Return of the Ascendant (The Ascendant Series) (9 page)

No, the reason for his heightened feelings of desire had only partly to do with his physical reaction to her. So why was he now desperate to have her…to feel her respond to him?

The answer was simple. He knew it because of how she’d reacted when she thought her Kyndred and Avana were in danger.

She’d learned her lesson on Earth. She had learned how to love.

And he wanted her heart.

Chapter 15

Memories blended with dreams. Kyra’s mind rolled from one scene to the next, struggling to separate truth from fantasy. Her emotions took a beating, flying high over some remembered accomplishment only to sink in despair over a devastating memory. Fear nearly overwhelmed her…fear that she’d never fully remember who she used to be, and an almost equal fear that she would.

She felt herself slowly surfacing from sleep. As she hovered on the edge of consciousness, another memory flashed through her mind.

“I do wish I could go outside for a bit, Mother,” she said, turning from the tall window in front of her to look at a striking woman with dark red hair and sky blue eyes.

“You know better than to address me so informally while in the company of others, Ma’jah,” her mother reminded her in a calm tone from her seat across the room. Her gaze moved pointedly to TaeDane, who stood only a few feet from Kyr.

Just like always,
Kyr thought with a mental huff. “But it is just Ty,” she said, not even glancing at her Mynder.

Her mother gave her another patient look. “You mean
Dem-Shyr
TaeDane, Ma’jah Kyr.”

Frustration made Kyr want to scream. The stupid ceremony to officially make Ty her Mynder had happened a couple of months before. She didn’t see why everything had to change just because of that. Why did she have to be followed everywhere she went? Why were there so many more restrictions on her behavior? Why couldn’t she call her parents Mother and Father anymore?

She turned a sharp glare in Ty’s direction. This was all his fault.

He didn’t bat an eye even though he surely picked up every vile thought she directed at him. That only infuriated her more.

“I wish to go outside,
Guardian
,” she said, emphasizing the title in a petulant manner. “It isn’t as though I have requested to personally visit every megai in the land. I am kept under constant watch and never see anyone outside of the limited Alametrians you permit me to see. How am I supposed to become the Ascendant when I know only a tiny portion of the planet’s population?”

Her mother shook her head. “We have had this conversation, Ma’jah. It is unsafe and unwise for you to be exposed to all of Alametria before you have undergone your lessons.
Dem-Shyr
TaeDane also needs more time to get to know and understand you so that he may protect you as thoroughly as possible. Once you return to Alametria, you will meet everyone else.”

The memory faded. Kyra thought she heard the sound of murmured voices and struggled to wake up. Her mind and body felt sluggish and defeated, like she’d been through a battle. Rolling onto her side, she came into contact with a pillow. Ty’s scent rose from it, propelling her into another memory.

She wasn’t feeling well. Her lower abdomen was swollen and tender. It had been paining her for the better part of the day. It was unlike the discomfort of eating too many sweets. She had never felt anything like it.

Figuring her mother would confine her to bed for the rest of the week if she found out about the ailment, Kyr kept it to herself. By the time the mid-day meal was to be served, though, she thought she might have to say something. The pain was growing in intensity, as though someone was taking her insides and squeezing them mercilessly.

“Are you all right, Ma’jah?” Ty asked.

He studied her intently as she held her belly and fought the pain. His concern irritated her. No one else had to share every small part of their lives with another like she did. He could read her mind whenever he wanted. He knew things that she would much rather keep private.

It wasn’t fair! He had only been her Mynder for six months. How could he expect her to feel comfortable with him knowing every one of her secrets?

“I am fine,” she snapped.

But she wasn’t. Her abdomen was so sore. She couldn’t decide if she really had to use the bathroom or she was going to vomit. Something wasn’t right. She should have told her mother. The Guardians could have gotten one of the Rowe to evaluate her and offer treatment.

Hurrying to the water closet, she closed the door in Ty’s face. The door had no lock, but he wasn’t allowed to stand in the room with her, thank the great Yen-Ki. It was bad enough that he was mentally connected to her during such a personal time. She had no idea if he tuned in or not, but it was maddening nonetheless.

