REPRESENTED (47 page)

“She isn’t that ‘gay Southern Rock singer’” Karin said exasperatedly “She is that Southern Rock Singer who happens to be gay!”

The four of them were taking a meeting in Karin’s hospital room since she hadn’t been allowed to leave yet.  The hospital wanted her to go to a rehabilitation home but Cassie and Karin both had put enough pressure to keep her in the hospital until she could walk on her own, something that had been in doubt briefly.  Karin adjusted the strap on the sling holding her arm up and tried to sit up to be more comfortable in the bed.  She leaned forward to emphasize her point to Don who was trying to explain his position.

Don was exasperated.  Karin wasn’t very diplomatic these days.  In the months since her accident she had become short and once her speech had come back in full force, demanding.  She felt she had to help with Cassie’s career.  Cassie allowed it since it gave Karin something to brood on besides being stuck in the hospital for months on end.

It also allowed that wonderful brain of hers to remain active.  There were spots of her memory missing, possibly forever; the doctors were amazed how much she did have considering the damage that had been done to her.  The F.B.I. had come in and she remembered nothing of the attack and couldn’t tell them anything, this concerned Cassie since it meant that whoever had done this was still out there.  There were times though that she wondered if Karin’s memory was fragmented on purpose, selective memory and all that.  There was a slyness that was there now and occasionally Cassie wondered what Karin was thinking.

Since the accident as they called it, Karin called it an attack, Cassie hadn’t performed or appeared anywhere.  She had refused to record any songs, perform, or even appear anywhere.  She had stayed devotedly by Karin’s side.  Don was playing the PR as much as he could but the public and media were sick of the ‘devoted fiancée’ kick and he wanted Cassie performing and singing.  The guys in the band were becoming restless too.  Several of them had come to New York to see Cassie and were astonished by how wan she had become, no tan, no makeup, she looked almost skeletal as she stayed by Karin’s side.  Karin had tried to get her to go out but Cassie refused, she was afraid to go anywhere without being a short taxi ride from Karin’s side.  She went home daily but rarely went anywhere else.  Groceries were delivered but the deliveryman was not allowed into the apartment.  She had basically become a hermit.

Now they were arguing about semantics and Cassie smiled at the color that returned to Karin’s face as she argued her point.  It didn’t really matter.  The PR bandwagon had rocketed sales for Cassie’s latest songs into the stratosphere.  Despite being ostracized years ago for breaking the code of lesbian silence in Nashville and the entertainment industry she was now a reluctantly accepted part of it all.  Public opinion had swayed many people.  Unfortunately she wasn’t capitalizing on it due to Karin’s recovery which was painfully slow.

“I’ll go when Karin can be by my side” she kept saying.  She believed it too.  They wouldn’t be apart if she could help it.  She told no one of the thinly veiled threats she had gotten from time to time since Karin had been attacked.  She was certain it was the same person but she didn’t know what to do.  The F.B.I. had turned up little in the house and they were certain her attacker or attackers had worn gloves.  Karin’s lack of memory on the subject didn’t help things.  Meanwhile they lived in this kind of limbo as Karin pulled out of the death sentence they had nearly given her.  Slowly, painfully she made progress and began to return to a semblance of normalcy.  Her bruises faded, her scratches and abrasions healed to nice little white scars and some would fade away, but others would be there forever.  Her bones healed very slowly, but it was her mind that wouldn’t heal as the easy anger showed.  She wasn’t quite the Karin they had all known and in Cassie’s case loved.

“Ms. Myers, I believe you can go home.  I’d like you to start out-patient therapy.  Living at home you will feel better and we can arrange an in home nurse.”  The doctor attempted to look happy for her but Karin looked at him blankly.  Her eyes haunted many of the doctors, they had discussed it.  Those dark green pools penetrated in an odd way.  Her jaw, one of the few bones not crushed was stubbornly set on her new teeth.  He couldn’t read her, the psychiatrist said it might take years for her to heal mentally, if ever.

