Riding the River (4 page)

“Good grief, Ben. Grandfather’s not running,
it’s the current governor. Grandfather is just advisory…”

“It makes no difference. Your duty is helping
out like you always do. You must stay dependable and reliable.
Can’t we count on you?”

Sarah was appalled. He didn’t sound so much
like a loving boyfriend, as he did Joe the Tyrant. Maybe a more
sugarcoated bully…

“Don’t say anything, Sarah. I’ll pick you up
for dinner tonight at seven and we’ll discuss the role your
grandfather wants you to perform this time. The campaign will be
slightly different than last time, due to the strength of the
opposing challenger. The primary is going to be hot and
heated…”

“… Ben…”

“I’ll see you at seven.” And he hung up
leaving Sarah’s mouth open at his brusqueness. She put down her
phone on the passenger seat and continued staring out the
windshield of her car. When was the last time he’d held her or
kissed her… When was the last time they’d made love or looked into
each other’s eyes. Did he really love her? She knew she’d stopped
loving him some time ago, if she ever had. She was going to have to
talk to him tonight when they had dinner. The end of her rope was
within sight.

And then she called Abby to reluctantly tell
her that the vacation was going to be delayed indefinitely. She
couldn’t fight them all…

CHAPTER FIVE

The next afternoon, Abby received another
call from Sarah. She was back at the hospital… Could she please
come down?

Abby went to Emergency and inquired at the
reception desk. She was shown back to where Sarah was sitting on an
examining table in one of the patient rooms, taking deep breaths,
trying to calm down.

“What’s the matter?” Abby walked up to Sarah
and took a good look at her.

“The doctor said I had a panic attack.”

“Oh, my God… Are you all right?”

“Yes… getting there.”

“Have you ever had one before?”

“… I don’t think so, but some of the symptoms
were familiar.”

“Like what?”

“Shortness of breath, feeling dizzy, my heart
starts pounding and I tremble…”

“Sarah…” They looked at each other for a long
minute, then Abby sat down on a chair next to the bed.

“What brought this on? We had fun looking
through the brochures the other night. I thought your mind was made
up.”

“So did I…”

“What happened since then?”

“… Do you have some time?”

“Yes, but let’s get you home first and then
I’ll interrogate you…”

Sarah smiled slightly and Abby rose to help
her off the table. After checking out, Abby drove Sarah back to her
apartment.

“Where’s your car?”

“Still at work. Marcia drove me down here,
shaking her finger at me all the way…”

“I want to hear this…”

Arriving at the apartment, Abby got Sarah
situated on her couch, and slipped off her shoes. Abby got her a
glass of water and another pillow.

“It seems like when I finally tried to do
something of my own, all I’ve gotten is backlash. No one wants to
see me change, but me…”

Abby got comfortable in a chair opposite the
couch. “Take it from the top, please.”

Sarah sighed. “I went to bed so happy when
you left.”

“… And then what?”

“I met Grandfather for lunch at headquarters
the next day, and he said I couldn’t take a vacation just yet. He
needs me…”

Abby rolled her eyes. “Always…”

“As soon as he was done with me, then Dad
called saying the same thing. And just in case I didn’t get the
message, Ben called after that reminding me of my family duty. He
took me to dinner last night…”

“Really? A Ben sighting?” She almost
laughed.

“And I got an hour of what I should be doing
with my life, along with my steak dinner…”

“Sounds like tons of fun…”

“But Abby, I did strike a small blow for
freedom.”

“… What?”

“I told Ben that I was ready to see other
men.”

“
You didn’t
…”

“Yep…”

“What did he say? Boy, I wish I’d been a
mouse in the corner.”

“He was taking a drink of his wine and
started choking.” She smiled. “I had to pound him on the back. That
felt good too…”

“So did you break up with him?”

“I think so, but Ben doesn’t. He told me he’d
give me a week to think things over. He’s sure I’ll come to my
senses by then.”

They looked at each other and burst out
laughing. Sarah laughed so hard, she had to hold onto her stomach.
It felt very good…

Abby wiped a few tears away from her eyes.
Some color had crept back to Sarah’s lovely face. “So what brought
on the panic attack?”

