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CHAPTER FIVE

LORENA

“Lorena, you can’t fry them like that. You’ll burn yourself,”
Nonna
Angela warned me as the hot oil spurted out of the pan and onto my arm. It didn’t even hurt. She was just as much of a control freak as everyone else in the family.

God, I loved making Italian
zeppole
with
Nonna
Angela. It was so much fun. I had been in the kitchen all morning. I’d seen almost everyone come in and out, all except Riccardo. He was most definitely avoiding me because he loved
Nonna’s zeppole
and he was usually the first person in the kitchen to come and steal one. Perhaps I was totally wrong about him in thinking he reciprocated my feelings. I had to be wrong.

God, I was beyond infatuated with him. I loved him. Especially after everything that happened with my mother that awful day. He had always been there for me and I thought we finally made a connection. I could never forget the way he held me and comforted me in his strong arms. His smell, his soothing and gentle words still invaded my senses. Anyone who knew Riccardo knew he was anything but gentle, but to me he was. He saw me at my worst; upset, desperate, inebriated, spoilt and angry. I didn’t care that he was my father’s best friend. I still wanted him. He was all I thought about, all I wanted.

“You ladies almost done here, frying the doughnuts?” Sierra asked, walking in with Matias on her hip. My heart melted at the sight of my little brother. He was such a cutie. I adored him. He looked exactly like my father, like a little clone.

“Almost, we just need to ice them with the icing sugar and we’re done,” I explained. I rushed over to her and squeezed Matias’ chubby little cheeks. “You are such a gorgeous little birthday boy, in your little Armani suit. Oh, Sierra, he looks adorable. Where did you find it?”

“I found it online. You should see the little girl clothes on there. They are to die for. But no way am I having another kid. This little guy is way too much of a handful as it is,” Sierra admitted.

“I bet he is,” I said and we both laughed.

“On a serious note, have you had any more thoughts about that design course we were discussing the other night? We never got around to finishing our conversation and you were about to show me something on the internet. I’m so sorry about that,” Sierra apologised. “Matias always chooses the wrong time to be grumpy or unsettled.”

I looked over at
Nonna
Angela to see if she had overheard Sierra. I didn’t want anyone to know about my idea of wanting to study. While my therapist planted the seed, I had been thinking about it for a long time. In fact, I'd had my eye on an Interior Design course in Italy for a while. I'd love to learn more about the culture and my family there. I just needed to think of a way to talk my father into allowing me to go. Perhaps Riccardo might see me as a mature woman and shake off the constant stigma that I was a little girl. I needed to prove to him that I was a woman,
his
woman. Every time I thought about him, every time I saw him I had this achy feeling in the pit of my stomach. That feeling escalated with every passing day. It consumed me and I was so close to bursting at the seams with lust for him, I might just die.

“Yes, I have thought about it, a lot,” I whispered. “But let’s talk about it later, okay? The food is all ready to go, and we should get the party started. People are getting hungry.” I really did not want to discuss this with Sierra now, especially with
Nonna
Angela around. She had the tendency to interfere and have her say when it wasn’t necessary.

“Dio, Gesù Cristo!” Nonna
Angela slammed the tea towel on the counter top in anger. “I cannot believe it!”

“What?” Sierra and I asked in unison.

“We have run out of icing sugar. We can’t have
zeppole
without icing sugar,”
Nonna
Angela announced, looking upset.


Nonna
, it’s okay, we are bound to have some more somewhere in this house. How about I look in the pantry? If there is none there, I will run to the supermarket and get some.
Zeppole
needs icing sugar, lots of it.”

“Oh, yeah, that’s the best part, licking all the icing sugar off the doughnut once it melts into all the hot oil. God, I can already feel my arse multiplying in size just thinking about it,” Sierra said, making us laugh.

My father walked in at that moment and grabbed Sierra’s arse. “Your arse looks perfectly fine to me, sweetness.”

“Jesus, don’t sneak up on me like that, Sebastiano. I’m holding Matias. I could’ve dropped him.”

“Come on, baby, you love me touching your arse,” he teased her.

“Sebastiano,
non essere avido
,”
Nonna
reprimanded him.

“That’s right, Daddy. Being crude is so not your style." I laughed. My father didn’t care who was around when it came to touching Sierra. He loved her and he showed it at every opportunity, no matter who was present. “Daddy, is there any chance one of the men can run down to the shops and get some icing sugar?”

