Remembering Mrs. Rossi (9780763670900) (13 page)

I wish Mrs. Rossi would just

Show up

Come by

Hang out

Hang up her coat

Squeak chalk on the board

And yell,
Pay attention, Sal

Wait a second, Mrs. Rossi

(I just wrote a poem)

Are you ready to hear the weirdest story in the world? Are you really and truly ready? Okay. Here goes nothing.

ONCE I SAW MRS. ROSSI
RIDING A BIKE
TO SCHOOL!

It was the oldest bike you’ve ever seen and she locked it to a Stop Sign in front of our school.

“Hey, Mrs. Rossi!” I said. “That sure is an old bike!”

I was trying to be funny but I think I hurt her feelings. I wish I didn’t hurt her feelings that time.

What You Need:
1 picture of Matthew; 1 envelope; 1 balloon on a string; strong tape; a lot of stamps

Directions:

1. Put picture of Matthew in envelope.

2. Print on envelope

3. Put a lot of stamps on envelope.

4. Blow up balloon.

5. Go to Central Park. (Go ONLY on a windy day — **
important
**.)

6. Attach envelope to balloon with tape.

7. Count to 3. (Count SLOWLY, eyes CLOSED — **
important
**.)

8. Let go of balloon. Open eyes. Watch balloon.

9. Keep watching balloon for a long time.

Scientific Questions:

Did the balloon get all the way to Heaven?

Did Mrs. Rossi smile when she saw the picture of Matthew?

What We Learned from Science Experiment:
You can’t see the balloon anymore and you can’t see Mrs. Rossi, but you can remember them.

My name is Drew. I live at 440 Riverside Drive. I live in apartment 1A. That’s the super’s house and my father is the super. He’s like the boss of 440 and sometimes I help him fix all the stuff that breaks such as stoves and sinks and doorknobs. Snowy days we shovel the sidewalk so the old people don’t fall in the snow. I love when it snows and snows and snows and they have to close school and I get to watch TV and play with my puppy all day.

Okay, this is a very big secret. I know where Mrs. Rossi lives.
In my building.
I couldn’t believe my bad luck when I saw the 10B lady in my classroom the first day of school. I never even knew she was a teacher. She was just
that lady
in 10B and her little kid was always riding her bike in the lobby. Nightmare, nightmare! What if I see my teacher in the laundry room doing laundry! Nightmare, nightmare! What if she comes to my
house
and tells my parents all the things I do wrong in school! Nightmare, nightmare! What if the kids in my class find out . . . and everyone calls me teacher’s pet! I kept waiting for Mrs. Rossi to tell the secret. She never told. Which was nice of Mrs. Rossi.

Yesterday after school I took the elevator to the tenth floor and looked at the door that said 10B. I was sad because
that lady
doesn’t live there anymore.

If you tell me one more time

Write a few words about Mrs. Rossi

I will scream

Or

I might report you

To my

Tall

Father

(He always takes my side)

Or

I might say

Fine, Mr. Shaw, here you are, Mr. Sub

And here come the words

MRS. ROSSI HAD A RED DRESS

If you tell me one more time

Write a bit more, Julie

I will

Scream

Or

I might say

Fine, Mr. Shaw, here you are, Mr. Sub

And here come the words

MRS. ROSSI HAD A RED DRESS

MY MOTHER HAD A RED DRESS

MY MOTHER LEFT HER RED DRESS

IN THE CLOSET AND LEFT

And by the way, Mr. Shaw, by the way,

Mr. Sub . . .

ALL RED DRESSES MAKE ME SAD

Pay attention

No talking!

Neat homework

No pushing!

Notebooks out

No slouching!

Spelling counts

No running!

Math test

No cheating!

Pencils down

No groaning!

Raise hands

No whining!

Pay attention

I love this class

We love you, too, Mrs. Rossi!