Remus (8 page)

Her heart was torn. The longer she stayed, the harder it was to ignore the feeling of growing unease.

Something crunched down the hall, and her heart kicked into high gear.

She stuffed herself into a thin crevice. It was tight, and she had to smash her leg against the front of her chest. She could only hope that she’d be able to hide herself well enough.

The footsteps grew closer. Slowly, ever so slowly. At one point she was sure they must have been dragging against the gravel.

She jumped when a hand reached in and grabbed her. Jenna fought to hold back a cry for help.

“What are you doing here?”

Rem growled and pulled her from the spot.

She let out the breath she had been holding.

“Rem,” she said. Relief washed over her, and she launched herself into his arms.

He took a few steps back following the impact.

Jenna didn’t care if it was right or wrong. She had been worried about him. What if he hadn’t come? She closed her eyes to shut out the thoughts.

Her arms tightened around his middle. For a moment she didn’t think he would respond but gave a small sigh when his big hands pulled her hard against his chest.

“You can’t wait for me like that,” he whispered near her ear.

He ran his soothing hands up and down her back. She trembled in his arms and couldn’t tell if it was from his touch or from the feelings he stirred inside of her.

She shook her head and refused to look at him.

“You were just late,” she said. Tears prickled her eyes. “It’s fine.”

Rem gripped her by the shoulders and jerked away. His hands shook as he looked down at her. His eyes glowed bright green.

“It’s not okay,” he growled at her. It hurt to hear him talk that way. Something in it felt so wrong. “You can’t wait here like that. What if something happened to you?”

She floundered to say something but was having trouble finding the words. His eyes swirled with red, and she felt a chill go through her. She’d never seen his eyes like that before.

“Your eyes,” she whispered.

In an instant, Rem was on the other side of the cave.

He took in deep breaths and leaned heavily against the wall. Jenna could see the beads of sweat that formed on his head and watched as they ran down his face.

Rem was struggling with something.

She took a step forward but stopped when he held up a hand.

“I’m just tired,” he said and stood with his back to her.

Jenna ignored his protest and crossed the space to him. She gently forced him to turn to look at her.

His eyes were a perfectly normal shade of green, and for a moment, she wondered if it had all just been in her head.

His face was hollower than the last time. The bruising on his wrists were now an ugly green, and there were more spots littering his arms.

She ran a gentle hand over the red bumps.

“What are they doing to you?” she asked more to herself than him.

“I’m fine,” he said and placed a hand over hers.

Jenna looked up to his now gentle eyes and smiled.

“Seems like both of us are fine,” she said quietly.

Rem stared at her for a moment before nodding to the mouth of the cave.

“Come sit in the sun with me,” he said.

Jenna frowned as she watched him walk slowly out the cave. He moved as if his body was stiff, and it worried her. Never had she seen a hybrid move like that unless they were very sick.

She followed him outside.

“Won’t they catch you right now?” Jenna asked from behind him.

Rem ignored the question.

They knew he couldn’t get away in his condition. As it was, he was lucky to have made it to her.

He clenched his fists at how lucky they had both been. She could have been spotted earlier. It was such a stupid risk. Usually Jenna was smarter than that.

Rays of sun poured down from the sky and warmed his cold body. He sat next to the mouth of the cave and patted the grass next to him. It felt good to be out, to feel the sun on his face. At this rate, he wasn’t really sure how much longer he’d be able to do that.

They had given him something yesterday. He still wasn’t quite sure what it had been, but it was slowly killing him. At this rate, he’d be lucky if he lasted a week. But it was what would happen after that really worried him. He didn’t want to turn into one, a soulless Glycon.

If he was going to act, it had to be that night. He couldn’t guess how much longer he’d have any strength to act or even this own will.

Jenna sat next to him, and his body relaxed from being so close to her. He’d noticed it more and more since she was masked in his smell. Her Vestal side called to him. Soothed him. It made him ache to be near her, and when he was, it was as if nothing else mattered.