“You need icing sugar? For the doughnuts?” he asked.

“Yeah, we’ve run out and they are
not
doughnuts. They are fucking
zeppole
!” Geez, Sierra must have brainwashed him. He knows very well they are
zeppole
. Love is blind that was for sure. Not that I would ever experience that.

“There’s a shitload of icing sugar in the cellar,” my father enlightened us. “We ordered it in bulk at Easter time and we had nowhere to store it because
Nonna
thought she was feeding the five thousand.”

“Great, I’ll go down and get it; you all go off and enjoy the party. I will finish off the
zeppole
.” I ushered everyone out the door, pecking my father and Matias on the cheek.

Shit, it was hot in the kitchen. I was actually looking forward to spending time in the cellar where it was cool. I’d dressed appropriately in cool clothes, knowing I was going to be helping
Nonna
in the kitchen. I wore a simple strapless faux-leather jumpsuit. It was sexy of course, because every time I anticipated seeing Riccardo, which was almost every day, I dressed to tease. My black, short jumpsuit had a zipper that began at the breasts and ended at the crotch. It was too hot to wear a bra so I had the zipper lowered a couple of centimetres to display some cleavage. The jumpsuit was high cut around my thighs and it showed off my tanned legs and I loved the feel of my ponytail swishing against my bare back. I felt sexy and I was more than ready to flirt with Riccardo. I was ready to tempt him. It was just a matter of time before he caved.

Re-adjusting my long, blonde hair back into its ponytail, I headed towards the cellar.

***

RICCARDO

Damn, I needed to take a shower and head on down to the party. I’d spent over an hour working out and my arms were fucking killing me from the amount of pull ups and weights I’d done. I was trashed. I drank scotch during my workout to try and blur out images of the last time Lorena was in the gym and worked out alongside me in her skimpy gym wear. Fuck, that woman did my head in. No amount of scotch could blur her from my mind. I still felt the same; working out hadn’t changed the fact that I was one sick bastard, harbouring dirty thoughts about my best friend’s daughter.

I was a fucking traitor. I thought about Lorena constantly, a woman I had no right to even consider being with, ever. But I couldn’t help myself. I was so fucking addicted to her. Lorena was the one woman I couldn’t shake off. She consumed my every thought, my every breath.

Ever since the accidental death of her mother, Lorena needed me and I was there for her. But it came at a price, a price I was almost willing to give in to. Almost. I tossed back another drink, glancing at the bottle of scotch Stefano had left behind and my sight was a touch hazy. Fuck. I was trashed. I should never have started drinking after Stefano and Sebastiano left but I needed it. All I needed now was a smoke. I had been smoking and drinking too much lately, all in the aid of trying to forget about Lorena. To erase her from my mind, but nothing helped clear my head. All I was doing was slipping further into a dark abyss, and no matter how many hits I did or how drunk I got, nothing ever helped.

Whenever I walked into a room, I tried and make myself scarce, because it was just too fucking hard for me not to look at her. I tried not to think of what I’d like to do to her, not to stare at her and see the woman she had become. I couldn’t help but picture her under me as I worshipped every part of her sexy body with my hands and my tongue.

Yeah, I was most definitely a sick bastard. Even thinking those thoughts and knowing that if Sebastiano knew the fucking intimate and dirty thoughts I had, I’d be a dead man. As I stumbled downstairs, I could smell the aroma of
Nonna’s zeppole
. I wondered if I could sneak one in before she took them out. I fucking loved those things.

Nonna
was still in the kitchen cleaning up when I came up behind her and snuck one behind her back. I saw everyone outside through the window and watched as Sebastiano held Sierra around the waist and pulled her close. He kissed her like no one was watching, not that he gave a shit who saw him mouth-fuck his wife.

“Riccardo!”
Nonna
yelled. “Don’t think I didn’t see you take one of my
zeppole
. I have eyes everywhere you know. I see everything, Riccardo.”

What the fuck did she mean by that? What did she see? What did she know? No way did she know about me hungering for Lorena. Only Stefano knew and that was only because I was drunk and completely incoherent one night.

“Riccardo,”
Nonna
called out.

