Resplendent (27 page)
“Sure.” She handed me one and I took it in my hand, embarrassed to realize they were shaking. I glanced at the picture for a second and ran my thumb over his head. I could say
his
or
him
now and it’d be okay. I thought I was floating.
“Here are some napkins so you can clean up.” Amanda passed Carmin paper towels and got up, also handing her the rest of the pictures. “I’ll give you two a few minutes. When you’re ready just come outside to the receptionist.”
We said our thanks and she closed the door behind her.
“I thought you were twenty weeks?” I looked down at the picture again and wondered if it could fit in my wallet so I could show him off to my friends. “That’s what I have on my calendar anyway.” I decided it’d be best to just place it on my fridge.
“You have me marked down on your calendar?” Carmin asked, and I looked at her as she pulled the shirt over her belly. I held her hand to help her up.
“Of course I do,” I said simply. What’s wrong with that? It’s not like it’s her dentist appointments.
“That’s sweet,” she stood up and teetered on the step stool that was placed under the doctor’s bed. I walked in front of her to make sure she didn’t fall flat on her belly.
With my stomach pressed against her own, she inhaled a sharp breath.
“You okay?” I asked, suddenly alarmed. Had something happened?
“I think we should call the baby Julio…” She looked up at me, sheepishly gauging my reaction. “You know, after your father.”
I was speechless. Is that what she really wanted? I was going to suggest it as a middle name, but the idea of it being his first name was unreal. My father would have loved that. I was consumed with joy.
“I think that’s pretty awesome,” I replied and took a step back to give her room. Her cheeks warmed, and I felt myself heat up a little on the inside at the thought of what that meant to me. My son was going to have my father’s name and that was a pretty big deal.
Carmin finished confirming some things over her insurance and we left the office together. We were silent as I drove her back to her house.
A nagging tug kept taking me back to Peach. I had a void that she used to fill up just by hearing her voice. I wished I could see her again and tell her all the things I should have told her ages ago. I would have made sure she felt important and
wanted
. If only I’d left with her that night at the club instead of staying for another fucking drink. But then I glanced at Carmin’s hand over her stomach and remembered I wouldn’t have a son. All choices lead to consequences. I was torn in two.
When I pulled up to her house, I turned off the engine and got out. Carmin’s eyebrow raised as she jingled her keys. “You’re coming inside?”
I nodded. I wanted to talk to her. She didn’t ask why, and I didn’t say until we were both inside. The appointment was made early afternoon, so I knew Lola wasn’t home.
“I was thinking since I have the extra room in my house,” I said and turned my body to face her. I ran my fingers through my hair and she tilted her head waiting for me to finish. “I want to clean out Victoria’s old room and make it Julio’s room.”
I was hoping this wouldn’t be a problem, but the smile on her face told me I had nothing to worry about. Then, to confirm her reaction, she leaned on her tippy toes and kissed me lightly. I was caught completely off guard and stepped back. What? Was it just a spur of emotion from seeing my flesh and blood? Did she think
she
was moving in too?
I placed my hand on my lips and stared at her. It had been a long time by my standards since someone kissed me. Her glossy lips parted in seduction. We looked at each other in silence. I took a step forward and she bit her lip. My eyes zeroed in on those lips. They were nicely shaped, full on the bottom. What would I feel if I kissed her back? What if Peach
never
answered me? What if she just moved to another state? What if I never found her? I placed my hand behind Carmin’s head and pulled her toward me.
I wanted a real kiss. I wanted to feel something again. Her lips were smooth against mine, and we found a natural rhythm quickly. She grabbed my shirt and pulled me closer. Her stomach rubbed against me and I placed my hand gently on her swollen belly. Touching my son;
our son
. I pulled her shirt up to feel her bare skin. It was warm and my fingers teased, hoping Julio could feel my love. She reached under my shirt and I pulled back to take it off. My eyes remained closed. I kissed her again, this time with more urgency. Her tongue met mine; she tasted of chocolate. I thought about Savannah’s dark hair. I tugged gently on her dark curls and she moaned. It was low and short, not like Savannah’s. I stepped forward until her back was against the wall. I remembered the hotel.
Her fingers swiftly undid my belt and unzipped my jeans. I pulled back and opened my eyes. We were both breathless. She lifted her arms for me and I took off her shirt, letting the fabric fall to the ground. Her bra was beige and lacey around the edges. I unclasped the front and her tits popped out, her big nipples in a hard pebble with her arousal.
I closed my eyes again and placed my lips to her neck. She smelled of honey and coconut. It was nice, but my brain screamed lavender. Her fingers tugged on my hair with one hand, while the other cupped my dick. I pictured Peach’s small nipples and round tits. I got hard.
“Let’s go to my room,” she whispered and licked my ear.
I nodded and grabbed her hand.
She pulled me down the hallway. I kept my head down as we passed the photo frames that hung on the wall. Before we stepped into her room, Peach’s room, I tugged on her arm and held up her face with my hands. When my lips met hers again, I searched. I was digging in the dark trying to find something,
anything
that would give me the connection Peach gave me. But when I opened my eyes, it was Carmin that I saw.
I stopped and rested my hands on her arms. She licked her lips, they were puffy from my own and my heart ached. I couldn’t go through with it.
