Righteous Lies (Book 1: Dancing Moon Ranch Series) (12 page)

Grace tried to
prepare herself for what she might find within the iron fence, but when she opened
the gate and stepped inside, she was totally unprepared to find a single headstone
with the name,
Jackson Allen Hansen, Jr
.
written across its polished facade. The dates showed Jack's son had been four
months old when he died, three years before. An inscription along the bottom of
the marker read: SORELY MISSED BY HIS FATHER. No mention of a mother. Nor had
Jack or anyone else talked about Jack having a wife. But here lay a baby,
missed only by his father. Which explained the cloak of sadness surrounding
Jack. But a mother was missing from the picture, which had to be an added
weight on Jack's shoulders, for whatever reason. She tried to recall some of
what she'd overheard Jack's mother saying to Jack...

...put your bitterness aside... it's eating
away at you...

Bitterness
because the mother of the baby was gone? Did she leave Jack after the baby
died? And was Jack the cause of the baby's death? Then maybe Jack blamed the
mother for the baby's death. So much so that all reference to her was barred
from the marker...

...you want your son but not his mother...
you think that will keep your son safe...

Keep his son
safe from what? A mother who might harm him? Or maybe a mother who accidentally
dropped him, or didn't know what to do when he choked, or let his fever get too
high before calling the doctor. As obsessive as Jack was about her prenatal
care, she could see him holding any woman accountable for almost anything that
might happen to a baby during his birth, or after he was born. Holding
her
accountable if something went wrong.

But she also
knew Jack must have loved his son deeply because whatever happened to cause his
death was eating away at him. But before passing judgment, she'd ask his mother
what happened. She also wondered if Jack had been married to the mother of his
son. For some reason, she believed he had because Jack didn't seem the kind of
man who would make the mistake of having a child out of wedlock.

She looked
around the small enclosed area. The place
was
a shrine. A stone bench was placed a few feet back from the marker, and between
thin patches of snow were little concrete birds and rabbits and one small
angel. Evergreen shrubs were carefully trimmed, and the leaves of crocus
sprouted in clusters from ornamental pots. There wasn't a weed inside the iron
fence, but beyond, a web of last season's weeds lay flattened by the recent
snow. She sat on the bench and stared at the marker, but after a while, she
worried that Jack might return and be angry to find her in his private place, so
she left.

When she
returned to the lodge, she found Maureen out front, filling bird feeders.
Maureen looked up when she saw her coming, and said, "What's wrong?"

"I saw the
grave," Grace replied. "Jack should have told me about it. I don't
know why he's such a tight-lipped man."

"You're
right. Jack can be silent at times," Maureen said. "But losing his
son just about killed him, especially when he learned how it happened."

"Then it
wasn't an illness?" Grace asked.

Maureen shook
her head. Setting the birdseed scooper on a chair, she said, "Come inside
where it's warm. We'll talk about it there."

In the lodge,
Maureen dragged two chairs close to the fire. After they were settled, Maureen
sat silently staring at the fire, her face deeply trouble, then she turned to Grace
and said, "Jack's wife killed him. Jack should have told you, but he won't
talk about it. He never talks about it. He just holds it inside and lets it
keep festering away."

Grace stared at
Maureen in shocked silence as she tried to process what she'd just been told, while
also thinking back on things Jack said over the weeks she'd been there and
reflecting on his continued sadness. She had a dozen questions to ask Maureen,
but one stood out above the rest. "Why did Jack's wife do it?"

"The baby
wouldn't stop crying, so Lauren put a pillow over his face to make him stop and
when she removed it, he was dead. It was a month after Jack’s and Lauren's
first anniversary."

Clothes
. The large box in the hall
closet. Jack still held onto her belongings...

And the boxes
for the thrift shop...?

"Then the
things I put around Jack's house? Were they...?"

"Wedding
gifts," Maureen said. "I should have gotten rid of them years ago,
along with Lauren's clothes in the other box. I don't know why Jack hasn't. But
there was a lot going on during the time. Susan gave birth to Ricky the same
week Lauren had Jackie, and Susan and Sam were dealing with the problems
surrounding Ricky. Jack was concerned too, but before then, when the women were
pregnant, my boys were model husbands. I was so proud of them."

