Rescue Me Please (46 page)

She stared at him, her heart hammering in her chest.  Why was he being so cruel?

“How far do you believe you would have gotten?”
  He eyed her steadily.

She blanched at his truth.

“Do you know all of
the Devil’s
identities?”

She nodded, unable to speak. 
She tried to swallow, but the saliva
stuck in her throat.  Her
nails bit
into her palms.

Cold, cold eyes, like blue ice met hers.  “Do you realize the power their names alone wield?”
 

She nodded again.  “I-I…”
  She fidgeted under the coldness of his stare and then some of her bravado slipped. 

“You would have disappeared just as
all the
others have.”  He loomed over her as if to intimidate.  “Would there have been someone to look for you?  Someone who cared?  Someone who would have even noticed you were gone now that your parents have died?”
  He gazed at her assessing.

She tried to swallow.  “No.”  She felt her lip
s
quiver.

“Wrong.”  He didn’t yell; his voice stayed level
,
but she could see
anger burned in his blue depths
and she shrunk back
. 
Her mouth dropped open; she cho
ked as emotion overwhelmed her.

“I care.
”  He got into her face and gripped her shoulders.
 
“
My aunt cares.
”  Anger flashed hot in his gaze.
 
“
Tillie cares.”
 

“I didn’t think…”
she said quietly
, her chin quivered as she fought the tide of emotion his heartfelt words wrought
. 
She knew that the minute she was safely ensconced in
Rosebriar’s
warmth, she had slowly been coming back to life.

“You matter to me, goddamn it.” 
His lips tightened. 
“How dare you make me feel
the stirrings of
happiness and then
just
pull the rug right from
underneath me with only a note.
”

A sob welled from deep inside her and wrenched out past her constricted throat as she
hear
d
the pain in his voice.  “I didn’t have a choice,” she said plainly,
her voice deceptively calm
even though she was shaking.

“Everyone has a choice, Persephone,” Parker retorted with a curse
, unable to control the frustration in his voice
.  “You.  Had.  Me.”  He punctuated each word with a jab at his chest.  “You could have trusted
me.
”  He cleared the gravel from his throat.
  “I gave you free reign of everything I have.  I gave you myself.  I trusted you wi
th all that I hold most dear
.”

Fear slammed through her.  “I do trust you,” she managed, her plaintive voice pulled at his heart.

“You have
one
hell of a
way o
f showing it,” he muttere
d.  His eyes searched her eyes and she dropped her gaze as his words
tore through her.
  She closed her eyes
unable to look at him any longer.  Knowing that he was right and she had been a fool.

“Then why didn’t you tell me?”  The look in Persephone’s eyes
before she closed them
nearly choked him
.
  “Why didn’t you trust me enough to share your pain?  To help you heal?”

“I was afraid.” 
She swallowed hard as a s
ingle tear spilled down her cheek.
  She opened her eyes and took a deep breath as she dro
wned in his penetrating blue gaze
.

Parker dragged a hand over his hair, looked away and then back at her, shaking his head. 
“Have I ever given you a reason to fear me?”

“I’m not afraid of you.
”
S
he shook her head as she
clarified
.  “I was afraid of what you would think of me if you knew the truth,” she said, voice tight and barely audible.  Her heart lodged in her t
hroat waiting for his rejection, his repugnance, his disgust. 

“How can I hold you responsible for something that someone did to you?”  His voice liberally laced with disbelief, his jaw locked.  “You bear no fault in their actions.”  His face creased into lines of concern.
  “Do you think me so callo
us?”

”You can’t possibly want me now.”  She hung her head in shame, her voice thickened with unshed
tears, with the horror of the terrors
she had been subjected to.  “I cannot even voice aloud all that was done
to me
,” she choked, backing from him in retreat.

With one hand he
reached out and stroked her cheek
with his fingertips
, until she closed her eyes and leaned her face into his hand.
  “I love you, Persephone.”  With the other he found her
fist unclenching her fingers
one by one until her hand lay
flat in his
and she opened her eyes.  His gaze me
t
hers and she thought she saw a glint of tears in his eyes, but none fell. 

“I love Tillie.  From the moment I saw you, deep inside my heart I knew that there was something special about you.  Your daughter will be mine and neither you nor she will ever want for anything again.  You will never have to face fear alone again.  If life ever gets too much for you, I’ll be by your side.
”  He tapped his chest with his open palm.
 
“
I’ll be your strength.”

“I
’m afraid that I won’t be able to
forget.
”
She had to force the words past the constriction in her throat.
  “That there will always be a shadow of fear lurking deep within.”

