REMEMBRANCE (7 page)

Maria was sure that she saw something in his face as he looked upon her. A little flicker of excitement ebbed its way through her body.

“Capital, capital,” Sir John chanted, “Then I believe that you have truly been introduced back into society my dear.”

Thomas looked nervously from Sir John to Maria, for he knew the true meaning behind her uncle’s words. Unbeknownst to Maria, he would soon have her married off to the most eligible bachelor. He had hoped that Sir John would have given her some time to re-adjust after her absence, to become re-acquainted with her friends and home before pursuing a suitable match for her. 

Dawn was just raising its sleepy head when the last of the guests, tired, but contented, climbed into their carriages.

Maria stifled a yawn, but was too excited to go to bed. She feared that, once she closed her eyes, her magical night would disappear and the handsome gentleman would be gone from her life forever.

“Thomas, we are to have a picnic on Upper Bank on Sunday, if the weather stays fine. Would you be so kind to honour us with your presence?” Sir John announced.

“A picnic, oh how wonderful!” Maria exclaimed.

Thomas couldn’t help but smile at her eagerness. She was like a child in so many ways, as if she was seeing and hearing things for the first time, “Yes, Sir John, I would be honoured.”

“That’s settled then. I shall inform Mrs Clegg to see to everything that we would need.”

Reluctantly, Thomas joined Maria on the straight-backed chesterfield sofa. He had hoped that he could have taken the chair, but Sir John had already lowered his heavy frame in to it and settled down as if he was not going to move for the next hour or so. So, now, here he sat, mere inches away from the woman that took his body on a journey of a new meaning. Everything about her made his body tense with anticipation—the brush of her skirts against his leg, the smooth skin of her arm that ever so slightly touched his jacket and—owing to his height—the view of the gentle swell of her breasts above her gown.

He swallowed hard, shifted a little in the seat and tried to control the rise of desire that made him hard with need for her.

“Are you alright Tom?” Maria asked, seemingly concerned.

“Er... Yes I’m fine,” he forced the smile while his body raged on. “And how have you enjoyed your first evening back in society?” he almost whispered. He desperately needed some kind of distraction, anything to take his mind off the real issue that was bothering him.

He knew that he had picked the wrong subject as soon as he saw her face light up, causing his lust to go in to over drive. “Oh Tom, it has been simply amazing. I wanted it to last forever,” she replied passionately.

He smiled adoringly at her. Her abundance of energy and almost childlike enthusiasm were infectious and he too, suddenly realised that he never wanted this night to end.

“It is almost dawn; shall we go outside and watch the sunrise?” she asked, jumping to her feet. “Come Tom, let us go!”

He too stood up. She sounded like that young girl he’d known, eager to experience all life had to offer. He so very much wanted to see the sunrise, but he knew that it was not proper for them to be alone, and his body had reminded him of a very good reason why he, in particular, should not be left alone with her. His face must have shown his disappointment, for Maria’s smile faded on her lips.

“Tom?” she questioned.

“I… forgive me, Miss Austin… but…”

“Oh, do not be a fool man,” Sir John’s voice cut in, “have you not been good friends for long enough? Go, watch your sunrise.”

Thomas showed his surprise in Sir John’s offer, for he knew as well as Thomas did that it was not fitting for a young lady to be alone in presence of a young man until a better acquaintance had been established. He had been counting on Sir John to put an end to his torment and refuse them, and then he would be free to take his leave and his lust with him.

Sir John noticed the young man’s hesitation. “Go, the pair of you! Otherwise, you shall miss it all together, and I shall probably never hear the last of it from young Miss Austin here. Be gone with you!” he waved his hand at them.

Moments later, they sat upon the grass ledge in the garden, letting their legs dangle over the small stone wall that dropped to the willowy grass field below. They were just in time to see the orange and red ball of fire come over the tops of the trees, casting its illuminating colour over the landscape. The long grass rippled like a red river in the light of the new day and the trees became silhouettes of giant creatures with twisted arms against the colourful sky. The birds called out in harmony, welcoming the start of a new day and the air was filled with small flying insects awakening from their sleep. The air held a cool dampness and a fine mist spread out like a blanket, yet to be warmed by the sun.

Mesmerised by the way the colours glowed and changed on her pale skin, Thomas could not take his eyes off Maria; his body was pulsing in all sorts of strange ways as he drank in the sight of her. It had been too long; he had missed the company of his dearest friend during the past six years. How he had missed their sunsets, which had never been quite the same since she left. This was to be their first ever sunrise together and he wanted it to be as magical for her as it was for him, as he watched the flickering change of emotions that crossed her face.

“Is it not beautiful?” she said, letting out a deep sigh.

“Yes, it is truly beautiful,” he replied, his gaze never moving from her.

* * * * *

Later, she sat at the dark wood dressing table, looking dreamily at her image. Oh how great she felt—happier than she had been in such a long time. Although she danced for the better part of the evening, she was surprised to feel tired, for she did not know if one was supposed to feel tired in a dream. Could it be something that the mind conjured up to keep in step with reality? She didn’t want to close her eyes for fear that she would wake up. Tom was the most amiable man she had ever met; he teased her and made her laugh. His beautiful eyes had held a distant longing in their depths and it stirred a deep emotion within her that she had not felt in a long time; her heart fluttered at the thought of seeing him again. Oh how she could lose herself completely in the strong arms of this man! She was drawn to him, his warmth enticing her to get closer.

Tonight had been everything that she had ever dreamed of—a magical fairytale, a beautiful memory to tuck away in her mind for her to withdraw anytime she wanted and re-live it time and time again. Tom had been everything she would have picked in a man had she been in the real world—strong, handsome, and good-humoured. Yes, he was her fairytale prince and, even if for just one night, she had been his princess. To wake now to reality was going to be a shock to the system and she was already willing herself to continue with this story the next time she closed her eyes and slept.