Grace thought
about that. It was a different side of Jack. With her, he'd been controlling
and overprotective. Everything he did was for his unborn son.

"You have
a question," Maureen said.

Grace nodded. "I
was just wondering if, when Jack and his wife were married, Jack tried to,
well, run his wife's life?" Grace asked, wondering if Jack
had
been a controlling husband.

"Heaven's
no," Maureen replied. "He was loving and caring and attentive to
Lauren's needs. And that little baby of his... I never saw a man so proud of a
son. Jack was such a good father... And will be a again. But he has to crack
through the wall of bitterness surrounding him. And now, with you pregnant at
the same time as Susan, and Susan in such a highly emotional state, it's all
coming back, and he can't let it happen again. He
won't
let it happen again."

"But he
must have seen something coming," Grace said.

"Not at
the time, which is why he was so devastated when he learned it wasn't sudden
infant death syndrome the baby died from, but because his wife smothered him.
Even though Lauren killed the baby Jack still blames himself for not seeing it
coming."

"How did
Jack find out she killed him?" Grace asked.

"He began
to find inconsistencies in Laure's story. Initially Lauren said she found the
baby on his stomach, but later she said he was on his back and the pillow was
over his face. Jack refused to believe she killed him. Still, things weren't
right, and he got the feeling she was keeping something from him. So he started
questioning her about the inconsistencies in her story, and before it was over,
she broke down and admitted she smothered him.

Grace's hands
went to her belly. "No wonder Jack's so anxious about this baby," she
said, at last understanding Jack's behavior from the start, and his
preoccupation with his unborn son. "He's reading a book on postpartum
depression right now. I found the book in his room."

"That's
because he wants to know the signs," Maureen replied. "In court,
Lauren claimed it was postpartum depression, but the jurors weren't convinced.
It was brought out that Lauren had an impatient nature and a fiery temper and
could have acted impulsively. In any event, she was charged with manslaughter
instead of murder, so you'll have to bear with Jack through this. He'll be okay
after the baby's past four months."

"I suppose
so," Grace said, "even though Jack has no worries with me. But I can
see Susan harming my husband's baby, and if there's a chance she and Sam would
let me adopt him, it's what I want, along with having Jack's baby."

"And Jack
too?" Maureen ventured.

Grace said
nothing, while trying to formulate the words to describe something she didn't
understand herself. Clasping her hands in her lap, she said, while looking down
at them, "Yes, I want Jack too. I know it doesn't make sense, knowing him
only a month, but he is the father of my child, and he's been involved in my
prenatal care as much as a husband would be. But still, it's all about the
welfare of his son."

"I
know," Maureen said. "He'll have to get past the critical early
months after the baby's born before opening his heart again. But in time, I
think he will." She reached down and squeezed Grace's hand. "And when
he does, I believe the woman will be you."

Grace looked at
Maureen, and said, "I'll wait for a while, but I want a husband to share
in raising my son, and I want more children. I'm kind of a misfit in today's
world, wanting a husband who will bring home the proverbial bacon."

"No,
you're just wanting what women were designed by God to want," Maureen said.
She patted Grace's hand. "You'd have all that in Jack. Just give him
time."

"Where is
his wife now?" Grace asked.

"Ex-wife,"
Maureen corrected. "Lauren recently got out of the state prison for women,
another reason why Jack's edgy."

"Does he
think she'll come here?" Grace asked, wondering what she'd do if Jack's ex-wife
showed up at the ranch to find a woman pregnant with Jack's child.

"No,"
Maureen replied. "It's just that everything's happening at once—you and
Susan due to at the same time, Susan saying things that are troubling, Ricky's
health deteriorating, and now, Lauren released from prison. She wouldn't dare
face Jack, but there's a chance she could come see Susan. They were close
friends, and Susan visited Lauren in prison."

"After the
woman killed her own son, and Jack's?" Grace said. "How could Susan
want anything to do with her? Jack must have been furious."

"He
was," Maureen said. "He and Sam almost came to blows over it. But at
the time Lauren killed the baby, Susan and Sam were involved with Ricky so Sam
wasn't there for Jack when he needed his brother most, and Jack wasn't there
for Sam. Jack donating sperm was kind of a peace offering. And now, with the
mix-up, even that failed."

