Return of Condor Heroes (221 page)

He drank a big bowl of wine and was satisfied and happy, loudly saying, “This matter is not a cock and bull story; I also have a bit of credit. That evening the Eagle Hero suddenly arrived in Linan; he called me to lead some followers and we tied up the Linan Qian Tang Xian Yamen (Something like a District Court) officers, removed their clothes and let us play the roles of the officers. Everybody was pleasantly surprised, as we did not know why the Eagle Hero gave such instructions, but we wanted to play along and so we acted accordingly. Soon the Eagle Hero arrived at the Qian Tang Xian Yamen, he put on the magistrate’s costume, sat the hall, banged the wooden block and shouted, ‘Bring that scum Ding Daquan here!’” Saying this, his saliva splattered and he drank a big mouthful of wine.

The Guangdong guest said, “Friend what did you work as in Linan at that time?”

The man returned his gaze and said, “What job? I drank a lot, ate a lot, had much money but I was a businessman without capital.” (Hinting he was involved in shady activities.) The Guangdong visitor was startled and did not dare ask again.

The man also said, “At that time when I heard ‘ Ding Daquan ‘, I got a shock, carefully thinking ‘The dog Ding Daquan is currently the Prime Minister, how did the Eagle Hero bring him here?’ The Eagle Hero hit the wooden block again, and then two burly men actually brought a man dressed in official court dress before him. A year earlier Ding Daquan went to a Taoist temple to burn incense and obtain blessings and I saw him outside the temple. Now when I looked again, it was really Ding Daquan. His whole body trembled, not knowing whether to kneel or not. Our brothers kicked his knees, he fell over and knelt down, ha-ha, the Eagle Hero asked, ‘Ding Daquan, are you aware of the charges against you?’ Ding Daquan said ‘I don’t know.’ The Eagle Hero shouted, ‘You engage in corrupt practices for your own personal gain, caused the deaths of loyal men, cruelly harm the common people, collaborate with the enemy who invade the country; all these are heinous crimes – quickly, confess now!’ Ding Daquan said, ‘Who are you? You insult the Prime Minister; do you not know the law?’ The Eagle Hero said, ‘Do YOU not know the law? Officers, hit him forty times then we shall talk again!’ Everybody already hated this scum, so this time we hit doubly hard, but we only hit this scoundrel several times before he begged for mercy again and again. The Eagle Hero asked several questions and he answered willingly, not daring to act stubbornly. The Eagle Hero brought a pen and paper and demanded he write a confession. He hesitated slightly so the Eagle Hero commanded us to hit his buttocks and slap his mouth.”

The refined young girl smiled and said quietly, “Interesting!”

The man drank another huge mouthful of wine, saying with a smile, “Yes. This is very interesting. That Ding Daquan had never been hit before so he had no choice but to write the confession, but he suffered from the beatings so he wrote extremely slowly. The Eagle Hero had to urge him on repeatedly but he was not willing to write any faster. Soon the Sun rose, outside the Yamen the sounds of people got louder, and a large troop of soldiers arrived, probably because the matter had leaked out. The Eagle Hero got angry and shouted, ‘Behead him!’ and cast a glance at me. I knew the Eagle Hero would not easily take someone’s life, so I drew out my broad sword and brushed Ding Daquan’s neck, then when I chopped the sword down, I turned it in midair, chopping his neck with the flat of the sword. But this scared the living daylights out of Ding Daquan, causing his complexion to turn green suddenly and he fainted. The Eagle Hero laughed heartily, calling us to put back the Yamen’s officer’s clothes and sneak off through the side door and return home. Afterwards he went out to the soldiers and so we never fought with them, and everybody withdrew safely. I heard the following day the Eagle Hero personally sneaked into the Imperial Palace, and handed Ding Daquan’s confession to the Emperor. But we do not know how, but that Ding Daquan managed to sweet talk the Emperor into believing him and allowing him to continue as Prime Minister.”

Young General Wang sighed, “If the Emperor was not stupid, then disloyal subjects could not do evil. When Qin Hui was gone, Han Tuozhou came; when Han Tuozhou has gone, Shi Miyuan came; now Shi Miyuan has gone, Ding Daquan comes. We saw Jia Sidao in power and saw how this brought disaster upon the nation and the people. Oh, since the disloyal subjects are numerous, our great Song Empire may not last long.”

