Remembering Everly (Lost & Found #2) (6 page)

I’d happily smiled and told her that was absolutely fine with me. I was in no rush.

She thought I was being a gentleman, but honestly the idea of moving on beyond Everly seemed unimaginable. The mere thought of taking another woman to bed had me nearly nauseous.

I knew eventually it would happen. I wasn’t planning on joining a monastery any time soon, but I just had this romantic notion that if I held on to that last night with Everly for as long as possible, a part of her would always belong to me—only me.

Knowing her lips had been the last I’d tasted, and her body had been the last I’d touched? It centered me. Grounded me. Realizing that could soon come to an end was like drilling the final nail in my coffin.

Parking in the garage below, I took the elevator up to Magnolia’s apartment and walked down the lavish hallway until I reached her door. Knocking gently, I waited for her to answer.

The look on her face was anything but happy when the door slowly creaked open.

“You’re late,” she said, the look of disappointment written clear across her perfect complexion.

“I’m sorry,” I said, feeling like the worst kind of asshole on the planet. She quietly studied my features, clearly weighing the sincerity of my apology. After a moment or two, the door opened, an obvious invitation that I was now welcome inside.

I followed her as she turned, letting the door shut behind us. She was dressed down, something I’d never seen before. Every other time we’d seen each other, she’d always been in smart dresses and heels, or something equally impressive. Tonight, she was in simple jeans and a cute t-shirt. Her hair and makeup were much less grand as well, but she was still beautiful. Just different—more vulnerable looking.

I glanced over and noticed her small dining table set for two, the candles long since burned out. Guilt slowly began to set in, but not just for the dinner I’d ruined.

Was I any different than Trent in this situation?

Wasn’t I just manipulating someone in order to get something I needed?

Magnolia obviously had feelings for me, and I was going to use those to my advantage. It was exactly what Trent wanted me to do.

How quickly the student had become just like the master.

But I couldn’t stop now. The only way to protect her was to use her, because if I didn’t Trent would, and I’d seen the way she responded to powerful men. She didn’t deserve to be screwed over by someone like Trent. She might never recover.

She took a seat on the plush sofa in the living room, tucking her legs beneath her as she waited for me to join her. Feeling like she might need some space, I chose the seat adjacent to the sofa and placed my elbows on my knees, letting out a frustrated sigh. The growing silence between us was almost deafening as she patiently waited for me to explain myself.

Fuck, where do I even start?

I could tell her another lie; I could go with the actual truth for a change. My life was filled with a hundred different lies, so many that sometimes it seemed difficult to see where one ended and the next began. Right now I just wanted to be honest with someone.

“About six months ago, I woke up in a hospital with absolutely no memory of my past. When we met and you asked if I’d worked at that bar, I honestly didn’t know how to answer. I’d been in a coma and it did something to my memory.”

 Her brows furrowed in confusion, “A coma?” she asked. “How long?”

 “A little over two years.”

“My God, August. Why did you never mention this?”

She leaned forward, and I could see she wanted to take my hand, offer me comfort of some sort, but I couldn’t. I wasn’t going to play her affections that way. I knew which way this was going, but I wouldn’t use her sympathy over my situation to my advantage.

I had to keep some of my integrity intact.

“It’s not exactly the greatest pick-up line,” I replied. “And besides, I haven’t made it my business to tell many people. The few I have told usually react with a mixture of false sympathy and awkward remorse for my situation. It’s something no one can possibly comprehend, so why try to make them?”

“I guess, but it must be an awfully lonely existence,” she commented, her eyes full of concern.

My thoughts drifted to Everly—of Everly as she stood on a platform surrounded by mirrors in a beautiful white wedding dress. Her happy, tearful smile as she turned, admiring herself from every angle as she pictured herself walking down the aisle.

With another man. The man I’d pushed her toward.

“Yes, it can be,” I said, rising abruptly. I turned toward the large windows, pinching the bridge of my nose to keep the rising emotions at bay.

“Well, now you have me. You don’t have to explain yourself. I get it. I mean—I don’t, but I can see the struggle in your eyes. I know it must be hard to have lost everything you had.”

“I’m getting them back,” I tried to explain, turning back toward her. “The memories. That’s why I was late. They come without warning. Sometimes I black out for minutes…once it was an hour.”

Her empathetic face turned to something closer to concern, mixed with a bit of horror.