I tensed but turned around.
Nonna
was a schemer; she had a sixth sense when it came to me and Lorena. I was pretty sure she had something brewing. As long as it didn’t involve Lorena, I was fine. Avoiding her was the smart thing to do. It wasn’t what I wanted, but I had to do it. If I saw her, I talked to her briefly, but if she so much as touched me, I ignited. If I saw anyone else touch her or talk to her, a deep ache appeared in my chest. I would never allow her to be hurt by anyone, because deep down, I knew she was mine and always would be.

Unfortunately, I couldn’t have her. She wasn’t mine. Never would be. Sebastiano wasn’t stupid. He knew Lorena was infatuated with me, but he had no clue about my real feelings for his daughter. Just thinking about her being in this kitchen cooking
zeppole
was getting me hard in seconds. In fact, I was fucking rock hard just by thinking about her. And damn, I was getting a hard-on thinking about what I could do with all that icing sugar if I ever got Lorena alone.

“Riccardo, are you listening to me? We need more beer. You need to get some more. It’s hot and people are drinking it by the gallon.”

“Sure, you need me to go out and get some?” I asked, not that I’d be able to drive in my condition.

“No, there is no need for that. There is plenty in the cellar.
Ci vediamo fuori
.”

“Sure,
Nonna
, no problem. I’ll be out there soon.”

“Take your time.”

CHAPTER SIX

LORENA

Where the hell was the icing sugar? This cellar was no ordinary cellar. It was like a goddamn minimart. My father had supplies of everything down here. I was surprised we even needed to venture out to the shops to purchase groceries. It was insane. I couldn’t recall it looking this well stocked the last time I was down here, but that was a few months back.

I scanned every shelf, and of course, the icing sugar happened to be on the highest one. Damn. I hated climbing ladders. But, for the love of
zeppole
, I was climbing. I positioned the stepladder against the metal shelves and was reaching for the bag, barely grazing it with my fingertips when I felt the stepladder wobble.
Shit!
I almost had the icing sugar in my hand.

"What the fuck are you doing on that ladder, Lorena?" It was dark at the top of the stairs and I couldn't make out who it was, but I didn't need to. I knew that voice. That voice sent chills down my spine and made my heart flutter a thousand beats a minute.

Riccardo.

"It's dangerous. Get the fuck down," he ordered.

"I could ask you the exact same thing. But at least I'm dressed." My mouth watered at the sight of him. Sweaty, sexy and totally sinful. He was shirtless and wearing sweatpants, which were riding low on his hips. God, that chest. I held onto the shelf for balance, trying not to wobble the stepladder any more than I already had and looked my fill.

"What the fuck is it to you what I wear and don't wear?" he shouted at me, almost causing me to fall off the stepladder. "Are you fucking listening to me? Get the fuck down, I said."

"I can't."

"What do you mean you can't?" He inched closer to me.

"I'm scared I'll fall."

"You're not gonna fucking fall. I'll be standing here to catch you."

I swallowed hard at the thought of those hands touching me. If this was the only way I could get him to touch me, then maybe it was a good idea to fall. Fall straight into his waiting arms. Arms I had been waiting a very long time for. It was time I got to know him a little better. My attraction was beyond an obsession.

"Okay. I just need to get the icing sugar for
Nonna
. Can you hold me by my legs while I reach up to get it?" I saw him give my bare legs a leisurely once over. I waited for him to refuse, but he didn't. I felt the soft touch of his hands hold my thighs. I could barely focus with his hands on me. I reached up to grab a couple of packets of icing sugar and felt the ladder give way.

Riccardo lifted me off the ladder before I could fall and held me against his chest as the packets of icing sugar fell to the floor. One of them split open, splattering icing sugar all over the ground and some dusting our legs.

"Shit." I laughed. "I hope one bag is going to be enough for
Nonna
."

Riccardo didn't answer me. He held me even tighter against him and looked straight into my eyes.

"Fuck, you are beautiful, Lorena," he blurted.

My laughter stopped. He was so serious. So intense. “If you think I'm beautiful, then why do you hate me so much?”

“I've never said I hate you,” he growled, his voice low and raspy. “I protect you, but all it does is make me want you more. I'm bad for you. You need to keep away from me and stop your flirting. I'm dangerous. Walk away from me. In fact, I suggest you run and get the hell out of this cellar. I will never be what you need. I will never be what any woman needs. You need to stop pursuing me. Why can’t you just see that?”

What the hell? Did he even know what he was saying? He had to have been drinking, to have such a loose tongue. The Capo I knew would never admit to something like that. It was
so
not Riccardo.