Lifting her skirts, she sat on the excrement tank. Sitting brought her some relief, but not much. Glancing down, she spotted her undergarments…which were covered in blood.

Her head swam. She hadn’t bled since she fell and scraped both knees just after learning to walk. Seeing this much blood from an unseen wound had her tilting on the tank. Only one thought got through.

Ty!

He opened the door and stepped in as though he had been waiting for her call for help. She wanted to tell him what was wrong, but the words wouldn’t come. Her eyes couldn’t seem to lift from the stained fabric gathered at her feet.

“Remain calm, Ma’jah,” he said.

His hand touched her shoulder. A sense of calm came over her. She knew he was influencing her, but couldn’t find any reason to take exception to it. After a moment, she looked up at him. She expected to see disgust or alarm. His expression reflected neither. For once, she was grateful for his ability to control his reactions.

“I need aid,” she said at last.

He shook his head. “I do not believe you are in any danger. Unless I am mistaken, you have started menstruating.”

“What? Menstruate? What is that?”

He hesitated. “Kyr, when a female menstruates, she becomes fertile. That means she may bear children.”

Even in her induced state of calm, she lifted her eyebrows. “But I thought the Rowe were responsible for initiating a female’s fertility. It is only done when a female has been matched with her mate, after the repression has been removed by a Mynder.”

“That is true. I have never heard of a female beginning her menstrual cycle without the intervention of the Rowe. I can only guess that things are different with you because you are the Ascendant.” He glanced at the door, then back at her. “I imagine if anyone else should find out, you will be treated by the Rowe. Your fertility cycle will be stopped.”

“So this pain will go away?”

He nodded, his gaze enigmatic. “And you will be put into the standard state of repression.”

She knew what that meant. It meant she would no longer experience the flush of excitement and pleasure she got when she caught Ty training without a shirt on. Her pulse and blood pressure would remain the same regardless of how close he stood to her. She would no longer have to hide her confusing feelings for him with barbed comments and anger…because she wouldn’t have those feelings at all.

Catching his gaze, she whispered, “Ty?”

“Yes?”

“Can we keep this to ourselves?”

The sound of Sam’s—
Sem’s
voice finally pulled Kyra out of sleep. She blinked a few times against the bright sunlight coming in through the windows. Her gaze moved to the bedroom door, where Ty stood with his back to her. She guessed he was talking to Sem in the hallway, since she had heard her friend’s voice. Their voices were so low that she couldn’t make out what was being said. Judging by the general tone of what she did hear, the two cousins were arguing about something.

“Not now, Sem,” Ty said more forcefully.

When Sem started to protest, Ty stepped back into the room and closed the door on his words. Kyra sat up, wondering what had gotten the two guys so worked up.

“Is everything all right?” she asked.

His gaze jumped to hers. She realized he hadn’t known she was awake. That reminded her about the mental block in place now, which kept him from knowing her every thought.

“Sem is…anxious to see you,” he said, running a hand through his slightly mussed hair. It was more caramel colored in the daylight, she realized. The sunlight reflected off numerous golden highlights mixed in with the brown.

She frowned as his words registered. She was the cause of the argument? That didn’t sit well with her.

“Have I been in bed all day or something?” She looked around but didn’t see a clock.

“You slept for nearly eight hours. It’s almost noon.”

Too bad she felt like she hadn’t slept a wink, she thought. Maybe that was because of all the dreaming. “I think I remembered more stuff last night.”

He moved closer to the bed. “Did you? What stuff?”

She thought about the first memory. “I was asking my mother if I could go outside. She didn’t want me to. I didn’t get to go out much, did I?”

“No. Only rarely, and only in the palace gardens.”

“So I never traveled anywhere outside of the, uh, palace?”

“Not before your lessons began, no.”

“Oh.” She went back through the memory for more details. “What is a megai?”

“To put it into terms humans would understand, a megai is what you might think of as a kingdom or a country. Mynders, for example, come from the Dane megai.”

“So, Dane isn’t a family name, but a name representing your megai?”

