Replicant: The Kithran Regenesis, Book 2 (11 page)

“Because?” Erik prompted as he sat behind Maska and slid his legs around the Replicant, curling one strong arm around Maska’s waist to pull him tight to the front of his body.

“Because I felt it might somehow make up for what I’d done to you.”

“But you didn’t do anything to me.” I watched Erik bury his face in Maska’s neck and hold him. I felt apart from them in a way I hadn’t earlier. Apart and so alone, that numb, cold feeling crept back through my body. I welcomed it with open arms.

“I was on that ship and was so excited to be having adventures; I never looked closely at what was going on. Never questioned why we visited so many different planets. I was stupid and I deserved what happened.”

I shook my head. “No, you didn’t.”

Someone on that ship had been innocent. Maybe more. The rusty taste of shame flooded my mouth. I scooted off the bed and stood beside it. Looking at Erik cradling Maska to his body, I knew they would be okay. I let the image of them—one so light and one so dark—imprint on my heart.

“Don’t leave.” Maska held out his hand.

I stared at it as inside, I grew tighter and tighter. Afraid my lungs would burst, I backed up and bent to grab clothes off the floor. I barely registered that I was sliding on Erik’s huge drawstring pants and T-shirt, but I tripped over the hem as I backed to the door.

Erik looked up, frowned. “We’re not done talking. We have to figure this thing out.”

I nodded. “We will. I just need to process this, okay? I need a little time alone. And I need some whiskey.”

Surprisingly, they let me leave.

I walked to the mining pod where Lux, Kol and Egan had taken up residence. Kei had said they had some sort of weird attachment to the place and that’s why they hadn’t taken one of the larger, nicer living pods. Staring at the door, I blinked and tried to get control of my thoughts because they felt mired in sludge—thick, yet elusive. Before I could raise my knuckles to knock, the door slid open and Lux stood there, mouth gaping before she raked her gaze over my body and grinned.

“Wow, you look well used. So the catalyst thing worked?”

“Catalyst?” I blinked, worked to focus on her face.

She frowned and yanked me inside, calling out to Kol and Egan as she led me to the couch in the crowded living room space. She clicked off the huge vidscreen on one wall. Kol came in from what I assumed was the bathroom because he was wrapping a robe around his partially wet body. Egan came down the hall drying his hands. He had dirt on his wrists and arms, probably from the greenhouse. I stared at each of them, having totally forgotten why I’d come here. Frowning, I looked at my twisted hands, my white knuckles.

“Jarana?” Egan came to me and sat beside me on the couch, wrapping one arm strongly around my back.

I leaned into him and closed my eyes. He’d been such a good friend growing up.

“Jarana,” he prompted, lifting my face.

Opening my eyes, I let that gray calm take over. “I know how to get Maska pardoned. I need to fly out of here today.”

“Today?” Lux squatted in front of me. “Can’t you use the vidscreen and contact whoever it is you need to talk to? You don’t have to leave Kithra.”

I hadn’t said I was leaving Kithra permanently, but I was. Lux was too damned smart not to have realized that instantly. “It will go better for him if I do this in person. I have the wires to your ship hidden in a compartment in the floor in one of the west tunnels. I’m sorry I took them.”

“Sorry you—” She broke off and leaned closer, putting her hand on my knee. “Hey, what’s going on?”

I shook my head. If I tried to explain right then, I’d break down. “Please, can you get me out today? Without telling Maska and Erik.” I couldn’t stop the small smile that tilted one side of my mouth. “They probably won’t be coming out of my living pod for a day or two anyway.”

“They’re back together?” Egan rubbed my back. “You helped?”

I nodded.

“Good,” he breathed, hugging me. “That’s so damned good.”

“I knew you could do it,” Lux agreed.

Kol, who’d stayed silently in the background, came farther into the room. “I can have the ship ready to go in two hours.”

