Return of the Assassin (All the King's Men) (22 page)

Gina bit her lip and looked at her hands in her lap. "That explains his behavior tonight."

He nodded. "Yes. He's literally been Jekyll and Hyde. Two minds inhabiting one body."

She paled and looked almost sick. "And he's been like this for weeks?"

"Since just a few days after you left. He's gotten steadily worse."

"That's why you wanted me to come back." The lightbulb turned on over her head.

He nodded. "That's right."

"Why didn't you just say so in your e-mails?"

"Maybe I should have, but I thought it might have scared you away, not brought you back."

She considered that for a moment and nodded. "It might have. I don't know. I was pretty messed up myself."

"And now you know why." Micah had seen everything in her mind. How Malek had awakened her past, as well as how being away from him had sent her into agonizing anxiety attacks nearly every day.

"Yes, now I know why." She looked away again, stared out the window, then turned back with a sigh.

But there was more. Micah had also seen how Gina was more like Malek than she realized, and he needed her to see the truth. He got up and sat down next to her on the bed. "Gina, I know what Armand did to you, and I don't think you fully realize how badly it impacted you."

She turned and frowned at him. "What do you mean?"

He took her hand and closed his eyes against the pain that rolled through her mind. She was reliving the hell Armand had been. "Gina, you're so strong. Stronger than most females. To survive what Armand did to you…" He bowed his head. "I don't know how you did it, but…" He took a deep breath. This would be hard for her to hear. "Most females who endure what you went through would have become a sexual invalid. But you didn't, did you?"

Their gazes met, and he could see the guilt and fear in her eyes.

"You're like Malek, Gina."

She shook her head and began to protest.

Micah shushed her. "Yes, you are. You tucked away your pain and shoved it into the shadows of your mind. You never addressed it. Even now, you think on some level that you brought Armand's wrath on yourself…that somehow you're to blame…that you weren't good enough and deserved to be abused."

Tears welled in her eyes, but he felt her fight them back. For too long she had been a wall of strength, but she needed to let those tears fall. She needed to rid herself of the sorrow and hurt Armand had caused.

Micah squeezed her hand. "You began to see sex as a tool instead of a way to become emotionally close to someone. Sex became a means to an end. A way to get close to a target." His gaze drilled hers. "Like with Lakota. You charmed him with your body to get close to Severin, and you fulfilled your need for pleasure in doing so."

Her face strained in her effort not to cry, and her chin quivered.

"You haven't had a real relationship since Armand, have you?" Micah didn't need her to agree. He had already seen the truth in her mind. She had been alone since Armand. "One-night stands. Maybe a two-week fling here or there. Or a month. But as soon as a male began to get too close, you bolted. But now…" He shrugged. "You can't run anymore, Gina. Malek's your mate. If you run from him, both of you will suffer. He needs you. But more importantly,
you
need
him.
The two of you can heal each other."

For a long moment, Gina only stared at him as emotion rose and pulled at her soul, and then she flung herself at him as she burst into tears. Her arms flew around him as she buried her face against his chest and sobbed as years of guilt and fear poured out of her.

Micah held and rocked her as he brushed his hand over her hair "Ssshh. It's okay. I know what you're going through, Gina. I went through it, too." He tried to soothe her. "You're strong enough to get through this, and Malek will help you. The two of you will help each other through this." He sighed and added under his breath, "Once he gets his head out of his ass."
And gets his ass over here.

They sat like that for a while, Micah rocking her as she cried, until he said quietly, "You and Malek are so goddamn similar. You each internalized your painful pasts and hid from them. But while you turned sex into a tool, Malek became celibate. Well, until recently."

Gina pushed back and stared at him through bloodshot eyes. "Celibate?"

Micah grinned and nodded. "Yeah, well, he's making up for that now, isn't he?"

"Don't remind me." She sniffed and wiped her face with her hands.

"Do you want to know what Malek's idea of a good time has been since Carmen died?" Micah said.

She rolled her eyes. "Do I want to hear this?"

"Good point, but yes, I think you need to."

She grabbed a tissue from the bedside table and continued to dab her eyes. "Fine. Let's hear it."

