Requiem (4 page)

Beth giggled before making a poor attempt at
a straight face. “It’s not your fault.”

“
It’s completely my fault.
I should have stopped him.”

Beth’s smile disappeared. She touched my
arm. “Nigh, you didn’t know to stop him.”

“
No, I sure didn’t,” I said
under my breath, knowing Jared could hear.

We tossed our empty cups into the trash
before making our way to campus. The walk seemed longer than the
years before. I remembered walking down the same street, wondering
if I would run into Jared, hoping I could steal another moment with
him. A smile touched my mouth as I looked behind us. The Escalade
was parked across the street, half a block away.

So much had changed since I sat on the park
bench. Life had gone from bad to worse, to wonderful to
unbelievable, and now my days were as mundane as any other college
sophomore. If only I could close my eyes without seeing my father,
but that was asking for too much.

Beth would steal a peek at me now and then.
Finally my curiosity outweighed my aversion to her lengthy
explanations.

“
Okay, Beth. Do I have
something on my face?” I asked.

“
A booger,” Kim said
without expression, pointing to my nose.

“
I have a booger on my
nose?” I gasped, my hand flying up to cover it.

“
No,” Kim said.

Beth smiled. “It doesn’t look like you’ve
had much sleep, is all.”

My hand didn’t leave my face without wiping
my nose a few times, and then I made a face at Kim. “I haven’t, I
guess.”

“
You guess?” Beth
persisted.

“
Bad dreams,” Kim
said.

“
How did you know?” I
asked.

Kim shrugged. “Just a guess. What are they
about?”

“
Mostly Jack.”

Beth’s mouth slipped to the side, and then
she frowned at Kim with disapproval. Kim didn’t flinch.

“
What about your dad?” Kim
said.

I scratched my head and watched for
traffic—stalling, of course, uncomfortable with the direction the
conversation had turned.

“
Just the way he died. But
it’s different.”

“
Different how?” Kim
prodded.

Beth stopped mid-step. “Geez, Kim! Knock it
off already!”

“
Sometimes talking about it
can help, Nina,” Kim said, ignoring Beth.

“
Not today,” I said,
looking up the aged brick of the business building, “I’ll see you
guys at lunch.”

Class was endless. My mind filled with
thoughts of Sasha, Jared, and Claire waiting in the unforgiving
desert sun to save Ryan from himself. As time wound down, I felt
more and more angry. Guilt followed me everywhere I went, and the
lack of sleep left me irritated. By the time class dismissed, I
pushed through the door, paying no attention to the flabbergasted
looks of the students I shoved past.

Kim stopped me in my tracks. “Whoa!”

A few breaths were necessary before I could
speak. “Sorry…I was…I don’t know.”

“
Class was that bad,
huh?”

“
I don’t remember,” I said,
rubbing my temple where it had met with Kim’s bony
shoulder.

Kim looked down the hall, and then back at
me. “Okay. What’s going on with you? You’re not yourself.”

“
I’m just tired,” I said,
sliding by her to escape down the stairs.

On the Greens, the closest bench took the
brunt of my anger when I slammed my backpack into it before sitting
down in a slump. My next class was in ten minutes, and I had no
motivation to listen to the monotonous rules and itinerary.

The students passed, chuckling and
chattering with the energy expected on the first day of school. The
summer sun was already too warm for the early hour, and with no
breeze, I could feel the beads of sweat forming between my clothes
and the wood. Campus didn’t feel like home, anymore. I felt years
from the giggles and laughter I shared with my friends, sitting at
lunch, and coffee shops, and the pub. My mood grew worse, and I
refused to budge from my bench.

And then he sat beside me.

“
Warm day, huh?” he asked
without looking in my direction.

“
I guess.”

“
Did you miss the bus?” he
asked, peeking at me from the corner of his eye.

I sighed. “I let it drive away so the love
of my life could save me with a cab ride.”

