Resisting Perfection (The Perfection Series Book 2) (10 page)

“Figures. You’re so lame, Piper.”

We both laugh and chat until I have everything in my bag I need. It’s been such a long time since we’ve been completely content with each other’s company. I’ve spent so much time telling her what she should be doing rather than listening to her tell me that she is happy just the way she is that we’ve missed out on a lot of sister time. That needs to change.

Before I change my mind, I wrap my arms around her and hug her as tight as I possibly can. I can’t see them but I can feel her tears and mine are flowing right along with them. We were so close before our mother passed away. When she died we were devastated. We didn’t know how to handle our own grief let alone someone else’s. We fought a lot and that’s when we began drifting apart.

Even though a few years separated us, we were inseparable. Phoebe cheered me on in sports and I held her hair when she would sneak in from parties. We kept each other’s secrets, although admittedly, Phoebe had way more than me.

“I miss my sister,” she whispers.

I pull away from her. “I’ve been preaching to you and Shane about being a better person but I’ve no room to speak. When I go home, I’m going to work on finding me and when I return, we all will be different. We will be close like we used to be.” She nods, understanding what I can’t say. “I mean it, Phoebe! Things will be better, ok?”

“Ok. Now go and find that beautiful Piper I know is in there. Everyone will be waiting when you return.”

I hope that everyone includes Fenton. We’ve talked a lot about Shane, her and I but we haven’t mentioned him. As much as I am excited for everyone to get their lives back on track, I NEED him to have his together and to stay alive. If he isn’t here when I return, I am not sure any amount of soul searching will help.

If you had asked me this morning if I’d be making the two hour journey home, I would have laughed. Of course, if I had known what was going to happen today, I wouldn’t have believed it either. There is a reason I haven’t been home. I have a healthy mixture of dread and excitement forming as I don’t know what to expect from my father. He will be happy I’m home but it isn’t going to take a lot of guessing for him to figure out why I am home.

“Are you telling Daddy you’re coming?”

“No, I think I want to surprise him.”

“I’m sure he’ll like that. Be careful and text me when you get there.”

“I will. Please don’t tell anyone where I am. I need some peace and quiet for a while.”

“What am I supposed to tell playboy when he comes over and plays jealous boyfriend?”

“Like I said, I don’t think you’ll have to worry about him. But if he happens to come over, just tell him you don’t know where I am.” She immediately begins shaking her head before I finish my sentence.

“No, that won’t work. He is a crazy son of a bitch, so if he comes over, I’m telling him.”

“Its fine, I’ll deal with him. But again, I don’t think he will. Ok, I’m out of here.”

I hug my sister and grab my bag feeling a bit anxious for the drive ahead of me. I know this is the right decision but why do I feel like I’m running from life? I’ve always been the type to handle life head on. I kind of feel like I’m handling this situation like Phoebe. Nonetheless, I know this is what I need.

Fenton

I sit in the parking lot, eyeing the large warehouse on the west side of town, wondering how I got back here. Its filth and raw abandon makes me sick to my stomach. The building still looks relatively the same, just a few more windows boarded up and the landscaping has gone down-hill. However the sickness I always felt in the pit of my stomach when I sat in this parking lot is still there. The disgust I feel for this business is still there. I’m sure the filth that lives inside is still the same. I didn’t want to be in this place again, I vowed the last time I walked out of that building, it would be my last. Yet nine years later, here I am.

I want to wave to the fuckers who are no doubt laughing at me from behind their security cameras. He told me I would be back and I spit in his face. Now the joke is on me. My anger rises as I contemplate leaving but I know this is where I need to be. I know I need to speak with him, I was just hoping for a way around it. I guess he put an end to that when he had my bar shot to pieces.

I realize the longer I sit here the angrier I get and that isn’t what I want. I need to be cool and collected. I take out my phone and look at the photo of Piper and Andy sitting on my dock. They look so serene and both are so beautiful. They are what matters. They are why I’m sitting in this lot. If it weren’t for them, I wouldn’t care what happened to anything. I would walk in this place and shoot that son of a bitch right between the eyes. But that can’t happen. I need to gather whatever information I can and move on.

When I have procrastinated long enough, I get out and head toward the building. I feel physically ill sitting here. I knew who was responsible for Gibson’s death the moment I saw him lying in a pool of his own blood. The only question I have is why. Why couldn’t they work something out? Why did he have to kill him? Those are only questions he can answer, so I might as well push down my pride and get on with it. The sooner I go in the sooner I am out.

My stomach knots tighter and tighter the closer I get. I hesitate before finally making it to the door, almost turning to leave all together. Then I remind myself that people are depending on me to keep them safe. So, I take a deep breath and pull myself together, for their sake. 

Knock, knock…fist pound…knock, knock.

