Revelations (The Elysium Chronicles) (33 page)

The blood rushes from my head, and I have to sit back down. He’s right. My body
does
remember what to do. But still … “I can’t kill her. Then I’m no better than she is.”

Gavin squeezes my hand. “Of course you can’t kill her.” He glares at Eli. “How can you even ask that of her?” He stands, pulling me up with him, and I let him. I don’t care that I just found out who my parents are, I just want to get away from these psychotic people.

“You can’t leave here,” Eli says, stopping Gavin and me in our tracks.

“Yes we can, and we will,” Gavin says, his teeth and fists clenching.

“You can. She can’t. She’ll lose everything again. There’s an EMF field around the city. If you leave, the field will cause the bots to hardlock. They’ll automatically suppress Evelyn’s memories again. It prevents people who’ve managed to … leave—not that it happens very often—from telling our secrets to the Surface Dwellers. But if you help us, I’ll figure out a way to bypass that so you can go. Both of you.”

I exchange a glance with Gavin. As much as I don’t want to believe Eli, there’s something that rings true about what he’s saying. I think I knew this. Somehow.

I don’t say anything, but Asher says, “What if we come up with a compromise?” He glances to me. “We don’t have to kill anyone. We could just … exile her.”

Evangeline’s eyes light up. “Yes. To the Surface. For her
that
would be a fate worse than death.”

Eli furrows her brow. “How are we going to do that? She’s never going to go without a fight. And who’s to say she won’t find a way to come back in when we’re not expecting her? It’s too dangerous.”

The room becomes quiet again, but I don’t care. “I’m not killing anyone,” I say. “No matter how horrible she is. Or how I was trained. I’m not taking someone’s life. It’s wrong. And I refuse to do it again for you or anyone.”

Eli holds my gaze for a long minute. “Fine,” he says finally. “Exile could work, but we need to remove her from office and find a way to get her out of here and onto the Surface, while figuring out how to keep her from returning. And for that we’ll still need you. Your training will still be the best advantage we have, especially if things go wrong.”

Gavin shakes his head. “No. This isn’t our fight anymore. We appreciate you helping her, but we can’t stay. I’m not going to let her get herself hurt again. Mother doesn’t know she’s here, as far as we know, and I’d rather it stay that way.” He looks up at me. “Right, Evie?”

I don’t know what to say. My mind is still chaotic. I’m starting to put together all the information that I’ve regained access to, but not all of it makes sense. A lot of it doesn’t, actually. It’s like putting a puzzle together without having the box to tell you what the whole picture is supposed to look like. I can’t be certain of anything. I can’t even be sure the memories I have are real memories or ones my brain has supplied to fill in the gaps. All I really have is what they’ve told me. Is that enough for me to risk my life for people I don’t even know anymore?

Gavin may be right. This isn’t really my fight anymore, and Mother is surely out for my blood. It’d be much better for us—Asher, Gavin, and me—to just leave now.

But that doesn’t feel right either.

If what they’re saying is right, and there is anything I can do to help, I don’t think I’d be able to live with myself if I just left them to fend for themselves. I’d probably end up like Asher’s grandmother, trying to get rid of the guilt years later.

They’re all still staring at me, but I don’t know what to do.

“I don’t know,” I finally say. “I—I need a few minutes. To think.” I press a hand to my pounding head.

Immediately Evangeline jumps up. “Of course you do. You’re probably exhausted. After everything you’ve gone through.” She starts leading me down the hall and to the first room on the left.

She pushes open the door to reveal a bedroom decorated in pink. She gestures to the bed. “Please. Rest. You know where to find me if you need me.”

I nod and sit on the side of the bed while she stands awkwardly in the doorway. After a minute, she turns and leaves, looking lost.

I know the feeling. I feel lost myself. Engrossed in my thoughts, I don’t hear the door open, and when Asher’s head pops into my line of view, I have to stifle a scream.

He laughs when I swat at him. “Asher! Don’t
do
that!”

“Sorry,” he says, still laughing.

I make room for him on the bed and he sits next to me.

We sit in easy silence, until finally he breaks it by saying, “You know that I’m
not
on the side of you dying, right?”

