Ride To Vengeance (A Rough Riders MC Novel #3): A Rough Riders MC Novel #3 (The Rough Riders MC Series) (16 page)

Chapter Twelve

Naomi

G
od knows I wanted to pretend like I hadn’t heard Ronan correctly. Did he say what I thought he had? The club was importing women and whoring them out against their will?

I never had a problem with the “world’s oldest profession” as long as it was practiced the same way I’d always experienced BDSM with Fernando and later, Ronan—“safe, sane and consensual.” The moment it was none of that and especially just months after what I’d gone through, knowing the club was forcing women to do what I’d gone through . . . I felt nauseous and sick to my stomach.

“Tell me you’re joking,” I whispered so softly, he barely heard me.

“No. It’s a RICO case. The Feds want to go after
Koslakov
, the Albanians and the Chinese involved in human trafficking,” Ronan responded as he finally met my eyes.

“But you aren’t dealing with
Koslakov
so why are the Feds involving the club in this
clusterfuck
of a mess? Unless . . .” I trailed off and realized if I told Ronan what I knew, I could cause an even bigger mess than just being pissed off at him.

“Unless what?” He grabbed me by my biceps and pulled me closer to him though he was gentle enough not to hurt me. “What the hell is going on you don’t want me to know about? You’ve been acting strange all week . . . as much as I have been able to see of you. All the sudden you don’t want the Amniocentesis done and you’re fine with having the twins. What’s going on, Naomi?”

“
Mierda
,” I whispered to myself more than to him. “Your father should have been honest with you, and I thought he was. Why do I need to explain anything to you if you already know he’s an agent?”

“For the SIS? Yeah, so what?”

“So . . . what?” I glared into his hard violet-blue eyes and smirked. “So, he was Fernando’s handler for the SIS while Christian Kerrigan—also known as Tristan Lennon—is his handler in for the FBI. He’s untouchable. You couldn’t get to him if you wanted to because both the American and British governments protect him. He’s one of their most valuable informants and he lays a whole lot of golden eggs for them.”

“So we go after Emilio—”

“Why?” I interrupted, suddenly furious at not only the situation but also his simpleton thinking that if he couldn’t get to Fernando or Carlito, Emilio was the next target. “The man doesn’t have anything to do with his son or his brother so why would you murder him? For shits and giggles? He’s studying to be a priest while doing ten concurrent sentences of thirty years to life at
Supermax
. He has repented for his crimes—he’s not hiding out like some coward.

“If you have ever loved me and I know you have and still do, you won’t touch him. He’s not a threat to the club, our family or us! The threats are living it up, high on the hog—being taken care of by the very government I swore to serve and protect. Not only them but the British government too. The whole situation is one whole circle jerk because at the end of the day, all they give a fuck about is RICO!”

“Babe, what do you want me to do? I want that bastard to pay for what he did to you—”

“So do I but killing Emilio isn’t the way to do it.” I clasped his face between my hands and kissed his lips softly. “I know how much you want revenge and this road of . . . vengeance you have been on is flattering, truly, I get it. However, it won’t change what’s been done to me or what I have been through. You cannot harm Fernando or Carlito—we’ve established this fact because they are both considered important informants. However, if you really want to make me proud, help those poor women that have yet to go through what I will face.”

“What do you want me to do?” he whispered in desperation. “It was a club decision,
Nomes
. I never agreed with it but I was outgunned and outvoted. The only way I could get out of it would be for us to leave Vegas and transfer back to Birch Tree but then one of the members has to be willing to transfer down here. I can’t do that to you . . . God knows I don’t want to leave either. You think I want to go back to Birch Tree and be demoted? There’s no way in hell I’m gonna get VP when Trey has been promised that seat once Dad retires and Cillian takes on the role of National President.”

“Listen, baby, I don’t want you to be demoted any more than I want us to go back to Birch Tree. You can’t do anything there anyway but you can do so much if you stay here. The women they brought over to service strange men for sex—they’re the victims. You have so much more power in this situation than you realize,” I implored out loud.

“Like what?”

I began to pace, one hand on the small of my back. “What happens if this . . . experiment is successful? The club will diversify and open more locations, won’t they?”

“That’s the plan,” he replied as he ran his hands through his hair.

“Then you do everything in your power to make that an unviable option. I’m not telling you to do anything that would get you kicked out of the club but you’re an intelligent man, Ronan.” I stopped pacing and faced him. “Do what you have to do.”

He shook his head and sighed loudly. “I can’t believe this is coming from you of all people. Never once have you questioned a decision the club has made.”

“No, I haven’t. Ever. But I’m doing that right now. If you can’t do it then I will. I’m close enough to Layla it should be easy for me to get a job there. I can help her with her duties and quietly sabotage along the way. Then you have plausible deniability. I understand, I truly do. I never had a problem with the crime—the drugs, murders and paybacks never bothered me. They still don’t to a certain extent. But when you’re dealing with the selling and using of women, you’re reaching a whole new low. This isn’t the same as prostitution. Human trafficking is a line I
refuse
to cross, Ronan.”

