Restore Your Marriage & Fall in Love Again (7 page)

Love is as much an object as an obsession, everybody wants it, everybody seeks it, but few ever achieve it, those who do will cherish it, be lost in it, and among all, will never….never forget it. ~Curtis Judalet

I love you. I am who I am because of you. You are every reason, every hope, and every dream I've ever had, and no matter what happens to us in the future, every day we are together is the greatest day of my life. I will always be yours. ~Nicholas Sparks,
The Notebook

And when her lips met mine, I knew that I could live to be a hundred and visit every country in the world, but nothing would ever compare to that single moment when I first kissed the girl of my dreams and knew that my love would last forever. ~Nicholas Sparks,
Dear John

WHAT EACH KISS MEANS
- Kiss on the Forehead: We're cute together .
- Kiss on the Cheek: We're friends.
- Kiss on the Hand: I adore you.
- Kiss on the Neck: I want you, now.
- Kiss on the Shoulder: You’re perfect.
- Kiss on the Lips: I LOVE YOU...
WHAT EACH GESTURE MEANS:
- Holding Hands: We definitely like each other.
- Holding you tight pressed against each other: I want you.
- Looking into each other's Eyes: I like you, for who you are.
- Playing with Hair: Let's fool around.
- Arms around the Waist: I like you too much to let go.
- Laughing while Kissing: I am completely comfortable with you.

Theboardofwisdom.com

You have probably heard the saying, give credit where credit is due. When your partner does a good job, fixes or figures something out, comes up with a great idea, or does you a favor, it is important to acknowledge it. We all like the attention of a job well done or the praise for a thoughtful and creative idea. It makes us feel good and valuable that we have made a positive impact. In our own special way, we have contributed to the well-being of our spouse, family, and/or society and it can be encouraging to know that it did not go unnoticed.

We all have a deep need to feel valuable and especially to our partners. We want our partner to think we are really important and special. We want him or her to adore us and need us. We want his or her respect and devotion. Oftentimes our positive contributions become too familiar and we begin to take one another for granted. We quickly forget how much our spouse thinks about us and does for us whether it is fixing our computer, folding our laundry, making our favorite dinner, calling to see how our day is going, getting us a cup of coffee, and so forth.

If we make it a practice to take notice of the good things our partner says and does, we will begin to recognize it more easily; and we will tend to focus on the good in him or her. The little things that usually annoy us, the faults, weakness and mistakes will be easier to overlook. They will no longer bother us in the same way. And we will become increasingly grateful for our partner. A grateful heart is a happy heart. We can become happier in our marriages with the practice of giving thanks for one another.

SAY IT & BELIEVE IT
Read aloud (individually or together):

I realize that I may tend to take
(
spouse’s name
)
for granted. Oftentimes when _____ makes a positive difference in my day or someone else’s, I do not compliment him/her or express my appreciation. I suppose I assume he/she knows that I am thankful, or I just get so accustomed to some things he/she does that I tend to expect them. However, when _____ does or says something good that benefits me or anyone else, I will take notice and recognize it as a blessing. Even the simple everyday things are a reason to be thankful.

I will acknowledge and look for the good in _____. I will focus on his/her strengths, not on weaknesses. I will see the beautiful and good, not the bad and ugly. I will expect and believe the best of him/her not the worst. I will accept that _____ has imperfections and faults that may bother me at times. However, I will not magnify them or allow them to damage our relationship.

I will not take _____ for granted, but I will appreciate him/her and acknowledge that he/she is special, unique and talented. I will look for and notice the ways in which he/she has so much good to offer. And I will show my respect and acknowledge him/her with praise, positive reinforcement and attention.

I will make it a practice to be thankful for my partner and take notice of the good things he/she says and does.

PUT IT INTO PRACTICE

Make a list of at least 3 reasons you are thankful for one another. Share your lists. Put them up on the refrigerator or wall as a constant reminder to acknowledge the good in each other.

This week take notice of the simple things your partner says and does that make a positive difference and bless you or someone else. Acknowledge your partner. You can do it with:

Talk about how this exercise affected you and your relationship.

THINK ABOUT IT

Find the good—and praise it. ~Alex Haley

To the people who love you, you are beautiful already. This is not because they're blind to your shortcomings but because they so clearly see your soul. ~Victoria Moran

Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage. ~
Lao Tzu

Encouragement is the oxygen of the soul. ~George M. Adams

Pretend that every single person you meet has a sign around his or her neck that says, Make Me Feel Important. Not only will you succeed in sales, you will succeed in life. ~Mary Kay Ash

When two people decide to share their lives with one another, they begin a life-long journey that may include seasons of joy and sorrow, pleasure and pain, harmony and discord, love and hate, peace and unrest, trust and betrayal, security and instability. No journey is trouble free, and sometimes the storms and attacks can do some serious damage. However, when marriage partners are committed to restore and improve their relationship, they can renew love, build strength and develop some very effective and healthy ways of coping. With dedicated investment, couples gain greater understanding of one another, improved communication, increased affection, forgiveness, and appreciation that can all help to bring healing and restore love.

It is my hope and prayer that
Restore Your Marriage & Fall in Love Again
has provided you with some helpful relationship building tools, insights, and applications to make the lifelong journey with your spouse an enjoyable adventure. And when you hit some rough spots, know that it is not the end of the journey, but rather, a new opportunity to grow closer and stronger as you work together. You are equipped with new ways of relating and thinking. With consistent practice, you will have new habits developing. The new will replace the old. You will learn from the past, release it, and move ahead into a bright future together as you work to restore your marriage and fall in love again!

Krystal Kuehn, MA, LPC, LLP, NCC is a psychotherapist, best-selling author, teacher, songwriter and musician.

Krystal specializes in helping people live their best life now, reach their full potential, overcome barriers, heal from their past, & develop a happiness lifestyle. Her inspirational and empowering approach has been helping people all over the world for over 20 years. Krystal’s articles, poetry, and songs have been published locally and internationally. She is also the author of many books including–
The 10 Keys to Happy and Loving Relationships
,
Giving Thanks – Why It Makes You Happy, Fills You With Peace and Changes Your Life
,
55 Words of Inspiration for a New Day
,
The 9 Habits of Happy People
,
Finding Hope for Depression.

Krystal has a passion for encouraging others. She believes everyone has untapped potential for greatness and everyone can live a life of fulfillment and true happiness. Krystal is the co-founder of New Day Counseling in Michigan. Her web sites include:

NewDayCounseling.org
Be Your Best Blog
Baby-Poems.com
NewSongProductions.com
StopSuicideSong.com
BeHappy4Life.com
Facebook.com/WordsofInspiration
Connect with Krystal Kuehn

My heart’s desire and goal in
Restore Your Marriage & Fall in Love Again
is to provide you with relationship building tools to help improve your marriage and improve your life! I would love to hear your testimonials and how you have been helped. You can send your testimonials, feedback and comments to me at:
[email protected]
. You can also share your experience by writing a review on
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, click
here
.

My author profile:
http://www.amazon.com/Krystal-Kuehn/e/B0074OI67O

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http://www.newdaycounselingcenter.blogspot.com/

To access
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available with
Restore Your Marriage and Fall in Love Again
, go to
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RE781203

The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love that Lasts
by Gary Chapman

The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work
by John Gottman

Why Marriage Succeed and Fail and How You Can Make Yours Last
by John Gottman

Getting the Love You Want: A Guide for Couples
by Harville Hendrix

Hold Me Tight: Seven Conversations for a Lifetime of Love
by Sue Johnson

From Anger to Intimacy:
How Forgiveness Can Transform Your Marriage
by Gary Smalley and Ted Cunningham