Restless Heart (33 page)

“You were doing what you thought best.” Destiny gently squeezed her arm.

“And so is your father. Don’t get me wrong—I believe he should be supporting you in all that you do. But I also realize that his reasoning, however misguided and stubborn, comes from the love he has for you. I know for a fact that he misses you dearly.”

Destiny swallowed hard and said only, “I do hope you and Daddy can work things out.”

“So do I. And you and Daddy. You and Seth, too.”

Destiny’s eyebrows shot up, but she said nothing.

“I want you to remember something, Destiny. Life is a journey, not a destination. There will be times when you fail. But, honey, let me ask you this: Would you rather fail at something or never try and always wonder what might have been?”

“Are you talking about my career?”

“I’m talking about life. Standing up there onstage tonight at the Grand Ole Opry . . . you made that happen. You’ve always made things happen. Don’t ever forget it.”

 

 

 

H
er mother’s words lingered in Destiny’s ears long after she slid into bed that night.

Maybe in my career,
Destiny thought.
But what about in my relationship with Seth?

All this time, she—who had never believed in leaving things up to fate—had been telling herself that it was up to him to call her.

Why?

Because she was afraid to put herself out there, afraid of rejection, afraid of failure.

If she’d handled her career that way, where would she be now?

Not here in Nashville with a hit record and an album about to be released, that was for sure.

Shaking her head, Destiny got out of bed and padded barefoot across the floor to the phone, before she lost her nerve.

 

 

 

W
alking into the house, Seth dropped his car keys on the table and shook off his jacket.

It was late, and he had an early day tomorrow. Baseball season was about to begin again, and he had to be on the field with the boys by seven. He was going to be dragging.

Still, he wouldn’t have missed Destiny’s Grand Ole Opry debut tonight for anything in the world.

He’d found out about the appearance via her Web site, which had launched right around the time he’d started hearing her single on the radio . . .

Which was right around the time he’d hung up on her voice mail and started dating Tracy.

It didn’t mean he’d stopped following Destiny on the Internet. But every time he went to her Web site, his heart sank when he saw the ever-expanding photo gallery that had undoubtedly been assembled by Grace and the label’s PR reps. There were countless photos of Destiny—onstage, and surrounded by adoring fans, and quite a few with Brody Ballard, and even more with her guitar player, Jesse. In every single picture, she looked positively radiant.

Some part of Seth had been hoping to find that she was as lonely and miserable without him as he was without her, but that clearly wasn’t the case.

I’m happy for her,
he’d told himself, over and over again—until he actually believed it.

She was fine. He didn’t have to worry about her.

On the surface, he was fine, too. He’d gone out with Tracy a few times, as often as their busy teaching and coaching schedules would permit. They’d shared some laughs, and yes, some affection. She was a terrific woman, and he enjoyed her company, but . . .

He didn’t expect her to be. And he wasn’t leading her on. She knew he still had unresolved feelings for Destiny. She felt the same way about her former boyfriend.

“This doesn’t have to be serious,” she told Seth, time and time again. “We’ll just have some fun, and see where it leads.”

Maybe, the more time that passed, the more inclined he would be to give his budding relationship with Tracy the chance it deserved.

But that didn’t mean he couldn’t lose himself in the Nashville crowd to watch Destiny’s performance this evening.

He’d been worried, walking into the auditorium, that someone from home would spot him. He was on the lookout for Sara and Grace, Cooper and Annie, Nessie and Max. Indeed, he spotted them all, from afar, and it gave him a hollow ache to feel, once again, like an outsider.

With a sigh, he started toward the stairs, anxious to get some sleep—and not certain he’d be able to.

Just as he put his foot on the bottom step, the shrill ringing of the telephone startled him.

It was midnight. His thoughts flew to his parents down in Florida, and to Chase, whose stepmother was now seriously dating a man who wasn’t crazy about him—and vice versa.

“Maybe it would be better for everyone if I just took off and went to Alaska after all,” the boy had said to Seth just this afternoon.

“You can’t do that, Chase.”

“Why not?”

“Because it would be throwing away everything you’ve worked for. You’re going to get into a good college, and you’re going to play baseball, like you always wanted. Just stick it out.”

Chase just shrugged, and for the first time, Seth worried that he might not have gotten through to him.

Now he hurried to answer the phone with a sick feeling in his stomach.

“Hello?”

For a moment, there was silence.

Wrong number, he thought in relief, and waited for the click.

Instead, he heard a familiar voice softly saying his name, and his heart stopped.

“Destiny?” he breathed. “Is that you?”

“It’s me. I know it’s late. Sorry. I just wanted to say hi. It’s been so long . . .”

With a gulp, Seth asked, “How are you?”

As if he didn’t know.

“I’m good,” she said. “Been busy.”

“Yeah? I’ll bet.”

He waited for her to tell him about the concert tonight, but she said, instead, “It’s nuts, Seth. Half the time I don’t know if I’m comin’ or goin’. I’ve waited so long for this to happen and now it seems like I’m moving at the speed of light. I fall into bed every night exhausted—not that I’m complaining! And Grace has been amazing. I don’t know what I’d do without her.”

“I’m so glad that she’s there with you.”

“Yeah, me too.”

There was a moment of silence.

