Revolution (32 page)

             
I crushed her to me and almo
st died right there on the spot when she whimpered and pushed my chest a little harder.

             
Pulling away she said in protest, "Daniel."

             
I wasn't ready to let go yet
and pressed her mouth to mine once more
.
I lifted one hand to her cheek and caressed her skin there and on her nec
k. The jasmine she had worn the
day that we met was long gone, but the memory was so fresh that I could almost smell it.

             
I began to slow, my heart breaking to do so.
I took one more deep taste of her tongue, then her top lip, then the corner of her mouth.
I stayed there, unable to leave and let my fingers skim her skin. I tried not to let her harsh breaths excite me further. I knew what this was and wasn't under any notions that she had changed her mind about who she chose.

             
"Daniel," she sighed
her chastisement,
and I almost groaned.

             
"Lillian."

             
"
Look,
I'm sorry," she said and pulled back to look at me. A trail where a tear had slid down her cheek was evident. I looked at it in the greatest awe. Then I moved my eyes back to hers. "I'm sorry that I couldn't love you. I'm sorry that I used you. I'm sorry that I made you feel something and come
here just to be so out of place, but you
just
can't do that anymore.
"

             
"I'm not out of place, and don't ever be sorry for that." I touched the marvelous wetness on her cheek. "I'll be forever grateful that you saved me that day."

             
She looked stunned. "Why does it feel li
ke you're saying goodbye
?"

             
I didn’t answer, I just stared at he
r, taking my fill. She took her
hands and placed them on my cheeks. She pulled my face down and looked into my eyes. "
They should have always been silver. That's who you are.
But you can't kiss me, Daniel.
"

             
"I know it doesn't matter now," I whispered, letting my forehead touch hers, "but if I could imagine what love felt like, it would be this."

             
"Daniel-"

             
"I'm finished, I promise." I smiled and leaned up to kiss her forehead.
"
Thank you
. I'm going to go clean up a bit. A bowl bath," I said and she laughed a little
awkwardly
and nodded.

             
I left her there with no idea that she'd never see me again. Even though
my chest hurt, I felt lighter than I'd ever felt, no pun intended.

             
I felt free and that freedom gave me wings as I went into my tent, packed a few clothes and then snuck my way past everyone. Sherry had returned and there was a fuss being made as boxes were brought in and reunions being done. No one was paying attention, except for Marissa.
             

             
She waved to me
as the elevator doors closed and mouthed to me, 'Good luck'. I nodded to her and hoped she was right. Though I didn't need luck to do what I was setting out to do.

             
I needed a car.

Home Swee
t
Warehouse

Sherry

             
It was the longest meeting we'd ever had.

             
And it was an uncomfortable one because there were no chairs or couches. Lily sat in my lap and Merrick let us lean
against
him as we sat between his legs. Home, that's where I was.
I told them all about the whole event as everyone munched on their can of fruit. I told them about the Need Warehouse and the little bit of food we'd gotten, then the shooting, them taking Cain, me getting the food and then getting caught by the Enforcer who
se
house I'd also slept at.

             
Everyone was entranced as I told them about their plan to break into the broadcast station and see if we could break the compulsion of the people. I saw something in everyone's eyes that hadn't been there when I left them here.

             
Hope.

             
A big shining light of it. I wanted to cry. Finally we were getting things back on track to take back our world instead of constantly fighting forward a step only to be pushed back two.

             
Jeff, per his usual self, had squeezed the life out of me when we got inside. "The next time you make a food run, I prefer applesauce," he goaded and laughed when I poked his ribs. He rubbed my head like I was a toddler and gave the next person their turn with me. Celeste had practically bowled me over with her
massive boobs. It was sick, really. Everyone had gotten thin
ner, including her, but her boob
s stayed the same size. So it reality, it looked like she went up a cup size. And that massive cup size had singed my cheek with the friction. I had pushed her away, with nothing but love for her, and listened to her as she pouted about my having slept in a real bed for a night. She called me 'Diva' for the rest of the day.