He shifted back to the easy chair. "Until Malek met you, he hadn't touched another female since Carmen. Not a single one. That's how devoted he is as a mate. He refused to be with anyone else." He paused and slowly shook his head at what Malek had put himself through. "There's a strip club here in town called the Black Garter, and once a month he went there, paid for a private dance, watched, got himself sexed up, and went home alone to tend to his own needs. That's all the pleasure he allowed himself. And then he met you, and decades of sexual dysfunction boiled over as he struggled to accept what Mother Nature had done to him."

Gina sniffed and took a heavy breath. "What are you saying?"

"I'm saying that despite what he did tonight, and as messed up as his mind is right now, Malek's heart is in a good place. He's a good male and a noble mate. Once he accepts he can join with you and not damage Carmen's memory, you will be the center of his world. He's thoughtful, considerate, and any female would be lucky to have him. He treated Carmen like a queen. He'll treat you the same way. I know he will."

Her expression still held an ounce of doubt, but she looked like she believed him. And was that hope he saw in her eyes?

"Okay, so let's say I believe you. What now? I mean, what can I do? He doesn't seem willing to accept me as his mate. Completely the opposite, in fact."

"He just needs a little push, Gina."

"A little push? Like what?"

Micah tilted his head to one side. Sometimes he couldn't believe he had to spell out what was so obvious. "Believe me, Gina. It won't take much for you to convince him. He's a mated male for God's sake. He wants you. Invite him in."

She pulled back and hesitated as his words sank in. "In? As in…?"

"Yes. As in…
in
."

She blushed and averted her gaze. "How am I supposed to do that?"

Micah sat back and arched an eyebrow. Really? Would he have to stay and guide Malek's pecker into home base, too? "He's a male, Gina. For you—his mate—it won't be hard to persuade him. Trust me. If you provide the right…
persuasion,
he won't be able to refuse."

She shifted uncomfortably, looked away, then down, then back up.

Micah angled a questioning glance at her. "Are we on the same page then?"

Her eyes darted away, but she nodded. "Yeah, we're on the same page, but after what he did tonight, he's not going to get off so easily. I can tell you that much."

Micah grinned. Gina was feisty. Malek had his hands full with this one, but Micah had a feeling Malek would like having his hands full. Gina was perfect for him. And he was perfect for her. These two were going to be one hell of a power couple once they got out of their own way long enough to seal the deal.

Now, all they needed was Malek to cooperate and get there. Preferably before dawn. All this talk about Sam and mates made him homesick for the comfort of her embrace.

* * *

Blue balls didn't begin to describe the ache in Malek's scrotum. But that pain was nothing compared to the ache in his chest that threatened to consume him.

He had fucked up. He never should have brought Lorena home. He should have manned up and—

No, he had already decided Gina was better off without him. Going there would just bring more heartache. She needed more than he could give.

Malek sucked in his breath. Wait a minute. What had happened tonight? Why had Gina behaved the way she did?

He stood and paced, his face a study in confusion. Gina had busted into his bedroom like a female scorned. He glanced at his shattered bathroom door and recalled how she had attacked Lorena with the ferocity of a cyclone. Gina acted like a…oh God! Females didn't normally form such strong attachments to a male when they—well damn! Her link to him was just as strong as his to her. That's why she had attacked Lorena. She had been fending off competition for his affection.

Affection he had withheld from her. Affection she wanted. From him.

Awareness snapped inside his mind. Everything but Gina fell away. Even Carmen's memory. Suddenly Gina was the center of his universe, all-important, second to nothing and no one.

What had he done? He had caused her pain. Just as he was hurting now, she was likely hurting just as badly. She needed him.

His mate needed him, goddamn it!

He tore up the stairs and through the kitchen. In that instant, an instinctual awareness as old as time crackled and ruptured through every cell in his body. Everything but the need to ease his mate fell to the background. How long had Gina been gone? Too long, but he could track her. He had to. He needed to find her and make this right. Knowing that she had bonded to him as he had to her, and that she was out there without him, miserable and hurting, half and not whole, ripped his heart to shreds.

He pulled the door open and nearly barreled into Severin, who was about to ring the bell.