“Yes.”

That surprised her. Since Sem and Ty were cousins and shared the name Dane, she had assumed it was a surname.

“Do all Mynders live in the Dane megai?” she asked.

“Many do, but not all. I, for example, live in the palace, which is in the Vawn megai. Sem and a number of other Mynders also live in the palace to protect you and the Guardians. Our families live in the Dane megai, however.”

She frowned. “So you never get to see your families?”

“Of course we do. We aren’t forbidden to leave, and they can always travel to the Vawn megai. Think of it like having family in another state or country here on Earth.”

Her frown eased. “Oh, good. That makes sense. I think I remember that there are Alametrians from many different megais living at the palace.”

“That’s correct. What else did you remember?”

The last dream flashed through her mind, but she didn’t want to talk about that one. “Nothing,” she said a little too quickly. Tossing back the covers, she climbed out of bed. She froze when she felt cool air on her legs. “What happened to my jeans?”

“They’re on the edge of the bathtub.”

“Uh…okay.”

Had she taken them off? She couldn’t remember much after Ty started kissing her. Actually, she remembered a lot of things after kissing Ty…just not from current events.

Tugging at the bottom of her T-shirt, she said, “Well, I’ll get ready and we can go and chat with Sem.”

She didn’t wait for his response, feeling vulnerable in her half-naked state. Once she was in the bathroom, she did what she could to get groomed for the day, beginning with putting her pants back on. She used the toothbrush she had found the night before and tugged her hair back into a ponytail. As she had the night before, she considered hopping in the shower. Thinking of transitioning while naked held her off, though. She made due with an unsatisfactory sponge bath and then headed back out into the bedroom.

Ty didn’t say anything to her when she emerged. She expected him to ask her more about what she remembered, maybe see if she wanted to kiss him again. But he just opened the door and walked out to scout for danger on the way to the kitchen without giving her a second glance.

Why was he suddenly acting so distant? Had she drawn the wrong conclusion about his feelings for her based on the memories that had surfaced? Maybe the kissing had solely been a device to stimulate her memories, and not an act of intimacy at all.

That thought stung like hell.

“Finally,” Sem said, grinning at her as they walked into the living area. He was sitting on the couch watching television. “Sleeping Beauty has graced us with her presence.”

“Ha, ha,” she said with a roll of her eyes.

Sem’s gaze moved between her and Ty. “For a minute there, I thought your Mynder was keeping you all to himself.”

Even though he’d said it in a joking tone, his comment bothered her. She didn’t want to come between the cousins. To distract him, she glanced at the TV.

“
When Animals Attack?
” she said, giving him a look that said,
Really?

Shrugging, he reached into the box of sugary cereal on his lap and stuffed some into his mouth. “What? It’s interesting. And I’m getting in as much TV viewing as I can before we leave. I’ll miss it.”

“Miss it? You mean there’s no TV on Alametria?”

“Nope,” Sem answered, his eyes glued to the show. “No TV, no phones, no personal computers or internet. No electricity either. Everything runs on alternative forms of energy. Alametria is pretty low-tech outside of our interstellar travel and medical equipment. We learned our lesson a thousand or so years ago when AI destroyed half the planet.”

AI? She tried to reason that out. “Artificial Intelligence?”

Sem nodded. “Yep. I figure humans have another hundred years at this pace, give or take. Then they’ll find out the hard way that when it comes to tech, less is more.”

She frowned, looking from him to the TV. Then she shook her head. It was too early for this in-depth conversation.

Sem looked at her when she didn’t reply. Holding up the box of cereal, he shook it. “Want some?”

She hid a yawn behind her hand. “No, thanks. Not that sugar-loaded crap, anyway.”

Snorting, Sem said, “Judging by that yawn, the sugar might help you wake up. I figured you’d be more rested after sleeping in.”

“Yeah,” she said as she walked to the kitchen and opened the pantry door. “Guess I’m still tired after all of the memory retrieval stuff last night.”

“What memory retrieval stuff?”

She decided on an English muffin and pulled the package off the shelf. “Well, Ty wanted to try k—”