Read Remembrance and Pantomime Online
Authors: Derek Walcott
ANNA
Defiant pride.
JORDAN
I sorry we get here twenty years late, Reverend Rabbi, but I had a little bladder trouble and a serious attack of cowardice, not to mention colonial inferiority, but we here now, anyway.
ANNA
Defiant pride is killing me.
JORDAN
So if you could get through your semi-demi as fast as possible, I’d be grateful to you for restoring my honor, for keeping my promise, and you best make one thing of it—like christening the child, pronouncing this business null and void one time—because bigamy is still a serious charge, ask Mabel, and with modest lechery, you may kiss the bride.
(
Turns to
ANNA
)
I have kept my word, haven’t I?
ANNA
Someone you loved, huh?
JORDAN
During the war.
ANNA
Are you in touch with her?
JORDAN
I’m talking to her. Oh, that’s nonsense. She died, you see. She died in a swimming pool from a heart attack in Coral Gables, Florida, trying to extricate herself from a rubber tire. Life is ridiculous.
ANNA
I’m sorry.
JORDAN
Am I forgiven?
ANNA
Yes. Will I get to meet Mrs. Jordan?
JORDAN
You’ll meet her. Mabel, my monument. And you’ll love my son Frederick, I know that. He has his mother’s heart.
ANNA
His paintings, they’re weird.
JORDAN
Modern art. It’s him they should have shot for that shit.
ANNA
You don’t mean that. I’m going to take the baby for some air. Do you want to come?
JORDAN
It would look a little incongruous, don’t you think?
ANNA
Why?
JORDAN
Don’t you think so?
ANNA
Certainly not. I’d love you to. Come on.
(
FREDERICK
enters the veranda with his painter’s knapsack and a rolled canvas
)
FREDERICK
(
Reciting
)
“Once more up to the beach, my friends, once more,
And lie there till your naked arse goes red …
In peace…”
(
Spoken
)
I’m home, Professor. I’m home, and I’m hungry.
(
Enters
)
Well, what have we here?
JORDAN
Frederick, this is Anna Herschel. Anna, Frederick.
FREDERICK
Anna Herschel.
ANNA
Hello.
JORDAN
Anna’s a great dancer.
ANNA
Not really. Your father’s been very kind to me. I got tired and lost and I …
(
To
JORDAN
)
Sounds phony, doesn’t it?
FREDERICK
Do you like painting, Anna?
ANNA
I don’t know much about it.
(
The baby cries
)
FREDERICK
What’s that?
ANNA
It’s a baby …
FREDERICK
Yours?
ANNA
(
Nods
)
Mine … I was just going to take him out …
FREDERICK
He’s in Junior’s room. That’s great. It’s been empty. Come on, come on, you take him out, and I’ll walk him. It’s a him? I’ll walk him with you and I’m going to bore your ears off about my painting, unless I’m stealing you from the old man. Am I stealing her from you, Professor?
JORDAN
Steal her with my blessing. I thought you were hungry.
FREDERICK
Professor. How can you talk of food at a time like this? He’s got no poetry in his soul, Anna. He’s a Philistine. Come on, let’s go. I’ll put these things inside. I been up in the mountains, you know …
(
He embraces
ANNA
as they exit.
JORDAN
puts on the record, the volume low, listening. Fade
)
SCENE 2
The same. Morning. A week later.
MABEL
at the window,
JORDAN
resting in the armchair.
MABEL
Albert, you too young for me, you hear? For seven days I gone to catch some rest in Princes Town, and in those seven days you not only pick up some young chick but you contrive to have a baby, too? Is only the Almighty who did so much in one week. If you keep this up in your retirement, you go kill me from surprise.
JORDAN
Well, it’s you who left me, old queen.
MABEL
I came back, yes. But I didn’t come back for this: to look through my window and see some hippie and my last son strolling arm in arm like man and wife in that park. I go put up a sign, you hear?
JORDANS’ REST HOME.
JORDAN
Arm in arm? Let me see.
(
He walks over to the window, and after a while puts his arm around
MABEL
)
Seven years ago they could have been killed. Maybe there’s trout.
MABEL
Why you let this girl in, Albert? How she could confuse you so?
JORDAN
I told you. She used her last cent to come out here with the child, to get to the farthest point that she could, to the end of the world.
MABEL
Belmont is the end of the world?
JORDAN
She was supposed to meet friends here. Somewhere in this neighborhood. But it was either an old or a wrong address and she had no money for a hotel. The plane was four hours late, she got as far as a taxi could take her, and she got out and started walking.
MABEL
Then she looked through this window and saw the Pope of Belmont shining through the glass, and lo and behold! we have a boarder. She ha’ to go, Albert. And you know that. Frederick is the anchor she using to stay here.
JORDAN
Listen, Mabel.
MABEL
And I been watching you. You like her, too, don’t you, Albert?
JORDAN
Too? What you mean?
MABEL
You think all I do is cook, sing hymns, and tolerate your moods. You think I don’t read? You think I ain’t realize who Padmore is? You think I never read “My War Effort,” and realize that if you wasn’t such a coward thirty years ago, you would of leave me? Well, the way I have watched you watching her, all I can see is memory and regret. Lord, I ain’t know why I had to come back for this.
