awesome when it comes to understanding my schedule and stuff. And I just want her to be happy. If she wanted me to wear a clown suit that day, I’d do it.” A grin lit up his face.

Ben hoped one day he could feel about someone the way Mike felt about Emma. Tess’s face popped into his head. He smiled. “So you’re a doctor, huh?”

“I’m a pediatrician.”

Ben looked at Mike’s flip-flops, surf shorts, and T-shirt. “Hmph.”

“I know, I know. I don’t quite fit the image.” Mike waved his hand and then placed it back on the steering wheel. “Stereotypes can be dangerous, man.”

“Sorry. I didn’t mean to offend you. But, no, you kind of don’t.”

Both men chuckled.

“I’m thirty-two,” Mike said.

“Excuse me?”

“That’s always the next question I get. ‘How
old
are you? You look way too young to be a doctor.’ I was just answering it before you asked.”

Ben nodded. “I see. It doesn’t seem to bother you that people get that…personal.”

“Nah. I’d wear a T-shirt with all the info on it if it would help. I love kids. Love ’em. I told Emma I want like, ten. She’s not on board with that yet, but give it time.” He gave Ben a confident wink. “My little sister died when she was just five of leukemia. I saw close up what kids go through when they’re sick. I want to be someone who could help them in any way possible.”

“I’m sorry about your sister.”

“Thank you. It was tough. But my family knows God has a plan and we trust that.”

Ben nodded, unsure of how to respond. He decided to change the subject.

“Does Emma work?”

“Yeah. She’s a kindergarten teacher.”

Ben laughed. “You two really are all about kids, aren’t you?”

“We do love kids. We both work with our junior high youth group on Sundays too.”

“So why is Emma against having lots of kids?”

“She says it’s because her life is already full of kids, but I think she’ll change her mind.”

Mike got a far-off look in his eye, and Ben could tell he was thinking of the sweet, cherub faces he had no doubt were in the future. He had to admit, he envied the guy. Ben had no idea what his life was like or who was in it, but he hoped at some point to have the peace and confidence and love that Mike sure had.

A thought struck him. He frowned and rubbed his beard.

“What is it?” Mike asked.

“What if I have a wife out there somewhere?” His heart raced at the thought.

Mike chuckled and patted Ben’s shoulder. “I think you’re okay, dude.”

“How can you be so sure?”

“Well, for one, you’re not wearing a wedding ring and for two, no one has been reported missing. If you were married, I would think, and hope, your wife would be frantically calling the police looking for you.”

Ben relaxed. “Yeah, I guess you’re right.”

They were back near the beach again, not far from Mike and Tess’s townhouses. How would Tess react if he were married? He’d known her for less than twenty-four hours, and already she was foremost in his thoughts.

“Hey look,” Mike said. “Why don’t you take a quick snooze when we get back. It’s only been a couple of hours. I’m sure Tess will want more sleep than that, and with all you’ve been through, some rest would do you good.”

“Thanks. That’s a good idea.”

They pulled into Mike’s driveway next to Tess’s Roadster still sitting where she’d left it that morning. Ben ached to see her again. He shook his head and rubbed his eyes. Mike was right. He needed some rest and time to get his head together. With no idea of who he was, the last thing he needed was to even
think
about falling for Tess.

***

Ben knocked on the glass door. After trying to sleep in the comfortable guest room Mike provided, he’d given up and spent a few hours just sitting in a chair on the deck, staring at the ocean. Mike had asked Ben if he wouldn’t mind making sure Tess was up and moving. Emma was almost ready to go.

He knocked again, this time a little louder. Walking to the edge of the deck, he leaned on the railing. The sound of the waves was now a calming force for him. Hearing the glass door open behind him, he turned.

Tess rubbed her eyes. Her hair hung loose around her shoulders in waves but mussed by her head where she’d slept on it. As she ran her hands through her hair, he noticed her cheeks were rosy from sleep. Not an ounce of makeup on. Beautiful. He couldn’t keep his eyes from wandering to the overly large T-shirt she wore. It came almost to her knees, but definitely showed enough of her muscular, shapely legs. A runner’s legs.

When his eyes made it back up to meet hers, they were perfectly round. Her arms wrapped around her middle.

“I…I’m sorry. I thought you were Emma coming to get me.” She pointed over her shoulder, her hand shaking a bit. “Let me go get dressed real quick. I’ll be right back.”

She took off into the house and up the stairs before he realized he hadn’t taken a breath since she opened the door. Running a hand across his beard, he forced himself to face the water again. Oh yeah, it would take every ounce of self- control not to fall for Tess.

***

“I was mortified!” Tess said through the dressing room wall. She was trying on her bridesmaid dress while Emma had her gown altered.

“It wasn’t that big a deal.” Emma’s attempt to encourage her fell flat.

Tess came out of the dressing room, picked up the skirt of her apricot-colored gown, and plopped down in a chair. Her finger wrapped around a small ribbon hanging from the bodice. Horrified when Emma first told her the color of the dress, Tess thought she might need to find a new best friend, but Emma said it would look great and she was right. Emma stood on a pedestal in front of what seemed liked twenty mirrors, while two women fussed around her and stuck pins in every part of the dress.

“I opened the door in nothing but a T-shirt, Em.”

“Oh please, he’s seen you like that before. And in that exact T-shirt, right?”

“Yes. But Emma, you know we never slept together. We were waiting for our wedding night.”

“That’s not what I meant. Didn’t you say you wore it just to hang out in or after you went surfing? For crying out loud, Tess, you wear less when you surf. That T-shirt covers more than a bathing suit top and board shorts.” Emma eyed her in the mirror, her glare all but forcing Tess to look her in the eye.

“Fine. You’re right,” she conceded. “But that doesn’t make it any less embarrassing.”

Emma laughed. “Yes, it does. You’re just wigged out because he’s back and he’s nice to you and, might I say, even better looking in person than in the pictures you’ve shown me.” She winked.

Tess sat up in her chair. “Hey, now. You’re about to be married. You’re standing there in your wedding dress even. Don’t go dissin’ Mike,” she teased. “You’ve got quite a looker on your hands as well. And a doctor to boot!”

“Oh, please. You know how much I love Mike. I’m just saying, as your friend, you had a mighty handsome one, and if he
is
back, maybe that’s not such a bad thing.” She shrugged, causing one of the seamstresses to stop and give her the evil eye.

“You must stop moving, ma’am.”

“Sorry,” Emma whispered as she stifled a giggle.

Tess sat back in her chair again. Maybe Emma was right. Maybe she needed to be open to the idea of letting Ben back into her life. When she saw him standing on her deck, his beard trimmed like it used to be, memories invaded, and for a moment, she wanted it all back. She wanted him back. But what if she
did
let him in her life and he never remembered? She would have to tell him at some point, and then he might never forgive her. Or she could give him her heart again, only to have him remember and leave her once more.