Riding the Surf (19 page)

19

Derek stared at his computer screen the next morning, seeing Ren and Sydney on the screen. “I feel like shit.”

Sydney gave him a sympathetic look. “I know you feel bad, but this is a good thing. She’s obviously in love with you. Now she realizes it.”

“She cried all night,” he said. “I couldn’t sleep.”

Ren shook her head. “Don’t feel bad, Derek. This is what she wanted. What’d she expect you to do?”

“I don’t know,” he said with a sigh. “But I feel like the biggest asshole in the world.”

“She’ll probably say something to you,” Sydney said. “Wait it out. If doesn’t then…you are where you were to begin with.”

“Just keep it up,” Ren said. “Keep acting like she doesn’t mean anything to you.”

“Do you know how fucking hard that is?” he snapped.

“Derek, you made this decision. Now you need to see it through,” Sydney said.

“We love Paola,” Ren said. “Remember that. We think this is a good thing. Her head needs to be pulled out of her ass.”

Derek ran his fingers through his hair. “I should go. I need to get to the beach.”

“Good luck!” Sydney said with a smile. “I know you’ll win this one too.”

“You’ll kick ass,” Ren said.

“Wait, don’t go,” Sydney said. “Cheyenne wants to talk to you.”

“Great,” he said sarcastically.

“Derek,” Cheyenne said when she got on the screen. “You’re going to do great today.”

“Thanks.”

“I love you.”

He smiled. “I love you too.”

“Mom and Dad would be so proud of you.”

He nodded. “Thank you.”

“And fuck Paola,” she said. “If she doesn’t see how amazing you are, she’s stupid. Forget about her, Derek.”

He laughed. “Okay.”

“Now go kick some ass!”

“I’m on it, sis.” He shut the screen then grabbed his board before he left for the beach.

There were people everywhere. It took him an extra twe
nty minutes to get to his check-in station. He didn’t look for Paola. He was done chasing her. After he checked in, he sat on the beach and watched the competition. When Paola’s turn came up, he watched her tear up the waves. She glided like a pro. When the judges held their scores, he was pleased by the total. Paola was a much better surfer than he was. Her talent shouldn’t be down played because of her sex. He pushed her to the back of his mind because his thoughts were starting to depress him.

When his turn came up, he cleared his mind and hit the waves. Paola kept creeping into
his mind and had to ignore it. He moved through the waves, concentrating on the sound of the ocean. The sound of the crowd was loud in his ears but he blocked it out. For now, it was just him and the water. When he fell, he was pleased with his performance. If he didn’t win, he’d be okay with that. As far as he was concerned, he did his best. When he saw his scores, he was pleased with the rating.

He grabbed a bottle of water and sat in the sand. A girl wearing a bikini walked over to him then sat beside him.

“Hey,” she said. “You’re really good.”

“Thanks, I try.”

“And you really from Hawaii?”

“Yep.”

“That explains the tan.”

After hurting Paola last night, he wasn’t interested in doing it again. He already did it once. He didn’t need to keep hitting the nail. “I have a girlfriend,” he lied.

“Oh,” she said sadly. “The good ones are always taken.”

“That’s how it works,” he said sadly. He drank from his water and listened to the commentators. They were announcing the winner of the girl’s competition. When they said Paola’s name, he smiled.

“What?” the girl said.

“Nothing,” he said. “My friend won the women’s division.”

“So cool.”

Derek searched in the crowd for her but didn’t find her anywhere.

The commentator announced the winner of the men’s division. Unfortunately, it wasn’t him. It was a guy from Australia. Derek clapped anyway, knowing the guy deserved the win.

“Sorry,” the girl said.

“It’s okay,” he said. “I can’t win every time.”

“That’s cool you’re a good sport about it.”

He stood up. “It was nice meeting you.”

“You too,” she said sadly.

He walked back to his room. When he reached his door, he saw Paola approach him from the opposite way. “Congratulations,” he said with smile.

The sadness in her eyes was prevalent. She didn’t seem happy at all, like she had lost everything that mattered to her. “Thanks,” she whispered.