She sighed contentedly, no longer full of frustration, but energised by real, honest to god joy. Although she had never believed when people talked about love at first sight, she knew that, if she closed her eyes, she would see his face. She smiled as she recalled the way his eyes crinkled at the corners when he did that now familiar crooked smile, the sparkle of genuine adoration in his eyes when he looked at her, the way a stray lock of blond hair couldn’t be tamed and fell against his brow. Yes, it seemed that love at first sight really existed. Had she unwillingly been swept into that dream void and fallen in love with him?

That was just her luck, to pick a fantasy man over a real flesh and blood one. How was she ever going to resume her real life now that her mind wanted to reside here, with Tom? She knew only too well the hurt of wanting something and having it thrown back in your face. Had she not proved that with Richard? No, she wouldn’t let that lowlife invade her thoughts and ruin probably the only night in which she felt truly and joyfully happy.

She needed a distraction! She glanced at the delicate objects on the dresser top—a bottle, a little pot of face powder, a lovely ornate hair brush, a quill. A quill-didn’t they used to use those for writing in these times? She pulled open a drawer and then another until she found what she hoped she would—a journal and a pot of ink. Collecting her little treasures, she went to sit in the middle of the large bed, and began to write everything that she could remember about the evening.

Maria turned her head on the soft pillow, yawning and stretching her limbs. She felt completely rested and relaxed. As she slowly opened her eyes, it took a few seconds for things to come into focus. Her head ached terribly; she seemed to be getting many headaches lately—it must be from stress, she thought.

She glanced around the room and was sure that there was something amiss, but she didn’t know what. The walls were still covered in the familiar pink and white wallpaper, her small white dresser sat at the end of the bed and her brown teddy was still where she last remembered it to be. So, why did she have the feeling that all was not right? As far as she could remember, she had slept soundly.

Sitting up, she saw that Margaret had been in and left a cup of tea; she picked it up and started sipping at the liquid, still frowning, for she was sure there was something that she should remember.

So what was her plan today? Endless hours of looking at the paper-peeled walls, long walks around the grounds, a day of listening to nothing more than silence that filled this huge house. Ha, just another day in the boring life of Maria Austin—what a joy! She could see if her gran was about, but she seemed to prefer to keep to herself. Maybe she could take a walk into the village, have a coffee, and visit the library? Yes, that’s what she would do, but not before taking a long shower.

“M…” The sound of her name suddenly floated hauntingly in the air. Wide-eyed, she looked about the room across the rim of her cup, only to find it as it was moments earlier. She shook her head with a smile, sure that, once again, her imagination was really running wild, as it had been ever since she had arrived here. “M…” she heard the ghostly whisper again. Slowly, she placed the cup back down on the side table and swung her feet to the floor to rise from the bed.

The girlish giggle echoed as if it was in her head, making the muscles in her legs go numb. It sounded so close, even though she knew that she was alone in the room. The old wooden door creaked on its hinges as it opened slightly and made her jump. God, she had to get a grip! Old houses made many strange noises, she noted to herself. Suddenly, the sound of movement could be heard on the other side of the dark wood.

“M, where are you?” it was almost a whisper, but it was enough to cause her heart to race in her chest. Who was this man that called to her with the softness of his voice, enticing her with its allure. It was as if she had heard it before but couldn’t place it.

Carefully, trying not to make any noise, she tiptoed across to the door. Her wide- eyes surveyed the area opposite the staircase before turning slightly to the left to glance along the landing. Suddenly, a white flash of fabric whisked the air in front of her, which brought a chill to the skin on her face.

“M, where are you?” the voice had a playful hint to it now and the sound of stifled giggling was behind her. Maria turned back into her room to see a young woman standing by the whitewashed dresser and her mouth dropped open with shock.

“Shush,” the image before her placed a finger to its lips.

Maria couldn’t have said anything even if she wanted to. The air had caught in her throat; she stared blankly at the opaque figure of the youth dressed in a long white dress. Her hair was the colour of the sun and her complexion was deathly pale with startling green eyes that seemed to look straight through her. She was sure that she was holding her breath; the blood in her veins froze as her brain tried to comprehend what it saw.

“I know that you’re here,” the voice taunted from the hall.

Again, the young woman giggled and then, as if in slow motion, her blurred figure ran towards Maria. The breath she was holding was suddenly forced from her lungs as the woman dematerialized through her body. For a few seconds, she stood completely dumbfounded, trying to comprehend what took place. When she finally regained her senses, she turned, just as the shimmer of the woman’s skirts disappeared down the spiral staircase. Gaining her confidence, despite the shock of what she had just encountered, she followed with haste. As she reached the bottom of the staircase, though, the woman’s figure vanished through the closed sitting room door.

With complete repudiation, Maria stopped in her tracks. She had heard of such encounters taking place, but had never, for one minute, thought that she would ever experience one first hand. As absurd as it sounded even in her own mind, she was left in no doubt that the image she had seen was, in fact, a ghost. Still, rather than feeling frightened by this knowledge, she was, in fact, surprisingly animated and intrigued by it.

All out of breath, Maria finally burst into the sitting room, anticipation on her face at the thought of being faced with her apparition again. It was thus rather disappointing that she found her gran instead.

“Ah, there you are, Maria. I hope you slept well,” she inquired pleasantly from the sofa.

Maria entered further into the warmth of the room, as the fire crackled in the fireplace.

“Err… yes, thank you,” her eyes darted around the room.