“How long has this been going on, August?” she asked, rising from the sofa. Her fingers hesitantly touched my shoulder and I glanced down to see her manicured hand resting there. I could feel the warmth of her touch. It felt foreign, different, but my stomach didn’t roll at the thought of it being there.

I shrugged. “A few months,” I answered.

Her eyes widened. “Have you seen a doctor?”

I just shook my head. “No, and I won’t.”

She opened her mouth to debate, but I interrupted. “I won’t lose my freedom again, and I will not end up back in that hospital.”

My words seemed to cease all further discussion as she wrapped her arms tightly around me and just nodded, saying, “Okay, okay…”

It was the first time I’d felt the touch of another human in months. My arms slid around her waist and I held on to her like a lifeline, letting her compassionate spirit breathe life into my tired body.

For the first time in ages, I didn’t feel alone, and that scared me more than anything.

My eyes slid closed and I saw Everly walking away, her arms wrapped around Ryan.

Magnolia’s hold on me tightened.

It really was over.

I
was getting married in two weeks.

In fourteen days, my name would change.

My life would change.

It was the beginning of the end of a very long chapter of my life. Soon I would be Mrs. Everly Sparrow. Everly Adams would be gone, and I secretly wondered if a part of me would be gone with her.

“Are you ready?” Sarah hollered as she flew through the door of my apartment, a flurry of activity. She was dressed fairly conservatively today, a change from her usual vibrant look. She wore a modest plum-colored A-line dress and nude peep-toe heels adorned her feet. She’d pulled her hair into a neat, sophisticated little braid gathered at the side of her head. It was almost startling—seeing the difference the lack of color and accessories did to her striking frame.

“Are we going to a funeral or a bridal shower?” I asked as I grabbed the sweater I’d laid out on the sofa beside my purse and keys.

“What?” She looked down at her attire before sticking out her tongue in my direction. “I just wanted to look nice in front of all of Ryan’s mother’s friends,” she admitted, snatching my keys from my hand and shoving them deep in my purse. “It’s your day. I’m driving.”

I gave her a smug grin as tiny butterflies came to life in my stomach at the mere mention of the wedding day. “Well, it’s not actually—my day, you know.”

“Shut up and let me drive. I’m trying to be nice.”

“Okay,” I laughed.

“Hey, where’s the groom-to-be?” she asked as we headed out the door toward the elevator. I caught her admiring my dress, and I mentally patted myself on the back for my shopping success. It was the first time I’d bought anything full price since my days living at the cliffs. When I went into a store, I normally headed straight for the clearance rack and did all of my decision-making there. If I couldn’t find something I liked, I went on to another store and so on. It was exhausting, but I was frugal and had a secret obsession with those little red stickers boasting a new, lower price.

Today, I’d just wanted to look nice. Ryan’s mother had flown in two weeks early for this specific event and I had to make a good impression on my future mother-in-law.

In my mind, clearance items just didn’t do that moment justice.

“He went out paint-balling with a couple of guys from work. He thought it would be good to stay as far away from the female ritual as possible, just in case someone decided to rope him into it.”

She nodded, a grin forming across her face. “Smart man. Now he’ll be covered in neon colored paint and sweaty. Totally gross—no one will come near him.”

“That was his plan.”

“Have you seen his mother since she arrived?” she asked as we made our way to her car, parked across the street. I caught my reflection in the window of her little yellow beetle and smiled. The light dusty blue fabric I wore matched my eyes perfectly and thankfully didn’t clash with the vibrant color of my hair.

Having such a unique hair color was great, most of the time…until you went to the store and realized the hot new color for the season was hot pink, and your flaming ginger hair looked hideous against anything even remotely pink.

“No. She flew in yesterday while I was at work, and Ryan picked her up and helped her get settled at her hotel, but she was so tired from jet lag that we just let her rest for the evening.”

“So, are you nervous?”

“About what?” I asked. I lowered myself carefully into the tiny car, smoothing my skirt out over my knees as she started the engine.

“About today! About hanging out with your future mother-in-law and all her geriatric friends!”

“Oh my God, I can’t believe you just said the word
geriatric
!” I scoffed, trying to keep from laughing at my best friend’s lack of tact.

“Well, they are—old, I mean,” she laughed. “One lady called me to ask what types of food would be served because her gut just couldn’t handle ‘that
modern food
.’ What is modern food, Everly? Please explain that to me.”