Sev jumped back to avoid the collision, but grabbed Malek's wrist. "Don't you answer your phone, asshole?"

His phone. Maybe Gina had called him. He pulled free of Sev's hold and ran back downstairs to find his phone, turned off, on the dresser. Sev followed and parked at the foot of the stairs as Malek waited for the phone to turn back on.

"Malek?"

"Not now, Sev? I need to find Gina." Malek turned and started to rush past him, but Sev stopped him.

"That's why I'm here, dumbass. She's at Micah's apartment downtown."

Malek turned and grabbed Sev's shirt. "Why didn't you tell me?"

Sev threw off his hold. "If you'd answer your damn phone, you would have known a half hour ago, asshole."

"Is she okay? Is she hurt? Is—"

Sev held up a hand. "Save your questions for Micah. I'm just the messenger."

"You've got to know something, Sev."

"All I know is that she called Trevor and was really upset. And then I guess she had some kind of panic attack. Micah went and got her and took her to his place."

Malek turned and started back up the stairs as his phone dinged and showed six missed calls, all from Sev.

"Micah wants your ass there by dawn," Sev shouted after him.

But Malek was already out the door, on his way. Damn. He had left his truck outside Four Alarm. His truck couldn't get him there fast enough, anyway. He needed to project to Micah's balcony.

As he turned to mist, he heard Sev chuckle and mutter from the front porch, "Go get your mate, dumbass. Don't worry. I'll lock up."

Gina's mind swam with all that Micah had told her. Malek's behavior made more sense now that she knew about Carmen and what he had gone through for longer than she had been alive, but that still didn't excuse Malek's actions tonight. Okay fine, she was his mate. She accepted that. And what Micah said about the two of them healing each other might be true, but she sure as hell wasn't going to sit back and not let Malek know he had overstepped a boundary. Hell no.

"Come on," Micah said, "let's get you something to eat."

Gina nodded and cast aside her mental tirade. Her appetite had found its way back to her stomach, and she could use some food. Maybe an omelet. That sounded good. "Yeah, sure."

She followed him out of the room and down the hall, but before they reached the living room, Micah stopped so suddenly that she nearly plowed into his back.

What the…?

"It's about time you showed up," he said.

Gina frowned. Who was he talking to? Then she got a whiff of the male who had captured her soul.

Malek was there. He had come for her.

It took an act of God to remind her that she was pissed at the guy.

"Where is she?" Malek spoke from across the room.

Her heart skipped from just the sound of his voice, and she stepped out from behind Micah. "
She
is here." She scowled and wrinkled her nose as the stench of that…
female
—and she was being polite—permeated her senses.

"Okay," Micah said with a glance her way as she crossed her arms and backed into the kitchen. "I can see that you two need to talk." He pointed toward her. "Gina, leave the knives in the block."

She glanced to the side and saw an impressive set of knives sticking out of a wooden stand and held her hands up as if she had no intention of drawing Malek's blood.

Malek's gaze fixed on her and never wavered. The guy looked seriously strung out.

Micah grinned sympathetically and sighed, and as he strolled past Malek, leaned in and said, "You should have showered before you came."

Malek's brow ticked as he glanced at Micah, and then he sniffed himself.

Yeah, big guy. Get a whiff of that bitch on your clothes, in your skin…in your goddamn hair. And you got pissed off because Trevor bit me. Hypocrite.

Micah must have picked up her inner dialogue, because he passed her a wary look before glancing back at Malek. "Good luck, buddy." He gave Malek a gentle pat on the shoulder. "You'll need it, but don't you dare leave this apartment until the two of you have worked this out."

With his gaze locked to hers, Malek said, "That's why I'm here. To make things right."

Micah patted his shoulder again. "Good man. That's what I want to hear." Then he stepped outside. A moment later, he was gone.

It was just the two of them.

And shit was about to get real.

Malek took a step toward her. "Gina—"

"I don't want to hear it." She spun and took off down the hall as if the kitchen were on fire.

"Gina, wait." Malek hurried after her. "Please listen to me."

She twirled and shoved him away. "Get away from me, Malek. After what you did tonight, just stay back." Who did he think he was to come here still smelling like that skank? The least he
could have done was shower. But no, he had to bring her nasty smell here and add insult to injury. "I have to be the stupidest female on the planet," she said under her breath.

