Resurrecting Harry (13 page)

Her bright smile brought forth his own. He’d say it made the fight worth it, but the past two days were such a blur he barely remembered anything, let alone the battle. Just patches of her touch and concern through a wispy white fog. “I’m feeling much better.”

“Thank Heavens Joseph knew what to do for you.” She carried the bags to the dresser. “I think I found everything on your list. What I couldn’t find in the market, Gail provided.”

“I’m surprised she helped you,” Joseph said.

Bess paused in front of Joseph and took his hand in hers. “I went to the Cooper’s and had a long talk with Gail and Martin. I explained how I asked you to treat Erich and you were only doing as I requested. I tried, but Martin is unwilling to continue your fellowship.”

“That was unnecessary, Mrs. Houdini. I told you I was at peace with my new path.”

“You’re a good man. You saved Erich’s life, and you shouldn’t be punished for that. You’ve already refused to let me pay you, so I had to try to set things right with Martin.” Bess gave Erich her attention. “Do you remember meeting Martin and Gail in the deli earlier this week? They’ve been most helpful this past year.”

Erich gritted his teeth. Even if he hadn’t remembered, Harry’s memories burned bright in his mind. “I think so. The blonde with all the sparkling jewelry and the tall, dark-haired man with shifty eyes.”

Bess shook her head and stepped back. “Shifty eyes. Really? He’s a good doctor and a trusted friend. It’s because of him that I know Joseph. Without him, you’d most certainly not be sitting there now with the strength to complain. He saved you.”

Her offense to his statement confounded Erich more. How and why had Martin become a god-send in her life? As for Joseph... “I’m grateful for the treatment, but as far as the hocus-pocus stuff goes—”

“It’s a bit too late to be tossing it aside. I don’t think you realize just how sick you were.”

Erich balled the blankets in his fist. Even though he’d lived through it, the leap to believing in holistic medicine was just too much. A few hours ago, he might have been at death’s door. Now? His muscles ached, his incision burned, but death’s angel no longer loomed in front of him. Did that mean Joseph’s treatments helped? Bess’s touch had played a role. He was sure of that. As she’d washed him down and cradled his neck, he’d felt the tangible link between them. He stayed because she’d willed it so.

But did that notion devalue Harry’s tie to her? Why hadn’t Harry’s will to be with Bess kept him grounded to this world? How had God, or Satan, or Jaden so easily pulled Harry’s soul from her? Of course. Jaden! Erich remained because of their wager. It had nothing to do with Joseph’s treatments. “I’m grateful to be feeling so much better, but I really don’t think—”

“Mr. Welch has no faith,” Joseph said as he gathered up several of the small glass jars Bess had unpacked. “I’ll need to use your stove to make the dressing for his wound, and then I’ll be returning to the reservation. Make sure he drinks the root tea, even though he doesn’t think that is helping either.”

Bess’s eyes opened wider, and her mouth dropped. “You don’t need to leave. You can stay a few more days.”

“There is no reason to. All he needs now is rest, the tea several times a day, and for you to change his dressing twice a day. I’ve already taught you how to make the tea and change his dressing.”

“What if the fever returns?”

“I will check on him often, but it’s time for me to go home.” With that simple declaration, Joseph nodded and left the room, giving neither Bess nor Erich room to argue.

Alone, Bess asked, “Is it true?”

“That I don’t believe in voo-doo or witchcraft?”

A scowl tightened her face. “That isn’t what Joseph does. He practices a form of medicine that has been handed down for generations. One you should be damn grateful for.”

“You’re right,” Erich sighed. “I’m doing better, but that isn’t necessarily because of him.” Accepting the worth of the medicine man’s treatments proved impossible. He was convinced he’d still be here for the full thirty days even if he went out and jumped off the roof of the house.

She busied herself, smoothing the blanket and trying to arrange his pillows. Wheels turned, and her anger fumed. He could see that she wanted to call him out, debate it all further, and he welcomed the challenge. What words they spoke didn’t matter, as long as she stayed by his side and acknowledged him. “Drink your tea and rest.”

“I don’t know what that is, but it isn’t tea. It tastes horrible.”

“I don’t care how it tastes. You’ll drink it anyway. You may not believe in the treatments that are making you well, but I’d give anything to go back in time and have Joseph treat my Harry. Maybe he’d still be here.”

Erich grabbed her wrist, drawing her eyes back to him. “You don’t believe that.” Her bitterness and anger had stirred something in him. At first, her deep mourning seemed like a tribute to Harry and to what they shared, but now Erich realized clinging to Harry held Bess stagnate.

“Yes, I do.”