Grace eyed
Maureen with curiosity. "When did Jack last see his ex-wife?" she
asked.

"The day
they took her away," Maureen replied. "Jack went home and threw the
mattress out the front door, and everything on Lauren's dressing table was
strewn across the room, like he'd swiped his arm across it before hurling the
dressing table out the front door after the mattress. He left on his horse and
didn't come back for a week. Meanwhile, Sam hauled everything away, and Flo and
I boxed up the wedding gifts and Lauren's things and put them in the closet.
Jack hasn't touched them since. But he left the furniture in the baby's room,
and there were nights when the light was on and I knew he was in there, I
suppose trying to be close to his son. He's a lonely man who thinks he'll fill
the void with a new son. It will fill it some, but he'll eventually realize he
needs a wife too." Maureen squeezed Grace's hand. "Give him that
time."

"I have no
choice," Grace said. "But, what do I say to him? I can't pretend I
don't know."

"When the
time's right, tell him you understand why he wants you at the ranch,"
Maureen said. "Maybe you'll consider staying now. It's not a bad place to
raise boys. I've loved it here from the first day I came as a bride."

Grace eyed
Maureen's denim shirt, jeans, and western boots. She hadn't noticed until now
that Maureen was dressed for riding. Maureen shrugged. "I still ride my
horse whenever the weather's good. Do you know how to ride?" she asked.

"Only what
I learned at summer camp," Grace replied.

"Then after
you have the baby, Jack can teach you. And don't worry. I'll be here to look
after...?" Maureen paused. "Does the baby have a name yet?"

"Adam
Jackson Hansen," Grace said impulsively. Until that moment, it never
occurred to her to give her baby any last name but hers and Marc's. But being
Jack's son, things were different. "He'll get his first name from his
grandfather, his middle name from his dead brother, and his last name from his
father," she said, as things fell into place. She put her hands on her
tummy. "I hope Jack will agree."

But before Jack
could agree to anything, she'd have to find a way to tell him she knew about
his ex-wife and dead son. A very troubling thought.

***

After mulling
over what she'd learned from Maureen the day before, Grace decided it was time
to move into Jack's house. He needed to know his son was safe, which meant
keeping an eye on
her
. It bothered
her that he'd be watching her closely, but if that's what it took to give Jack
peace of mind it was a small sacrifice to make for the man she was falling in
love with. Maureen offered to take her to her house to pick up her things, so
Grace prepared a list.

When she told
Jack of her decision to move in, he gave her one of his rare smiles, that had
her heart kicking in, and said, "I'll send Flo to make the bed."

"Don't
forget, Mei Ling comes too," Grace reminded him. "Are you ready for her?"

"If that's
what gets you here." Jack touched her face and moved toward her, and for
an instant she thought he was going to kiss her again. Then he dropped his hand,
and said, "I'll get Flo and send her over."

A few minutes
later, Flo arrived with an arm load of linens. "Jack said to tell you he's
collecting the cat paraphernalia and will bring it over in a few minutes. He
wants you to put the cat in the carrier though."

Grace couldn't
help grinning. With Mei Ling settled in the house it would truly feel like
home. And once the kittens arrived they'd wrap their little hearts around
Jack's, and before long, he'd wonder how he'd ever lived in a house without
cats.

It was late
afternoon by the time Grace and Maureen returned from town. Jack was working
the horses, so Sam helped carry in the baby clothes, packages of diapers, bags
filled with Grace's clothes and shoes, and a box with the items from her
dresser top.

For the next
two hours, Grace kept busy putting things in place—clamping a baby-mobile onto
the headboard of the crib, putting packages of diapers on the shelf beneath the
changing table, arranging baby clothes in the dresser. She also had Sam drive a
nail in a log so she could hang the paint-by-number picture of the cat. Her
last plan for the day was to bake a pie. She'd found walnuts in a jar, which
she set on the kitchen counter beside the chopping board, and there were eggs
in the refrigerator, brown sugar in a cabinet, and enough flour to make a pie
crust.