Carmin was the one that was here with me. Carmin was the mother of my child, but Savannah owned me in every other way. You can’t force love. She placed a palm on my cheek and stared at me.
Say something!
“I -”
I what? I want to know where Peach is? I want to know how to find her and win her back?
Instead, I said another truth.
“I’m sorry. I just can’t.”
She nervously bit her lip and covered her breasts with her arms.
“What I mean is -”
“Don’t worry about it, Andres,” she cut me off and walked past me to grab her bra and shirt, using it as a shield.
I followed her and fixed my jeans. When I reached down for my shirt, I didn’t even have a chance to put it on before she screamed, “Go!”
I let out a breath and walked out the door, hearing the slam mere seconds after.
It had started off as such a great day too.
As soon as I got in the car, my phone buzzed in my pocket. I pulled it out to see Victoria was calling me. Shit, I was so caught up in my day that I forgot to text her the news.
“It’s a nephew,” I told her by way of greeting and I had to pull the phone away thanks to her screaming. She was going to mess up my hearing with that kind of excitement.
“Oh my God! It’s a nephew, Jared!” I could hear mumbling in the background and barking. It seemed like even Lucky was in on the celebrating. I got my keys and got in the car.
“Yeah, it’s a little man. I’m going to decorate his room with baseball stuff,” I said quietly. I hoped Carmin wouldn’t change her mind.
Fuck it. He’s my kid too.
“You okay? You don’t seem that happy,” she said
.
“Yeah, just tired. I had a long night,” I lied. I heard muttering in the background.
“Jared says he’ll be sure to send you some Rays gear,” she said and that made me laugh.
“I don’t know what team yet, but I’ll be sure to let you know when I go to the store.”
“Anything but Boston Red Sox, please,” she mumbled. I frowned.
“Why is that?”
“Because they suck ass,” she said quickly. A little too quickly.
“Um, no, they’re actually pretty good.”
“I just don’t like them,”
“Yeah, but Savannah is from Boston.” I closed my eyes and leaned my head back.
Everything always comes back to her.
“I guess it doesn’t matter.” My sister sighed. “You haven’t heard from her, huh?”
“Nope.” I put on my shades and pulled out the driveway. No way was I going to tell her I kissed Carmin.
“What if you Googled her?”
I rolled my eyes. “I tried that.”
“Recently?”
“No, after she first left.”
“Well, try again,” she insisted. I lowered the A/C; I was sweating from standing out in that scorching parking lot.
“I doubt I’ll find anything,” I argued.
“Don’t be stubborn, Dre. You never know. Things come up all the time, and she might have a business website up by now.” I could practically see my sister standing with her hands on her hips. The little sense of hope I thought I’d lost came back to me.
“All right, I’ll search when I get home,” I promised and with that we said our goodbyes.
As I arrived home again, my phone buzzed. When I looked at the alert, I completely froze in that exact spot. My throat felt tight, and I loosened the collar on my shirt. Peach had responded. Four weeks later and I finally got an answer? I opened up my email app and scrolled. Disappointment filled me when I realized it was short. I needed
more
. I would always need more.
Subject: Re: Please don’t delete this.
Dre,
I think, with time, I’ll forgive you, but now is just not that time. I know you weren’t trying to cause me pain, but the feeling is still there. Please respect my wishes and stop contacting me. I hope everything is good with you and your baby.
Savannah
I stood there and stared at my phone. I re-read her email three times. Why couldn’t she just give me ten minutes? I said I’d meet her anywhere! Ten minutes. I threw my phone on the bed and walked to my desk to turn on the laptop. I needed to find her. It seemed like my personal mission now.
I typed in her full name on the search engine and tried narrowing it down to my city. I was on page ten when I decided to take away “Miami’ and just use Florida. Even more options came up. I clenched my jaw, grinding my teeth in frustration. This was ridiculous. It was like finding a needle in a haystack.
I scrolled and scrolled until another name jumped out at me. Antonio Di Angelo. Wait a second. I clicked on it and my fingers instinctively flexed. There was an article on another one of his galas but this time in West Palm Beach, Fl. It included a close-up black and white picture of Antonio, Peach, and — I squinted my eyes to make sure but knew it was —
him
. That fucking
assistant
that had given her his business card.
What the fuck.
I rubbed my fingers along my chin as I read the article. Di Angelo had sponsored another successful gala to raise money for a M.A.D.D. charity event and “one of his lovely new models, Savannah Martinez, was all smiles and more than happy to pose.” No shit she was happy. Standing with someone she admired and fighting a cause dear to her heart.
Fuck!
Like that fucking picture I’d seen at the gala! Had that asshole asked her to pose nude, too? I got up quickly, the chair scraping against the tile and retrieved my phone from the bed.
“Safe Investigations,” Tony answered.
“Where’s Savannah?” I growled.
He exhaled. “These things take time, bro.”
“It’s been weeks!” I was tugging on my collar, my shirt practically choking me. I had to find her. Right now.
“We’re close; we know she’s in West Palm -”
“WHERE in West Palm?” I’d find her myself; I looked around like a mad man for my keys.
“Let us do our job,” he said calmly. How could he be calm? I was practically having trouble breathing. “We want to give you as much info as possible once we do.”
“Just find her,” I said before I hung up and threw the phone back on my bed.