“No one,
and
me
most of all
,
expect
s
you to just
forget
,” he countered incredulously.  “I’m just asking you to let me help you heal.  Let me love you, Persephone.”
  He swallowed.
  “Let me make the pain go away.
”
H
is voice broke his eyes awash with emotion.

“I am
not fit to be any man’s wife.”  Her eyes filled, and she shook her head helplessly.
  She struggle
d
t
o meet his eyes, but when she did, he was
looking at her
disbelievingly
.
 

“Well, I do
no
t want a mistress.”  His gaze landed on her, straight and level. 

Persephone’s heart slammed against her ribs.  She hoped her mouth did not gape open at his words
.
S
he could barely see through the waterfall of tears that fell down her face.

“Our lives are ours to orchestrate.  To the
ton
Tillie will be mine and no one would dare to contradict my word.”
  His eyes grew hard and determined. 

“You will be ostracized.” 
She sounded
skeptical
.

“I love you, Persephone.” 
He turned back around and pressed close to her, d
ucking his head to look into face.
  “
I do not make promises lightly. 
I need to know what you see in my eyes.”

Persephone
studied him for a long time
, the certainty stole her breath away, and her blood sang with the realization
.  “Love?
”

“Do you love me, Persephone
?”  His voice was low and shaking
as he stared at her, his chest rose and fell.
  “Can you say the words,
Persephone?
”
he asked softy.
“Can
you trust me enough to tell me you
return my
love?”

She didn’t hesitate, but her legs were shaking.  “Yes
, I trust you
.”
  Wetness spilled down her cheek
s
.

His big hands cupped her face
, catching her tears with his thumbs
. “What did
you expect me
to
do without you and Tillie?”  He wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her against his chest
holding her gaze with his.
  “Did you think I would just forget that we
ha
d ever met?  Just go on with life
as if our paths had never crossed
.”  His agita
tion was plain.  “It is not right
that you should treat me so shabbily.”

“You will survive, just as we will,” she said, pulling out of his arms, stepping away from his touch.  Leaving enough room so he couldn’t touch her, confuse her.

“You’re wrong, Persephone.”  He gave her a speaking look, swallowing thickly.  She watched the Adam’
s apple bob in his throat as
he struggled to speak.  “
I am making you a solemn promise. 
If you run
,
I
will
run after you.”

Swallowing hard, she stared directly into his glinting blue eyes, his determination evident.
His strength of
character sent a shiver over
her skin.
  She bit her lip to stifle her cry of pain
as she thought of a future without him
.

“I took you for a fighter,
” he said in a low voice.
“A
re you not willing to fight for
me?
  For us?”  He lifted his head, his gaze roaming over her features, landing on her eyes still filled with sadness
and drenched with
tears
.  “We can stay at
Rosebriar
forever and never see those bastards again.”

“You would do that for me?” 
She lowered herself to the chair in front of the fire
, leaned her elbows on her knees,
and pressed her fists into her eyes.  Could she?  Could she fight?  Could she push back her awful experiences and learn to live happily again.  She had made a good start at his house
.  S
he looked up
. 

“Even still you doubt my word?” 

He made it sound so easy.  So simple. 
She shot him a pleading look.

“If you can
not tell me that you love me.
”
  His gaze devoured her from
the top of her head to the tip
s
of her half-boots
pee
ping out from beneath her skirt
.
 
“Then tell me that you do
no
t.” 
He stood with his arms crossed over his chest and waited. 
The quickening crackl
e of the fire
was
loud in the silence accompanied by the regular tick of the mantle clock
.

“I’m afraid to hope.” 
She eyed him warily, but the ache in her chest eased just a bit.
  She still had a hard time believing that she had anything of value to offer Parker, she was too damaged.  But if she knew anything at all, she knew one
thing;
he made her feel whole again. 

Parker knelt down in front of Persephone’s chair and squeezed her hand before he lifted it to his lips.  A tremor shook
her body and she sighed softly when he
leaned forward, until they were separated by
only
a fraction of air
and Persephone really looked.  Gone was his usual neat appearance.  Gone was his crisply tied cravat, his dust free jacket, and in its place was
a look of
apprehension mingled with
desire
.

“
Let us have a discussion
.”  His shrewd gaze took in the wildly beating pulse at the base of her throat
one eyebrow lifted
up
.
  “I will hear your arguments against and you will hear mine for.” 

She
stiffened, cold fear rising inside her, but she
couldn’t ignore the quivers that appeared in her belly at the command of his voice.  Why?  Why him?  And why did his masterful control not frighten her like the rest? 
She didn’t need to think about the a
nswer.  She knew immediately, b
ecause he had no desire to harm her physically.  He wasn’t seeking pleasure from her pain.  He didn’t need her compliance to feel secure in his manhood.