“You deserve it,” he said.

“I’m sorry you didn’t win.”

He shrugged. “You can’t win every time.” He opened his door and walked inside without saying another word. When he was inside, he sighed deeply, hating the look on her face. She looked crushed. Derek hated himself more and more.

There was a knock on the door.

Derek composed himself before he answered it. “Yeah?”

Paola stared at him. “The winner receives 50k.”

“Wow,” he said with a smile. “What are you going to buy? A new board?”

“No,” she said as she shook her head. “I’m going to pay you back.”

His smiled dropped and his voice turned cold. “That was a gift.”

“Derek, I can’t accept it.”

“I’m not taking it,” he said firmly.

“Derek—”

“Have a good night.” He slammed the door in her face.

He showered then lay in bed, not wanting to go out or do anything. Depressed, he opened his mini bar and grabbed a bottle of scotch and drank it by himself. When he was drunk, he went to bed after he set his alarm, wishing tomorrow was already here. He wanted to get away from Paola as fast as he could. If she hadn’t addressed their relationship by now, she obviously wasn’t going to.

When he boarded the plane, he took his seat next to Paola.

She stared straight ahead, saying nothing.

Derek put his earplugs in and acted like she didn’t exist. The plane took off and he didn’t comfort her. Even though their relationship was over, he still felt the connection between them. He could feel her pain and depression. It flowed into him like a wire.

After the pl
ane landed, they left and gathered their luggage. Derek walked to the parking lot without looking back. Paola hadn’t said a word to him on the ride home. She didn’t care about him and she certainly didn’t love him. Everything that happened between them was a lie. Now he wanted to go home and drown in his misery.

“Derek!”

He turned around, seeing Paola approach him, her luggage in tow.

“Wait.”

“What? You need a ride?”

She dropped her stuff. “No.”

He waited for her to speak.

She opened her mouth and closed it a few times. “Did you tell your friends about my old profession?”

He glared at her. “For the millionth time, no I didn’t.”

She nodded. “I believe you…”

Derek waited with anticipation.

“I’m sorry I falsely accused you.”

He nodded.

“Derek, I’ve been thinking…I don’t want to be without you. I don’t want you to…be with other women.”

“You don’t?” he asked.

“No.” She looked him in the eye, her beautiful hair
tapering around her face.

“Then why did you break up with me?”

“Because I thought you lied.”

Don’t give me that bullshit,” he snapped. “You know that isn’t why. Be honest, Paola.”

“I was,” she said quietly. “It just scared me. I thought you were still the man you used to be.”

“Well, everything I said and did in our relationship said otherwise. If that didn’t convince
you, I don’t know what could.”

“Derek, I want to pick up where we left out.”

“What about Vince?”

“What about him?”

“Are you with him?”

“No, of course not,” she said. “He was just for a few days to see his family.”

He stared at her then looked away.

“Derek, I said I was sorry.”

“I know you did.”

“And I want another chance.”

“But what’s changed?” he said. “You still don’t trust me. You still don’t love me. Paola, I want to be with you, but I can’t be the only one in the relationship. I admit I don’t deserve the best, but I deserve more than what you’re giving me. I’m sorry, but I don’t think we should get back together.”

A tear fell. “Derek, please take me back. I’m sorry.”

“I’m sorry…”

“I’ll do anything.”

“I can’t go back to that.” He opened his car door.

She pushed it closed and leaned against him. “I love you.”

He stared at her, looking for sincerity. “I can’t trust that you won’t hurt me again.”

“I won’t,” she cried. “When I think about our relationship, I realize you were the sweetest guy I’ve ever been with. I don’t want to be without you.”

“How can I believe you?”

“I promise. It’ll be different.”

“Paola, when you broke up with me, it crushed my world. I’ve been a mess. I didn’t sleep with that girl. I just asked her to pretend so I could see what you’d do. Apparently it worked, but now I realize it didn’t accomplish anything. My heart is too broken to take another chance. I’m sorry.”

“You didn’t sleep with her…?”

“No, how could I when I’m in love with you?”