             
Josh, aka Simon, was pissed. Not at me, but he said he hadn't felt his conscience buzz that we were in trouble. He talked furiously with the other Keepers, trying to make sense of it. I didn't know what to tell him. He tried to leave, but strangely, it was Racine who talked sense into him. She said that if we all organized something together instead of him running off half-cocked, we'd have a better chance of finding him. He went to his tent and jerked back his curtain. That was the equivalent of a slammed door I guess.

             
And Lillian. I broke down at just the sight of her and she knew
something was up with Cain
. She came to me and hugged me. I had half expected her to slap me for losing her man, but she hugged me to her and listened as I told her first what happened. Then I promised her we'd go after him. I looked to Merrick for confirmation and he nodded. "Of course we're going after him," he almost bellowed in his vehemence
,
but saw Lillian's state and tried to joke. "He owes me five bucks."

             
It worked and she laughed
at little reluctantly
through her tears.

             
So
t
here we sat, all talking and trying to figure out a way to communicate with people on the outside. We needed to organize somehow with the other rebels, but for all we knew they were hardly any rebels left! The
daily
news made out like they were running rampant, but that may not have been the truth.

             
The fascination with Chesser and the other Enforcers was expected.
Billings was all up in arms about Cain. He wante
d to lead the search party and
couldn’t help
but
ask a million questions about Chesser. He said he remembered how hard it was for him to believe us when he first got there and was skeptical that Chesser was telling the truth.

             
I explained that knowing the truth was what I did.

             
When we decided to be done for the night, Marissa and Lana offered to cook since I'd been through an 'ordeal'. I told them cooking the food, the actual food that had nothing to do with rice and beans, was all I could think to make me happier at that point. So that's what I did. With the crates as m
y countertop, I got busy.

             
No one cared that we'd all just had fruit, everyone was just grateful for something real and scarfed down the supper. I smiled. I was feeling like the new Trudy again.

             
So, Marissa and I finished the dishes. She seemed quiet, but lied and told me nothing was wrong with her. I let her lie and didn't press, but I did press about the baby. She said the baby was fine. She said the baby was going to be a Muse like
her, she just knew it, because her gift seemed to be amplified lately. And she sometimes got visions for herself, which never happened before. She could only guess it was because of the baby getting visions for her. She said it was a girl, she had no doubt, and that Jeff was completely over his shocked stage. He was in full-on Daddy mode and was the sweetest and happiest she'd ever seen him.

             
I'd seen that with my own eyes. He was bounc
y and laughy. It was a good sight
to see.

             
So, later on, the men were plotting
Operation Rescue Cain
when Marissa finally revealed why she had been upset earlier. Daniel was gone. He went after Cain himself. She said she saw in a vision that he was to go after him, so she talked to him about it earlier and he'd gone to do just that.

             
Lillian was upset to say the least. She stood and
her face held more than shock as she looked at Marissa, it held betrayal as well. Marissa tried to explain it further to her, but she wouldn't listen. She walked away from the group to her little tent and
I knew that she was being torn
in two.

             
I'd seen her face when Daniel had shown up at the bunker that day, but she had still chosen Cain. There wasn't any contest, but it still hurt. Marissa understood and waved off Jeff's concern. "She has every right to be upset, Jeff. Poor thing. Daniel knew she wouldn't understand."
             

             
"It's weird, right? For him to go after Cain?" Jeff asked. "Is anyone else worried that Cain could be in trouble by this?"

             
"No," Marissa assured, "you're such a guy!
Daniel's in love with her. So he went to find Cain so Lillian would be happy."

             
"What?" he asked in a high voice. "How in the worlds does that make sense?"

             
"Ugh," she groaned and laughed as she snuggled into his lap. "Just be glad I love you."

             
They laughed, but I turned to Merrick and told him I was going to go visit Lillian. "Just…don't be gone too long," he begged and kissed my temple.