“You mean besides all the family
pressure?”

“Yes…”

“I put in for a week’s vacation with my boss.
He immediately hit the ceiling and I mean that literally. He
started throwing things up in the air – staplers, pens…”

“Oh, for Pete’s sake. That guy is a cartoon
character. What’s the matter with him anyway?”

Sarah looked at her and then turned away. “I
know what’s wrong with him.”

“You do?”

“Yes…”

“… Please tell me. This I’ve got to hear.”
Abby sat back in her chair.

“One day last year, I went up to his office
and started to knock on the door. I noticed it was slightly ajar
and I heard him talking on the phone.”

“Who to?”

“I gathered it was his wife…”

“Okay…”

“So it got embarrassing.”

“What did?” Abby leaned forward now.

“He was pleading with her. I could see him in
his chair with tears rolling down his face.”

“You’re kidding… Joe the Tyrant?”

“Yes, apparently she was leaving him and he
was distraught.”

“Then what happened?”

“He hung up the phone, wiped his face off and
saw me at the door.”

“What did he do?”

“He told me to come in. When I did, he asked
me never to speak to anyone about what I’d just seen and
heard.”

“What did you say?”

“I told him that I hadn’t seen or heard
anything much. From that day, he was better for a while.”

“Better? After what he did last week and then
today?”

“Right… He’s slowly gotten worse again.”

They both thought about that for a
minute.

“So what happened after he threw things up in
the air? He was being a cartoon character…”

“Totally, but I stuck to my guns and
insisted. I reminded him that I haven’t had a vacation in two years
and that a few more people quit yesterday.”

“… Interesting… The rats are leaving the
ship.”

“Definitely and he can’t afford to lose me.
Even Marcia said she has resumes out…”

“So he gave in?”

“No, he continued to bully me and all of a
sudden, while looking at him, I felt light-headed. Something must
have shown on my face because he yelled for Marcia to come into his
office… She got me in a chair before I nearly passed out.”

“… No…”

“So he ordered Marcia to get me home and told
me I could have a week’s vacation. Marcia took me to the ER
instead…”

“So you had to practically die in front of
him to get time off…”

“… Something like that.”

Sarah stopped and took a long swallow of
water. Abby continued to look at her and started shaking her
head.

“Sarah, you’re going to have a nervous
breakdown. You know that, right?”

“Yes…”

“So… what are you going to do?”

She lay down on the couch and put another
pillow under her head. Taking a deep breath, she said with
resolution, “I’m making a reservation at that guest ranch in
Nevada.”

“Good for you…” Abby thought a minute. “What
about your family? Won’t they be upset?”

“They’re going to have to get along without
me for a week.”

“Talk about striking a blow for freedom. Good
for you, girl…” Sarah began to yawn and Abby got the message.

“Do you want me to spend the night, Sarah? Or
are you all right alone?”

“… I’m okay. Thanks for picking me up.”

“I’ll get you to your car tomorrow. When does
your vacation start?”

“Now… Monday to Monday is what Joe said he’d
give me.”

“When do will you leave for Nevada?”

“Tomorrow, if at all possible.”

Abby’s face shone. She stood up and clapped
her hands.

“Yay! Go have a blast in the Wild West…”

“Thanks,” smiled Sarah. “I think I will…”

CHAPTER SIX

She’d brought a book to read on the plane,
but couldn’t seem to concentrate on it… Even though it was a
darling story about a young, female deputy sheriff in a small town
in Nevada who kept butting into everyone’s business. Sarah finally
put it away and closed her eyes, thinking about all the turmoil she
had left behind in Baltimore.

Her father and grandfather had found out
about the panic attack somehow, and called Ben first. He didn’t
know anything about it either, so then everyone called her – one at
a time… Sarah wished she could have made it a conference call, to
take care of all three of them at the same time. They all said
different versions of practically the same things …

“
Sarah, why did you have a panic
attack?”

“
Why are you leaving tomorrow for Nevada,
of all places?”