Within a minute the peep window is slid over.

“I’m here to ski,” I say before they open the door. The sound of deep laughter fills the small foyer as I enter which sickens me even more when I recognize his sound.

“Fenton motherfucking James! What are you doing here, brother? What’s it been? Five-six years?”

“Nine.”

“Damn, that long?”

“Yeah, Decker, that long. Where is he?”

“Fent, you know how this works. You are only allowed to see him if he wants to see you.”

“Did you tell him I was here?”

“Brother, have you forgotten everything? Do you need me to refresh your memory on the life?”

“No, I’m well aware how it works. I don’t care about the rules as I am not a lifer anymore. I’m going to see him whether he likes it or not.”

Decker stands and crosses his arms over his chest. He flips back the side of his vest, making sure the Glock 41 is visible. I’m instantly drawn to its beauty and its stealth. Exhilaration courses through my body while my fingers begin to tingle. They remember sliding in the groves of the handle and the power it exudes. The power it brings you, or the power it makes you believe you hold while in its presence.

There was a time when my life depended on who drew their gun first. I’m very thankful I’m standing here today but only the Lord knows why.

“Mhm, still got it, I see.” His voice draws my attention back to him. “You say you’re not a lifer but only someone who has killing in their blood is turned on by the mere sight of a beautiful piece of weaponry. As they say, you can take the man away from the killings but you can’t take the killer out of the man.” He pulls the gun from his side holster and kisses the tip of the barrel. “Do you remember the last time we were on a hit together? Do you remember the adrenaline pumping as we were chasing…”

“Stop! Just fucking stop, Decker. You know what I remember? The sick fucking feeling I had after each job. The loss of sleep because I couldn’t live with myself for the lives we were taking. I hated every minute of that shit, Decker, you know I did.”

“I don’t remember you complaining about the sweet little piece of ass you had with you all the time. I don’t remember you or her complaining about all the drugs you got for free. What was her name? Cami or Cheryl?”

Rage soars through me when he mentions her and I move to within inches of his face. “You motherfucker, don’t you speak about her that way!”

“Or what, Fent? You’ll kill me? See what I mean? No matter how hard you try, you will always have the killer instinct. Always. After the first kill, it becomes a part of you and nothing will ever satisfy your need like that of a hunt and kill. Trust me, brother.”  

I forgot how big this fucker is and how much he loves the game. He is a former
Marine gone rogue and he represents a whole different level of crazy. He doesn’t look much different as it’s very evident he still works out every day. He still wears the same army pants and boots with his white t-shirt. The only difference I can tell is his hair has a little gray threaded through it and his gray eyes have a few more wrinkles around them. Other than that, he still towers over me in height and attitude.

His love for the hunt grew on a daily basis and everyone knew he had a side job as a hired assassin. The one or two jobs we had a month never satisfied his hunger, his need for a kill. At the time I was happy he was my partner as I knew he would not let anything happen to me. Thinking back on it now, I have no idea how either of us stayed alive. Some of the ideas we put to work would make a crazy person cringe. Add in the drugs and you have yourself a recipe for disaster.

A sly smile spreads on his face when he catches me salivating at the sight of the damn gun. I never want to kill again but there is some truth to his words. The adrenaline junkie in me misses hunting the prey but the average person in me knows that’s not a life that is lead for very long. Some people, such as Decker, make it a life and are able to keep themselves alive. Most people are not as lucky.

“I’m going up now,” I inform him. As dangerous as he is, I can’t make a move without informing him first. I value my life too much to lose it over a simple mistake.

“You know I can’t let you do that. I love you brother but my loyalty lies with the big man.”

I knew this wasn’t going to be easy. Even though this life is crazy dangerous, they would give their life for the man who doesn’t give two shits about them. I have watched too many times how each member of this club is utterly faithful to Geno and in the next moment he will slit their throat. Everyone knows that’s how this life is lived when they enter, so I guess you can’t blame Geno.

I make an attempt to push past him but he brings his gun up to my chest, stopping me right in my tracks.

“Don’t make me do it, James.” His voice is steely smooth and it makes the hair on the back of my neck stand. I’m big but he towers over me in height and in weight. Working with him for years tells me he will not think twice about shooting me. So, I slowly put my hands in the air.

“All I want to do it talk to him. He has put my entire family in danger and I want to know why.”

“Let him go, Decker.” Both our heads turn when we hear Geno’s smooth voice behind us.  The familiar glare, the two giant thugs that protect him no matter where he goes, the glass of bourbon that is no doubt in his hand, all make me sick to my stomach. So much so, I almost double over with the pain.

“Fenton, I am interested to hear why you feel this way. Follow me up to my office,” he says, before turning and making his way back up the stairs. I begin to follow him when Decker taps my arm.