“I will not run from you. I've been raised with danger. There's no one more suited to me than you. You know that. I know you do. You’re the one who runs. You’re in denial. I believe that running is for people who don’t have the guts to fight for what they want, or
who
they want,” I whispered, leaning in close to him, breathing in his scent. The smell of scotch, as well as that musky scent that was his alone, was making me frantic with desire.

“When are you going to realise there’s no point in fighting for something that doesn't want to be fought for? Fuck, Lorena. This isn’t something I should be discussing with you—”

“You need to stop denying yourself because I know you want me,” I said breathlessly, cutting him off. I didn’t even want to think about what he might say next. “That's what you say, but I know it’s not how you feel. I’ll never stop fighting. Never. I will always fight for you, Riccardo. Everyone deserves to be fought for. Even you.” I was pushing the boundaries but I was sick of stepping on eggshells around him. It was time he faced reality, and I was his reality.

“Fuck,” he growled. “Just fucking stop making me want you. You deserve better than me. I’m not what you need. When are you going to see that?”

“No,” I rasped, leaning in closer. "I will never give up. Never."

“Wanting you and having you are two very different things.” He searched my face with an intense gaze, and traced my lips with his thumb. The sensation of his thumb on my lips was causing me to tremble in anticipation. “But, yeah, I fucking want you. Have wanted you for years. But I can’t have you, Lorena, because it’s wrong, so fucking wrong, and it would be the biggest betrayal to your father. Being with me is like playing with fucking fire. You’ll get burned. Is that a risk you want to take?"

“I’ll risk it,” I replied far too quickly. This was the first time he’d opened up to me, the closest we had been. There was no way I was willing to let this go. “I know
my
father is like a brother to you, but he is my father. How do you think I feel?" I stared into his deep brown eyes, wanting to arch up and touch him so badly. "I want you, Riccardo. I've always wanted you. God, I want you so badly it hurts."

He didn’t respond, but looked so damn conflicted that embarrassment consumed me. I felt my face grow hot, but I wasn't backing down even though I wanted the ground to open up and swallow me. My heart was about to explode in my chest.

“You can’t say things like that. I am so fucking wrong for you, baby.” Each and every time he called me baby, I melted, which sent my emotions further into chaos.

“I am a bad man, dangerous, and far too old for you.”

“I don’t care about any of that. My father is way older than Sierra, and they’re doing just fine!" He leaned in, and I held my breath when he placed his hand around my neck and ran his fingers along the pulse point beneath my ear.

“You should be so damn afraid of me, running in the other direction. You need a clean-cut guy, not someone like me with blood on his hands who kills for a living. I'd kill for you, Lorena. I'd destroy any motherfucker with my bare hands for so much as looking at you the wrong way, let alone touching you.”

Riccardo’s nostrils flared, and he lowered his eyes to my mouth. He slipped his finger across the seam of my lips and without thinking beyond my desire and need, I opened and sucked his finger. I had never been this bold, but with Riccardo, I was game to risk it all.

He withdrew his finger from my mouth. In the next instant, he was kissing me hard and possessively. God, did he know how to kiss. It was the type of kiss I had dreamed of. His kiss was full of heat, power and passion. I was experiencing so much sexual tension that I couldn’t help but moan against his mouth. He speared his tongue out, slipped it along my bottom lip, and then groaned aloud. I clenched my thighs together at the sound. Hearing his desire for me sparked my arousal, sending wetness pooling between my legs.

"Show me how much you want me," I whispered hoarsely. With bold fingers, I slid my hand between our bodies, placed it over his bulge and squeezed. He hissed and slammed me back against the shelves. Tins of food and packets of pasta toppled to the ground. Neither one of us cared.

All I could focus on was the pressure of his erection prodding against my stomach. I gasped at how hard and big he felt and I couldn't help but think about how he would feel inside me, stretching me to fit his size. I knew that being with Riccardo would be intense. I would never be able to think about any other man again once I was with him. He was so consuming that there was no way I would ever be able to think about any other guy so passionately again.

“Does this tell you how much I want you?” He ground himself against me, and then dipped his head low to run his tongue along my bottom lip. “Does this show you that I am doing something dangerous? Something that will have me killed. I can't help myself around you, Lorena. I have no control anymore." He spoke softly and moved his mouth to my throat.