Surprised, I jerk my head up to look at him. “Of course!”

“And that I didn’t bring you here to betray you?”

I blink. “Of course you didn’t. I’ve known from the beginning that the only reason you brought me here was to help me. You’ve been incredibly kind. Thank you.”

“Don’t thank me,” he says. “It wasn’t entirely selfless on my part.”

“You mean how you’re trying to make up to Gavin by helping me?”

“No. At first that was the reason. Then I got to know you and I was doing it for you. You seemed to be able to see right through me and yet … you still liked me. I think.” He looks up at me and I nod. He smiles; then it falls and he continues. “That doesn’t happen to me very often. Even my own father isn’t exactly fond of me. I thought I was falling in love with you. I kind of hoped I was because it would have made things so much easier. And I convinced myself that it was mutual.” He sighs. “And if it wasn’t, that with time, maybe it would be.”

My eyes widen as I stare at him. I open my mouth to say something, but I’m so shocked that nothing comes out.

He only laughs. “Yeah. That’s what I thought. Don’t worry. I’ve realized that’s not gonna happen. And it’s okay. Because I do love you. It’s just not that kind of love.”

“I—I don’t understand.”

He takes my hand, running a thumb over the back of it. “You didn’t realize what Eli was saying back there. Did you?”

“About him being my dad? Yeah, I get it.”

He shakes his head. “No. Not exactly. Remember what my grandma said about him? About
them
?” He emphasizes the “them” and stares at me as I frown.

Then slowly I get it. “About them being lovers?”

He looks uncomfortable, squirming a little in his seat, but nods. “What if she was pregnant when she left here?” His eyes bore into mine. “What if my mom is Eli’s daughter, too?”

“No. That can’t be right.” Can it? Do I have family out there I didn’t even know about? I stare at Asher. Is
he
part of my family?

He smiles when he sees I understand and his hand grips mine. “You get it now, don’t you?”

I slowly nod.

“When Eli said that you were his daughter, it surprised me that it didn’t bother me as much as it should have, you know? Because he was my grandma’s boyfriend, for God’s sake, and that meant you were—well, you could be … I realized that it could mean you were family. And it should have been so disgusting, but it’s not, because I see you more like my sister than a girl.” He laughs. “That didn’t come out right. And that’s why I get so pissed off at Gavin for the way he treats you sometimes. I’m not jealous—” He bumps my shoulder with his. “—I’m just watching out for my sister.”

I stare at him, my heart bursting with happiness. Family.
Real
family. Someone who actually wants to be my family, instead of just tolerating my existence.

I smile at him, then hug him tightly, tears brimming in my eyes. He hugs me back.

“Do you think it’s true?” I ask.

“I don’t know. It seems possible.” He shrugs. “I kind of like the idea of you being my sister.”

“You realize I’d actually be your aunt, right?” I ask, grinning.

He rolls his eyes. “Please. You’re little-sister material all the way.”

Laughing, I feel lighter than air. I can’t wait to tell Gavin this new revelation. I’ve no doubt he’ll be happy for me. And maybe this will help him bridge that ridiculous gap between them.

He nudges my shoulder again, before standing and walking to the door. “I know this is probably the hardest decision you’ll ever have to make, but I just want you to know that I’m behind you. No matter what you decide.” Without saying another word, he steps out of the room.

For a few minutes, I just stare at the open door, trying to gather my thoughts, until Gavin knocks. He steps in without waiting for an answer and joins me on the bed, linking his fingers with mine.

“You’re not seriously thinking of staying, are you?”

“I don’t know. If Mother has done half the things they say, I can’t just walk away.”

He opens his mouth, then shuts it, before sighing. “We can’t stay, Evie. You know that. I won’t take the chance of you getting hurt again, and Mother is dangerous. There’s no way she’s just going to let you stroll in and tell her she can’t live here anymore.”

“But there’s no one else to help them. You heard them. I’m the only one.”

“So they say. What if you never came back at all? What would they have done then?”

“But I did.”

