Revolution (41 page)

             
I stopped talking and waited. Merrick's hands rubbed a small caress on my neck and shoulders. I finally looked up. Chesser was nodding. "That was…good."
             

             
"Really?" I said softly, fear rearing its ugly head.

             
"Really." He pulled the tape
out of the
recorder and handed it to me
. "You keep it, just in case. But we'll meet you at the radio station tomorrow night and get that baby loaded up and ready to go." He took a deep breath. "I can't believe we're doing this. I've thought about it for so long." He looked me straight in the eye before looking around and doing the same to everyone else. "You know what this means right? This will be war. There will be panic, there will be riots and fights and …we'll have to be ready to fight at any opportunity."

             
"I'm ready," I said and gripped Merrick's hand on my shoulder. "We're all ready."

             
Once back 'home', we ate some supper and went to bed. I lay next to Merrick, but once again I felt restless and uneasy, like I needed something. I turned a little to see Merrick and he was awake, too. I pulled his hand
s
and towed him to Lily's tent. We lay down on either side of her and she sighed as if her world was complete.

             
If only that were true.

             
Merrick rubbed my cheek with his thumb and looked at me over Lily's head. "You did good tonight."

             
I decided to be honest. "I'm scared to death."

             
"I know."

             
"I'm scared that…"

             
"I know," he sighed. "I
'm scared that I
can't protect you like I want to."

             
"I'll be fine with you right there with me."

             
"I want you here with Lily, not with me. If things go
badly
tomorrow… What if there's an ambush? What if the transmission doesn't work? What if we get caught and never stood a chance?"

             
"Then we'll be together and I'll know I was with the love of my life at the end."

             
I felt my eyes water just as Lily stirred. She looked pleased that we were with her. "Hey, Mommy.
"

             
"Hey, baby," I said and sniffled. "Go back to sleep."

             
"
I can't.
What's dat song you sang to me about the angels?
The one about Daddy.
"

             
I smiled at Merrick over her head and sang in a whisper, because that was all that my crying would allow.

Sleepyhead, close your eyes, I am right here beside you.

I'll protect you from harm. You will always be in my arms.

Guardian angels are near, so sleep on with no fear.

Guardian angels are near, so sleep on with no fear.

             
I looked at her sweet face, her eyes closed, her little world so simple and small. I hoped this wasn't the last time that I got to hold her, but it might be. I needed her to remember us this way. All three of us, together, loving each other, peaceful and happy.

             
Merrick's thumb rubbed my cheek
once more
, robbing my attention.
"I love you, baby
,
"
his said, a
slight crack at the end
that
I tried not to notice.

             
"I love you, too
,
"
I whispered.

             
"You're the strongest woman I know. And the most determined." He nodded as if trying to convince himself. "
I'll keep you safe.
We'll be all right."

             
I nodded, too. "We have to be."

             
I kissed Lily's hair and fell asleep with the feel of Merrick's thumb sweeping my cheek. Strangely, Merrick being scared made me feel better, not worse. It meant that he was being real with me.

             
Things were
about
to take a turn, e
ither for their side or ours.

Deep In My Bones

Ryan

             
The human book was titled
Last of the Mohicans
. I had swiped it before we left the bunker and had begun to read it
slowly at night when everyone else slept and my mind refused to shut off
. It opened with a quote from Shakespeare, who I'd heard of
,
but not read.

"Mine ear is opened, and my heart prepared

The worst is worldly loss thou canst unfold

Say, is my kingdom lost?"

             
My kingdom lost… That thought hung in the air as I pondered what I'd read so far of the book.
It was all war and sacrifice and
hardship, w
ills taken and given. It honestly
wasn't making me feel better to read
about these things.

             
I had just closed the book in my lap when Ellie came out of the back around the corner. She rubbed her eyes and
then her hair in a frazzled manne
r. It was adorable and cute and…sexy. Man, it was sexy. She hadn't even noticed me yet, but when she did, she grinned in a way that let me know she was truly happy to see me.

             
"What are you doing up?" she asked, her voice husky from sleep.

             
Unlike every other couple in the bunker, we weren't sleeping together, in any way. She had her tent, I had mine.
I
had yet to sleep with someone l
ying on me or next to me. In truth, the way my human body flounced around at night, I couldn't imagine it being a nice experience.

             
"I have problems going to sleep," I told her and tossed the book aside. "What are you doing awake?"
             
"After everything that happened today…and everything that's going to happen tomorrow…"

             
I nodded. She didn't need to explain more. "Yeah," I agreed. "Are you all right?"

             
"I'm ok," she assured, swaying back and forth as she stood. It was like a subconscious act for her.
Her bottom lip started to tremble a little.

             
"
Really?" I asked incredulously. "Ellie?"

             
"I'm fine," she said again and pulled her hair back with her hands. "I just hope that I can help in some way. That my ability doesn't fail or…hurt anyone."

             
"You
r
ability is
amazing, Ellie, don't doubt yourself." She just watched the floor. "Come here
."

             
She wasted no time in coming and crawling into my lap. She faced me, her legs on either side of me as I sat on that hard concrete floor. I held her face gently and tried to get her to see her as I saw her.
It must've been all right for me to touch her that way because she looked at me as if she had a million questions and I possessed all the answers.

             
"You have this gift that was given to you for a reason, Ellie. It'll work because that's what you were made to do."

             
She took a deep breath.
"Ok."

             
"Do you want to…" I felt too bold. I needed to start trusting my own responses to things. I steeled myself and smiled a littl
e. "Do you want to come lie down
me?"

             
She nodded and looked relieved. "I don't want to be by myself."

             
"You don't ever have to be," I said softly and took my boldness one step further.

             
I moved forward to kiss the corner of the mouth. She corrected my course, as if it had been a mistake that I missed, and kissed me again right where I wanted her. It was sweet and a little desperate. This girl needed me tonight. We had no idea what the rest of our days were going to look like.

             
I helped us up and then took her to my tent. She snuggled right up against
me
, trusting, eager, willing. A small part of me that I had yet to explore of my human self felt a little smug. I smiled in the dark as I stared at the black ceiling. To feel
chosen
felt amazing. I had no idea what she saw in me, but for the first time, I was really happy that she did.

             
"Dude, Ryan!
"
I heard someone hiss and turned my head to find Calvin holding the flap of my tent open. He hissed again
in
an overly loud whisper. "You bagged Ellie! Finally!"

             
"Get out of here!" I whispered back. "And I didn't bag anyone…whatever that means."

             
"If you don't even know what it means, then how do you know you didn't do it?" he asked, his eye
brows jumping in suggestive manne
r.

             
"Calvin-" I started, but then Frank poked his head in as well.