“Then do it. Why can't we be together?" I said as I held onto his shoulders, pressed my breasts to his chest, and kissed his thick, muscular neck. God, he smelled so good, so masculine, with a hint of scotch on his breath and
zeppole
. I was ready to tear my clothes off and give myself to him in my father’s cellar.

He ran his hand over his face and I saw his muscles tense up. “You need to go before I do something I’ll regret, and before I betray Sebastiano and have him hating me.” I heard the truth in his words but I didn’t want to listen to any of it. I just wanted him. "You need to run. You won't be able to satisfy my demands. I am a prick. I—”

“God, you are such an arse!" I shoved at his chest. "You refuse to be with me, yet you have sex with whores. I saw you with that whore at the club last night. I'm sure she followed you upstairs. I'm not as young or as innocent as you think. I know what goes on behind those closed doors of the club, Riccardo. Don't think I don't know about the sick kinks you and the men get up to," I yelled at him, my chest heaving. I moved to step past him, so sick of his continual rejection of me, but he was too fast and reacted by taking my hand and jerking me against him.

“What do you know? Enlighten me. What is it that you think is so sick, seeing as you know it all?” he asked, keeping me restrained as I tried to wiggle free.

Damn, I wanted him to kiss me again, to touch me, but not like this. Never like this. This was not how I had it all played out in my mind. I wanted to be the one to be in control. I wanted to seduce him my way. I was stupid to think I could take on someone like him. So stupid.

“I’m talking about the multiple partners you have. You, Stefano, Raphael maybe even Vincenzo and God knows how many whores you all have in the one room, the one bed. That’s what I’m calling sick.”

“That’s interesting, I remember you making a comment about being the meat in the sandwich between me and Paulie, not so long ago. You’ve lost your nerve, baby. What's changed? Are you not happy to share yourself around anymore? That's a damn shame, because sharing is fucking great,” he said, dipping his head and taking my mouth in a demanding kiss. I was determined to resist him this time.

I jerked my head back, tearing my mouth away from his. Yep, he had definitely been drinking. I could distinctly smell scotch on his breath and it was sexy as hell. But I didn't want to give in, not if I could help it. Undeterred, he trailed wet kisses down my throat, licking at my sensitive flesh as his hand travelled up my thigh and up and over my jumpsuit, hovering over the zipper at my breasts and pulled it down. All the way down to my crotch.

“Have you ever dreamed of having a dick up your ass and pussy at the same time, baby?” he murmured against my throat. I shivered as the image played across my mind. “You can have a lot of fun sharing this beautiful body of yours, Lorena. But how about we start by giving me some of what you've always offered me. Let yourself relax and enjoy the pleasure.”

He slid his fingers under the band of my underwear, finding my pussy wet, warm and waiting for his attention. His rough finger sought and found my clit, stroking it until the tiny bud quivered, sending flares of need screaming through my body. “That’s it, baby, coat my finger with your juices. You’re going to need it.”

I was beyond trying to deny myself the pleasure of Riccardo. I had waited too long for this moment. I'd take anything he was ready to give me. He may be slightly intoxicated and probably wouldn’t remember a thing by tomorrow, but I would. I would have his touch permanently engraved on my skin. I tilted my head to the side and he seized the moment by taking my mouth again.

Oh, God, his kiss was exquisite. Instead of retreating from it like I knew I should be doing, I returned his kiss, stroking his tongue with mine and searching his mouth in a duel for dominance. His tongue caressed mine as his finger plunged into me, creating a rhythm, and my hips rose to meet his demands. He added another finger, only withdrawing when my arms clasped his shoulders. I was trying to pull him closer as I thrashed my legs around, and trying to shrug out of my clothes, while at the same time dragging him down with me to sit on the bottom rung of the ladder.

In one fluid movement, he set me down on the cold floor. It was cold but I didn't care. My heated body welcomed the coolness of the polished concrete. His hands went to my arms, pulling down my jumpsuit and undies in unison. I sat there, buck naked, and watched him flex his broad chest as he stood back up and stared at me. My mouth watered at the sight of his muscular chest, glistening with perspiration. My fingers wanted to explore the tattoos that covered his arms and I desperately wanted to trace the tattoos around his neck with my mouth. I watched breathlessly as he took off his runners and stood again to take off his sweatpants, exposing his huge pierced cock.

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