Renee Ryan (15 page)

* * *

The change of subject was so swift, so unexpected, Annabeth felt her mouth drop open. She quickly shut it, trying unsuccessfully to focus on Hunter’s words and not the man himself.

She wanted to jump into his arms, to kiss him square on the lips and thank him over and over and over again. He’d remembered the day they’d met. More than that, he’d remembered her girlish desire for a silly hairbrush.

She’d been so young, so frivolous back then. She’d like to think her priorities had changed, but no. She still adored silver-handled hairbrushes.

And now, she adored the man who’d bought one for her.

He made her feel good about her preference for something most women considered utilitarian. He made her feel like a woman, not a silly girl.

Even if he was pretending he’d done nothing remarkable, she knew the truth. Hunter Mitchell was the most special man she knew. And she wanted him for herself.

He wasn’t in the moment with her, though, that much was obvious from his strange redirecting of the conversation. It crossed her mind that this was why she preferred dealing with children over handsome rogues with golden eyes. Children didn’t confuse her like this.

“You went to see a lawyer?” She felt her eyebrows pull together. “I don’t understand.”

He stepped closer, so close she had to crane her neck to look into his eyes. Eyes that were shielded now. It was as if they’d never had A Moment. Except, they’d definitely had A Moment. They’d crossed an invisible line toward something good and long-lasting.

“I’ve set in motion the paperwork to ensure Sarah is mine, legally, on paper.”

“Oh.” Well, that made sense. With his past, Hunter would want to tie up all the loose ends concerning Sarah’s custody before heading out of town. “Whom did you see?”

“Reese Bennett, Jr.”

“He’s a good lawyer.” And a good man. Respectable, well-liked, a pillar of the community, Reese was always above reproach. In fact, he was the kind of man Annabeth had once thought she wanted in her life.

She’d been so terribly wrong.

The man she wanted was standing right in front of her, looking as though he just might kiss her again.

What a lovely, terrifying thought. Hunter wanted to kiss her. But he didn’t want to marry her.

Oh, Lord, why does that hurt so much?

“How well do you know Reese Bennett?” he asked, his expression grim.

Hunter looked and sounded...jealous?

Annabeth’s heart soared.

“Not well,” she assured him. “We’ve only met a few times in passing.”

“I see.” He visibly relaxed.

And, then, so did Annabeth.

It was a beautiful day, one of those warm, blue-sky wonders of creation after a hard rain. A soft breeze played in Hunter’s hair. With that slight smile on his face it was difficult not to think him the most handsome man in the world. And he’d bought her a hairbrush.

He only did so because he’s a nice man.

Annabeth needed to remember that. Before she jumped into his arms and showed him just how grateful she was for his thoughtful gesture. Maybe a kiss on the cheek wouldn’t be too forward.

She lifted on her toes, but then Sarah and several of her friends spilled out of the house. Laughing and talking over one another, they scattered onto the porch. As if she sensed his presence, Sarah zeroed in on her father.

A smile spilt across her face. After saying something to her friends, she rushed down the steps.

“Mr. Mitchell. Mr. Mitchell. Mr. Mit—” Her voice ground to a halt at the same moment her feet stopped churning up the yard. A scowl replaced her smile.

“Sarah?” Hunter asked in a gentle voice. “Something wrong?”

Looking uncertain, she glanced at Annabeth then back to her father. Another hesitation and then she heaved a sigh.

“Sarah, whatever’s on your mind, I’ll listen without judgment.”

She nodded. “If you’re my father, and, well, you want me and all, then shouldn’t I call you something else? Something like—” she scuffed her foot over the grass “—I don’t know, something besides Mr. Mitchell?”

Hunter blinked at the child, a soft, hopeful expression on his face. “What would you like to call me?”

“I don’t know. Maybe...” She lifted her narrow shoulders, looking everywhere but at Hunter. “Father?”

“You want to call me—” he swallowed several times “—Father?”

The poor man looked gut-punched.

Sarah’s shoulders moved with the force of a heavy sigh. “Or Pa. I could call you Pa.”

“My sweet, sweet child.” He spoke in halting tones, even as he drew her into his arms. “I’d like nothing better than for you to call me Pa.”

Hugging him back, Sarah murmured something incomprehensible into his shirt.

Witnessing this touching moment between father and daughter quite simply tore Annabeth’s heart in two. She swiped at her eyes.

She loved Sarah, completely and without reservation. And now, she loved Sarah’s father, too. Wait a minute...