“
When you return, you’ll have twice the
work to do that you have now…”

“
Are you going to quit that job? That jerk
should be sued.”

“
But you don’t know anyone in
Nevada…”

Everyone had an opinion… Everyone knew what
she should do. She wanted to step back a few paces and take a good
look at her life. Some changes were definitely called for, but she
wanted to get away first and learn how to breathe again. Her
breathing had become so shallow that her lungs weren’t filling… She
was having trouble catching her breath. Not good…

But it was to be a seven-hour flight, which
was just fine. No companies to instruct, no boss to endure, no
family to placate and no absentee boyfriend. It was just Sarah, all
by herself for the first time in… how long? Maybe forever. Time to
do something all on her own… Sarah took that first deep breath.
Even though it was airplane air, it was still smelled a bit like
freedom.

It was a quick flight actually since Sarah
had no one to please but herself.

She’d passed some of the time by trying to
figure out which states she flew across. Sometimes the pilot would
come on the intercom and announce the newest state… West Virginia,
Ohio, Indiana and Illinois went by underneath the plane as she
watched a movie and read her book. When the pilot announced that
they were flying over Kansas, she took a look. At 35,000 feet up,
she was eating a late lunch and casually looked out her little
window. She could see swirly lines of contrasting colors – greens
and browns – farmland, maybe, as the plane also flew over towns and
rivers that looked like specks.

The plane hit a pocket of turbulence that
made Sarah’s stomach jump and clench, when the pilot announced they
were flying over Colorado. The plane descended in altitude then,
probably to avoid further turbulence. A look down showed larger
rivers, deep gorges and mountains shrouded in white mist. She was
napping when the pilot came on to announce that they were flying
over Utah. Again, she saw far-away cities surrounded by snow-capped
mountains, but there was also a reddish tint from time to time.
Lots of canyons there, she knew…

Also, Sarah thought about a great old Western
that had been filmed in Utah, ‘
The Searchers’
with another
of her favorite Western actors, John Wayne. The beautiful red rock
areas and Monument Valley had hosted such movies as
‘Stagecoach’, ‘How the West Was Won’
, and ‘
Butch Cassidy
and the Sundance Kid’.
Sarah smiled just thinking of those
great, iconic movies. The woman sitting next to her caught her
smile.

“Hi… I’m Michelle. I’m being nosy and was
just wondering what you were thinking about… It’s that’s not too
personal a question.”

“No, it isn’t. So many great movies have been
made in Utah. I was thinking about a few of them. I’m Sarah, by the
way.”

“Don’t you just love movies? I’m a movie nut
myself. What ones were you remembering?”

“Oh…
’Butch Cassidy’, ‘Stagecoach’…

Michelle’s face came alive.
“’
Stagecoach
’… What a great one! One of John Wayne’s first
roles.”

“And the director John Ford’s too. He had
been a silent film director and this was the first of a string of
hits for him.”

The man next to Michelle decided to weigh in.
“Yeah, Ford did ‘
Young Mr. Lincoln’
after that…”

“With Henry Fonda,” added Sarah.

“Then there was ‘
Drums Along the
Mohawk’…”
said Michelle.

“And ‘
Grapes of Wrath’
…”

“…Again with Henry Fonda,” smiled Sarah.

The man turned to the women. “Hi, I’m Tom.
Nice to meet more movie nuts.” They all smiled at one another.

“Okay,” said Michelle. “What is your all-time
favorite Western movie?”

“…Ever?”

“Yep…”

Everyone thought about that for a while.

“I enjoyed ‘
High Noon’
with Gary
Cooper and Grace Kelly,” said Tom.

“…One of the best…”

“… You know, ‘
Open Range’
with Kevin
Costner and Robert Duvall was pretty darned good. Although, I think
it was filmed in Canada,” commented Michelle.

Sarah nodded. “Oh, that was a good one,
you’re right.”

“What’s your favorite, Sarah?”

She smiled. “My top favorite is ‘
Big
Country’
with…”

“… Gregory Peck…” finished Michelle. “Isn’t
he incredibly handsome in that movie?” They both sighed… Tom rolled
his eyes.