“That’s terrific news!” Cassie chirped by her side where they sat side by side.  “We will start interviewing for a nurse right away!”

“When will I walk without a walker?” Karin asked for the millionth time, she hated the restrictions on her personal freedom, having others take care of her.  She was used to bustling activity, freedom of movement, she was now stiff and awkward, feel frequently without assistance and she wanted answers.  The ones they gave her never satisfied her and she barked her anger at any in range.  She only refrained where Cassie was concerned but seeing her anger at others frightened Cassie.  She could see that fear and it bothered her.

As Cassie locked herself in the fortress that was their apartment she realized that here she felt safe.  The hidden room she knew was her ultimate line of defense if intruders invaded.  Although the apartment had always been cold with its clean lines she had become used to it.  All of Karin’s things that had been moved from Wisconsin to Nashville and now here to New York were stored in one of the spare bedrooms waiting for Karin to unpack them.  Her own things that she had salvaged from the house in Nashville were here as well.  Fortunately most of her show wardrobe had been on the bus, in the plane, or in suitcases in between.  What had been in the house had been pictures, trophies, and mementos.  Some could be replaced and had been but the feeling of discomfort that the house now radiated she could not shake, it was why she wanted it gone, sold, and out of their lives.

She had been happy in this clean and cold apartment, with Karin.  She wondered what her being home would mean.  Karin was so cold, the anger was lying right below the surface these days.  It was frightening to see as she verbally flayed people alive with it.  Only to Cassie had she never lashed out.  Her fear though was that she would.  They only talked of superficial things or Cassie’s career.  She wanted Cassie to go out, to perform, to sing, to record but Cassie adamantly refused.  She could be as stubborn as Karin.

The apartment didn’t look much different.  The walker and the wheelchair were unwelcome additions as Karin looked around, she had never been this gone for so long from her apartment.  The animals let her know it too.  D.O.G. wagged himself sick at her return.  C.A.T. insisted on sitting on her lap finding the novelty of the wheelchair an interesting idea as she rolled them both about.

Brock the male nurse that had been thoroughly vetted for Karin to help her would stay in the guest room.  He would be relieved three days a week by Sylvia another nurse that had been recommended and passed their stringent guidelines.  Both nurses were also bodyguards but only Karin knew this.  She didn’t want to worry Cassie who appeared very nervous. 

Cassie seemed to enjoy wheeling Karin around the apartment, always there to help her which began to annoy the independent Karin.  She couldn’t fit comfortably on the small balcony and her attempts to get out there with the walker nearly had it flying over the side.  Only Cassie’s timely interference kept it from sailing.  “You can’t do that, imagine who it would hit?” she said exasperated at Karin’s temper tantrum.

Karin pleaded exhaustion and Cassie ended up bringing her dinner in bed because she ‘had to keep her strength up.’  Karin picked at the food, feeling on display and at Cassie’s mercy.

That night after Brock took her vitals and dispensed the meds she still had to take to alleviate the pain in her bones that were mended as well as the aches and pains of the joints affected by the attack, Karin waited until he went to his room and then she pretended to fall asleep until Cassie was sound asleep in the bed beside her.  She then cautiously made her way to the office and settled with a sigh into the luxurious chair she kept there.  D.O.G. settled with a sigh at her feet, happy to have her home at last.  C.A.T. settled into ‘his’ chair as he watched with sleepy eyes as ‘his’ human worked her way onto the computer.

Why couldn’t she remember her password or how to even turn on the computer?  It took several attempts before she figured out how to get on the computer.  She knew that she knew how to get on the computer she just couldn’t put it in any semblance of order.  It was like having a word on the tip of her tongue and being unable to spit it out.  She knew things but they weren’t always where she wanted them to be when she wanted them there.  The doctors said it was brain damage but one had said she was amazingly lucky at the extent of her injuries that she wasn’t paralyzed or brain dead.  She sighed, she was sick of doctors.  Exasperated she tried Cassie’s name on the computer and much to her amazement was able to get into it.  She couldn’t remember ever changing it to this and thought perhaps it was an error in judgment on her part.  She then realized it wasn’t the main computer that she was on but a limited access part of it instead, she had set that up so that Cassie could use the computer any time she was here visiting.  Scratching her head where the hair had begun to grow back and the bone regrown in spots she thought really hard about what the main password might be.

