Rendezvous (20 page)

Chapter 19

Tristan

I have no idea what to expect when I break the bathroom door in. Finding Bentley terrified and crying on the floor, I fear for the worst. I’m sure it’s my fault, that I’ve somehow done or said something to hurt her.

When she mentions the notion of killing a baby, my baby, I fucking lose it. I’ve made no secret about wanting to be a father someday, and the idea that she somehow took that away from me has me seeing red. It takes every ounce of self-control not to shake the shit out of her to get her to tell me what the fuck she means.

I’m so fucking pissed off, I barely register her confession. This isn’t about something she has already done. It isn’t even about something she plans to do. I was so fucking caught up in the idea of a perfect family with her, that I completely lost sight of all the shit she’s been through. It never occurred to me that she might not want children. Granted I’ve mentioned children, just not to her. It‘s more wishful thinking with Marco. To see her lying on this floor hyperventilating about her fear of not being good enough, of not being capable of loving a baby as a mother, tears me up inside.

It’s one thing I can’t reassure her about, no matter how much I want to. It’s the first time since I met Bentley where I’m faced with having to admit she is broken. I try so fucking hard to forget how much she hasbeen hurt
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I want this to be something that she can be happy about. Instead, she’s terrified I’ll hate her for some imaginary deception. I can’t tell her in enough words just how not angry with her I am. She is so lost in her own fears that she doesn’t believe a single word I say. It’s fucking killing me. I feel like I’m dying inside as I watch her break down and fall apart.

I don’t bother to tell her I already suspect she is pregnant. I should have told her I knew about the IUD, not that she didn’t have it put back in, but I knew it was taken out. Jacob had obtained her medical records. I knew it was a possibility that she didn’t have it replaced. It didn’t stop me from being with her. If anyone was deceptive, it was me because I know her well enough to know it wouldn’t even occur to her. Yet, I never brought it up.

I always just figured if it happened sooner than later, then so be it. So we would start a family earlier than intended. It isn’t a big deal to me, yet had I known how scared she is, I never would have let this happen. As scared as she is at the idea of having a baby, I’m petrified if she knew the truth, that she’d tell me it’s over for good.

So much for trying to make this birthday one to remember… At least now I know why she’s been pushing me away. She probably doesn’t even realize how erratic she’s been behaving. I feel like an asshole. I’ve been complaining to Maddie and Mrs. Anders when I should have been talking to Bentley.

She exhausted herself and eventually cried herself to sleep on the bathroom floor. I carry her upstairs and tuck her in after stripping her clothes off. I can’t imagine all of the fucked up thoughts running through her head, all of the shit that must have plagued her mind when the realization hit her. No wonder she is pissed every time she sees me talking to Maddie. She probably thinks the fucking worst, and after my outburst earlier, I have a feeling I’ll be trying to make up a hell of a lot more to her.

I wonder if subconsciously she isn’t pushing everyone away to ease whatever imaginary rejection she is expecting. Lying next to her, I run my hand across her stomach and imagine seeing the little life growing inside of her. I continue to trace her stomach as she rolls to face me and curls herself around me. I hold her tightly to me as I drift off into a dream filled sleep.

Waking up, I have a new sense of reality. No matter what she thinks, everything is about to change. She is still sleeping when I slip out of the bed and send an email to Marco. I know she’d probably want to give him the news herself, but I need him to know in order to set certain plans in motion.

I spend the next hour searching for a book signing in the area. I don’t want her to have to fly so it has to be local. The only one happening even remotely close happens to fall on the day before my birthday. I know if nothing else, I can guilt trip her into attending it as an early birthday gift to me. It‘s a dirty trick, but I refuse to feel bad as long as things go the way I want them to.

I spend hours reading up on pregnancy, and decide she could probably use toast and juice. I know she’s likely to bite my head off for babying her, but she’ll get use to that shit because I plan on babying her ass through every damn day of this.

Maddie is in the kitchen cleaning up the mess I left out from the night before.

“Was something wrong with dinner last night? I saw the plates sitting half full on the coffee table and there was puke all over the bathroom floor this morning. I hope I didn’t make anyone sick.”

I reply to her reassuringly, “Your food was great, Maddie. Bentley got sick last night but it didn’t have anything to do with your cooking. Although it might be good if she sticks to mild foods for a while,” I say.

“Why would she need to…oh, I see. When you say she needs mild foods, are we referring to mild morning foods?” she inquires.

I know she is trying to ask without asking directly, but again I don’t know how Bentley would feel about people knowing before she’s ready to say anything.

“It’s all new, Maddie, I don’t think she’s ready to discuss it just yet, so I’d appreciate it if you keep it to yourself. She’ll tell everyone when she’s ready. As of now, we don’t even know how far along she is. I scheduled an appointment for her later today but I just want to give her some space to adjust to it all. I didn’t even consider how hard she might take the news, and last night she took it pretty fucking hard. She’s scared to death so I just want to make it easier in any way I can.”

“Oh wow,” she states. “That makes so much more sense, especially if she didn’t even know. The poor girl probably didn’t even realize how badly her hormones have been messing with her, and all of this time she…well...she thought we were talking behind her back. I’m sorry I said something about it; I just thought her outbursts were irrational. But now I understand completely. I kind of snapped at her the other night. She flipped out on me for spending so much time around you, and practically accused me of messing around with you behind her back. I was really pissed, Tristan, and I said some nasty things. I’m really sorry. She must feel so alone right now and we all contributed to her isolation.”

“I don’t want to know what you said to her, Maddie. I know she might have been irrational, but that’s not going to cut it. You going out of your way to hurt her, so just shut up about that. If I don’t know about it, I can’t hold it against you. I didn’t come down here to justify anyone’s actions I just want to bring her some toast and juice since she puked up everything she ate last night,” I say.