Oh, Lord help her, it was true. Annabeth loved Hunter.

He would never return her feelings, he’d said as much already. She needed to keep her distance, needed to guard her heart. That was the rational thing to do.

Or...

She could take a leap of faith. She could trust that the Lord was already at work in their lives and their hearts. Hers had simply fallen faster than Hunter’s.

It was possible he would grow to love her one day. After all, he had a great capacity for the emotion. The evidence was right in front of them, wrapped tightly in his arms.

But that was fatherly love.

Could he come to care for Annabeth as a man cared for a woman, as he’d once cared for his wife?

Her head told her not to take the risk.

Her heart told her he was worth the leap of faith.

Hunter looked up at her then, and smiled, his teeth white against his tan skin.

Her stomach fluttered wildly in response.

In that moment, Annabeth knew what she had to do. She had to risk heartache, humiliation,
everything,
for the love of this fine, decent man.

Hunter had no idea what he was in for.

In Annabeth’s estimation, that made the coming days all the more exciting.

Chapter Fifteen

S
arah wiggled out of Hunter’s arms and cast her gaze up to his. Instead of smiling in happiness, her expression was full of heartbreaking vulnerability. She clearly had something on her mind, something he feared he wasn’t going to like.

He felt the first stirrings of uneasiness, like a hard blow to his chest, and nothing remotely similar to the sensation he’d just experienced staring into Annabeth’s eyes.

“Sarah?” He could scarcely speak her name. “What’s wrong, baby?”

She shifted her feet nervously, then stilled and narrowed in her eyes. “How come you’re only just coming around now?” Her voice was thick with accusation and little-girl hurt. “Where have you been all this time?”

Hunter’s shoulders dropped. This hostility, where was it coming from? Why now, why hadn’t she asked this of him sooner? Had she been talking to the other children?

What did it matter where his daughter’s doubts had come from? She thought he hadn’t wanted her before now, that he’d abandoned her for no good reason.

He couldn’t remember ever feeling this brand of fear before. What he said next had the potential to soothe the child’s worries, or add to them. If he chose the wrong words he might even create a rift between them.

Lord, what do I do? What do I say?

The answer came at once. The truth. Hunter had to tell his daughter the truth.

“I didn’t come around sooner,” he began, “because I didn’t know I had a beautiful daughter waiting for me here at Charity House.”

Chewing on her bottom lip, Sarah considered his explanation in quiet contemplation. “You didn’t know about me? Truly?”

“Truly.”

The scowl remained in place, as did the hurt in her eyes.

Hunter desperately wanted to fill the silence with words. Instead, he gave his daughter all the time she needed to sort through what he’d just said.

All this time, he’d thought she hadn’t been affected by Maria’s lies.

He’d been wrong.

“But, Pa—” Sarah cocked her head at a confused angle “—how could you not
know
about me? You were married to my mother, weren’t you?”

“Yes, I was married to her. But we’d decided to go our separate ways for a time.”

“You didn’t want to be with my mother?”

The truth, Hunter, stick with the truth, no matter how humbling
. “It was the other way around, baby. She didn’t want to be with me.”

“But...” This didn’t seem to make any sense to the nine-year-old. “Why not?”

Because I was too determined to save her from a profession she didn’t want to leave.

“Your mother and I, we didn’t—” he swallowed back a pang of remorse “—want the same things out of life.”

When Sarah’s brows still remained scrunched in a frown, Hunter looked to Annabeth for help. He did that a lot, he realized, turned to her as if she was already an integral part of their family.

Squeezing his hand, she gave him a brief smile, and then moved into her niece’s line of vision.

“Sarah, darling, sometimes adults have complicated relationships. Your mother might not have wanted to be with your father, but never doubt that she loved you. That’s why she brought you here when she became sick.”

“But, Aunt Annabeth, why would my mom bring me here instead of telling my pa about me?”

“I doubt we’ll ever know why she made that decision. The important thing is that your father is here now.” She motioned him to move closer. “He loves you, Sarah, as much as I do.”

“So we’re going to be a family? The three of us? You, me and Pa?”

Hunter answered the question before Annabeth could open her mouth. “Yes, my sweet, sweet, girl. Now that the Lord has brought the three of us together we’re going to be a family.”

She turned to look at Hunter with a painful lack of assurance in her eyes. “And you’re not going to leave, ever?”

“Never,” he promised.

Smiling at last, Sarah threw her skinny arms around his neck and planted a loud, little-girl kiss on his cheek.