He smiled. “I’m going to make this okay,
Baby. Ryan...the dreams…we’re going to figure this out.” He took me
under his arm, and then pressed his lips to my forehead. I let
myself melt into his body, and the anger gradually slipped away.
Backpack in hand, he gently tugged my fingers. “May I walk you to
class?”

A quick nod from me prompted a slow pace
across campus. We walked in silence, but he squeezed my hand
intermittently to encourage me along. It didn’t feel right to be
there without Ryan’s smiling face. The thought of nights at the pub
or study group only being a reminder to everyone of his absence—and
why he left—was discomforting to say the least.

The day was long, but I muddled through it.
Jared drove me to the office after classes, and dealing with Grant,
mountains of paperwork, and training took my mind off darker
thoughts.

“
We’re moving you today,”
Grant said with his bright smile and deep dimples.

“
Moving where?” I asked,
wondering what else I could possibly train for. I had been in every
department of the company, and had just begun the managerial
training. In truth, I had mastered everything Grant could do long
before my internship, and could do it better. I had excellent
rapport with the clients, and because of my hard work over the
summer, the employees had embraced me. Short from sending me
overseas, there was nothing I hadn’t seen.

“
Over there,” Grant
nodded.

I didn’t turn around. I knew where he was
gesturing. He was moving me to my father’s office, the one space in
the entire building I had avoided.

“
I don’t need to do that,
yet,” I said, trying to mask my unease.

“
Nina, you’re the CEO of
this company. It’s time you took the office.”

“
Why the hurry, Grant? Are
you looking to retire?” I asked, fidgeting with my
blouse.

“
I’m not asking you to run
the company, but you can’t gain respect from the staff filing
downstairs with the interns. Solidify your position with your
employees before you graduate and take over.”

The elevator opened and Sasha appeared,
gliding a tube of lip gloss over her too-bright lip stick. “Grant,
a package for you was sent to our office by mistake,” she said,
handing him the large, paper envelope. “I saw a shirt exactly like
that on a homeless woman this morning,” she said, staring at me
with repugnance. “There are better places to shop than the
community thrift store, Nina, really….”

I looked down and then back at her, suddenly
open to the idea of changing offices. “Sasha, glad you’re here.
Grant wants me to take my father’s office. I’ll leave you in charge
of transferring my things.”

“
You’re…?” Sasha looked to
Grant for indemnity, but he raised his eyebrows expectantly. Her
expression scrolled through several emotions ranging from shock,
anger, to defeat, then finally turned on her heels. “I’ll take care
of that right away,” she said through her teeth.

Had I slept the night before, my mood would
have soared, but I simply looked at the door of my father’s office
and sighed.

Grant patted my shoulder. “You’ve earned it,
Peanut. And if it makes you feel better…I like the shirt.”

“
Thanks,” I said, sliding
from his touch.

Carl from maintenance exited the elevator,
and passed by with a tool bag, a bucket, and a squeegee. He stopped
at my father’s office door and peered at the black block letters on
the glass.

Jack Grey

CEO

He pulled a box knife from his pocket, and
began scratching at the letters.

“
Don’t!” I yelled. Carl
froze, and I hurried to the door, smoothing out the Y of my
father’s name. “Leave it,” I said softly.

“
Yes, ma’m,” Carl said,
clearly rattled. He shot a glance to Grant, and then left the way
he came.

“
I’m sorry. I assumed you’d
want your name on your door. I thought you’d like it,” Grant
said.

“
They can both fit,” I
said. “Just put my name under his.”

“
You’re the boss,” Grant
said, his expression matching his tone.

I pressed the button to the first floor, and
then leaned against the back wall of the elevator. “Too much for
one day,” I whispered.

Above the door, the number one lit in a soft
glow, accompanied by a pleasant dinging sound. The double doors
spread open, and I squinted from the sunlight penetrating through
the glass walls of the lobby. To my surprise, Jared stood at the
revolving door.

“
It has been a lot for you
today. Let’s go home.”

I smiled, remembering my whispers in the
elevator.

He let me lean against him as we walked to
the Escalade hand in hand. The gulls seemed particularly loud,
calling to each other along the harbor. The breeze brought in the
sweet stench of fish and motor oil. The sounds and smells
surrounding Titan always reminded me of my father.