“You can’t change what happened to him, and wondering if things had been different is a foolish waste of time.” He hated being so harsh, but couldn’t help himself. She had to see that one simple fact if he had any hopes of getting her to let go. “And planning this silly séance isn’t any better. Dead men can’t speak.”

“What do you know about the séance?”

Damn his loose lips for spilling something he’d learned from Jaden. But then... “Just what I heard you telling Gail and Martin in the deli the other day. Foolish nonsense if you ask me.”

She pulled back and stumbled when he released his grip on her wrist. “You never knew Harry. He never once, in the whole time I knew him, lied to me. If he said he’ll come back to me, he will.”

“Death is not an illusion!”

Straightening her frame, Bess wagged a pointed finger at him. “Unlike you, I need something to believe in.” What little vulnerability she’d allowed herself was replaced with the acidic sternness. “Keep the tea down, and I’ll bring you some broth.” She stormed from the room in a huff.

Exasperated and more than a little tired, he leaned against the headboard. He had to make her see there was no value in clinging to her past. The moment his eyes closed, his body lurched. His back arched as Harry’s soul was ripped from his body. Pulled higher and higher, he tried to get one last glimpse of the world. A white light blinded his sight until he found himself once again in the padded room sitting across from Jaden, who wore white, linen pants and a flowing white shirt.

He pushed his hair off his face as he looked up. The black strands were a dramatic contrast to the surroundings, and those soul-less eyes pierced through him. “Things not going well, Erich?”

“Why do you ask such stupid questions?” Jaden and his sardonic sense of humor was the last thing he wanted to deal with at the moment.

“Do you believe that Bess is in danger now?”

More idiocy! He threw his hands in the air and gave a curt nod. Denying it was pointless. He just wished he had an idea as to how to fix it. “She’s lost and the Coopers are taking advantage of her sorrow. They’re guiding her down a road paved with gold, but leading to Hell.”

“Do you think yelling at her is going to sway her resolve? These are the very people who were there when Harry wasn’t.”

He jumped to his feet. Proof he’d left his gifted but broken body behind, this spiritual mass reacted as if he were in perfect health. No pain. If this room had a door, he’d have left. Instead, he was trapped with Jaden — the man whose simple truths cut like the sharpest razor blade — and ensnared in a tangled web of his own weaving. But the real world wasn’t black and white; shades of gray blurred the lines of truth and happenstance. “You act like I deserted her! I didn’t choose to die!”

“Like you didn’t choose to overexert Erich’s body, knowing full well it carried Harry’s scars?”

Erich leaned back against the wall. His head ached as he pushed down the pain and regret bubbling in his throat. “I was taught hard work and supporting your family were virtues not sins. The burden of caring for Bess weighed more than you’ll know.”

“What would soothe her more at this moment, a simple home and a meager meal with Harry or to continue wandering around that big, lonely house without him?”

Erich cringed against the truth. Of course she’d choose for Harry to still be alive. “I thought you wanted me to change the future, not the past.”

“Many think of time as a line, but it is circular. Every event feeds or changes the one to follow. You need to find the right stones to step on if you want her to find peace, otherwise the torment and grief will only grow.”

“I’m stumbling around in the dark here. I try to reach out to her and all I do is upset her. I guess if you keep showing up to coach me, it means I’m making things worse.”

A wide smile curled Jaden’s lips. “So, do you finally accept that I’m here to help and not work against you?”

“I accept that you’re using me to help Bess. She’s the one that deserves mercy and peace. I’m nothing more to you than a tool.”

The last thing Erich saw before his vision began to dissolve to white was Jaden’s lips turning up in a sly smile.

Erich’s return trip to his body was like shoving a size twelve foot into a size ten shoe. He struggled and twisted against the pain crushing in from all sides. Then something snapped and the two pieces — body and soul — fit as one. His eyes fluttered open, and once again he stared at the light green wallpaper of the guest room.

So many selfish choices. Why did Jaden keep giving him more chances?

The reason behind his generosity didn’t matter. Not really. Erich accepted it and vowed once again to find the right path.

An overwhelming loneliness for Bess wrenched his gut. He needed to be with her; convince her to stop chasing ghosts and begin living for herself. Pushing the covers back, he used slow, purposeful movements to twist in the bed. With both feet on the floor, he cradled his side and took control of his body, choosing exactly which muscles to use to bring him to his feet. At least something good came from Harry’s memories and life experience.

Gripping the bedpost, he measured the distance between himself and the door with his mind’s eye. Three solid steps would put him there. A sharp inhale expanded his lungs, putting pressure on the just-bound incision and ramping up the pain. The simple act of moving his left foot forward and shifting his weight felt the same as climbing a mountain. He pushed the pain away using the same controlled breathing that Harry used in his underwater illusions and found enough strength to slide his right foot up to meet the other.