"I'm sorry, Gina. God, I'm so sorry."

But she wasn't ready to forgive him. She was still too angry and hurt. "Sorry? Were you sorry when you brought that whore into your house and fucked her under my nose? Huh?" Aggression burst from her like an explosion, and she shoved past him out into the hall again before spinning around to confront him as he charged after her. "You fucked another female in front of me, Malek! Is that how a mated male behaves? Is that the respect a female deserves from her mate?"

Why deny the obvious any longer? They were mates. She knew it. He knew it. It was time to cut through the shit and lay the cards on the table. One way or the other, tonight they would deal with the link that tethered them to one another.

"No, but…"

She batted him away and fled back into the bedroom. Adrenaline coursed through her. She had to keep moving. If she didn't, she would give in to the rising arousal he stirred in her belly simply from his proximity, even though he carried the reminder of his infidelity on his skin. "You
stink
. You smell like
her
." Her nose crinkled again as she paced to the other side of the room near the windows and crossed her arms. Then uncrossed them. She couldn't stand still. Nervous energy flirted with sexual hunger, and war raged within her body to distance herself from him, as well as throw him to the bed and take possession of what belonged to her.

He followed and reached for her hands, but she slapped him away. "Don't touch me. Get away from me, Malek." Even as she said the words, she wanted nothing more than his hands on her body.

Hurt and misery smeared his expression. "Please Gina, let me explain. I've been dying a slow death without you. I just didn't know—"

She held up her hands, dodged him, and shot back out of the room as he rushed after her. "You? You've been dying a slow death? I've been miserable for weeks, Malek, and all this time I thought it was because I didn't want to be mated. When all along it was because…" She fumed as she trailed off, angry with him for stealing her moment of realization from her earlier. When she had finally figured out the source of her anxiety and accepted the reality, ready to take her place by his side, he had abandoned her for another female.

In the living room, she paced and swatted him away as he reached for her again, and then hurried back to the bedroom. When she spun back toward the door, he blocked the exit. She was trapped.

"Gina—"

"Just shut up, Malek!" Under the bitch's scent, he smelled delicious. So inviting. "Males are nothing but trouble. Especially you! You're the worst kind of trouble I don't need!" But she did need him. And with every second that ticked by, her resolve to push him away cracked a little more. The side of her that had bound itself to him bullied its way through, pushing aside restraint and anger to feed her desire and make her too weak to hold back much longer.

He continued toward her with cautious steps, one arm slightly raised, his palm facing her, as if he were trying to capture a feral cat and didn't want to spook it. "I'm sorry, Gina. Please let me make this better." Anguish etched the lines of his face, and suffering roiled in the depths of his eyes. Malek was clearly in agony over what he'd done to her.

"Malek, don't. Just don't." She was faltering. He was here. Her mate was here. And no matter what he had done, the desire to go to him was more powerful than her anger. They were like polar atoms, one positive, one negative, drawn to each other to connect and form a brand new molecule. Something neither could do alone.

"Please, Gina…" Guilt wafted from him as he slowly closed the distance between them.

But she no longer had the strength to flee. Furthermore, she didn't want to. As much as she hated what he had done to her, and as much as she wanted to stay angry at him, she wanted to be with him more.

"Gina…" He took one last step toward her, and his warmth spread around her.

The two of them stood in silence for what felt like a long time, but he didn't try to touch her. It was almost as if he didn't want to break the fragile moment they had found together. One where she had to fit herself into a new reality she had fought for decades and only just now considered trying on for size again. But Malek fit like a favorite pair jeans. Had she doubted he would? After all, he was the other half of her, the greener grass on the other side of the fence, the brighter light without the rose-colored glasses to taint or cloud his image. Malek was everything that she needed to be complete. He was perfect, beautiful, and majestic.

"Look at me, Gina." With the tips of his fingers under her chin, he lifted her face.

Her fury was tapped out, depleted by expulsion, as well as by his presence. The mating bond was already doing its job, making them better individuals by fusing them into one. As she looked into his magical, dark brown eyes, her fears and pain evaporated, and she could almost feel his doing the same.

