Rex (37 page)

“
What
?” I question in a whisper.

Gentle thumbs stroll over my skin, the warmth of his hands and his words making my own fear evaporate. “I said, I’m falling in love with you.”

Pure joy, an emotion I’ve not known before now, encourages more tears to break free, rolling down my face and across his fingers. But this time I smile through them.

“You’re doing that no crying thing again,” he teases, and I can’t do anything but stare into his eyes. The only eyes I ever want to see me this vulnerable. The only eyes I want looking at me the way he is right now.

“I owe you an apology.” I reach out and smooth a fringe of hair from his face, a tiny wrinkle of confusion revealing itself. “I accused you of using your past to lash out, all the while I’ve been doing pretty much the same thing.”

“I don’t understand.” He leans into my hand when it reaches his cheek.

“I may not have been lashing out, but I used my past to keep me from my future, from trusting you, from opening myself up to you and letting you in, for fear that you’d hurt me the way they did. You’re not them. I know that now. And I’m sorry.”

“You don’t owe me any apologies.”

“Oh, but I do. Because now I can clearly see what’s right in front of me. I can feel without barriers. And I can finally tell you that I’m in love with you, Rex.”

“Say it again,” he demands, his mouth practically on top of mine now, his breath kissing me in a whisper.

“I’m in love with you.” I barely get the words out before his lips are on me, warm and sweet. And I close my eyes and give in, opening myself up to him in every way.

Willingly. Happily. Finally.

She’s in love with me. Me. The guy who didn’t understand what the fucking word meant, never mind actually having a shot at it.

And I did it. I pushed past the fear of loss and admitted something I’ve been feeling for a while but was unable to voice. That I’m falling in love with her, too.

I part her lips with mine, kissing her slow and tender, and she tastes even better now if that’s possible. But I suppose loves does that.

Who knew?

She pushes me down on the couch, draping her entire body over me and I shudder, filled with a bone-crushing desire more fierce than anything I’ve ever felt before. I’ve said the words, but now I want to show her how much she means to me.

Our lips and tongues tangle, and I feel how much she wants me, not just with her body, but with her heart. And it’s fucking amazing to be wanted this way. Especially by her. Only by her.

And if I’m lucky—always by her.

Taking her lips from mine, she breaks our connection, her blue eyes dotted with so much emotion it nearly takes my breath away. “Rex, I want… well…,” she bites her lip, “I know it’s going to sound strange, but….”

“Hey,” I tell her, setting her lip free, “nothing you say is strange. What is it?”

“I’ve… I’ve never made love before,” her throat moves on a swallow, “and I want to… with you.”

“Well I haven’t either, you know? So it’s kind of a first for both of us.” I roll her over and we end up on the carpet laughing, which was not my intention.

“Is this your idea of foreplay?” she jokes, and I pinch her ass.

“Oh, baby, you ain’t seen nothing yet.” I manage to tear myself off of her, grabbing onto her arms and pulling her up. “Let’s go, hot stuff. I think we should move this to the master suite.”

A laugh leaks out, so loud, so happy, and I decide I don’t want to ever stop hearing that sound.

“Master suite,” she kids when we get to my room, but there’s an uneasiness in her tone and I want to take it away. “I’m nervous,” she admits, glancing down at her hands, and that’s when I notice she’s shaking.

Immediately, I gather her hands in mine, steadying her. “Why are you nervous? I’ve seen you naked before; I can map your body with my eyes closed,” I remind her, trying to lighten the anxiety. But there’s still no sign of her eyes, and I need to see them. Her truth is always there. “I need you to look at me.”

Big, beautiful pools of blue finally stare back at me and I’m gone. I’m so fucking gone.

“I’m nervous because… now you can see my heart.”

I trace a pattern down the side of her face, starting with her hairline, moving down past her eyebrow, the curve of her cheek, her chin. “Well, you know what? I’m nervous, too,” I tell her, and she shows me that dimpled smile.