I met his black eyes, took in the frown. He didn’t like me in the least and wasn’t afraid to let me see it. Inclining my head to let him know I got the message, I stood. “Can you loan me a flight suit, Lux?”

“You don’t want to go by your place and get your things?” Lux grinned.

“No.”

“So you’re coming back?” Egan asked.

“Yes.”

“Oh good!” Lux breathed before she shocked the hell out of me by hugging me. She almost killed my numb.

But my lie worked. I had no intentions of ever returning to this planet.

Chapter Twelve

Explaining Maska’s involvement on that slaver ship didn’t fully convince the authorities on Bastilleen, but the huge profit from the sale of my ship did the trick. I’d worked in their system long enough to know how to manipulate the corrupt members.

I had ruined the man’s life by blindly dumping everyone on that slaver onto the nastiest planet in the known galaxies.

Giving up my ship and most of my money meant taking smaller jobs fast and hitching rides on cargo ships to transport the convicts, but in two months, I’d earned enough to purchase a unique fixer-upper. That description was as close to a compliment as I could get with my new ship. Nothing more than a cockpit, two tiny bunk rooms, and a cargo hold, she’d spent her years as a quick transport within a densely planeted solar system. Hell, her simulator was in the cargo hold next to a two-person wall table and bench combo.

But I wasn’t after luxury at this point. I just wanted to keep busy and to forget. I christened her Pitney, which was an Old English boy’s name that meant “island of the stubborn one.” There wasn’t room for more than one or two people to live on this ship, and I was kind of hoping the stubborn name would keep her in space.

With barely enough money left for docking fees, I had to park her in the shadiest station this side of the Toquerian Sector and wear my guns each time I ventured out for food and supplies. Luckily, I’d nabbed seven convicts in this sector—aptly named Sector Two because no one here was bright enough to come up with a real name when they’d slapped a supply station and a couple of bars on the rocky planet—so most left me alone.

I could do the repair work on her myself, so I stayed busy and tried hard not to think about my next move.

I could go after that last Replicant for a nice, big bounty, or I could keep taking the smaller, easier jobs and risk ruining my reputation for the bigger jobs.

Problem was, I didn’t have long to decide.

Dropping the wrench, I kicked the hover creeper out from under a low-lying nest of wires and touched my stomach. Looked like I’d be bringing another Gwinarian, or half anyway, into the worlds. The baby didn’t show much yet. I’d put a little of my weight back on. I was still thin and probably always would be—my energy burned too strong for idleness these days. Energy I attributed to the constant, raging need I had for Maska and Erik. Being separated from them felt like someone had torn holes in my body and just left them open and empty and aching. It was astonishing that I could have formed such a strong bond with them in so short a time. I truly didn’t know either of them well enough for what I felt, but it was there nonetheless.

The only reason I had gained weight was because I could do nothing that would jeopardize the tiny, precious life growing in me. So, I ate. Even though I missed my Kithran food nearly as much as I missed those two men.

Stretching my fingers over the tiny mound, I smiled.

The baby felt like a girl.

I hoped she was a girl because I wanted to name her after my sisters, but if he was a boy, he would be Galen. I’d already bought a garishly bright purple teddy bear, just in case. It had been my second father’s favorite color. The thing looked hellaciously silly amid the lack of color on this gunmetal gray ship, but it cheered me. I’d placed it on the bench seat by the simulator so it kept me company when I ate.

Today, restlessness burned through me like wildfire. I knew why. Official word had come down this morning, and I really needed to pass it along. Closing my eyes, I rolled off the creeper and walked to the simulator for a cup of coffee before flipping on the VR screen I had set up on the small table.

Taking a deep breath, I called Lux. I frowned when I got Egan, even though his white-toothed smile warmed me in ways the coffee never could. “Thought I’d called Lux.”

“You did. I got here first. You have black shit all over your face, did you know?”

I shrugged. “Leaky pipes this morning.”

“So?” He leaned forward, and his pretty face was such a welcome sight, I wished he were really in front of me.