“
It’s no wonder I’m having
the dreams,” I said.

“
What dreams?” Jared
teased.

I smiled. “Coming here everyday, being
around everything that embodies what I remember about Jack. It’s
not some supernatural mystery. I’m just surrounded by him.”

Jared replied only with a thoughtful nod. He
was careful to avoid the subject during the ride home, sticking to
the weather and happenings at Brown. Once we reached the loft, he
was all to eager to start preparing dinner, so I left him to his
thoughts and ran a bath in the downstairs tub.

After lingering far too long in the cooling
water, I wrapped my towel around me and opened the door, noticing
only one plate of food. Jared was in the corner, dripping with
sweat.

“
You ate without me?” I
asked, sitting at the table.

“
I didn't want to disturb
you,” Jared said, grunting with the massive amount of weight above
him.

Jared was hiding something, and his behavior
told me it was probably something I didn't want to know.

I finished my dinner and started the
dishwasher, and then made my way up the stairs. I slipped on my
night gown and crawled into bed beside Jared. He was reading, and
put his book down long enough to kiss my forehead. I relaxed,
trying to think peaceful thoughts. Wondering if I would wake up
screaming wouldn’t help to keep the dreams away, so I forced my
mind in the direction of Jared and our Oak Tree.

“
No studying tonight?”
Jared said.

“
Test is Monday. I’m too
tired tonight.”

Jared nodded. “Mom called today. Bex’s
coming home tomorrow.”

A yawn interrupted my response, but I spoke
in spite of it. “Oh?”

“
I invited him over for
dinner. I thought I could whip up a pot roast.”

I smiled, drifting off. “Sounds good.”

Just as Jared kissed me goodnight, I fell,
dropping thousands of feet to a dusty, wooden floor. Landing face
down, my palms flat to the ground, I hesitated to move until I was
sure of my surroundings. It was dark and quiet, except for the
subtle disruption of the rustling of papers. I turned my head,
struggling to focus two shadows on the floor; two hunched figures
desperately searching.

I closed my eyes. “I’m not moving,” I said,
balling my hands into fists. “I won’t watch.”

The rustling stopped, and Gabe whispered the
warning to my father. “It’s too late.”

“
I won’t watch you die
tonight,” I said, gritting my teeth.

Jack and Gabe escaped with
their book, and I sat on my knees. The shrieking echoed through the
halls, and my heart beat faster. I stood, determined to stay,
focused on the room I was in, trying to ignore the fiendish and
frightening noises growing louder as they closed in. It was
my
dream. I would
stay.

The room blurred, and time pulled me away.
My stomach tugged, and then I was gone, violently thrust to the
roof. Gabe took my father in his arms and leaped with
transcendental strength to the site of my father’s brutal end. Once
again I refused to move, locking my knees in place. The tugging
began, but my feet remained on the ground.

Just then, countless shadows swept past,
traveling with such momentum that my hair blew forward, as if two
trains were passing at full speed on each side of me. The sounds
that came from the shadows were indescribable, so loud that my
hands automatically cupped over my ears. I screamed aloud to try to
drown out the evil that saturated the space around me.

Then it was gone.

I waited. Sounds from the street below
replaced the deafening roar of Shax and his minions, and my knees
buckled, letting my body fall to the ground.

“
Please stop,” I whispered,
knowing no one could hear.

My breathing accelerated. The air seemed too
thin, and the tugging began again. “No,” I pleaded, just as a hole
opened up beneath me. I fell, landing on the wet cement of the
alley.

A pair of familiar shoes stood before me,
and I followed the tailored suit with my eyes to the face of my
frightened father. His hands were wrapped around the book, his
knuckles white. I closed my eyes, waiting for what would come next.
The sounds of hands exploding through the door, and the audible
shredding of Jack’s clothing and skin were much more vivid when I
refused to watch. The bones of his spine snapped as demons yanked
him through the hole in the door, and into the building to his
brutal death.