She breathed a sigh of relief.

“But it’s not going to happen.”

She grabbed him. “Please, Derek. We can take it slow. We don’t have to be in a relationship. Just date me and give me a chance. I’ll prove my love for you.”

He shrugged. “I can’t guarantee anything will happen. I’ll always be on my guard. I won’t be the guy you had before.”

“But you will be,” she said. “Derek, please give me a chance to make it up to you. I wa
s wrong before but I’m ready for this relationship. I love you and want us to be together forever. No other guy would do what you’ve done for me. I’ve never felt connected to someone like I do to you. It’s like…we’re meant for each other. I was scared because of your past, but now I see that you’ve really changed. Please don’t throw this away.”

He thought for a moment. “Okay. I’ll do it. But I’m not going to give myself to you unless I trust you. And there’s no guarantee that’ll even happen.”

“I’ll wait as long as it takes,” she said, rubbing her hands up and down his chest.

He felt his heartache disappear. If she meant what she said, he could have what he always wanted. “Then let’s try.”

20

When Derek got home, all
his friends were there.

“Congratulations!” they shouted.

He smiled. “I didn’t win.”

“Who cares?” Coen said. “You still did it.”

“Thanks,” Derek said. When he stepped in the door, Paola came behind him.

All
his friends stopped and stared at her.

Derek cleared his throat. “Paola and I talked and we’re going to try to work this out.”

Coen looked at Sydney, and Nancy glanced at Ren.

Sydney looked at Paola. “Don’t hurt our friend again. He’s been miserable for weeks.”

Paola nodded. “I won’t.”

“We mean it,” Ren said, crossing her arms over her chest.

“She gets it,” Derek said.

Cheyenne walked down the hallway and glared at Paola. “I admit my brother hasn’t always been the nicest guy, but he treated you like a goddess every second, every day. He didn’t deserve to be accused of being a liar then dumped. If you fuck with him again, I’ll slam your face into the ground.”

Derek’s eyes widened at his sister’s hostility.  He’d never seen her talk like that. “Okay…that was uncalled for.”

“I meant every word,” she said, still looking at Paola.

Derek held his hand up to her. “Don’t ever threaten her like that again. Paola and I talked. She understands how I feel and we’re trying to work on this relationship. You aren’t helping, Cheyenne.”

“Well, she has a lot to make up for,” Cheyenne said as she walked away.

Derek looked at everyone. “I expect you all to treat Paola with respect.”

Her friends nodded.

“Thank you,” he said. He put his bags against the door then walked further into the room. “So, what’s for dinner?”

“We made burgers,” Coen said.

“And veggie burgers,” Sydney added.

Coen rolled his eyes. “Also known as processed plant stem.”

“Shut up, hubby,” Sydney said as she walked away.

“You shut up, seahorse
.”

Nancy hugged Derek. “We’re so proud of you.”

“I didn’t win,” he said with a laugh.

“We’re still proud.”

Derek smiled. “Paola won.”

“Congratulations,” Henry said.

“Awesome,” Ren said.

“Now you can pay back Derek,” Cheyenne said.

Derek glared at her. “Knock it off.”

“I tried to,” Paola said. “Derek wouldn’t take it.”

“Because it was a gift,” Derek said. He walked to the table and made himself a plate along with Paola. He sat on the couch beside her and ate.

His friends gathered around and talked about the competition and what he missed when he was gone. Derek told them his score and how beautiful Santa Monica was. Paola was fairly quiet, knowing his friends distrusted her.

When everyone left for the night, Derek turned to her. “They’ll come around,” he said. “Don’t worry about it.”

“They hate me,” she said sadly.

“No, they don’t. They just want to make sure you’re serious.”

“I am serious, Derek.”

“Then they’ll come around.”

“I hate you,
” Cheyenne said from the kitchen.

“Cheyenne!” Derek marched to her. “Go in your room.”

“I’m not a child.”

“Do as you I say or I’ll throw you out on your ass.”

She rolled her eyes. “Whatever.” She left and slammed her bedroom door.