“I brought you something to eat,” Jenna said, snapping him from his thoughts.

His stomach rumbled at the thought of eating her food rather than the crap they offered, when they bothered to offer any food at all. It had been obvious they didn’t expect him to be around much longer, or maybe it was more they didn’t expect him to eat, considering what they were putting him through.

Rem raised a brow. “Oh?”

He watched as she pulled a container out of her bag and opened it.

“I wanted to bring you warm meatloaf and potatoes, but I just couldn’t find a way to do it and make it through the hike.” She blushed and glanced away as he took the meatloaf sandwich.

Jenna pulled out a smaller container and opened it.

“Potato salad was as good as I could get,” she said.

His heart soared, knowing she had spent time making him something like this.

“Thank you,” he said and took a large bite.

He hadn’t realized how hungry he was. Maybe it was just knowing that she had made it for him that made the meal even more appetizing.

Jenna watched him quietly today. No questions. No comments. They just sat as he ate the food she’d brought him. It was peaceful. Like they didn’t need to talk but could just be together and that was enough.

Rem was glad for it. He knew she could see what had been done to him. It made him angry she saw him like this, but there was no choice. He had to see her, especially now.

He finished the last bite and sighed. It was perfect.

Rem turned to tell her this but stopped at an unexpected sight.

“Chocolate cake?” he said, almost not certain he was seeing what he thought.

She shoved it in his hands.

“I know they aren’t feeding you,” she said quietly. “You need to keep up your strength.”

He looked down at the cake she had denied him so often before and then back to her. She watched him as he took a bite.

For something so delicious, it was amazing how much it hurt going down. The cake he had wanted all this time was in his hands, and he couldn’t even enjoy it.

He took a long drink off the water bottle she had brought and set the cake to the side.

“Is something wro—” she said, her brow furrowed with worry.

He leaned in and pressed his mouth to hers. This wasn’t like the last kiss they shared. It was slow. He savored every contour of her sweet little mouth. Rem loved that mouth and her quick wit.

Jenna leaned into him, and he groaned. As much as he wanted to take this as far as he could, there wasn’t time, and a hurried quickie wasn’t how he wanted to spend his moments with her.

Rem pulled back and stared at her sleepy eyes. It was a look he wanted to remember. To have her pretty face seared into his head so that it would be the last thing he saw.

She yelped when he grabbed her around the waist and placed her between his legs. For a moment, Jenna sat ramrod straight, her back to his front. He wrapped an arm around her middle and pulled her back to his chest. Her curly brown hair rested against him and tickled his neck. Rem could feel her relax in his arms, and he smiled.

He leaned back and sighed at how comfortable it was having her in his arms.

Jenna rolled a little and placed her cheek against his chest. He looked down at her confused face.

“I thought you wanted my cake?” she said.

Rem smiled. “Let’s just stay like this for a bit.”

She placed a hand on his chest and traced little patterns with her nails. It felt good, and he let the moment just seep in. One day. He wanted one day with the woman he could never have.

“You aren’t acting like yourself today,” she said quietly.

Rem frowned and looked down to her.

“What do you mean?” he said.

She shrugged and glanced up at his face. “I mean, normally you’re making jokes or trying to get me upset.”

He chuckled. It was true. He’d spent the better part of his time just trying to drive her crazy. Better she was mad at him than tempting him to act on something that shouldn’t happen.

“Today I just want to pretend like we’re normal,” he said and wrapped both arms around her. “Just the two of us having a picnic on a beautiful day.” He nuzzled her head. “I just want to relax with my beautiful Jenna.”

She grew quiet, and he knew she was thinking about what he had said. Her face had gone hot against his chest.

“I yelled at Titus,” she said abruptly.

This time he let out a real laugh, and it felt good to do so. “I bet that was a sight.”

He could see her mouth quirk up a little.

“He won’t make you leave,” she said, looking up at him. Irritation lit behind her eyes.