“Don’t make me use this, James.” He kisses the top of the gun, again adding, “Because I haven’t got to use her in a while and it gives me a fucking hard on just thinking about it.”

“I forgot how much of a sick fucker you are,” I say, pushing past him. Before I make it to the stairs, I hear that fucker laughing behind me. As big as I want to act in front of him, I know better than to tempt him. I have watched him slit a man’s throat for no other reason than he looked at him the wrong way. I have no doubt he would shoot me if I give him the opportunity.

I kick the trash out of my way before I can step on the bottom step. I don’t know what’s going on around here but it sure has gone to hell. At least when I was here, we had bar bitches to clean the place up. In fact, I don’t even see anyone else here. I wonder if Geno has downsized and if so, why. I guess I am getting ready to find out.

“Come in, son,” he calls from behind the half closed door, before I can knock.

“Please don’t call me son. We aren’t on that level anymore.” His eyebrows raise and I know I am toeing the line.

“Have a seat, let’s talk.”

I’m a little more nervous than I anticipated. I won’t let him see that but I need to get this shit over so I can get out of here.

“Why did you kill Gibson?”

“Is that anyway to start a conversation? Why don’t we start with how you’ve been the last nine years? I’ve missed you, my boy.” He sits straight up and steeples his fingers under his chin.

I was sixteen years old when I met Geno. I was lost and had no idea how to deal with the grief of losing my brother. I was working at the local grocery store the summer after Danny died and hated it. Frank made me work but I hated every minute of it. I usually gathered the carts but we were busy one Saturday so they pulled me to bag groceries. I wasn’t very nice so they typically kept me away from the customers. My boss pulled me aside one day after I had a heated exchange with one of the customers. I was pissed the rest of the day and Geno saw that. I still have no idea why he was at the store that day. He wasn’t buying anything; he walked in and went straight to the office. He walked up to me when I was on break and told me if I wanted to get away from this shithole to come and see him. He gave me his card and walked out. I kept his card but had no intentions on calling him.

As things got worse at home, I needed somewhere to run. I needed somewhere to go when Frank was being unbearable. So, one day I thought I’d give it a try. He brought me in and treated me like I was his son. Decker is ten years older than me so he stuck me with him. I knew next to nothing about drugs or guns and Geno knew that. So he stuck me with the one person that would keep me alive and keep me enthralled enough that I wouldn’t want to leave. One afternoon, he gave me a line of blow and it turned my world upside down. I thought I was invincible. I couldn’t be stopped. I had a gun, an endless supply of drugs and a crazy partner who knew no bounds. I was living the dream. All I needed was a woman and I found her one night outside the pool hall. I asked Geno if Camille could stay with me at the compound. I promised to take care of her. He agreed but made her work around the house for her keep. She was happy to do it as long as it got her off the street.  Frank finally kicked me out so I was living at the compound. It was too good to be true. You know happens when you begin to feel that way. You fall. And did I ever fall. I’ll never forget. I have nightmares to remind me.

“I’m not interested in talking about my life. The only thing I will say is, you took advantage of me. You saw a kid who was dealt a shit hand and didn’t know better. I fucking hate you for it. Nothing you can say will make me think otherwise.

“I’m just beginning to get my life together and you’re trying to bring me down again. What the fuck, Geno? I did your dirty work and paid my time for something I did because of you. I’m not here because I want to come back. I want to know what you want and why you are interfering in my life again.”

“Why do you think I had anything to do with Gibson’s death?”

“Didn’t you?”

“I did not and I don’t appreciate the accusations. I assure you, if it were one of my guys who took him out, it would have been a little cleaner.”

I agree it was very messy. In fact, while I was talking to the police, I almost mentioned how messy it was. But I thought better of it. I was trying to avoid incriminating myself but the thought that I could have done a better job definitely crossed my mind.

“You know this wasn’t my boys, Fenton.”

“FUCK! Geno, I’m finished with this life. I’ve tried so fucking hard to stay on the right side of the law. I can’t go back, I can’t. I have to try to find out who is pinning this on me. I will promise you one thing. I will fucking kill you if you are lying to me and Decker won’t be able to stop me.”

“Those are big words, son. I sure hope you can back them up.”

“Don’t make me have to.”

I have to get out of here. I have kept myself composed but it won’t last. I can see him saying the wrong thing and me having to do something I vowed to never do again. I’m no longer a killer but I will protect what’s mine.

“Be careful, Fenton. You may not like the answers you seek,” he says, stopping me just before I leave the office. I ponder a moment what he could be talking about but then decide I’m finished with secrets and deceit. Whatever happens, happens. I’ve been down worse roads than this and have made it. I have faith that will happen again because this time, I actually have something to live for.