Revel (Second Chance Romance #1) (15 page)

“Allyn,” Charlotte said, grabbing her friend’s arm. “I need to get out of here.”

Allyn looked at her, puzzled, “Why? Are you okay? We can slow down on the shots, I’m sorry.”

Charlotte shook her head, “It’s not that. Declan is here.”

Allyn’s eyed widened, “He is? He didn’t RSVP. I never thought he’d come.”

“Well,” Charlotte said. “I just heard his name announced. I can’t see him. It’s too long a story, but… I have to go.”

Allyn shook her head, “No! Don’t let your douche ex make you leave this beautiful party! We’re having so much fun! We can ignore him!”

Charlotte smiled, “Oh, how I wish, Allyn. I saw him yesterday… Let’s just say, we’re in a really bad place. I’m on the verge of a nervous breakdown just knowing he’s here. You don’t have to leave. Stay and enjoy this beautiful night. But I can’t- “

Before Charlotte could finish, she heard him say her name.

“Charlotte?”

********

He’d seen her as soon as he entered the ballroom. How could his eyes have not been drawn to the curvaceous woman in the red gown, laughing and looking more stunning than any woman that had ever graced these halls in all the countless parties and balls it had hosted in the many decades it had been in existence? Seeing her there was like a dream, something he was sure he must be hallucinating.

Until he saw her reaction when his name was announced. Then he’d known it was her, without a doubt. All the life drained from her expression almost immediately. It killed him.

He’d seen her start to scurry, to try to find a way out before he could find her. And if he was a better man, maybe he would have walked away.

But again, it was fate, colliding them together again. He wasn’t even supposed to be there. Winston texted him to come, to get him out of his funk from the loss of Charlotte (again) and the impending loss of his father.

Declan had rushed over to her quickly as she babbled to the friend she’d come with, a woman Declan recognized but couldn’t quite place.

“Charlotte?” he said. “I didn’t know you’d be here.”

“Yes, well,” she couldn’t look at him. “Had I known you would be present I wouldn’t have come. I was invited by Allyn, and it sounded like a good time. But as usual, you show up. Every damn time, Declan. In the moment I’m beginning to forget…” Tears were falling down her face now. “I wish you’d just go away.”

Allyn (Legare! That’s who she was. He remembered now) looked Declan up and down, “I don’t know what you did to her, but you need to get out of here, Declan. She was perfectly content before you showed up. And I swear to God, if you hurt her…”

Charlotte shook her head, “It’s not like that, Allyn. It’s a long story. It’s just really painful to see him. Really, I should go. I’m the guest and he was invited.” Charlotte rose, gathering her long skirt up so she could walk out quickly.

Declan spoke, “Charlotte. Please. Let me at least get you home. I promise, I will leave you alone after that. I’ll never go to my house again, I’ll sell it this week if you want me to and I will stay as far from you as I possibly can. But let me get you home and let me at least explain something. I don’t deserve it. I know that. But I need it, Charlotte. And not that I have any right to ask any more of you, but I’m afraid if you don’t let me have at least one more conversation with you, it won’t be good for me. Because I can’t know I’ll never speak to you again without you giving me one last chance to explain everything. Charlotte, please.”

Charlotte looked up at him, at his kind face, at the same eyes that had found her helpless on a bridge over ten years ago. When he’d found her then, he hadn’t known what his mother had done. He was innocent of wrongdoing- he’d helped her only because he’d wanted to.

Despite her anger at him, she couldn’t say no to those eyes.

“Okay, Declan,” Charlotte agreed. “Just one more time.”

********

Declan had not expected her to say yes. He’d never been so grateful for something.

“Thank you,” he said, offering her his arm. “Do you want to get a bottle of water before we go? Something to eat?”

“Charlotte, are you sure you want to leave?” Allyn said, her eyes narrowed at Declan. “I still think you should stay and Declan should go.”

Charlotte shook her head, “I’m sorry, Allyn. I just want to be home. But I promise to call tomorrow. And have this dress cleaned.”

Allyn shook her head, “I’m not worried about the dress. But you must call me. Actually, text me as soon as you’re home so I know you’re okay.” She looked up at Declan. “I don’t care if you’re a DeGraff. If anything happens to her, I will kill you. Got it?”