“Maska’s pardon is official now. I got word this morning. He can live freely on Kithra with Erik, and he can do it as himself…or in whatever form they prefer.”

His shoulders lowered as he smiled. “Thank you. What are you going to do now? Lux found out you sold your ship.”

“Nosy bitch,” I muttered.

He laughed and pulled a strand of dark, coppery hair off his face. “She is nosy, but you gotta love her. Even you do a little, huh?”

I held up my thumb and finger, keeping them about an inch apart.

“You look good despite the oily makeup job. Face has filled out a little so you don’t look so sickly.”

I frowned at him. “I didn’t look sickly before, just sort of…” I trailed off because I couldn’t come up with a description other than sickly.

“Your hair looks pretty, too.”

I reached up and patted the hair that had grown faster than it normally would have—probably due to all the extra vitamins I was taking in for the baby. The red strands were finally passing my ears and not sticking out all over my head. “How are they?” I finally asked.
      
He didn’t have to ask who. “Fantastic. They moved back into their pod and have spent an extraordinary amount of time embarrassing everyone as they get lost in exploring their new relationship and Maska’s new body.” Egan grinned. “It’s pretty hot, actually. Kol walked in on them in the control room when they thought everyone was asleep and was so turned on, he kept Lux and me up the rest of the night.”

“Yeah, I didn’t need to hear all that, thank you very much.” The sensual grin that stretched his lips made me warm, but not as warm as imagining what Maska and Erik had been doing together.

“Jarana, why won’t you come home? They miss you.”

“Sounds like they’re doing just fine.” I took a sip of the coffee and grimaced. This station had crappy supply packets for the simulator.

“I miss you. So do the others.”

I lifted an eyebrow. “I can guarantee Kol doesn’t miss me.”

“He’s slow to warm up. You’ll grow on him if you give him the time. And trust me, he’s worth knowing.”

Wanting to tease him, I leered. “You guys ready to take on a fourth already?”

Chuckling, he shook his head, amber eyes sparkling even over the hazy VR screen image. The debris fields around Kithra wreaked havoc with the satellite feeds. “The three of us make a perfect bond—we won’t be adding to our family. But we can always use our friend.”

My heart ached, and I looked away from the screen for a minute to catch my breath. I fiercely wanted to go home, wanted to have my little one there, wanted to curl up with Maska and Erik every single damned night. Clearing my throat, I hoped he’d attribute the huskiness of my voice to the bad connection. “Think I’ve done enough to those men.”

“We don’t.”

I nearly fell out of my chair when the voice came from behind me. I turned to find my imagination had finally tripped a switch and escaped my body. Maska, looking fine in Earth jeans and a brown sweater, stood just inside the doorway to my cargo hold. Erik stepped up behind him, his blond hair longer than it had been two months ago, strands falling into his eyes.

Looking back at Egan, I caught the huge, naughty smile on his face and shook my head. “Lux isn’t even there, is she?”

“No, she’s
there
. With Kol, too. It was his turn to take the trip with her.”

I craned my neck to see around the two big men taking up serious space on the tiny craft.

“She and Kol are still on the ship.” Erik stepped around Maska, curling his lip at the lack of space when his shoulder bumped into a support beam. “Bye Egan.” He reached down and flipped off the screen.

Shock held me still and silent, my fingers feeling bloodless as I stopped the urge to put them over my stomach to hide the small difference they might pick up.

Erik reached down and slid his hands under my arms so he could yank me from the chair. He pulled me tight to his chest and buried his face in my neck. “I can’t believe you left us like that,” he whispered.

I started to shake and couldn’t stop no matter how hard I tried. Nor could I stop from squeezing his neck and wrapping my legs around his waist. I stared at Maska over his shoulder.

Those violet eyes hadn’t left me, but they moved over my hair and he smiled. “Your hair is going to be stunning when it’s fully grown back. It’s the color of ripe gorvo fruit.”