Eyes burning, he wrapped his arms around his daughter. He breathed in her clean, fresh scent. She didn’t seem upset anymore—praise God—but he knew he’d only been given a reprieve. They would have many more conversations on this particular topic. As Sarah grew older her questions would become more pointed and would require more detailed responses.

For now, his daughter was satisfied with his explanation and that was a blessing in itself.

“I love you, Pa.”

The carefree devotion of a child,
his child,
was so strong, so simple. Why couldn’t he be that free with his feelings? “I love you, too, Sarah.”

Next time, he would say the words first.

“Hey, Sarah,” one of the girls called from the walkway. “Are you coming to Molly’s with us, or staying here with your dad?”

Hunter turned his head in the direction of the voice. At the same time, Sarah pulled out of his arms. A handful of little girls stood staring at them from the porch, impatience in their shifting feet.

“I’m coming now,” Sarah called out. “I mean, that is—” she swung her gaze up to his “—if it’s okay with you.”

Hunter told himself he was only mildly hurt that his daughter would rather spend time with five little girls than with him. But then he remembered he would be taking her away soon, and she wouldn’t have the opportunity to play with girls her own age anymore. Not on a regular basis.

“Go on,” he said. “Have fun with your friends.”

“Thank you, Pa.” She gave him a quick hug and then sped off. Only after Sarah raced away did he remember the doll he’d bought for her. He would give it to her another time, he supposed, maybe tomorrow. He hoped she liked the one he’d chosen, he—

A soft voice cut through his musings. “Hunter?”

Annabeth. He’d nearly forgotten she was standing beside him. He swiveled around to face her. Her eyes were so serious, so full of emotion.

He knew the feeling. “I meant what I said to Sarah,” he said with conviction. “The three of us, we’re going to be a family.”

“No, Hunter, we aren’t
going
to be a family.” She gave him the sweetest smile he’d ever seen. “We already are a family.”

Yeah, they were. Somewhere in the past few days they’d created a bond that wouldn’t be broken easily.

There was one person who would try to tear them apart, though, with every underhanded trick she could think to use.

“I have to go.” He touched Annabeth’s cheek before setting out.

“Go?” She called after him, “Go where?”

“To Mattie’s,” he said over his shoulder.

“Oh, no, you don’t. Not without me.” Scowling fiercely, she moved into his direct path and parked her fists on her hips. “Just try to stop me from joining you.”

He felt a chuckle rumble in his chest. “Are you issuing me a challenge, Miss Silks?”

“You better believe I am.”

Hunter liked challenges, almost as much as he liked this woman.

* * *

After a surprisingly short argument, with Hunter smiling through most it, Annabeth convinced him of the wisdom of having her along when he confronted her mother. Sensing he was still shaken by his bittersweet interaction with Sarah, she expected their journey into town in the hired carriage to be filled with uncomfortable silence.

Not even close.

The easy camaraderie she and Hunter had experienced in her classroom was back. In fact, he seemed to have visibly relaxed around her as if he was finally finished looking over his shoulder, expecting bad things to happen.

She might as well follow suit and let go of her own anxiety. Either that, or succumb to the nerves gnawing in the pit of her stomach. She’d decided to make him fall in love with her, but was only now realizing the massive task ahead of her. Yes, he considered her part of his family, but only as Sarah’s aunt.

Annabeth wanted more. She wanted to be Hunter’s wife, and all that that implied.

His next words shot holes in her burgeoning dream. “I know there hasn’t been much time since we’ve discussed our arrangement, but have you thought of any woman we could hire for our housekeeper yet?”

Our housekeeper.
The equivalent of a chaperone for Annabeth. Another swift blow to her dream. “Not yet, no.”

“I was thinking about asking Marc if he knew of anyone suitable.”

“I’ll ask Laney, and Mrs. Smythe, too.”

“Good idea.”

Annabeth tried not to sigh at his even tone. She should be pleased. After all, Hunter was following through with his promise. He was actually going to do what he said he would do and provide her with a respectable life in his home.

That’s what you’ve always wanted, a simple, uncomplicated existence with a man you can trust.

A simple, uncomplicated existence, indeed. How could she have been so shortsighted? What an empty dream she’d had all these years. Safe, yes. Secure, absolutely. But empty, oh-so-empty.