Declan smiled, “Hey, I get it. You’re a Legare anyway. They’ve always held a little more weight around here than any DeGraff.”

Charlotte hugged Allyn, thanking her for everything, “I really do feel like a princess.”

“You’re better than any old stuffy princess,” Allyn said. “But seriously, you call me. If you need anything. I don’t care what time it is.”

Charlotte agreed, “I promise I will.”

And with that, Charlotte took Declan’s arm and they headed out the same door they came through. It seemed like the entire ballroom was staring at them as they left.

“Well, that was awkward,” Charlotte said as they finally exited out onto Meeting Street. It was summer but the air was cooler than normal, with a breeze.

“I’m really sorry,” Declan said. “If I’d known you were there…”

“You would have come anyway,” Charlotte finished. “Let’s be honest.”

Declan laughed, “Yep. Probably so.”

“Where are you parked?” Charlotte asked. “Or should we Uber?”

“I guess you forgot,” Declan smiled. “I only live like two blocks down. Or my dad only lives two blocks down. I was visiting him today.”

“Oh,” Charlotte said. “So I guess I’ll just get an Uber.”

“No,” Declan said. “I’m glad to drive you back to Sullivan’s.”

“Well, I don’t want you to have to do that and then come back here. It’s too much,” Charlotte said. “And I don’t know how much longer I can be near you.”

Declan stopped.

“You hate me that much?” he asked.

Charlotte looked up at him, “No. I could never hate you. But seeing you is painful, Declan. You represent a lot of hurt in my life. And a lot of beautiful at the same time. Fuck.” She wiped tears from her eyes. “I don’t know what to do when I’m around you. I want to run from you, but then I want you to chase me. I want to push you away while also wanting you desperately to hold me. How is that possible?”

He stepped toward her, “What can I do to make it right?”

Charlotte shook her head, “Bring my mother back to me. Make it so your mother never hit her. Or hell, at least make it so that your mother wasn’t the one that did it, Declan. At this point, I would even take that. But you can’t! You can’t undo what’s been done. And you can’t change the past or wish for a better one.”

Declan nodded, “I can’t. I wish you knew how much I would give to be able to, Charlotte. I would take all the pain on myself, if I could. I would invent a time machine and change everything that happened. Even if it meant I never would have met you, I would do it. Anything to make you happy, Charlotte. I would stop at nothing to make our reality different than this one.”

Oh, how she loved him right then. Even when she shouldn’t have.

“Declan,” she whispered. “I’m so sorry. I just can’t…”

“I know,” he said, somber. “I knew it as soon as I told you.”

********

They hadn’t spoken the first ten minutes of the drive back to Sullivan’s Island. Declan wasn’t sure why he decided to tell her about Henry.

“My father is dying,” he said. “It’s why I’m here.”

Charlotte gasped, “Oh my God. Declan. I’m so sorry. What’s wrong?”

“Cancer,” he said, looking straight ahead as they crossed the Ravenel Bridge. “Pancreatic. The worst kind to get, they always say. And they’re right. He’s disappearing before my eyes every time I see him.”

Charlotte reached out and placed her hand on his as it rested on top of the steering wheel.

“I’m so incredibly sorry,” she said. “How long?”

Declan shrugged, “He probably won’t make it through the summer. Or maybe even the month. I don’t know. It’s happening fast.”

“Is he in hospice?” she asked quietly.

“He’s at home, we have nurses there around the clock,” Declan nodded. “Just keeping him as comfortable as we can while being in familiar surroundings.”

Charlotte didn’t say anything. What was there to say?

“I’m not telling you this to gain any sort of sympathy,” Declan added. “I just thought you should know. I mean, it’s why I’m here, and, as usual, tragedy brings us together.” He sighed. “It’s like we’re cursed. We can’t be with one another unless it involves agony.”

Charlotte sighed, “It seems that way. I feel so terrible for you, Declan. How does he feel about it?”