I giggled, a tiny snort escaping as I tried to maintain my composure. It didn’t last and soon we were both laughing hard as we made our way to the hotel for my fancy bridal shower—another must-do on the very long list of wedding requests from Ryan’s mother.

At least she was paying for this one.

Sarah had been gracious enough to arrange everything since Mrs. Sparrow was across the country, and as we pulled up to the beautiful historic hotel, I was thankful she had.

At least, if I had to have a shower, it was going to be in a beautiful place.

To my great surprise, the equally frugal Sarah chose to valet park her car. She shrugged her shoulders and tossed a wink over her shoulder. “It’s a big day for you,” she explained. “Let’s go crazy!”

I just rolled my eyes.

I didn’t want it to be a big day for me. I hadn’t wanted a shower in the first place. All those people staring at me, smiling and expecting me to entertain them. It was too much pressure.

We entered the grand lobby, and before I could wander over to the front desk to ask for directions to the correct ballroom, Sarah grabbed my hand and pulled me to the right.

“You don’t think I haven’t figured out where I’m going? I’ve only been here like four times making sure everything would be perfect for today.”

I stopped her, grabbing her hand as people began to move around us down the busy hallway.

“Thank you,” I said sincerely, emotions tugging at my heart as I realized everything she’d put into this day.

“It’s not a big deal,” she answered, trying to play it off.

“No, it is. To me, it’s a huge deal. All of these people don’t mean a thing to me compared to you, Sarah. You are my family. Thank you for this. For everything.”

Her lip quivered as she gave a weak smile. “I love you,” she said softly.

“Love you right back.”

“Now let’s get you in there,” she grinned, smacking my butt with enthusiasm.

“Ouch!” I laughed as we started back down the hallway. She stopped midway at an open door. I could hear faint laughter and conversation going on just inside.

She turned to me and quickly smoothed out my hair and dress.

“Okay, showtime!”

“You know how you asked me if I was nervous and I didn’t answer?” I said, all the words running out of my mouth in quick succession.

“Yep.”

“I’m nervous as all hell,” I admitted, biting my lip as my eyes widened in fright.

“Would it help if I told you there’s booze in there?” she asked, a cool grin tugging at her lips.

“Yes. That helps a ton. Thank you.”

I took a deep breath and walked into the lion’s den.

Our tiny apartment had been taken over.

I sat, curled up under my favorite fuzzy blue blanket on the couch with my hands wrapped around a cherished mug from my collection and just stared at it all.

A giant mountain of crap. No shiny mixer anywhere.

“We totally scored!” Ryan exclaimed, looking at the piles of boxes and gift bags with pride. “And this is just the shower gifts! This is just a small fraction of what we’ll get from the actual wedding!”

I didn’t know how to respond.

Was he more excited about the stuff or the marriage? Because I honestly couldn’t tell anymore. I watched him happily dive into the giant assortment that had taken Sarah and me two trips in her tiny little car and more than ten trips up the elevator, as I sat shell-shocked from my long, exhausting day.

I’d walked in with enough nervous energy to power a small village. But I’d held my head high and faced my fears, knowing that what awaited me on the other side was a family and a support system that I’d never had before.

Ryan’s mother had done all of this for me, after all. She wouldn’t have done it if she didn’t at least have some sort of affection for me.

As soon as I’d entered, I’d felt like some exotic rare bird at the zoo. Voices dimmed, all laughter ceased, and I was suddenly on full display for everyone to gaze upon. Glasses were put on, steps were taken for a closer look.

I was up for inspection.

It was the weirdest thing I’d ever experienced.

Sarah’s comforting hand had touched mine and I’d instantly felt relief. Mrs. Sparrow had greeted me and taken me through the long rounds of introductions.

I didn’t remember a single name.

Not one.

But each of them knew me and made it a point to appraise me in some way or another. It was as if I was up for a job interview I didn’t know I had applied for. Mrs. Sparrow fidgeted with my dress the entire time, making comments about my high hemline and poor color choice.

By the time lunch was over and done with, I was exhausted. My once beautiful dress felt cheap and trashy and the unique coppery waves that usually set me apart were now reduced to something of concern. My future children were at risk now—apparently redheaded boys were always bullied in school. The old ladies had concurred, shaking their heads in shame as I stared at them in stunned silence.

The whole afternoon was a disaster that had culminated into a mound of presents I didn’t want.