She twisted her hands together in her lap and shot a quick glance in Hunter’s direction. He appeared to be lost in his own thoughts, his gaze focused on the road up ahead. She shouldn’t want more from him than what he was prepared to give her, shouldn’t wish he’d care for her like she cared for him, shouldn’t...

Ache for him.

“Tell me about the Flying M,” she said, desperate for a distraction. “What can Sarah and I expect when we arrive at your family’s ranch?”

A pause. A quick tightening of his grip on the reins. Then he turned his head and looked at her. “You want the long answer or the short one?”

She thought she heard tension in his voice, but his eyes were still warm as he looked at her.

Into her.

Shaken all over again, she quickly glanced away and studied the scenery. They were making slow but steady progress through town. “How about something in between? Maybe start with the ranch.”

His laugh rumbled in her ear.

Smiling despite herself, she shifted on the carriage seat and waited for him to continue.

“I can’t tell you about the ranch without telling you about my family, too.” A shadow fell across his face as a cloud passed overhead. “Home and family, for the Mitchell brood they’re one and the same.”

Home and family.

What did Annabeth know about either? What did she know about the dynamics that made up the “Mitchell brood”? Mattie had done her best as a parent, but she’d never provided Annabeth with a home, or a family.

Mattie’s “girls” were employees. Women her mother cared about in her own way, but Mattie had been adamant that Annabeth keep herself separate from them. No friendships allowed in the brothel. No relationship with her half sister.

She’d been so lonely growing up.

Annabeth had carried that sense of isolation with her to school. She’d kept herself apart from the other girls in the dormitory out of habit, never allowing herself to get too close to any of them. She’d maintained her distance even after becoming a teacher at the school.

The self-imposed separation had kept her secret safe, for a time. But her connection to a notorious Denver madam had come out, anyway. That was the problem with secrets and lies. Truth inevitably found a way to shine through the deception.

Would Annabeth fit in with Hunter’s family?

Did she want to fit in with them?

Just thinking about the Mitchells—the utter definition of home and family—brought the same warm, puzzling pull she felt every time she was in Hunter’s company.

“Annabeth? Are you listening?”

She hadn’t been, no, not completely. “You were telling me about the ranch, the largest in the state of Colorado by thousands of acres, and how your family and the Flying M are uniquely linked.”

“That’s right.”

“Do you miss the Flying M?”

“I miss my family more. I should have gone home years ago. No—” he shook his head fiercely “—I should never have left.”

“Why did you leave?”

“I don’t remember now. I wanted freedom, I suppose. I wanted to make my own rules. I was headstrong, self-centered, a rule-breaker. The quintessential prodigal son who failed to recognize the many blessings right in front of me.”

“But you’re not that man anymore.” She placed her hand on his arm. “You recognize your blessings. And just like the prodigal son, you’re returning home with a humble heart.”

“It took me too long to return,” he whispered. “The pain I’ve left in my wake...”

His voice trailed off, but not before Annabeth heard the regret in his voice, and the soul-deep guilt.

Needing to soothe his pain, she moved her hand down his arm and squeezed his hand. “You know—” she squeezed again “—as a schoolteacher I’ve been given a unique insight into what makes people do the things they do.”

He didn’t look at her directly, but he did rotate his palm to meet hers. “I bet you have.”

Holding his hand gave her the courage to continue. “Not that I have any of this completely figured out, but one thing I’ve gleaned from the classroom is that some people can be told something once and that’s all it takes for them to retain the information. Other people have to learn their lessons the hard way.”

“People like me?”

“Am I wrong?”

“No. You’re absolutely right. Like I said, I’m a hardheaded man.”

“I know.”

He threw back his head and laughed. “Good to know I can always count on you to speak the truth.”

He seemed so approachable in the muted light of the afternoon, smiling at her, revealing a part of his heart she didn’t think anyone else knew. She wanted to reach out, to touch his face, to ease away that haunted, guilt-ridden look he tried so hard to hide from the world, and her. “You’re a good man, Hunter Mitchell. I’m honored you want me to help you raise your daughter.”

“Thank you, Annabeth.” He raised her hand to his lips. “Thank you for agreeing to come with us.”

“You’re welcome.”

He released her hand and focused once more on the road.

Sighing, she watched the scenery pass by with unseeing eyes. If only Hunter would let her fully into his heart, not just a small portion of it. If only he would give her—give them—a chance.

A hopeless set of wishes, she knew. His wife Jane had been his one true love. Annabeth could only hope to be second best in his heart. She had too much of her mother in her to consider that an acceptable outcome. But she was no quitter, either.