“He’s pissed off,” Declan said. “I think he has a lot of regret in his life. And someone like him, they assume they’re above death itself. So I think it’s a huge surprise to him that he’s having to deal with this whole death thing. It’s for the plebs after all.” Declan grinned. “As if DeGraffs are immortal. His father died of the same thing when he was about my age. I’ll probably go the same way unless one of my fellow billionaires finances a cure.”

“Don’t say that,” Charlotte said. “Don’t talk about dying. I can’t even bear to think of you…” She choked back a sob. “I can’t stand to think of anything like that happening to you, Declan.”

He stared at her for a brief moment as they pulled off the bridge and onto Coleman Boulevard.

“But Charlotte,” he said quietly. “I’m as good as dead to you anyway. You never want to see me again. Or be with me. Or even think of me. Not after what I told you.”

She looked at him, anger in her expression, “Stop it. You’re not being fair. Just because I can’t be with you doesn’t mean you’re dead to me. You’re more alive to me than anything else in my life has ever been. And even knowing it can never work out with us, you will continue to live in the very place you obliterated, Declan. There’s no one else that will ever get that piece of my heart. So even if I never see you again, don’t think it means I won’t think of you every night when I go to sleep. Or that I haven’t thought of you every night since you left me.” She was sobbing now. “If only I could forget about you! It would make all of this so much easier for me. But I can never forget you. You will haunt me til the day I die. The dream of what could have been, the taste of something so great that I can never be with anyone else, will stick with me forever.”

They were almost to the island now, but Declan couldn’t wait. He pulled his Range Rover over on the side of Coleman, right before the Ben Sawyer Bridge.

“What are you doing?” Charlotte asked. “Declan…”

“Charlotte,” he said, his voice stern. “That’s no way to live. And I know that because that’s exactly how I’ve been living the last ten years. Like there’s no point to anything because you’re not with me. And it’s clear you’ve been miserable too. And that’s completely my fault. But I will not allow you to continue to live that kind of life. You’re too perfect, too beautiful, to live that kind of existence. I’m right here, baby. And I’m telling you, we can get past this. My mother’s terrible mistakes are her own. She has hurt so many people and she will never have to pay for them. It’s a fact. I can’t bring you the justice you want and the justice you deserve. But punishing yourself and punishing me doesn’t change anything. It only sabotages your chance at happiness. And you say you can’t have any happiness without me. And I’m telling you that I’m yours for the taking. If you’ll have me. You own me, mind, body, soul… Every cell of my being belongs to you, and you alone. It always has and it always will. And if there is anything I can promise you, it’s that I will make it my greatest purpose in life to make it all up to you. The last ten years, the time before that, every ounce of pain in your life that was caused by my family and by me, I will work myself to the bone to make up for. But it can’t happen unless you let me back in, Charlotte. And I’m wide open. I will free fall to the depths of hell for you and burn. But I would rather live for you. I would rather live for each other.”

His eyes never left hers. She was speechless.

“I couldn’t let you go without you knowing that,” he said. “I’m telling you that I will do anything to make this work. I will lift all the heavy boulders that we have on top of us. Just let me show you. Please. Not just for me. For you too.”

He held his breath. She had him in the palm of her hand, as always. But what she said now would decide everything.

“Come home with me,” she said, her voice cracking. “Stay with me tonight.”

It was all he needed to hear.

He’d never driven across the bridge so fast. They were back at her house within ten minutes. As soon as he opened the door for her, she was in his arms, her mouth against his.

He lifted her up, something that wasn’t easy with the layers of crinoline under her massive gown. What he’d once admired on her body, he now desperately wanted to get off of her.

He’d carried her up the steps to her front door, his hands under her ass, her legs wrapped around his waist. She was holding onto him for dear life. Like she never wanted to let go.

Declan practically kicked open her door.

Neither of them could recall how they ended up in the bedroom, but clearly that was where this was heading, where it always headed when it came to them. Neither of them felt like thinking about whether it was right.

It took Charlotte forever to get out of her dress. Declan had stripped down to nothing while she figured it out.

“Do you need my help?” he asked.

“No, because you’ll just rip it off me,” she laughed. “And this isn’t mine to rip.”

“You look beautiful tonight,” he said. “Everyone was looking at you.”