The other man said, “Only if we ask the Eagle Hero to be Prime Minister can we repel the Mongolians and restore peace throughout the country.”

The beautiful woman said, “Humph is he qualified to be the Prime Minister?”

The man got angry, “If he’s not are you?”

The young woman became furious and shouted, “Who the hell are you; how dare you be impolite to me?”

The guy picked an iron rod from the fire; she grabbed a few sticks of firewood and struck his rod. The guy’s arm trembled and he felt half his body go numb so he let go of the hot rod, which fell onto the floor causing sparks from the fire to fly and scorch strands of his beard. People called out in alarm. Although the man is hot-tempered, he tasted her martial arts, suffered a loss and did not dare act rashly. He only stroked his burnt beard, not even wanting to drink the wine anymore.

The refined young girl said, “Others have been talking about the Eagle Hero and it was all going fine, why do you not like to hear it?” Turning her head to the man she gave a sweet smile, saying “Uncle, please do not be offended.” That man was originally filled with anger, but seeing her sweet smile, his anger dissipated immediately and his large mouth also smiled; he wanted to say something polite but did not know what to say.

The young girl said, “Uncle, how did you get to know the Eagle Hero?” The man looked at the young woman, hesitated and did not speak. The young girl said, “Just agree not to offend my elder sister and that will do. How old is the Eagle Hero? Are his looks good?” She did not wait for the man to reply and turned her head to the woman saying, “Elder sister, I wonder how his Divine Eagle compares with our pair of eagles?”

The young woman said, “Compare with our pair of eagles? In all this world, which eagle or eagles can hold a candle to our pair of eagles?”

The young girl said, “Not necessarily true. Father often said, ‘A person who studies military theories must know that superior parties always exist and so one cannot be complacent.’ If that applies to humans, then it applies to our eagles too, so more magnificent birds should exist.”

The young woman said “At your young age, what do you understand? When we went out, our parents told you to listen to me, have you not remembered?”

The young girl said with a smile, “That also depends on whether what you say is right. Younger brother am I right or is elder sister right?”

The youth next to her is big and sturdy, but actually looked very naive, so he hesitated for a while then said, “I don’t know. Father said we should listen to elder sister, and told you not to talk back to elder sister.”

The young woman looked very pleased and said, “Isn’t that so?”

The young girl saw that her younger brother was helping her elder sister, but she was not angry and said with a smile, “You don’t understand anything either.” Turning her head to the straightforward man she said, “Uncle, continue the Eagle Hero’s story, please.”

The man said, “OK, since the lady wants to hear, I shall speak; although I, whose surname is Song, have poor skills, I am an honest man. What I say is true and definitely doesn’t contain half a word of lies, if the lady does not believe me, then there’s no need to listen.”

The young girl took the wine pot and poured out a bowl of wine for him, then said with a smile, “Why would I not believe you? Come on, quickly start talking!” She also called out, “Waiter, bring ten catties of wine again and cut 20 catties of beef, my elder sister requests all of you to drink merrily and drive out the cold air.” The servant repeatedly agreed and relayed the order. The many travelers smiled from ear to ear, expressing their gratitude with one voice. Before long, three waiters brought the wine and meat.

The young woman calmly said “Even if I wanted to provide a treat, I would not invite people who utter rubbish. Waiter, the bill for the wine and meat money should not be charged to my account.”

The servant gawked, looked from the young woman to the young girl, not knowing what to do. The young girl took off a golden hairpin from her hair and gave it to the servant, saying, “This hairpin is made of real gold, it’s worth several taels (a unit of currency) of silver. Take it away and exchange it for money. And bring another ten catties of wine and 20 catties of mutton.”

The young woman got angry, “Younger sister, must you be spiteful with me? Even a pearl on this hairpin alone is worth more than 100 taels of silver; you bothered and begged Uncle Zhu for it, but now you casually use it to treat people to a drink. When you return to Xiangyang, if Mother asks about it how will you answer?”

The young girl stuck out her tongue and said with a smile, “I shall say it fell on the road, and I could not find it.”

The woman said “I will not lie for you.”