“Hey . . .” he said, pressing the phone hard against his ear, “I heard you on the radio a bunch of times.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. You sound great.”

“Thanks. I’m still trying to get used to the idea. To tell you the truth, I don’t know if I ever will.”

“I heard ‘Restless Heart’ did really well on the charts.”

“Crazy, huh? It was totally unexpected, but being the theme song for
Cowgirl Up
really helped. Sundial is really pleased. My schedule has been insane, though. It changes just about every day without notice. They just give me this sheet with an agenda on it and then parade me around.”

“I don’t suppose they’re parading you back here to Wilmot anytime soon?”

“I wish, but I’m getting ready to launch the album, so . . .”

“Yeah. I hope it’s a hit.”

“Thanks, Seth. How are things with you?”

“Oh, you know . . . the same. Not much changes around here.”

“Is Chase okay?”

“Hanging in there. He’s still here, but . . . it’s complicated.”

“I’m sure you’ve been there for him. He’s lucky to have you.” Was it his imagination, or was there a wistful note in her voice? “How’s the new house, Seth?”

“It’s . . .”
Lonely
. “It’s really nice.”

“I can’t wait to see it,” she said softly, surprising him.

“Well, then, don’t be a stranger. Next time you’re in town, be sure to come on over.”

“I will,” she promised. “I guess . . . I guess I should let you go. I hope I didn’t wake you up.”

“You didn’t. Thanks for calling, Destiny. It was really good to hear your voice.”

“Yours too.”

Not wanting to be the one to disconnect the call, he waited to hang up until he’d heard a click on the other end.

 

 

 

S
haken, Destiny stood for a long time, holding the phone and thinking about what might have been, if only . . .

No. That was silly.

But for the first time in months, she wondered if maybe there was a way to have it all.

Like Tammy said, some people did.

And, anyway, now wasn’t the time for thinking. Not when her brain was as weary as her body.

Climbing back into bed, Destiny closed her eyes and thought again of Seth.

Hearing his voice had been as thrilling—if not more thrilling—than stepping out onto that legendary stage tonight.

That meant something, for sure . . .

With a yawn, she told herself she’d figure it all out tomorrow.

A
s the strains of “Pomp and Circumstance” filled the high school auditorium on a bright June morning, Seth was carried back over the years to his own graduation day. The world had been so full of promise then, the future bright with possibility. He’d still dreamed of a major league baseball career . . .

And now, look at Chase, so handsome in his cap and gown, dreaming the same dream.

But for him, it looked like it might just come true. He was going to Gonzaga on a baseball scholarship. It wasn’t Alaska, but almost as close as he could get, and Seth hoped that might open the door to a reconciliation with his mom.

She wasn’t here today, but Chase’s stepmother watched the ceremony proudly from her seat beside Seth’s, and a few times, he’d seen her dab her eyes with a tissue.

He’d been forced to do the same thing, though he’d been much more surreptitious about it. Chase wasn’t his son, but he was as proud as if he were, and he was going to miss him when he left for the Pacific Northwest.

His life, it seemed, was all about good-byes lately.

Tracy Gilmore had accepted a teaching and coaching position in Lexington for the fall.

“It feels like the right thing to do,” she’d told Seth. “There’s a lot to keep me here—my family, my condo, my friends—but this job offer came out of left field, and I think I should grab it.”

“So do I,” Seth told her, filled with a curious blend of regret and relief.

He knew she deliberately hadn’t named him as one of the things keeping her here in Wilmot, and he also knew she was wondering if he was going to amend that.

He didn’t, because the more time that passed, the more certain he was that he and Tracy were just spinning their wheels—for now, anyway.

It wasn’t out of the question that he might be tempted, down the road, to revisit his attraction to Tracy. The chances that a great girl like her would be indefinitely available were slim, and he knew it, but he couldn’t lead her on now.

Not when a part of him was still pining away for Destiny.

After the ceremony, he waited for Chase in the crowded lobby. All around him, proud, emotional parents were embracing their children, most of whom didn’t seem to grasp the milestone they’d just passed. They posed for pictures and poked fun at one another’s mortarboards and made plans for parties later tonight.

They have no idea,
Seth thought,
that nothing is ever going to be the same. Not in the way they think it is, anyway.

It wasn’t that they’d never see one another again—although that might be the case with some. But the rest—the ones who tried—would never see one another in quite the same way, now that shared daily perspective was falling by the wayside. That much was certain.

Look at himself and Destiny. Try as they might, they couldn’t overcome the differences—and distance—between their grown-up lives.

“Coach!”

Seth turned and found himself caught up in a bear hug.

Chase had shot up and filled out over the past few months. Now he was taller than Seth, and stronger, too.

“Hey, Chase . . . congratulations! You did it!”

Chase shook his head so hard the tassel from his mortarboard slapped him in the nose. “No, Coach, you did it.”

“No way. I didn’t—”

“Okay, well, then, you
made
me do it. How’s that?”

Seth shrugged. “That’s still too much credit. You did it yourself, Chase. All I did was encourage you.”

“You did a lot more than that, Coach. You made those scouts come see me play, you made me study, you made me fill out applications, you made me stay here . . . you made it happen.”

Even as Chase said it, the echo of another voice—Destiny’s voice—filled Seth’s head.