Rev (Jack 'Em Up #4) (15 page)

“Never mind.” He stood and yanked up his half-eaten cereal and headed to the sink. “I’ll drive you home so you can get to work on time.”

I stared at his back, willing my anxious heart to settle. Was he really saying what I thought he was? Could I dare hope or would he just break me? “I’ve wanted to be with you for a long time.”

He spun around at my quiet, heartfelt words. “What was that?”

“I think I’ve wanted to be with you since the day we first met. Definitely since Starbucks.” I swallowed, wondering where this bravado was coming from. I’d squelched my own strength ever since it’d been tossed in my face and nearly beaten from me. “I just don’t see how you could want to be with me. It feels too good to be true.”

We stared openly at each other for several long moments. I’d spoken my truth, though I didn’t know how I managed it. The thought that it was Micah and his quiet support echoed in the back of my mind.

“I’m not too good to be true, Jewel,” he finally said, his voice rough and gritty. “You are.”

“No.” I stood and shoved away from the table.

“You have no idea what I’ve done. What baggage I carry around. I could hurt you.”

I froze. “You wouldn’t.”

His face melted as he realized what he’d said. “No. I’d never hurt you like that. I meant that I’d be no good for your heart. I can’t give what I don’t have.”

“So, what are you saying?”

His head dropped. “I don’t know.”

I studied the top of his head, assessing the situation. My heart was definitely on the line, but the urge to help heal his propelled me onward. “Well, let me see if I can piece it together. You think, maybe, you might want to be more than friends, but you’re afraid you’ll break my heart because you’re such an awful person. Is that about right?”

“Yes.” The word sounded like it was ripped from his throat.

Hope spiraled on butterfly’s wings through my chest. I stepped his way, my feet moving on faith that had sprung up from some unknown well. “I don’t think you’re an awful person,” I whispered, “and I can’t think of anything that would change my mind about that.”

“Don’t be so sure.” His eyes were wary as I stepped further into his personal space.

“Yeah?” I took a chance and brushed a hand through his hair.

His eyes flitted closed momentarily as the breath left his body in a whoosh. “Yeah.”

“Why don’t you let me be the judge of that?”

He stiffened.

“Are you a thief?” I asked.

“No.”

“A rapist?”

“God, no.”

“Have you ever intentionally lied to me?”

“No.”

“Broken any major laws lately? Speeding doesn’t count.” I smiled.

“Nope.”

“Cheated on a woman?”

“There haven’t been many women, but no. Never.”

“Anything else grievous I should know about?”

His eyes squeezed shut. “Yes.”

I cupped his jaw. “Micah. Look at me.”

It obviously pained him, but he did.

“Whatever happened over there doesn’t matter to me, other than it hurts you. It was war. Bad things happen. I hope someday you’ll trust me enough to tell me the whole story, but please don’t think I’ll judge you.”

The moment pulsed heavily between us, weighted down in both of our fear.

“I won’t judge you either.”

That was it. He broke me. I crumpled into his arms and he didn’t hesitate to wrap me up and hold me close as I clutched him like a frightened child.

“Do you wanna be with me?” His breath puffed across my temple as I kept my face buried in his chest.

I nodded. “Do you really want to be with me?”

“More than you know.”

I lifted my head to face him. “Are you sure?”

“God, Jewel, I’m more than sure, which makes me a selfish prick.”

“You won’t hurt me.”

He said nothing, clearly not convinced.

His body heat blanketed the front of my body and his citrusy ocean musk filled me. So did his sadness and his pain and his hope. “Let’s do it.”

His eyes widened and I couldn’t help my grin.

“I meant, let’s try it. Being together. We can take it in baby steps.”

His grip on my hips tightened. “Are you serious?”

“Well . . .” My hands slid up to his shoulders. “If you don’t mind a slightly insecure girl who doesn’t like Star Wars.”

“I can live with that if you can handle a slightly insecure guy who doesn’t talk too much.”

I laughed. He didn’t realize it, but we communicated just fine. “I think I can handle it.”

Micah dropped me off at my apartment that morning and kissed me goodbye, the moment we shared in his kitchen still fresh in the air between us. We’d made our relationship official in not so many words, and we were both a little stunned.

I watched him drive away and blew him a kiss just because I could, and he rewarded me with a giant smile.

Humming, I spun and walked to my front door. I shoved my key in the lock and looked down.

A scream bubbled up in my throat and I leapt back. There, on my front mat, a blood red rose laid nestled in black tissue paper. My body went numb and my fingers became blocks of ice as I fumbled with the door lock. I glanced toward the parking lot just as my door gave way and opened.

There, sitting in a generic blue car, he stared, his eyes begging me to recognize him and fall down in fear.

