Authors: Ruth J. Hartman
Tags: #london, #sweet romance, #clean romance, #Romance, #Regency
"Oh no!"
"It was terrible. His wife was never the same after that. She took her two small children and went to live with her parents in the next village."
"When you heard of this and thought of your husband…"
Maryann nodded. "I realized life doesn't go on forever. None of us knows how many days the Lord will allow us. That day, I decided to forgive my husband. And do you know, he never once strayed again."
Sasha tilted her head. "And then…"
"And then he and my daughter died years later, both of them too young to leave this earth. I often think what my life would have been like had I not forgiven him and had the chance to spend those years with my beautiful girl."
"You have no regret of your forgiveness?" Sasha swallowed, anxious to hear Maryann's reply.
"None."
Sasha sighed. "Thank you for telling me, Maryann."
Maryann glanced down. "I hope I haven't overstepped."
"No. Never. We're family, you and I." Sasha closed her eyes, her stomach roiling again.
"Are you feeling poorly still?"
She nodded.
Maryann stood. "Let's get you under the covers and perhaps you can rest." She paused, staring down at Sasha. "I wonder if—?"
Sasha scooted down on the bed and pulled the covers around her shoulders "What?"
"It might be possible you are… with child." She raised her eyebrows as she said the last word.
Sasha gasped. The thought hadn't entered her mind, at least not since the time she'd spent in the garden with Douglas. But that had been before the betrayal. When everything had seemed… perfect… Could it be true? Her? A child? Sudden warmth entered her body and heart. She couldn't wait to tell Garrett… Wait. Shamed now by her treatment of him, she rolled on her side. As the click of the bedroom door signaled Maryann's departure, Sasha cried into her pillow.
****
Garrett reached the top of the stairs. A person stepped out of Sasha's room, back turned. A man? What was going on? Fists clenched, Garrett stormed down the hall. Anger pulsed about his head and neck. How dare some man—
The man in question turned. Garrett's rage changed to worry. "Dr. Fremont? What are you doing in my wife's room? Is she ill?"
Oh no
. Now the other man would know the newlyweds weren't on good terms at present. Because wouldn't a husband normally know about his own wife's health? Of course. If the couple were on good terms. Unclenching his fists and crossing his arms, he waited.
"Your grace." Dr. Fremont eyed the closed door and then Garrett again. "I've come at your wife's request."
Garrett pointed at the door as he tapped his foot. "I can see that for myself, since you're coming out of
her
room."
The doctor grasped his medical case tightly in both hands, his knuckles white. Was he frightened of something? Was the news about Sasha so negative? "I'm afraid I'm not at liberty to say anything more, your grace."
"What do you mean? She's
my
wife."
How dare he speak to me in such a fashion!
The doctor's face reddened. "Pardon, your grace, but her grace explicitly instructed me not to tell you of—"
"Of what? What's going on?" Garrett's heart pounded in his ears. His fingers itched to grab the man's coat front.
"You're putting me in an extremely delicate position, your grace ."
"That's correct. You address me as 'your grace,' yet you refuse to tell me what's happening in my own home! And I don't care what kind of position I'm putting you in."
Dr. Fremont stepped closer, lowering his voice. His hands, still clutching the medical bag, now trembled. "Please understand, it's my patient's wish you not be told at this time."
Garrett was afraid he might lose his mind. What was going on with his wife? Was she ill? Dying? He had a right to know! He stepped closer to the doctor until they were toe to toe, his true wish being to tear the other man limb from limb. He took a deep breath, trying to control his erratic breathing. "Dr. Fremont, I'm asking
nicely
. And believe me, acting in just such a manner is a stranger to a duke. Now for the last time, why are you here to visit my wife?"
Dr. Fremont's forehead was slick with sweat. He gulped down air as his breathing came in quick bursts. "I-I'm afraid I just can't answer your question, your grace." He widened his eyes and then pivoted and fled, bolting down the steps, almost stumbling in his haste.
Garrett dropped his lower jaw. The man had run away! A respected medical professional had skittered down the steps like a frightened rabbit being pursued by a hungry fox. What in the world was going on? He would find out.
He would!
Stepping closer to the door, he leaned forward, listening for any signs of distress in his wife's room. Would she be crying? Had the doctor given her some terrible news? He should be with her to comfort her.
He reached for the doorknob, turned it, wincing when it squeaked. Slowly, he edged it open. Sasha lay in bed, her hair spread across her pillow, several dark strands curling at the ends. With her eyes closed, she seemed quite serene. Maryann sat in the chair next to the bed, watching her mistresses' face. Was she checking for signs of illness?
Garrett stepped into the room and sighed, taking a moment to admire his beautiful wife before he spoke. How he missed her and longed to hold her. Every part of the last few days had been empty and meaningless without her by his side. Nothing seemed right. He
even
missed their silly conversations about Douglas the cat.
What if something terrible had happened to her? What had the physician discovered? Garrett swallowed hard. This wasn't how it was supposed to be between a husband and wife. Not how it should be between
them
.
Taking another step closer, he paused when Sasha opened her eyes and spotted him, a frown on her face. But he'd come here for a reason, and he wouldn't leave until he'd had his say. "Darling, I just observed Dr. Fremont in the hallway. I'm frantic with worry. Are you ill?" He decided not to admit that he'd tried to get the information from the physician himself, nearly threatening the man with bodily harm and causing him to run away.
Sasha sat up, moving a wayward strand of hair from her cheek. Her face was flushed a pretty pink hue. "It's nothing to concern yourself with, Garrett."
"How can you say such a thing?"