“You are?” she asks, surprise lighting her gaze.

“Yes, but it’s more than that.” I run a finger down her bare arm and she shivers. “I’ve never wanted anyone more than I want you in this moment. I’m not sure I’ve ever wanted anything more in my entire life.”

“You’re getting pretty good with this sappy stuff. So whatever you’re doing, keep it up,” she urges, her lips doing a soft brush over mine. “And now would be a perfect time to kiss me. Like
really
kiss me.”

So I do.

And it’s a fucking explosion—of lips and tongue and feeling—of everything we’ve been holding back. Her arms loop around my neck and mine surround her waist, every body part touching, hearts pounding with such force that I can’t determine where hers ends and mine begins.

Warm hands slip under my shirt, making me shiver. The gentle skim of her fingertips, her touch, giving me a high unlike anything else. I rub my cock against her and she mewls softly, propelling me closer.

Breathless, she puts a stop to the kiss, lips swollen, eyes darkened. She lowers her hands, lifting my t-shirt away before gliding her nails over the planes of flexing muscle, tracing the lines of my tattoo. Her fingers work their way down to the clasp of my jeans, flicking it open. That’s when I reach down and grip her wrist, halting her from going any further.

“I want to undress you,” I say, and the confusion in her features melts away. She immediately drops her hands to her sides, giving me free rein over her body.

Squatting down, I take the ruffled hem of her dress between my fingers and rise to my feet, slowly lifting it up as I go, letting my eyes rove over her form as the dress falls away to the carpet.

“
Jesus
, you’re beautiful.”

Taking my palm, I smooth it down the curve of her neck, her collarbone, the dip between her breasts. I can feel the hammering of her heart beneath my fingers and my own heart gallops inside my chest, knowing what I mean to her now. For some reason, she chose me.

And I feel like the luckiest fucking guy in the world.

I lift her hand and starting at the bottom, place closed-mouth kisses along the underside of her arm, my lips drifting along its length, goose bumps shimmering on her skin in their wake. I allow it to fall and gently pick up the other one. This time, letting my tongue trail her flesh, the soft moans leaving her mouth urging me on.

Her shoulders are next, and I move behind her, kneading them, her head falling to the side as I do. I kiss my way down to the clasp of her bra, releasing it, and her skin prickles as the straps glide slowly across her arms. “Lean back, baby,” I say, and when she does, I reach around to the hardened pink tips of her nipples, squeezing them between my fingers, watching them stiffen further. Seeing how aroused she is, knowing how her body is humming for me, makes me ache to take her right now. But I want to go slow. I’ve never had this with anyone and I don’t want to do anything to fuck it up.

“Rex,” she whimpers, and I smile against her hair. I love how well I can read her… in every way.

“I know, baby.” One of my hands descends her belly, following the curve of her waist until I reach her panties. I dip a finger inside, exhaling a long, uneven hiss of breath when I find them soaked with her desire. Lowering myself to the carpet, I slip them down her legs, before pushing back up to my feet.

I spin her around to face me, letting her watch as I rid myself of the remainder of my clothing. Her eyes drink me in, gaze landing on my erection, thick and hard, practically pointing against her stomach. Taking both of her hands in mine, I lean forward and kiss her forehead, the tip of her nose, her chin. With one final kiss to her lips, I walk her back to the bed, lying us both down. Blood roars through my veins, the need to please her overwhelming me. Putting myself second was never a part of who I am, until I met Vanessa. Now with her, it’s the only thing that matters.

My mouth finds hers and she teases me with her tongue and teeth, nibbling at my bottom lip, sucking it into her mouth. I don’t linger there long, wanting desperately to taste her, to watch her eyes glaze over as I make her come over and over again. She stops me though, tugging on my hair to bring me back up to her.

“Show me.” Her voice is strained, and my head tips in question.

“Show you what, baby?”