JORDAN
Woman, you imagining things. Is you should have been the blasted writer.
MABEL
You think what you have written, however long ago it is, the book still there, you can’t kill a book, you think it didn’t hurt me to look like such a fool. You write some hard things, Albert. My mother said it when I married you, I burned out my talent in domesticity. I have wasted my life. Whether is “Barrley and the Roof” or “My War Effort,” think they didn’t hurt me?
JORDAN
I didn’t mean to hurt you, woman. I just was not good enough. That was what makes my work so small. I am a small man, Mabel.
MABEL
Anyway, like I always told you, is never too late to find somebody young, however different. So, if when I wasn’t here you and she had anything going on, don’t let me stand in your way. I have always felt, you have always made me feel, that I stood in your way.
JORDAN
In my way? Where you think I would be today, woman? In a rum shop somewhere quoting Shakespeare and Macaulay to a bunch of no-teeth drunkards. I never been great enough to write about the simple things, about real magnificence, about you, in fact, my dear.
MABEL
I ain’t want no magnificence, Albert. I just want to go to my grave in peace, knowing that I didn’t stand in your way as a writer. And to see that love in your eyes coming back again so fierce as if you wish you was young and could go away with her … I can’t take it.
JORDAN
Mabel. We ain’t do nothing in this house. I would not violate a memory. Is very simple. Listen, Mabel: William Blake:
(
Recites
)
“To Mercy, Pity, Peace, and Love,
All pray in their distress;
For Mercy has a human heart
And Peace, the human dress…”
(
MABEL
exits
)
So cherish Pity, lest you drive an angel from your door …
(
FREDERICK
and
ANNA
,
carrying the baby, come in
)
FREDERICK
Hi, Pop.
ANNA
Hello, Mr. Jordan. I’ll just see how he is.
(
She exits
)
FREDERICK
Had a nice little walk. Anything wrong? I can feel the tension through your back.
JORDAN
From the day you turned down Mr. Barrley’s ridiculous proposal, Frederick, I knew you had become a man.
FREDERICK
After thirty years.
JORDAN
That’s how it is.
FREDERICK
Well. I’m a man. So.
JORDAN
So, seize opportunity. Act on principle and tell rumor to go to hell. You know what I mean.
FREDERICK
Very vaguely …
(
Pause
)
What’s all this leading to, Professor?
JORDAN
You know that poem …
FREDERICK
What poem …
JORDAN
Gray’s “Elegy” … L-E-G … Leg! B-E-G! Beg.
FREDERICK
You’ve recited it for thirty years … I know it backward.
JORDAN
It’s really all about obscurity and missed opportunities, you know … It’s all “perhapses” and “maybes” … Listen …
FREDERICK
Get to the point, Pop. Don’t recite any more.
JORDAN
I’m telling you, boy. The hardest thing for a father is to see his son making his old mistakes. If, when I watch the two of you, I see Albert Perez Jordan and Esther Trout instead of Frederick Jordan and Anna Herschel, then all I would have left you, boy, is my shame and trembling. Since you love the girl, erase history from your mind and make your own. Don’t ask her questions and don’t let her ask you; take her as she is with what she has, and teach her to accept you the same way. But history, gossip, rumor, and what people go say? Blank it out! You have the strength. From the day you refused to sell that roof for money, I knew you had it.
FREDERICK
I got it from you.
JORDAN
That girl’s got qualities you need. She’s bright, she’s honest; take her, with my blessing.
FREDERICK
That’s the trouble with you, Pop. She ain’t yours to give away. You don’t own the world. Stop getting on like is yours. Is up to her, not you.
JORDAN
I’m sorry. Yes. I see your point. Don’t hide in the men’s room all your life …
FREDERICK
What the hell does that mean?
(
Enter
ANNA
)
JORDAN
It means … It means I’m going to have a pee!
(
Exits
)
ANNA
What’s wrong?
FREDERICK
He says he can’t afford to change his glasses, but he’s going blind, I think. It makes him irritable.
ANNA
Maybe he’s just shortsighted. The first night I came in here, he peered very closely at me and called me another name: Esther. Who was Esther?
FREDERICK
You read the stories. You mean, if she was real?
ANNA
Yeah. If she was, that was an awful thing to do. Stand her up like that.
FREDERICK
Why not? It’s just another honky.
ANNA
Freddie Jordan, you lousy black chauvinist, come here! Come here!
(
She chases him, a mock fight, they embrace
)
Have you told him?
FREDERICK
Not yet.
ANNA
Do you want me to?
FREDERICK
No, Anna. Let me do it.
(
JORDAN
returns to the room
)
JORDAN
Oh, sorry. You’re talking. I won’t interrupt.
ANNA
Please stay, Mr. Jordan … Sit. Frederick wants to …
JORDAN
I know. I know …
FREDERICK
No, you
don’t
know. I’ve been listening to you all my life. Now it’s your turn.
JORDAN
Shall we say I’ve guessed?
FREDERICK
(
To
ANNA
)
He drives you crazy, you know that? You see what I was saying.
JORDAN
I’m just excited, that’s all. I’ll be quiet.
(
Pause
)
I’m quiet.
(
Pause
)