Paola ran her fingers through her hair, clearly distressed.

“She’ll come around too,” Derek said. “My sister and I fight like two seagulls clawing each other for a piece of food in the sand, but we’re very protective of each other. Please don’t take it personally.”

She sighed. “It’s okay, Derek. I deserve it. I know I hurt you.”

He nodded. “Are you ready to go?”

“I—I was hoping I could stay over.”

Derek shook his head. “I’m not ready for that.”

“I just want to sleep, that’s all.”

He stared at her, seeing the sincerity in her eyes. Derek hadn’t slept in his own bed since she left. It would be nice to go back in there. And he wanted to hold her in his arms, to feel her next to his chest. He missed her so much these past few weeks. He needed that touch. “Okay.”

They went into his bedroom and closed the door.

Derek gave her a t-shirt and shorts before he turned around so he wouldn’t see her.

She changed and dropped her clothes.

When he turned around, his shirt reached her knees. She wasn’t wearing the shorts.

“I’m sorry,” she said. “I’m just more comfortable this way.”

He swallowed the lump in his throat. He pulled his shirt on and kicked off his jeans. After he set his alarm and lay down beside her, he immediately felt better. The sheets felt soft against his skin, and the pillows were fluffy. Paola moved close to him, wrapping her leg around his, and she hugged him, her head resting on his chest.

Derek ran his hand through her hair, feeling the familiar softness. Her hands trailed across his stomach. Paola would kiss his chest, letting her tongue touch him. Feeling her in his arms reminded Derek of all the night she wasn’t there. The memory of her absence coated his eyes with tears. He took a deep breath and felt the moisture spill over.

Paola sat up and looked at him. “Derek…I’m so sorry.” She cupped his face and kissed his tears away. “I’m never going anywhere. I promise. I love you so much.”

He took a deep breath and pushed the tears back.

She straddled him and kissed him everywhere, placing her lips on his chest and stomach.

Derek watched her, his hand in her hair.

When she came to his face, she kissed him gently.

Derek felt himself melt as soon as they touched.

Her kiss was different. It was strong and passionate, showing the love she had for him. She never kissed him that way before. The touch was different, alien to him. Her entire body moved when she embraced him, her lips made love to his. When her tongue touched his, she breathed into his mouth, making him crumble before her. Her fingers glided into his hair, fisting it. She moved on his chest, her light body feeling weightless on top of him. His hands down her chest and rested on her waist, feeling the ribs under the skin.

“Derek, I love you so much,” she said into his mouth. “I’ll spend the rest of my life trying to convince you of that.”

Her words made him shatter. He’d wanted to hear it for so long. The sound of her words made his heart repair itself slightly. “What changed?” he asked.

She rubbed her nose against him. “Not being with you made m
e realize how wonderful you are. And when I thought you were with someone else, I’d never been in that much pain. Even when Vince left me for someone else, I didn’t feel that bad. When I heard you have sex with that girl, I hit rock bottom, realizing what I lost. The idea of you touching her, kissing her, being inside her shattered my world. And I knew it was because I loved you. And when I stood alone at the surf competition, having no one to hold, I never felt more alone in the world. When the plane took off, I realized how much I needed you. When I looked at the world, I knew it was more beautiful when you saw it next to me. I just knew I didn’t want to live without you. You aren’t the same guy you used to be. I know you’re different. And I know you’ll take care of me.”

“I’m glad you realize that,” he whispered.

“Better late than never.”

“Definitely.”

She ran her hands up and down his chest. “Derek, I’d really like to do something to you.”

“What?”

“Something that doesn’t involve sleeping.” She rubbed her pussy against his crotch.

He felt his cock spring to life. The desire wasn’t emotionally there, however. “I’m sorry.”

She sighed then lay beside him. “I’ll be as patient as you want me to be.”

“Thank you.” He spooned her from behind and held her hand in his.

“I love you,” she whispered.

He said nothing, letting the silence deafen around them. He loved her more than anything but he couldn’t admit it. He was afraid if he did, she would leave him again. Being indifferent is what made her come back to him to begin with.