Rescue Breathing (33 page)

The words come out in a rush, and by the
time I'm done, I'm sobbing again, holding on to Owen for dear
life.

He pulls me tighter into his chest as I
try to catch my breath. I feel his chest expand as he sighs
heavily, shakily. “Thank you for telling me, Olivia. I know that
was hard for you.”

I nod into his chest but say nothing, my
breath hitching as I try to stop crying. He pulls back from me
slightly, tilting my chin up to meets his gaze and then tucking a
strand of my hair behind my ear.

“
This doesn't change the way I feel about
you. I respect you so much for telling me all this.”

I dip my head, looking to the floor, a
stray tear falling from my eye.
His fingers find my chin again, and he tilts my head back
up to meet his eyes.

“
Look at me. Look me in the eyes. I am not
him, Olivia. I am what I have been to you since day one in the
first-class cabin of a late flight to Seattle.” He grins, and I
can't help but give him a shy smile back. “I am, for better or
worse, exactly what I give you. I will not betray you. I will not
lie to you. I will only give you the truth. It may not be a
pleasant truth sometimes. I've done things I'm not proud of in my
life, but it will
always
be the
truth.”

I look up at him, fresh tears in my eyes.
But these are happy tears, tears of joy. I reach up and stroke his
cheek lightly.

"He broke me, Owen. Broke everything about
me. But you fixed me. You healed me. You take care of me and you
put up with my running and you keep up with me. With everything you
do, you heal me."

I fall into his chest and sob. I feel like
every fear I've ever had is pouring out of me. It's cleansing and
exhausting.

"It's going to take a hell of a lot more
than a shitty ex to scare me off,” he promises, kissing my temple.
"I think we rescued each other. I didn't think I could feel this
way about anyone, but you changed everything for me. From the first
moment I saw you, I knew you were different. I mean, what woman
sits alone in a bar full of men?"

I manage a little smile and curl back into
his chest.
We sit there
for a while as Owen rubs my back and rocks me in a way that soothes
me completely.

After a few moments—maybe minutes or
hours—he pulls back and kisses me tenderly on the lips. “You think
you're ready to get up off this floor and go celebrate your
birthday?”

Oh God, it's my birthday. What memories
I'll have of this day. I take a deep breath and take his face in my
hands.

“
Yeah, I think I'm ready to go. Thank you,
Owen.
I
don
't know what I did to
deserve you, but I'm glad I found you.”

He kisses me back, and after standing up,
he takes my hand and pulls me to my feet and into his waiting arms.
Then he takes my face in his hands and leans down, kissing me
sweetly, but passionately.
His mouth coaxes mine open, and I feel his tongue lightly
brush mine. He tilts his head slightly to deepen the kiss, and I
melt into him.

Eventually, he pulls away, leaving me
breathless. "I have an evening planned to celebrate your birthday,
but we can change those plans and have a quiet night at home if you
want. What are you up for?"

I snuggle into his chest, not wanting to
leave the warmth and safety of his arms. I want to be distracted,
but I look down at my clothes. “I wasn't expecting to see you until
later, so I'm not really dressed to go out." I pull away and ask,
"What time were we going to go? Do I have time to swing home and
change?"

He looks at me, searching my eyes. “I had
some shopping then dinner and dancing planned. But maybe we should
just go back to your place and stay in. We can order food, maybe
watch a movie?”

This man… I will never fully understand
how I got so lucky. I have to believe it's fate that put him on my
flight. Fate that sat him next to me. Fate that had him living in
the same city.

“
All of that sounds perfect actually,” I
answer, wrapping my arms around his waist and squeezing him tight.
"Would you stay the night at my place tonight? You never have, and
it's not big or fancy, but it's mine and I would like memories of
you in it."

He smiles widely, stroking my hair. “Yeah.
I'd like that,” he says, leaning down to give me a chaste kiss. He
presses three fingers to the small of my back, guiding me toward
the door but then stops abruptly. “I almost forgot.”

He moves around the desk and picks up a
bouquet of flowers. They are exquisite, light pinks and creams,
very much what I would pick for myself. He hands them to me with a
proud smile.

“
These are for you. Happy birthday,
beautiful.”

I take the flowers from him, grinning from
ear to ear. “Thank you, Owen. These are really beautiful.” I grab
my purse, and he slips an arm around my shoulder and leads me out
the door.

As we walk out of my office, I give a
smile to Laney. I know she heard everything, so it's just easier to
nod goodbye. Thankfully, part of what's wonderful about Laney is
that she has excellent professional social skills and she doesn't
make it any more uncomfortable for me. I'm sure she'll have lots of
questions next week, but for now, she allows me my silence, and I
can't thank her enough for that.

Two hours later, dusk is falling.
We're in bed, my head on Owen's
chest as he strokes my hair. We came back to my place, not able to
sustain waiting to make love. The intensity of the emotions we both
experienced this afternoon came out in every kiss, every thrust,
every moan. It was by far the most intense experience I have ever
had with another human being, sexually or otherwise.

On our walk back to my apartment, we
talked more about Jay. Having calmed down, I felt comfortable
enough to tell him more, and Owen, God love him, just kept his
mouth shut and let me talk, squeezing my hand when it clearly got
hard for me to go on. By the time we arrived at my apartment, I had
gotten most, if not all of it, out, and the liberation I felt was
amazing.

I find him gazing out the window.
“Whatcha thinking about?” I
ask.

“
I was thinking about today. About all
you've told me.” He looks down at me, stroking my hair. He shifts
to his side so we're lying face to face, his head propped up on his
hand.

“
I have one question—one you don't have to
answer if you don't feel ready,” he says.

I look at him questioningly and adjust
myself so I'm sitting up, leaning against the headboard. “Okay.
What's your question?”