"I'm fine. Please… go." Her words came out as a whisper. Not as strong as they'd been when she'd previously told him to leave her alone.
Garrett studied her face. Her eyes appeared to be on the verge of tears. Surely she'd not gotten positive news from the physician, then?
He took another tentative step toward her. "Please, I must know what he said." He grasped the end bedpost and waited, willing her to tell him what ailed her.
Sasha sighed. Glancing at her maid, she gave her a slight smile. "Thank you, Maryann. I'll be fine."
Maryann leaned toward Sasha. "Are you certain, your grace?"
Sasha nodded.
Maryann stood, smoothed the wrinkles from her day dress, and edged past Garrett. Once the door closed, he hurried to sit in the vacated chair.
He reached for his wife's hand. "Please, Sasha, are you well? Please tell me nothing is amiss."
"I assure you, I'm fine."
"Can't you tell me the reason for Dr. Fremont paying you a visit?"
"Garrett, I realize you could demand I tell you and I would have to. Please… don't. I… I'm not ready to…" She angled her head away, brushing back a tear. Would she come to trust him once more? His heart warmed with the tiny bit of hope.
"I won't demand it of you, Sasha, even though I have every right to do so. I love you, darling. Please tell me…"
She glanced at him, giving a slight smile. "I've never stopped loving you, Garrett. I… couldn't. But… I need more time."
He pressed his hands to his thighs as he leaned forward. "Time for what?"
"I'm still so hurt about you not telling me the truth." She fingered the coverlet draped across her lap.
"I've apologized time and time again, Sasha. I'm not sure what more I can do?"
She shrugged. "It seems as if you don't truly understand how important Samuel was to me. How much it hurt me when you kept such important information from me, his only living relative."
Garrett spread his hands. "I know it was wrong of me not to tell you. And I know I went about my apology in the wrong light when I had all of those gifts delivered. I guess I'm still learning what it means to be a husband. But know this, Sasha. I love you more than life itself, and I will love you thus, until I die."
He rose, pivoted toward the door, and left the room.
Chapter Seventeen
Sasha rose with the birds the next morning. Doubt plagued her about sending Garrett away again. When he'd come into her room looking so forlorn, her heart had actually ached for him. Would she be able to completely forgive him? Now she knew it was what she truly wanted. His saddened countenance and Maryann's own tale of heartache and forgiveness convinced Sasha to search her heart once more. How must he have felt when she'd refused to talk to him? Or tell him why the physician had visited her room? She'd hurt him just as she'd been hurt. Shame washed over her.
But wanting to forgive and being able to weren't always the same thing. If only there were some way she could trust that he understood her love of her brother. With Garrett having lost a sister, it stood to reason he would have a notion of what it meant. Could they reach an understanding and regain what they'd lost? Having been without him even such a short time, she didn't want to waste another moment apart.
Rising from the bed, she was relieved the queasiness in her stomach now seemed much better. She'd been able to eat without a problem, actually enjoying her meal for the first time in days. Her hunger was such she couldn't get enough to eat. Now, of course, it all made sense. The upset stomach, the tiredness, and possibly even her moodiness toward her husband. When she told him her news, would he understand? Forgive
her?
Thinking of how she'd spoken to him, how she'd treated him as not only her husband but as a duke, she was ashamed. Because a wonderful man had saved her life, loved her and married her, and she'd treated him as low as the mud caught beneath her fingernails when she'd been trapped in the well.
Maryann helped her into her favorite pink dress. After lacing her boots, Sasha was ready to find her husband. Praying with everything in her, she hoped Garrett would accept her explanation of why she'd been so contrary with him. And that he'd be excited about her news. Their news.
Sasha donned her shawl and hat, taking her time down the main stairway. Her ankle had healed, but she was still careful. Even more so now, with the precious bundle she carried within.
Maryann had told Sasha that Garrett was last outside by the stables. Determined to find him, Sasha walked toward the front door. As she reached for the doorknob, something brushed against her skirt.
She glanced down, much as Garrett had done the first time in the garden. "Hello, Douglas." Picking up the cat, she nuzzled his head under her chin. "Would you like to help me find Garrett? You could help me tell him the news. I may need your sweet purr to help convince him that I'm sorry for the way I treated him."
Holding Douglas close to her chest, she went outside. Glancing to the left, she grinned.
The swing
. Memories washed over her, of her and Garrett drinking lemonade, and of Lord Phillbush paying a visit and subsequently rolling across the lawn. Sasha lowered her head. "Thanks again, Douglas for your help in the matter that day. It's as if you knew the bumbling man was sensitive to you, and it was the very reason you came."
Douglas rumbled out a purr, kneading Sasha's arm with his paws.
She carried him down the steps and then set him on the ground when he squirmed in her arms. She headed toward the stables, and Douglas trotted after her. Sasha watched her step, avoiding mud puddles on the path after last night's rain. The air smelled of wet grass and earthworms, which stirred a memory of working in the garden with her mother those long years ago.
Pressing her hand to her belly, Sasha lifted the corners of her mouth into a smile. In several months, she too would be a mother. It was her heart's desire to make the babe know he was loved, as her own mother had done for her. She laughed when Douglas pounced on a bug sitting at the foot of a fence post. "You and your fascination with beetles, Douglas. Perhaps you'll also enjoy entertaining my baby someday with your antics."
Her baby. Their baby. Not wanting to waste another moment to tell Garrett the news, she hastened her steps toward the stables. Nearly out of breath by the time she reached them, she was disappointed when she couldn't find him.
A pounding noise from around the corner of the nearest stable caught her attention. One of the stablemen was making adjustments to a horseshoe. He stopped and bowed his head at a slight angle.