Rem snorted. “I’d like to see him try.”

Jenna sat up a little more. Her face was solemn as she stared at him. “Could I?”

He started to respond but stopped. She could, and he knew it.

It wouldn’t be right though. Things had changed. Before it had just been about a little research. Maybe stealing a book. Now things were so much more complicated. Above all he needed to wound the group and ensure that Magnus and his people were free of this hell.

“Yes,” he said finally and pushed a strand of hair behind her ear. “But I hope you don’t. This is bigger than we thought. Much bigger.”

Jenna watched him for a moment and then placed her head back on his chest.

They lay like that for some time. Several times he thought about getting up, but the idea of leaving her made him ache more than he had the words to say. It was only when he could hear the Glycons stirring from the morning meal that he sat up.

Jenna stood without a word and packed her bag.

“You didn’t eat your cake,” she said quietly and sealed it back up.

Rem didn’t answer. There really was no answer. It went along with the chance he would never have. A taste and nothing more.

Without warning, Jenna wrapped her arms around his middle and pressed her face into his chest. He felt the two wet patches as she wept against him.

“Why does it feel like you’re saying goodbye?” she whispered. Her voice choked with emotion.

A lump formed in his throat. That was exactly what he was doing.

Rem pulled her away from him and placed a tender kiss on her lips.

“You still owe me one chocolate cake,” he whispered and grinned.

Jenna stared back at him, and it was as if she saw through his game.

“When you come home, I’ll make you as much damn cake as you want,” Jenna said and pressed against him again. “Just come home,” she whispered.

Rem took a breath, trying to keep his composure. This was far more difficult than he thought. The flirting game was fun, effortless. Actual emotion made everything far less fun.

He reached into his pocket and pulled out another note. It was more for his peace of mind than anything, but once tomorrow came, Titus would have all the information he needed, regardless of what happened to Rem.

“Give this to Titus,” Rem said and placed it in her hand when she pulled back.

Jenna huffed, and he placed a gentle hand under her chin.

“Go easy on him,” Rem said and rubbed the smooth skin there. “He really does care about us all. I’m the one changing the plan.”

She frowned but placed the note in her pocket.

“Meet back here tomorrow morning,” he said and looked away.

“I don’t like this,” she said quietly.

Rem looked down and smiled at her. “I know.”

“And whatever stupid plan you have is crap.” She twisted out of his arms.

Rem stepped forward and wrapped his arms back around her.

“I know,” he whispered into her hair and breathed in her sweet smell. He wanted to remember as much about her as he could.

She took a deep breath and closed her eyes.

“I think I love you,” she said.

Rem kissed the side of her head and stepped away.

“I know,” he said and glanced away. His voice was clouded with emotion.

Without looking back, he made his way into the entrance. It was time to end this and move on to the war.

Chapter Nine

The air was hard to breathe the entire walk back. Jenna sucked in big breaths and tried not to let out all the tears she’d been holding. When she reached her truck, she nearly fell into the seat.

That was it. He was walking off to die, and there wasn’t a damn thing she could do about it. She should have made him come with her. He would be safe in her truck, and they could just drive off into the sunset.

Jenna leaned her head forward and let the tears fall freely now. She’d finally accepted her feelings, and now he was being taken from her. Everyone she loved was destroyed at some point.

The note to Titus burned a hole in her pocket.

She should read it. What did it matter at this point?

Jenna pulled the note out and stared at the folded square. She couldn’t. It wasn’t right, and Rem hadn’t meant for her to see it. Still, after the way he acted, she couldn’t leave it alone. She needed to know.

Slowly, she unfolded it and stared at the words on the page.

She tossed it onto the seat next to her.

It didn’t matter if she called Titus. None of it mattered now.

Numb to the world, Jenna started the truck and pulled away, leaving a piece of her heart behind.

* * *

Rem stalked the halls slowly. He couldn’t think about her now. She would be well on her way home, and that was exactly where she needed to be: safe and far away from this hellish place.