"I need you," he said.

Peace settled inside her, and her tension eased. Once again, she belonged to someone, but this time Mother Nature had gotten it right. Malek would be everything Micah said he would, and he would treat her like a queen. And he would be her king. Somehow she just knew this was true. They would be a mated force to be reckoned with, perfect complements for one another, a synergistic combination that made them exponentially stronger together than apart. And any male—or female—who attempted to put asunder what biology had linked through nature would learn the true meaning of defeat, because from this day forward, she and Malek were no longer two, but one. And nothing would tear them apart.

She closed her eyes.
My mate. My life.

The two remained suspended in their surrender to one another for a heartbeat, and then Malek moaned a fraction of a second before hormonal heat wafted from his body through hers.

Oh my God!
Mating heat. Strong, heady, and undeniable. She gasped and swayed against him, unable to steady herself.

He melted into her. "No more running from each other. No more denying the truth."

Her eyes lifted to his, and excitement and desire flared through her as he pulled her against him.

Another pulse of heat throttled her, and she moaned deep in her throat as her fingers clutched fistfuls of his shirt. She closed her eyes again and wavered as she fought for air.

He groaned and wobbled on shaky legs, a slave to his calling, which seemed to be beating the hell out of him now that he was near her. "Gina…God, I need you. I've always needed you. I just didn't know." As he whispered, his voice deepened to a dark and provocative roll of syllables until he groaned again through another swell of mating heat. The force of the surge caused his knees to buckle, and they staggered until her back slammed against the wall.

In an instant, she was back in his arms, and his nose pressed against the side of her neck as he purred through each labored inhale. "Gina, Gina…so beautiful." The warmth of his breath sent a shiver through her body. "I sat in that cell with you every day…watching you
sleep…wishing I could take away your pain. And when I was given the opportunity to make good on my wish, what did I do?" His lips traced a seductive line to her ear. "I caused you more pain," he whispered. "I'm so sorry. I swear on my life I'll never hurt you again."

She couldn't speak, could hardly breathe, swept into the forces drifting and vibrating from his body, beating the air around them into a frenzy of erotic energy. His words lifted her, carried her, and caressed the deepest, most vulnerable corners of her soul. She had needed to hear him express himself this way…to tell her he was as much enraptured by her as she was by him.

His body called to hers again, and she couldn't stop herself from answering. She rocked toward him and tucked her nose against the side of his neck. If only he didn't smell of another, the moment would be nearly utopian.

Flames lit in her core. Possessive flames. He was hers. No one else's. And if he was going to smell of anyone, it would be her, not that mutty tyke she had found him with earlier. She sprang to action and grabbed his shirt. "Micah was right. You should have showered, Malek." She yanked up the hem and drove her hands underneath to lift the shirt up his torso.

Need spurred her, demanded she mark him now for eternity, and she practically shredded his shirt as she tore it over his head and from his outstretched arms and tossed it to the floor.

In a blink, his arms were back around her. "You're so damn perfect." His voice held a lusty note of abandon, his hands molding to her body, tugging at the fabric of her top. Malek was a male losing himself to what was left of his calling, his mind of a single purpose. He needed to mate. With her. Now.

And she wouldn't stop him. Not anymore. Not ever again.

He wobbled drunkenly under her onslaught. In an instant, her fingers went to work on the zipper of his pants. Within seconds, he stripped off the last of his clothes as she whipped Sam's shirt over her head and tossed it
aside.

"You belong to me, Malek." She snagged his arm and tugged him to the bathroom. "You're mine. From now on, I own you."

She turned on the shower as his fingers hooked the elastic waist of her pants. "I'm yours," he said.

In a blink, they were both naked and tumbling into the shower in a tangle of limbs.

"I'm yours," he said again, lifting her. His eyelids hung heavily over his lust-darkened eyes. "Only yours."

Cool water quickly warmed, and she threw her legs around his hips, ready to give herself to him. Malek
was
worthy. With Malek, she had a future, and after so much heartache, she finally believed that she
could
have it all. She and Malek would heal each other, and together they would put their pasts behind them.