He glances past me and then returns his
gaze, eyes locking with mine. “What happened with the
baby?”

I knew this would come up eventually. If
he has even the slightest bit of interest in spending his future
with me, the demise of my first pregnancy would be relevant. Part
of me feels good that it's even an issue for him. But part of me is
terrified that this will disgust him, turn him off. I gather my
courage and recount the story.

“
I had just found out about his family, the
wife-and-kids thing,” I take a deep breath. “I was lying in my bed,
crying—sobbing really. I had cried so much that my muscles were
actually hurting. At one point, my stomach started to hurt too. I
didn't think too much of it at first, but the cramping got worse,
and I felt something wet between my legs. When I sat up, I saw
blood. I moved myself to the bathroom, and well…” I pause,
assessing his gaze.

Owen doesn
't look like he's disgusted or anything. He
reaches out his hand, brushing a lock of my hair behind my ear, and
presses a kiss to my hand reassuringly.

“
I miscarried at home. I called Simon and
Reese. They came to get me and took me to the hospital. They
couldn't determine why I had lost the baby, although they couldn't
rule out the stress of what had happened with Jay.” I close my
eyes, the memory painful.

“
Liv…” He takes my hand in his as he sits
up so he's facing me. “I am so very sorry you had to go through
that. I can only imagine how incredibly painful that was for you.
You are too sweet and too amazing to have ever had to endure that.”
He pulls me into his lap and leans himself against the headboard,
his hand stroking my hair.

“
It doesn't disgust you or turn you off?” I
ask him quietly.

He pauses in his ministrations.
“Are you kidding? Why on earth
would you ask that?”

“
Well, you know it's just so…fucked
up.”

Owen reaches over and kisses my forehead,
giving my body a reassuring squeeze. “It's a lot to take in, but
your relationship with him, or the baby, or how fucked up it ended,
doesn't change how I feel about you. I need to make sure you
understand that fully.”

I nod silently at him. He has listened to
me talk all night, and I sense that he has something to
say.

“
I do worry about Jay,” he continues. “He's
not going to be a problem, is he? Has he ever threatened
you?”

I furrow my brow. Threatened me? “No. No,
he's never done anything like that. I hadn't heard from him in
almost a year before this. It was clearly some kind of cry
for…
I
don
't know...help maybe?
Pity? You could have knocked me over with a feather when he said he
wanted me back. I truly don't think it was about getting me back as
much as it was about not being alone.”

I push a lock of his longish hair out of
his eyes. “It's interesting, because all this time, I was so
focused on my hurt and didn't really do any processing of what his
side of it was. He mentioned tonight that there was another
woman.
I
don
't know if she was
before me, after me...during me.” I pause, surprised at how painful
the thought of there having been someone after me—or worse, while
he was seeing me—is. “But regardless, it's clear that he is a man
who has issues. Issues enough to hurt his wife and children in such
a profound way.” I drop my head for a moment, trying to find a way
to say what is now plaguing me.

“
Hey, eyes on me, beautiful,” he says,
tilting my head up to look him in the eyes. “No secrets anymore,
right? Let's get us off on the right foot and be honest from here
on out, okay?”

I smile at him, having never heard more
needed words in my life. “Honesty. Yes,” I repeat, taking a deep
breath. “I need you to know that if I had ever,
ever
, known that he was married, much less had
children, I would have never been with him.”

Owen nods slightly, allowing me to go on.

“
There were red flags for sure. I was never
allowed to go to his place. He always had an excuse. We never spent
big holidays together. And there were weekends or weeks where he
would disappear for days at a time then come up with some lame work
excuse. But I never had any confirmation, and I talked myself into
believing, when I did have a concern, that I was just being silly
and melodramatic. It helped that he told me the same thing. He
often made me feel like I was out of my mind being worried about
him in that way. It did horrible things to my self-esteem, made me
dependent on him. I'm seeing now why that was.”

We look at each other for a moment, my heart
pounding as I wait to hear what he has to say.

“
Olivia, I have no doubt in my mind that
you are of a pure mind and soul. I think I know you enough now,
know your heart enough now, to know you would never put yourself in
a position to break up a marriage or a family.” He strokes my face.
“Don't spend a minute worrying about me or what I think of all
this. As far as I'm concerned, Jay is part of our past. We are
creating our future. End of story.”

Tears prick my eyes. He is just so
wonderful that it blows my mind. He gives me a lascivious grin and
leans over me slowly, hovering above me, his eyes
darkening.

“
Now, I'd like to end your birthday with a
little more lovemaking and a lot less talking.”

I take a deep breath and nod my head at him,
giving him a smile.

He rolls me gently onto my back, adjusting
the sheet between us. His hand comes behind my head, lifting me
into his kiss. He is so strong, and it makes me feel safe. I feel
him getting hard against my thigh as he moves over me until I let
my legs open to him. He settles comfortably there, fitting like he
was made to fit in that space. I let one foot glide over his calf
as he kisses down my neck, across my collarbone. Entwining my leg
around his, I draw him closer. My hands run over his strong,
muscular shoulders and then down his back.

As he starts to kiss the swell of my
breasts, I moan,
“Mmmmm,
I like that, baby.”

A groan escapes his lips as he works his
way down to my nipple.
He gently suckles my nipple while his hand fondles my other
breast. He releases one to pay attention to the other as I writhe
beneath his wicked mouth. My fingers slink into his soft hair,
tugging it while he flicks my nipples with the tip of his tongue.
His hips rock forward, teasing my entrance.

I know I'm wet, both from his current
onslaught and from our lovemaking earlier. Wet with my desire for
him, wet with the remnants of his orgasm. He slides farther down my
body, tracing all my curves with his lips and pressing kisses from
hipbone to hipbone.