“Yeah, probably wondering what the hell I was doing there,” she said. She was in her bra and panties now, both red like her dress. Declan grabbed his chest.

“You’re going to kill me,” he said. “You’re so fucking sexy. Come here.”

She fell into his arms, just as she’d done so many times before in another life. He was the same but different, she’d noticed that the other night. His body was harder, bigger. Stronger. The Declan she’d first loved had been a young kid, practically. This Declan of the future was a man.

He ran his hands up her back, unsnapping her bra with one hand. His other hand slid down her stomach to her panties. He pulled them off her with one forceful tug. Now she was naked; just as he preferred.

She touched his face as he entered her, his thrusts slow at first.

“I love you,” she said. “No matter what.”

“I love you too,” he said, quickening his pace. “You’re the only person I know how to love, Charlotte.”

She arched her back as he started to plunge deeper inside of her. She could feel herself getting close to the brink of an orgasm and he could feel it too.

“You’re going to come for me,” he said. “Say it.”

“Declan, I can only come for you,” Charlotte cried out. “And yes! I’m coming!”

He kissed her then, long and hard as she yelled her pleasure into his mouth. She could feel how wet it had made her. Declan was sliding in and out of her now, easily.

“You feel so damn good,” he whispered. “How could you ever deny yourself this? What we have?”

He was pounding her now, and she could barely take it. It was heaven and hell all at once.

“I can’t,” she cried out. “I’m so tired of being away from you, Declan. I can’t do it anymore. I can’t be happy without you.”

“Me either,” he said. “I’m glad you can admit it too.”

They said nothing for a while. There wasn’t anything they could say that their bodies couldn’t express better than words ever could.

********

An hour later when they were both spent and on the verge of falling asleep, Declan spoke.

“Why did you come here this time?” he asked as he ran his fingers up and down her arm. She was laying in the crook of him, her eyes closed.

“I had a breakdown of sorts,” she confessed.

She told him the story of Melanie Hopp. Somehow she was able to get through it without crying.

He held her tight against him, his heart broken that it wasn’t a story with a happier ending.

“So it brought up so much from my past that I had pushed down,” Charlotte explained. “I couldn’t do my job the way I need to do it. It wasn’t right. And I felt like such a failure. Just like I did when my mother died.”

Declan shook his head, “Why would you be a failure when it came to your mother? It’s not your fault, Charlotte. We know whose fault it is.”

Charlotte sighed, “I often go over in my head how if I had only just agreed to go with her, things would have been different. All she needed was 30 seconds. If she’d left 30 seconds later, she would have missed that light. Your mother would have still sped through it, but my mother wouldn’t have been there to take the hit.”

Declan turned her face towards his, “That’s not you being a failure, Charlotte. That’s called being incredibly, colossally, unlucky. And what if you had gone and she’d still been hit? You’d be gone too.” Declan shook his head. “The thought of that makes me sick. I’m so sorry.”

Charlotte touched his face. He was still so handsome, even more handsome than he’d been.

“You didn’t do it,” she said. “You are not your mother. And you were right about what you said. Punishing you changes nothing.”

“I still fucked up,” he said. “I should have told you as soon as I knew. I was just so scared. My mother… She needed me. When she told me she’d kill herself if I told anyone…”

“Baby, I know,” Charlotte kissed his mouth softly. “It’s terrible that she put you in that position.”

“It is,” he agreed. “But at the same time, it clearly ate at her, what she’d done. I know it’s hard for you to believe, but she wasn’t a bad person. She was really sick, yes. She needed help and none of us could see it. Or maybe we could see it, but we dismissed it as rich lady problems. I don’t want to defend her. What she did is indefensible. I’m sorry.”

“She’s your momma,” Charlotte said. “If you don’t defend her, who will?”

Declan smiled, “I guess. But it’s you. She hurt the person I love more than anything.”

“I wish we could back in time and stop everything from happening,” Charlotte said. “But then I might not have ever met you at all.”

“But you’d have your mother,” he said. “And I’d have mine. And I like to think, when two people are tied to one another like we seem to be, our paths would have crossed somehow. Even in a different life.”