We had an entire apartment full of stuff. We didn’t need anything else. Wasn’t the point of wedding and shower gifts to help a new couple get a household started?

Hadn’t we already done that?

I just felt like we were cheating people out of their hard-earned money.

Twice.

As I watched my fiancé riffle through the boxes, a gleeful smile on his face, I wondered where we’d gotten off track.

When had this become more about the wedding and less about the marriage? When was the last time we’d even spoken about our life after that singular day?

Did it even matter to him anymore?

I nearly fell asleep on the couch watching a sitcom rerun as Ryan meticulously unpacked all the boxes and put everything away, making a large pile of things that now needed to go to Goodwill.

Out with the old, and in with the new
, he’d said.

I kind of liked our old stuff, but I didn’t bother saying anything. He was so happy, and despite everything—a blender is a blender. I might have figured out our old one’s quirks over the last two years, knew the perfect combination of buttons to ensure the perfect smoothie consistency, but at the end of the day it was just a thing.

Ryan’s smile was perfection.

And that’s what I needed to focus on.

The wedding was just a thing. The presents were just things. The marriage—that was what would last forever.

I hoped.
I tried desperately to push away the twinge of doubt that seemed to be growing bigger and bigger as the wedding date approached. It was just cold feet.

Everyone got a touch of cold feet. Unfortunately, mine had started to go numb from frostbite.

“Hey, sleepyhead,” Ryan whispered beside me. I cracked my eyes open to see him kneeling next to me with that perfect smile I had just been thinking about.

“We have a bed, you know? There’s no need to sleep on this lumpy couch.”

“I’m not sleeping,” I replied, doing a tiny version of a cat stretch as a small yawn escaped me.

“Liar. Come on, let’s get you in bed.” He held out his hand.

“Okay,” I complied. He helped me up and we started down the hallway, until the doorbell rang. Stopping short, I turned to him with a curious look on my face.

“What, do you think I was expecting someone at”—he looked at his watch— “nine o’clock. Damn, we’re old, Ev.”

I laughed, rubbing my eyes to try and whisk away the last remnants of sleep as I walked back toward the door. As soon as I turned the handle and pulled it open, I was accosted by shrill, girly screams.

“Surprise!” Sarah yelled.

“What the hell?” I looked at her with a mixture of horror and confusion as she stood at my front door with Trudy and Tabitha.

“We’re here for your surprise bachelorette party!” they all yelled in unison, giggling and laughing between each word.

“Now?” I asked. “But it’s so late.”

Oh my God. Ryan was right. I really was old.

Sarah laughed, pushing past me along with the rest of the ladies.

“Oh sweetheart, the night is just beginning. Now, follow me…we have work to do.” She disappeared down the hall toward my bedroom as I stood baffled and bewildered.

“You might as well just go,” Ryan advised. “You know how she gets.”

“Did you know anything about this?” I asked, giving him the death stare.

“Nope. You know I can’t keep a secret.” He laughed. “Besides, I thought we weren’t doing these things. Now I’m kind of pissed. Where’s my party?”

“You got to go paint-balling today while I had to have tea with your mom’s friends,” I countered, raising an eyebrow.

“Good point. Go have fun,” he replied with a grin.

I joined everyone in my room, feeling the gasp escape my lungs the moment I entered. They’d already torn the place apart. Clothes had been pulled from my closet, shoes were scattered all over my bed. Pink fluffy boas were sticking out of a grocery bag and I swear I saw a plastic penis in there. I was kind of frightened.

“All right, let’s get you ready!” Sarah exclaimed, clapping her hands together in excitement.

I was definitely frightened.

She sat me down and started applying makeup while I listened to Tabitha and Trudy chat. I was honestly surprised to see Tabitha. We’d never hung out outside of counseling sessions—that was a rule of counseling or something, right? I was sure she was probably going to break into hives any second at the idea of hanging around not just me, but Sarah as well—also a long-time client of hers. But it meant the world to me that she was here. I’d never told her, but she was the closest thing to a mother I’d ever had.

And now it appeared she was about to see me dressed as a hooker, I realized as I turned back toward my best friend.

“Oh my God, no. I cannot be seen in public in that,” I announced as Sarah held up the tiny bits of fabric that made up the dress she wanted me to wear.

“It was in your closet,” she reminded me with a sly grin, her arm pushing against her hip in an obvious challenge.