“But what if you didn’t?” He pushes off the bed to pace, then stops in front of me. “You are under no obligation to help them. In fact, they have no right”—he balls his hands into fists—“
no right
, to ask this of you. They’re your family. Any parent would have saved their daughter’s life without asking for
payment
. And they lost the right to ask you for help when they gave you to the psychotic woman and let her
brainwash you
, repeatedly.” He goes on, getting louder and more animated by the second.

Finally I cut into his diatribe.

“Gavin?” I ask, looking at him.

He stops, frowning at me. “What?”

“You’re not helping.”

He stares at me. “You’re not just going to make me watch you walk into that black widow’s lair. I won’t do it, Evie. Not this time. I’ve already had to endure being back here. I won’t let you do this.”

At that, anything I would have said flies out of my mind. “You’re not going to
let
me?” I push up from the bed.

His eyes widen at my tone and he starts to say something, but I interrupt. “Gavin, I appreciate everything you’ve done for me. I understand this hasn’t been easy. But just because I don’t remember much about my life before we met doesn’t mean I’m your property.
You
don’t let me do anything. If
I
choose to help them, I will do so and there will be nothing you can do to stop me.” I turn around so my back is to him, then gesture to the door. “You may leave.”

“But, Evie, wait. That’s not what I—”

“You may leave,” I repeat, swallowing the lump of rage and hurt balling in my throat.

He sighs, but I hear him leave the room, his shoes dragging across the floor. He pauses at the door momentarily, but then he keeps going without saying anything.

*   *   *

An hour later, I’ve made my decision. I carefully make my way back to the living room to stand at the doorway, being a silent observer for the minute or so before anyone sees me.

Evangeline is talking quietly with Eli in a corner of the room. Their backs are to me, and I can’t hear what they’re saying, but they look nervous. Gavin sits on the couch, curled into himself.

I take a deep breath and instantly feel everyone’s eyes on mine. Waiting for an answer I don’t want to give because I know what it’ll mean and what I’ll have to do. When I look up, I meet Asher’s gaze first. He nods once and I close my eyes in relief. At least someone is standing by me.

When I open them again, I look all of them in the face, stopping last on Gavin. His eyes narrow, but I don’t look away. I want him to know this is something I have to do. I can’t just let Mother’s tyranny continue. She’s already taken everything from me; I can’t let her destroy any more lives. Not if I have even the smallest chance of stopping it.

I turn to my parents. “I’ll do it. For Elysium.” To Asher. “For my family.” Then to Gavin. “For us.”

A war of words breaks out around me. Gavin is the first up and I expect him to start on me, but he pushes his face into Eli’s, screaming as loud as I’ve ever heard. Eli is screaming right back, gesturing to where I sit. I can’t hear anything as everyone is fighting to talk over each other.

The only one not yelling is Asher, who is watching me intently. So intently I wonder if he’s trying to tell me something. For a minute, we just sit there watching each other, letting the words crash over us before he breaks it with his signature smile. As if to say, “I’ve got this.”

I smile back. “Thank you,” I mouth, and he nods again, then tips his head toward the door, gesturing for me to exit while everyone is preoccupied.

Then he stands and enters the fight, while I slip quietly to my room to contemplate how to take Mother down.

C
HAPTER
T
WENTY-NINE

My daughter has returned to me, as I knew she would. After all, she is my creation. And like anything that requires programming by an outside influence, it is inevitable that she should return to her creator.

Especially when programmed to do so.

—
E
XCERPT FROM
M
OTHER’S
J
OURNAL

Mother

I watch the monitor and smile. They actually believe they got into Elysium without me knowing. I didn’t become the Governess by being a fool. I
am
Evelyn’s Mother. Everyone’s Mother. And nothing escapes me.

I turn to Dr. Friar behind me. “You made sure he got everything he needed?”

“Yes. I made sure the staff was otherwise entertained so all he had to do was ‘sneak’ in and grab it.” He tips his head to the side, that sly smile twinkling in his eyes. “Poor man. Seemed in such a hurry. Didn’t even notice it was unusually quiet in the Medical Sector. I do hope nothing is wrong.”

I laugh and lean against the back of my chair. “Fantastic.” Then a thought occurs to me. “How much of her memory will he be able to recover?”