“Show me… love,” she whispers, a tear crawling down her cheek, my heart ceasing to beat at the realization that no one has ever done that for her.

I lower my head and shower her face with kisses until all the wetness disappears, then reach next to me on the table. But she grabs my hand, shaking her head.

“No. I’ve been on the pill, Rex. And I don’t want anything between us now. I just want to feel you, with nothing else.”

“I’ve always been safe. I’ve never—”

She interrupts me with a finger to my lips. “I trust you, Rex.”

Three words that send me fucking reeling, as if I’ve just climbed the tallest mountain.

“Good. Because I would never hurt you.”

The intensity of her stare is blazing, cutting right through me. Vulnerability cracks the surface of my tough exterior, making me want to look away. A small part of me even feels the need to run, fear clamping around my chest. But I can’t. And I won’t. Because those eyes fill me with hope for a second chance—to rewrite my story.

“Rex.” She says my name and there’s promise in her voice, like that moon Tyler and I used to chase as kids is somehow within my grasp. I hold myself up with one arm, taking my other hand and caressing her face, pressing my lips to the corner of her mouth, down her jaw then back up again.

Her fingers take the lead, encircling my erection, and I nearly come right then, just from her touch alone. She teases her entrance with my hardened cock, rubbing me back and forth over her slit, moisture covering the head. I’m not even inside her yet and feeling her pussy without any barrier is fucking amazing.

I reach down between us, covering her hand with mine as she guides me inside, both of us watching as my cock disappears, a low guttural noise tearing from my throat the moment I enter her. “Oh fuck,” I groan as her wet heat surrounds me, squeezing and holding my cock—and it’s pure, fucking bliss. I’ve never not used a condom before, and now that I have, I don’t ever want to have to wear one of those fuckers again.

Eager lips open to connect with mine as I thrust in and out at a slow pace, our breathing and bodies intertwined, her hands clinging to my arms for support. She’s practically panting into my mouth and I break us apart, my breathing uneven, her skin flushed pink.

“Baby, you feel so good. Jesus. You’re so warm and snug. My cock likes it in there,” I tease. “He might stay a while.” And she lets out a laugh mixed with a whimper, as I continue to sink into her, savoring this—her body, our connection.

I love that I can be with her like this and still joke, still be me. I don’t have to say all that lovey dovey shit, because even though I’m crazy about her, that’s just not me. And she doesn’t expect me to be anyone I’m not. It makes me feel weightless, as if I could take flight. She accepts who I am and there’s no better fucking feeling in the world.

“Oh God, Rex, you feel amazing,” she murmurs. “I want you so much.” Her breathing is ragged, sweat beginning to glisten on her forehead.

“You have me, baby,” I groan, locked in her gaze as I push in and out of her pussy, my chest heaving, muscles drawing tight. With a clenched jaw, I rock into her and she arches her hips, both of us giving, taking. It’s no longer just our bodies that are entwined now, it’s our hearts, too.

“Ahh, I’m close,” she moans, and I duck my head, taking her nipple into my mouth, licking and sucking the way I know will make her come apart.

“Come for me,” I urge, and she squeezes my biceps, her nails biting into my skin.

“Oh my God, Rex.” My name rolls off her tongue as she spasms around me, pulsating, and I know I’m not far behind. “I want to feel you come inside me,” she breathes out and I completely lose it, pounding into her a few more times before I come with a ferocity I’ve not experienced before.

Dropping my head against her chest, I attempt to catch my breath, which is utterly impossible. My hair and body are drenched with sweat, my cock soaked in her juices. In other words, I’m in heaven.

“Do you have any idea how amazing that felt?” I manage to lift my head and meet her eyes, pausing just above her lips, our breaths colliding.

“Hmmm… I think I have some idea.” She smiles, and then I take one last look into those soulful blue eyes before my lips find hers, putting everything of my heart into this one kiss so she knows this is real for me.

Our mouths separate, but our eyes remain connected. Nothing else exists right now. Nothing else matters.