At this pace it’ll take me three hours to get to her.

A ping in his chest told him she was close. He glanced up. Bess — with her hands on her hips and her chin raised — blocked the doorway. She scowled at him. “You fool! What are you doing?”

“You have been pushing a lot of water and root tea at me for the last two days. What goes in...”

She set a bowl of broth on the nightstand and hurried to his side, putting her arm around his waist and guiding his around her shoulder. “The bedpan is under—”

“I think I have the strength to walk down the hall and back.” The little white lie didn’t matter if he convinced her he was regaining his strength. He resisted the urge to pull her in and lay his head atop of hers and denied the need to inhale her scent. He’d be thankful for small favors, revel in her touch and make the most of this moment. Besides, if recent history proved to be any indication, she’d bolt as soon as his need for her support evaporated.

No matter how he tried to remain upright, his knees gave way. His strength diminished with each step, taking with it his ego. He always thought of himself as her protector, but now Bess took him under her wing as if she were a mother bird and he her wounded chick. Nothing like the relationship he was shooting for.

She accepted and supported him. As they walked, her feather-light touch caressed Erich’s hip in a way that went deeper than skin to skin. Loving and sensual. Maybe Bess didn’t consider herself his caregiver. Maybe those lines had blurred for her too.

He should act on it. Do something. Say something. But what? Every time he tried to advance their relationship, it ended in a backward slide.

“I’m sorry,” he said. “You invited me here to help you, not be a burden.” So close to the truth. His mandate — to save her from herself — had gotten tangled up in all of Harry’s mistakes, including his damn burst appendix.

“Don’t be sorry, just listen to Joseph and get well.” Bess stopped in front of the bathroom, and Erich took a single step alone. He gripped the jamb, lifting from her and bracing the wall for support. The mere inches that separated them seemed like miles; he wrestled with the urge to reach for her again. “I promise, Bess. I’ll do what he says.”

“I’ll wait for you in my bedroom. Just call out when you’re finished.” She skirted around him, ignoring his attempt to reach for her, and disappeared. The emptiness in her eyes and the tremble to her voice told him she fought her own battle. Did she long for him or was she drowning in a pool of Harry’s memories?

No matter how weak his body was, Erich needed to figure out her conflict, find his opening with her and use it. He needed steel resolve to soothe her pain and make her listen to reason. Putting her back on the right life path came first. Once he accomplished that, he could concern himself with finding his way to her side.

A few moments later, he scuffled back into the hall using the door frame to keep himself upright. He wanted to make the walk back to his bed, prove he was strong and able, but the small amount of exertion had left him exhausted. He took a deep breath, ready to call out for Bess, but stopped at the sound of her weeping.

He leaned against the wall and pushed forward until he could see into the room. Tears streaked Bess’s cheeks as she looked out the window. In her arms, she clenched his long black stage jacket. Despite her pain, the sight gave him some hope. She
hadn’t
removed every trace of him from the house.

Inhaling deeply, she slid the coat against her face. “I miss you, baby.”

His instincts told him to go to her, take her tears away and tell her he’d kept his promise to escape death, but knew if he dared to try, he might as well dig his own grave. There was only so much Jaden would forgive before declaring himself the winner of the bet and sending Harry straight to his version of Hell.

Still, he couldn’t stand there, watch her cry and do nothing. “Are you all right, Bess?”

Her body jerked at the sound of his voice. She tossed the coat to the bed and pushed the tears from her face with the back of her hand as she walked toward him. “It’s been a long couple of days. I’m worn out.”

“It’s more than that. Something I said or did upset you.” He wanted nothing more than to stand tall and be a rock for her. No matter how he fought it, his knees went weak. He couldn’t keep himself from leaning on her but she welcomed him. Her arm tightened around his waist.

“Quite the opposite, but never you mind. Save your strength for yourself.”

Why was she like this? Every single inch she gave, every glimpse at the soft, tender woman Harry married, became guarded by the stone wall she cowered behind. “Don’t hide yourself from me.”

“Mr. Welch, it’s inappropriate for me to share my personal thoughts with you.”

If she only knew the truth.
“Maybe that was true a few days ago, but you saved my life. You’ve helped me and now I want to help you.”

He watched as the hard façade began to crack again, but she firmed up the flood gates by setting her jaw. “I’ll accept your gratitude, but nothing more. Let me get you back to bed.”

The accuracy of her words pricked at his chest. He detested feeling weak next to her, loathed that she had to care for him. “I’m sorry to be so much trouble.”