I head back into the bedroom with Bentley’s breakfast but she’s not in bed. I head to the bathroom off of her room and find her on the floor leaning over the toilet dry heaving. Her hair is tangled all around her, and she is shaking again.

I walk over to the shower and let the water run until I have the temperature right, then helped her up while pulling her robe off. She is an absolute fucking mess and still the more gorgeous woman in existence. Her hair is a rat’s nest, her eyes are still swollen along with her bee stung lips, she doesn’t have a single stitch of makeup on and still she is drop dead sexy in my eyes. I’m not even fazed when she turns back around to dry heave again.

Getting her into the shower is no small task since every other minute her stomach is convulsing. I’m rubbing her neck as she falls back against me. I continue to move my hands across her, brushing them down her arms and across her ribcage. She moans when my fingers graze across her nipples, instantly perking up under my touch.

As her body responds to my touch, she pushes her ass into me and my cock hardens on contact. She doesn’t even hesitate as she turns around and takes my length in her hand. I groan as she strokes my shaft, squeezing and brushing her thumb across the head. She continues to deliver her hand-job as I delve my tongue into her mouth.

I reach a hand down and slipping two fingers across her pussy, then plunge a finger inside of her as she chews on my lower lip. Taking control of the kiss, I capture the moan escaping her as I force her mouth wider with my tongue. I’ve heard that pregnant women tend to be hornier, and judging from Bentley’s behavior, the rumors are true. I let her take the lead as she pushes both of us into the shower wall.

Dipping another finger inside her, I finger fuck her while circling her clit with my thumb. I don’t know which one of is closer to the edge. I flip our position and pin her against the wall. She lifts her leg and hugs it around me. I hoist her between the wall and me, but don’t enter her right away. Instead, I tease at her entrance with my cock while taking her nipple in my mouth as the water cascaded down my back. She is moaning and mewling as I switch between sucking and flicking the hardened bud with the tip of my tongue. By the time I have lavished both with attention, I can feel her wetness pooling against me.

The way her body is responding to me was so damn seductive, and it’s testing my already limited self-control. She is grinding her hips against my dick, needing to feel the friction it creates against her clit. She lifts her hips as I widen the gap between us, then impales herself on my cock. It’s pure pleasure as she bounces up and down riding my dick.

Bentley is so fucking beautiful with her lips parted and her cheeks flushed. The water is running down her breasts in rivulets and pooling where our bodies meet. My fingers are digging into her ass as she tries to shove my cock even deeper inside her. Her nails are scraping lines across my shoulders. Pushing her back against the wall, I take control of the pace. I angle the two of us so that not only am I as deep as I can get inside of her, but also so that each stroke brushes against her g-spot.

She glides her hand up my abs, across my chest, and around my neck before lacing her fingers through my hair as I run my tongue across her neck. I’m in a state complete sexual bliss as we continue to touch on everything that drives each other wild. I’m nipping at her neck when she speaks, her voice breathy, “Fucking hell, Tristan. Why do you have to feel so fucking good?”

I doubt she was expects a real answer to that question. “I guess for the same reason that you’re the only woman who can fuck me to where I want to forget the rest of the world exists. Believe me Bentley, you feel just as amazing. You fit around me like a glove then squeeze and pulse on my dick until its hard as steel. No one can ever fuck me like you do, just like no one else could ever fuck you like I can. Your body is custom made for me, Bentley, know that,” I reply, my voice out of breath.

I continue to fuck her, increasing my pace as she meets each of my thrusts by bearing her hips down onto me. I can feel the orgasm building in my spine, and I know she’s just as close. Moving a hand between us I stroke at her clit, applying the amount of pressure I know will send her over the edge.

As I feel her body working up to it, I lean in and nip her earlobe. “Come for me Bentley, come with me,” I demand. I thrust into her twice more before pinching her clit and sending us both over the edge.

We stay locked against the wall until the water is running ice cold against my back. My knees are locked and I don’t want to move for fear I’ll drop her. When I’m finally able to set her back down, her legs are unsteady and I hold her close to keep her from falling
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I don’t know how long we spent in the shower but I know if we don’t get out soon we’ll miss the appointment I have scheduled for her.

Bentley

To say I’m livid would be an understatement. First the asshole fucks me until I can’t walk, then he divulges the info that he took it upon himself to schedule an appointment to confirm my pregnancy. Never mind the fact that I should be allowed to decide when and what doctor I would like to fucking see.

I’m giving him the silent treatment as I get out of the car and head into the office. I hand the girl at the counter my insurance card and take a seat. It’s only ten or fifteen minutes before I’m being escorted into an examination room. Tristan insists he be present for all of the details, as if having someone stick a cold ass speculum up inside of me isn’t uncomfortable enough.

After completing an examination, I’m allowed to get dressed again, but I have to go pee in a cup. When I return with said specimen in tow, the doctor dips a small strip of paper into the liquid then waits a minute before confirming my fears. The test results are positive. Since I’m just beginning to start suffering morning sickness and my hormone levels are still somewhat low, it’s determined that I’m about six weeks along.

Tristan is fucking elated, screaming out his joy for anyone within close proximity to hear, and I’m silently screaming inside. I can’t share in his excitement because I’m still scared to fucking death of what this means for me and for us. I listen absent mindedly as the doctor talks about the first ultrasound, pre-natal vitamins, and what activities are safe to engage in until my next visit. I get a small reprieve in that I don’t have to return until my first ultrasound at fourteen weeks.

My reprieve is short lived as the doctor speaks of the many causes of miscarriages and Tristan suddenly takes it upon himself to decide what I will and won’t be doing until I’m safely past that point, which is around sixteen weeks I’m told.