The young girl used her chopsticks to grasp a piece of beef and put it in her mouth. She then said, “After all, we have already eaten, how can I take it back now? Everybody, please eat, there is no need to be polite.”

The people saw the two arguing and all found it interesting, but they liked the young girl’s naïve character, so even those who did not drink carried the liquor bowls to those who drank the wine, helping the young girl secretly. The young woman spitefully closed her eyes and used her hands to cover her ears.

The young girl said with a smile, “Uncle Song, my elder sister is sleeping, it’s OK if you speak loudly; you won’t wake her.” The young woman opened her eyes widely, getting angry, “When did I sleep?” The young girl then said, “That’s even better, even if we talk loudly we won’t disturb you.”

The young woman said loudly, “Xiang’er, let me tell you, if you anger me, I will not allow you to follow us around tomorrow.” The young girl said, “It’s alright, I can travel together with Younger brother.” The woman said “Younger brother will come with me.” The young girl said, “Younger brother, say, who will you follow?”

The youth was caught in a fix, if he helped his big sister, his other sister would be upset, if he helped his other sister, his big sister would be angry, so he said, “Mother said, the three of us must always travel together and not be separated.”

The young woman stared at her younger sister and snapped, “If I had known that you would become so disobedient, I would not have been anxious to find you back when you got kidnapped by the thugs when you were small.”

The young girl heard her say that, causing her heart to soften, so she hugged the young woman’s shoulders, begging, “Good elder sister, please don’t be angry, it’s my fault.” The young woman was angry and paid no attention to her. The young girl then said, “If you don’t smile, I will tickle you.” That young woman turned her head away instead. The young girl suddenly extended her right hand and poked at the young woman’s armpit from behind. The young woman did not counter the move but swept her left hand backwards. The young girl used her left hand to block and her right hand continued to move forwards. The young woman sank her right elbow slightly, pressing down on her sister’s arm. The young girl then circled her palm and avoided the elbow, executing the graceful move beautifully. In that short moment, the two people exchanged seven or eight moves, all originating from the ingenious “Subtle Hand Arresting Technique”. Although the young girl did not manage to tickle her elder sister’s armpit, the young woman also could not catch her sister’s arm.

Suddenly a person in a corner softly said, “Good skills!” Both sisters stopped and looked at that corner and saw a person curled up into a ball, the head buried between the knees sleeping soundly. The sisters sat on a pile of firewood looking at him resting in such a position without moving at all. The other people were unable to see his face, so it looked like this comment was not made by him.

The youth said, “Big sister, elder sister, Father warned us not to reveal our martial arts casually.”

The young girl smiled, “Young old man, you are right.” She turned her head to the straightforward man and said, “Uncle Song, sorry, we sisters were busy arguing and forgot to listen to your story, please continue.”

The man named Song said, “I’m not spinning a yarn, this is the absolute truth and nothing but the truth.”

The young girl said, “Uncle Song, what you say is naturally true.”

The man drank the wine, saying with a smile, “I’ve consumed much of the lady’s wine and meat, how can I not tell all? If I had not lost all my money last night due to three confounded dice, I would really repay the lady. You keep addressing me as Uncle, how can I disappoint you? How did I get to know the Eagle Hero? It was similar to young General Wang; it was also the Eagle Hero who saved my life. But this time he actually didn’t use his Wugong (martial arts), he used money to buy my life back.” The young girl said with a smile, “Well, this is curious; he used money to buy your life? Eh, how much is it worth?”

That man laughed aloud and said, “My worthless body actually cost more than beef and pork because the Eagle Hero unexpectedly forked out 2,000 taels of silver for it. More than five years ago, I tried to uphold justice in Shandong and I killed a crook. Since murder carries the death penalty, I was sentenced to death so there was nothing for me to say. Who knew several days later, the Licheng county magistrate interrogated the local evil tyrant and later brought me forward for a torture session accusing me of crimes that local tyrant committed, murder, extortion, rape; all the blame was pushed onto me and the tyrant was acquitted. Afterwards the Prison

Warden told me that the tyrant bribed the County Magistrate with 1,000 taels of silver, so the County Magistrate transferred all his capital charges to me. A capital offence is punished with death; ten capital offences were also punished with death, so I was made a scapegoat. When I heard such injustice, I shouted loudly in my cell, scolding the corrupt official, but what use was that?”