“Don’t be silly. I like having something to keep my mind and hands busy.”

“Lest they become the devil’s playthings?” Jaden’s words slipped from Erich’s mouth. As soon as they hit his ear, he wished he could recall them and cursed the being for putting such a slanderous phrase in his mouth. That was, until he saw her lips curve upward.

“I’d forgotten that adage. My mother used to say it all the time. Busy hands can’t get into trouble.”

“You have a beautiful smile, Bess. You should use it more often.” Part of him expected her to scold him, but he couldn’t help saying it. To his heart, there was nothing more stunning.

“Thank you.” A blush tinted her cheeks, highlighting the china-paleness of her flesh and the innocence in her heart. Harry’s compliments were always met with the same modesty. In his mind, Bess would forever be the prettiest flower in the garden, even if she didn’t see herself the same way.

“You’re welcome.” And there they stayed for the briefest moment. Content. Civil. Meeting her stare, he found the one thing he believed in. The connection that bound them was strong as a steel chain and could never be broken. Trusting they were forever destined on a level neither of them understood, he followed his heart and a hunch.

He twisted his body so they were face to face. He slid his left arm around her waist and wrapped his other around her neck, capturing her mouth with his own. Fulfilling the desire that’d been burning deep within from the moment he’d laid eyes on her again. None of Jaden’s manipulations could alter the simple fact he and Bess were soul mates. With the touch of Erich’s lips, she’d recognize Harry’s spirit. Of this much, he was sure.

He slid his tongue against her mouth, savoring the taste of her, knowing in an instant she was still the love of his heart, his life. Her body softened in his embrace, and she accepted this kiss — the connection that wouldn’t be denied. His fingers tangled in her hair as he tried to pull her closer.

Something inside Bess shifted. Her body stiffened, and her hands pressed against his shoulders. The very second he realized she resisted, he released her. She stumbled back two steps, taking with her his heart, now shattered by the realization that every last assumption about bound souls might be a fairytale.

Throwing her arms in the air, her mouth hung agape. Her eyes, huge with surprise, bore through him. “How dare you!”

“But Bess…” Once again, he’d painted himself into a corner. Add another inappropriate misstep to the growing list.

“Why would you even think that was permissible?” Her locked posture and anger tormented his heart. How could Bess not see? Not feel? He struggled for the right words, but like picking the lock in the shed, no excuse would satisfy. “You’ve been so kind to me.”

“I don’t know how you were raised, but that is not how you thank a married woman for an act of kindness.”

“You’re a widow, not married.”

“My heart will always belong to my husband. You’d do good to remember that. If you weren’t bedridden, you’d find yourself on the street.”

As long as she clung to Harry as if he were only away for the time being, Erich would never find his way inside her heart. Backing down might have soothed her. He could — and probably should — surrender the control over the situation that she desired, but he was oh-so-tired of suppressing Harry to appease Bess. The gnawing in his stomach, his need to be the man he’d always been stood tall. “Don’t let that stop you. If you want me out, it’ll only take a moment to gather my things. God knows I don’t have much.”

He stepped back from her. Pressing his hand against the wall, he tried to pivot away from her, but she grabbed his shoulders and held him firm. “Stop it! So help me if you rip a single stitch—”

“You’ll what? Put me over your knee? I’m not the child you seem to think I am. I’m a grown man and can care for myself.”
What am I doing? Saying?
He’d been dim-witted pulling her into that kiss. Instead of apologizing, he defended his actions like a fool.

“Hmpfh. Care for yourself? You can’t even walk the length of this hall.” Through her stern voice, he could see real concern clouded her eyes.

He needed to figure out a way to get over himself in order to help her. “You’ve been wonderful to me. Maybe the kiss was out of line, but I just want you so bad, and I thought for sure you wanted –”

“Impetuous! How in the world do I get myself tangled up with men like you? You’d leap into a snake pit without thinking.”

“Especially if it were to save you.”

His words pushed Bess back on her heels, the confession stunning her. “Before you go off saving damsels in distress — which I’m not by the way — why don’t we get you to the point you can keep solid food down.” She wrapped an arm around his waist and guided him down the hall. “Let’s get you back to bed.”

“Don’t do this, Bess. Don’t ignore what’s going on between us.”

“The only thing going on is that I’m helping you recover. The least I can do since you got sick while working for me.”

Her words might have had more credence if they didn’t quiver or if she’d looked him in the eye. He could push harder, try to crack the mask she protected her heart with, but at what cost? Let her deny the kiss meant something; he knew the truth. Leaving her to stew with it for the night would wear her down more than pressure from him.