Staring at C.A.T. something niggled at her brain.  She knew the processor up there didn’t fire on all cylinders and might never again.  It was frustrating.  She knew it might be permanent too.  She glanced at the reflection in the fish tanks glass at her face.  Basically it looked the same but a different sameness, minor alterations to her face told her of changes she didn’t like.  She liked the wink look but at the same time thought of it as though she were a stroke victim.  Her nose was subtly different and better in some ways.  She was still pretty, that had worried her for a while, that Cassie would be horrified when the bandages came off but the plastic surgeon who had set her bones in her face had done a terrific job, the fact that there were many new and recent beautiful pictures of her taken had helped him do justice to the damaged face.

Cassie, she had stayed by her side faithfully thought this all.  Dammit, it could so easily of been Cassie who had been home when they intruders made it into the house.  They had been set on destroying the place when Karin had discovered them.  She still remembered their voices although she had told the police and the F.B.I. that she remembered nothing.  She unfortunately remembered almost everything of that day and night as she subsided into the excruciating pain she had been subjected to.  The voices had been distinct,
female
….

“You should use a crowbar”

“A baseball bat is better”

“But a crowbar is harder”

“But with a baseball bat I can get a better grip and it won’t break my nails”

What female had a grudge against her?  Against Cassie?  Why had
they
been sent?  Sure there had been a few subtle warnings about renewing a contract with Kreske but she knew Elliott had handled that.  He would have been stupid not to.

Suddenly as she stared at C.A.T. who had decided to clean his fur she realized the password: Savannah, now if she could only remember how to spell it.  Three attempts and she locked herself out of the computer.  She had to restart the computer and finally spelled the password appropriately and with a capital letter at the start.  She was relieved when it booted up properly after that.  Quickly she got on line and into a chat-room where she deliberately signed in.

‘Rep-Girl’ was her call sign, corny she knew but she hadn’t been the one to choose it originally.

“hey” came an immediate typed greeting.

She saw it was from ‘Rep-boy’ and was relieved.  He must have been monitoring the site to see when or
if
she ever came on again.  She typed rapidly and soon had a few answers as well as a couple of things set in motion in no time. 

“You sure?” he asked.

“Playing hard ball” she typed in response.

“K K, on its way” he responded and signed off.

“What’s that?” a voice over her ear had her jumping a foot and banging her sore arm on the desk.

Swearing under her breath she turned to see a sleepy and disgruntled Cassie standing there looking cute but angry.  She reached to shut off the computer but Cassie was quicker and grabbed her arm looking at the short conversation.

“What does that mean info Nashville?  Is this some kind of code?” she looked accusingly at Karin.

Karin felt her anger rising and tried the breathing exercises that she had practiced with several of the moron doctors who didn’t understand the pain she was in or the reasons for her anger.  She wasn’t exactly sure of all her reasons for her anger either.  Sometimes the breathing helped; mostly it pissed her off that she even found it necessary.  This was Cassie though and she saw the hurt in her beautiful eyes and wanted to alleviate that.  “I needed some information about what happened and as you all have kept most of what happened to me a secret from me I had to find out some way.  I was going to check newspaper accounts next.”

“We controlled the newspaper accounts, Don promoted it all as you requested” Cassie said sarcastically annoyed at the whole situation.  It was the middle of the night and finding Karin gone from their bed had frightened her.  She found herself frightened a lot these days.  She was afraid of losing Karin, she was afraid of going anywhere without her.  The trips to the hospital with different cabs had unnerved her until she hired a car service to pick her up and drop her off every day.