I reached out for his hands and when he held mine in his own, I smiled. “We have to have morals and a code we live by or we have become the animals we’re supposedly fighting. I know why Dizzy is allowing this to happen but I will
never
agree with his decision. I hope you can understand why I feel the way I do. Perhaps if nothing had ever happened to me—if I hadn’t been abducted, raped, humiliated and tortured I
wouldn’t
feel this way.
Shoulda
,
woulda
,
coulda
though, and none of it can be changed. I won’t allow this to happen and if you can’t stop it because of your loyalty to the brotherhood, I can . . . and I will.”

“This is bigger than the Saints,
Nomes
.” Ronan glanced at me and his bright violet-blue eyes shining with unshed tears. “This is our
business
. . . however, Angelo Abandonato and Raymond Jackson are pulling the strings with Erik
Kitaev
. I can only guess the
Bratva
has some sort of . . . deal with the government and he’s untouchable. What you’re proposing could get you murdered if they found out. You’re the mother of my children and I can’t take that chance on women that don’t mean a goddamn thing to me.”

“You took that chance for me.”

“Because I love you so much, I can’t fuckin’ see straight. Without you, I don’t have a life. I just . . . subsisted while you were gone. I drank like a fish and passed out fucking a woman I called by your name because I was so out of it. And not for nothin’ but you and Layla don’t look a damn thing alike but I was desperate to be with anyone who could remind me of that connection we had but I couldn’t find it.

“You see,” he said in a low voice, “I’m confessing to cheating on you. While you were gone in some hellhole being tortured and abused, I stuck my dick in another woman . . .” He trailed off and a sob escaped between his parted lips. “I hate what I did and if I could take it back I would because I was so fuckin’ wasted, I didn’t even know my own name. I was so scared of losing you—that I had lost you forever and . . . I don’t know everything but I do know I won’t allow you to do anything where this is concerned. I can’t allow it. I won’t have you killed because you tried to save a bunch of faceless women I don’t give a
flyin
’ fuck about. I know I sound like a heartless bastard but it’s the honest to goodness truth. To me, it’s business, nothing more. Somethin’ else we gotta do to keep the government out of the club and our lives.”

I wanted to keep my word and crack a rib or two not to mention knock out a couple of his perfect, veneered teeth. He’d fucked Layla—that stunning cunt who could give Jennifer Lawrence a run for her money in the innocent, sex-kitten department—while I was being raped by Fernando but, unfortunately, I couldn’t do shit. Unfortunately, my resolve had weakened over the months. I wasn’t the same take-no-prisoners, tough-as-nails bitch I once was.

I knew it didn’t make me a doormat or weak.

It merely made me human.

Just like the man who stood in front of me sobbing like a child because he’d done the unthinkable during my awful ordeal.

I couldn’t hate him. Hell, I couldn’t even bring myself to be mad at him because he wasn’t himself. He would have done anything to save me and yet he couldn’t—his father had forbid him.

Instead of going psycho and causing any damage, I merely wrapped my arms around his neck while he held me and continued to quietly sob. I couldn’t know how much of a weight it must have been to finally let all the secrets, lies and pain go.

To say I understood why he didn’t want me to act on my gut feelings was an understatement. He’d nearly lost me before and he’d be damned if it happened again. I had to agree with him and stay out of harm’s way. If I wanted our relationship to survive then I couldn’t always be right and I sure as hell couldn’t always get my way.

“Fine. I won’t do anything for now because I can see you’re not ready for anything like this. I suppose neither of us is if we’re honest with one another. Me being pregnant doesn’t help the situation either. Just because I’m not going to do anything to sabotage this little operation means I agree with it and am okay with the Saints trafficking women. I think it’s deplorable to be honest and I never thought the club would sink that low. Not for the government—not for money—not for anything in this world. I’m disappointed but I understand your voice only carries so much weight and if Abandonato and Jackson are involved, there is little you can do.”

“Thank you,” he whispered in my ear before he kissed my lips. “The last thing I need to be concerned about is you being disappointed in me.”

“It’s not disappointment. More like . . . me being hormonal and comparing every bad thing that happens to
any
woman to what I went through. It just feels like the female sex is losing a war we’ve fought for so long. We never ever had real equality but we’d made some powerful gains forward and one by one . . . they’re slipping away from us. I don’t understand this mad world we live in anymore. When an informant is more important than an agent’s health and well-being. When women are sold and traded as currency. It’s disconcerting, Ronan. Am I just a piece of property to you or do you really and truly love
me
? As a human being—not as your possession.”

He leaned his forehead against mine as his hands placed themselves on my growing baby bump. “I loved you from the moment we met. I just didn’t know it yet. I grew up in an environment where women
were
and still are a man’s property but not like you’re suggesting. When I think about you, my heart grows warm with anticipation. I love you so much, it’s a struggle to breathe sometimes. You’ve never been just a possession to me. You’re the one person I can’t be apart from . . . you
make
me a better human being. Does that sound like a love saved for
property
,
Nomes
?”