Terror ripped up my spine, clawing at my vertebrae, but I managed to shove open my door and jump inside. I slammed the bolt lock and slid the chain with shaking fingers, working on autopilot.

I wanted to slide to the floor and cower, but I refused. Instead, I walked to the front window, cell phone in hand. On a deep breath, I peeked through the blinds to make sure my mind wasn’t playing tricks on me.

I wasn’t crazy.

Nolan had found me.

Before I had time to consider confronting him, he reversed and sped out of the lot. I tried to read his license plate, but he was moving too fast.

I sagged into my recliner and waded through my confusion and fear.

He’d found me.

Now what?

My phone buzzed in my hand and I jumped, a startled yelp on my lips.

Have a good day : )

Micah’s innocent words mocked me. I desperately wanted him to be my future, but I was trapped. My past had caught up with me. It was time to deal with it or lay down and submit. I’d be damned.

I shot Micah a reply:
He’s here

Then I called the police.

Micah

I’
d just pulled into the Jack ‘Em Up lot when Jewel’s text came through.

He’s here

Every cell in my body clenched in anger and impotent fear. I made a squealing donut in the lot and sped back toward her, dialing as I flew into traffic, earning myself a long, angry honk.

I didn’t care. I had to get to her.

She didn’t answer. I dialed again. Nothing.

The seven minutes back to her apartment felt like an eternity as my stomach ate itself up with anxiety. That fucker had found her and I hadn’t been there to protect her.

I skidded into her apartment’s parking lot and relief slid through me when I spotted a beautiful blond head next to a police officer at his cruiser.

I parked two spots over and leapt from the Jeep to stride her way.

She glanced up. Her face was pale and drawn, and surprise lit her eyes when she saw me. I immediately collected her into my arms, ignoring the officer. “Are you all right?”

She nodded and drew back with a weak smile. “Just a little shaken up.”

I kept my hold firmly around her waist as she turned back to the cop, who was taking her statement.

“Miss Jackson, are you sure it was Nolan Watkins? Could you have been mistaken?” he asked, his pen poised above his worn notebook.

“I’m sure.”

He mmmhmmmed and wrote a few notes. “And you have a restraining order against him?” he asked without glancing up.

“Yes. It was filed in Sarasota County if you need to check.”

As I listened to her tell him about the roses and him sitting in the parking lot this morning, I rubbed small circles on her back in a show of comfort, though my primal urge to protect her and rip that fucker apart was still surging through my veins.

The officer glanced up, his eyes sincere. “Did he violate the terms of the restraining order today?”

Her face fell. “Well . . . not technically, I guess.”

His gaze drifted to me then back as he tucked his notepad away. “Then there’s not much I can do at this point other than make a note of your complaint. If he does come into direct contact with you or do anything else threatening, please let us know.”

She nodded and he left her his card. I was fuming by the time I got her back inside.

“What the fuck was that?” I didn’t mean to direct my anger at her, but this was bullshit. How could she have an actual legal document that said he couldn’t get near her, but the cops couldn’t do anything when he was obviously taunting her?

She sunk to the couch and dropped her face into her hands. “He’s right. He didn’t get within fifty feet of me, he didn’t touch me, hell, he didn’t even speak to me.”

“Still . . .” Deflated, I sat next to her.

She studied me with weary green eyes. “What’re you doing here?”

“Seriously? I would’ve gotten here sooner if my Jeep could fly. Fuck, Jewel. You texted me he was here and you didn’t think I’d come? After this morning?”

Tears began to drizzle down her cheeks and I felt like a total asshole.

“I’m sorry, baby.” I scooped her into my embrace and kissed her head. “I was just scared.”

“Don’t be sorry. I’m scared, too. You should’ve seen his face. He wants to finish what he started.”

God damn motherfucking son-of-a-bitch. I would kill him. Rip him limb from limb and enjoy doing it. My own bloodthirst should’ve scared me, reminded me of the man I used to be, but it only fueled the fire within me.

Like it or not, Jewel was mine now and I would protect her at all costs.

All. Costs.

She lifted her face and wiped her tears as she looked me in the eye. “Yes.”

“Yes, what?”

Her throat bobbed as she swallowed. “He abused me.”

If I thought I was pissed before, I was absolutely crazy with rage as she began telling me what she’d endured at his hands. How he’d talked her down, called her fat, degraded her in front of people, slapped her, shoved her, wrapped his hands around her throat to kill her.

I shoved my own emotion away and focused on her words. She needed my support, not a lunatic on the warpath.

But that’s what I was, wasn’t I?

Was there a way to make this work without wounding her more than she already was? Could I protect her from Nolan and myself?

I’d damn well try.

“You know you can’t stay here, right, Jewel? Not now that he knows where you live.”

She sniffled. “I know. I’ll figure something out. Maybe Blake and Delilah will let me crash there for a few days until I figure this out.”