Ring of Fire (4 page)

Eric took a moment before he responded. “You know that being in that chair doesn't make you less of a man, don't you, Jayden?”

Lark shot him a grateful look, but his attention was focused on her son. Staring intently into her boy's face, Eric said, “Jayden, tell me you know that.”

Looking troubled, her son nodded slowly. “Mom and Granny say so. But they have to love me. Other people, they don't even see me because I'm in a chair. Or they don't want to look at me. Or they think I can't speak or hear, or that I'm stupid, just because of the chair.”

Eric put his hand on Jayden's shoulder, where it looked impossibly big, strong, and healthy, cupping her son's scrawny shoulder cap. “Then they're the ones who are being stupid. That chair and your cerebral palsy do
not
make you less of a man. It's not just your mom and granny who say so.
I
say so. I don't have to love you. I barely even know you. But I'm a major in the Canadian Armed Forces and I know what I'm talking about.”

“Yes, sir,” Jayden said.

As Eric turned to respond to something Sally said, Lark reflected that while Eric might not relate to horses—at least yet—he was a good man. Self-contained, yes, but maybe not as “touch me not” as she'd first thought. He had sensitivity and compassion. And he sure was easy on the eyes. She remembered how fantastic he'd looked running, all hot and sweaty.

Oh, man, it was too long since she'd had sex. Sex that involved a partner, that was physical and earthy and satisfying in a way no vibrator could replicate.

Did Eric find her attractive, or did he prefer a softer, more traditionally feminine woman? Would it be a bad idea to hook up with her son's classmate? Probably so. She'd always kept her sex life separate from her home life. Since she had no intention of ever marrying again—having inherited her mom and grandma's crappy luck with men—it was better that her son not think she was in a “relationship” and get his hopes up. Jayden commented with some regularity that it would sure be nice to have another guy around the house.

As for her, a man around the house was the last complication she needed.

But to enjoy a little R&R in the bed of a hot guy, a decent guy . . . Well, that was a whole other story.

* * *

Lark wasn't there.

The First Nations woman who climbed out of the driver's side of the blue minivan on Wednesday morning was a good ten inches shorter than Lark, and middle-aged. She nodded to Eric, but didn't speak as she helped Jayden exit from the van.

After Eric and Jayden greeted each other, the boy said, “Eric, this is my granny.”

Like most people around here, the woman wore jeans, a casual shirt, and boots, although, like his and Jayden's, her boots were regular ones rather than cowboy boots. Black hair threaded with silver hung in a simple, flattering shoulder-length cut. She held out her hand. “Mary Cantrell. I'm pleased to meet you, Major Weaver.”

“Likewise, Ms. Cantrell.” He shook her hand, finding her grip strong despite her small size. “And please make it Eric.”

She nodded. “I'm Mary.”

“Jayden's mom isn't coming today?”

“My daughter is working. She comes to the Sunday lessons. I bring Jayden to the Wednesday ones.”

Damn, the main reason Eric had come to this second riding lesson was to see Lark again. His first experience with riding sure hadn't convinced him of any benefits. During the lesson, he'd been impatient to pick up the pace, and in the three days since then, he'd had a couple of flashbacks.

And yet, when he had put on his boots this morning, he'd felt a sense of anticipation. Kind of weird to be looking forward to seeing the fire chief who'd witnessed his weakest moment, and yet he had been.

Though Mary was petite and Lark tall and broad-shouldered, he could see where Lark got her strong cheekbones, determined jaw, and steady gaze. Right now, her mother's near-black eyes studied him carefully and he found himself hoping he measured up.

She gave a slight nod. “I hope you find benefit in riding, as Jayden has.”

“I hope so, too.” He tried not to sound dubious.

The three of them headed toward the barn. This time, there was only one horse tied up outside, a different horse from the two they'd used for the first lesson. It was a showy animal patterned with patches of white and dark brown.

Sally emerged from the barn and came to greet them. Behind her were her assistant, Corrie, and a rangy, dark-haired man in a cowboy hat. Eric tensed automatically as he assessed the guy: strong; athletic; friendly smile.

Eric's muscles relaxed as Mary and Jayden said hello to the man. Sally then introduced him to Eric as Ben Traynor, her fiancé.

“Ben's a rodeo cowboy!” Jayden said.

“Oh, yeah?” Shades of the Wild West. Still, his interest perked. Learning some rodeo tricks sounded way more challenging than walking and trotting around a ring.

“We're going to try something different today,” Sally said. “As Jayden knows, his care team thinks he's ready. Rather than Corrie and me getting the horses ready, you guys will do it.”

Huh? Wasn't he supposed to be riding? How was saddling a horse going to help him? Still, that was something to take up with Monique and Karim. For now, it wouldn't kill him to go along, and hope they got to the rodeo stuff once he and Jayden were mounted.

Sally led the way into the barn, where the same two horses he and Jayden had ridden last time were tied up. They had halters on, but no bridles or saddles.

“We'll start with grooming,” Sally said. “Corrie and I will work with Mary and Jayden, and Ben will work with you, Eric.”

And so Eric found himself learning how to use a curry comb and brush to rid Celebration's coat of loose hair and dirt, and then how to put on a saddle pad, saddle, and bridle.

When the horses were ready and he and Jayden had mounted, Eric discovered that, unlike last time, they wouldn't be riding in the ring but on a trail.

“Cool!” Jayden enthused. “Just like real cowboys.”

Ben slung a backpack on his back and mounted the brown and white horse that had been tied up. The women remained on the ground, with Mary taking the lead rein of Jayden's gray horse, Sally at the boy's left, and Corrie at his right.

“I don't need side walkers anymore,” Jayden protested.

“Trail riding is something new,” Sally said. “Even though we won't go above a walk, the ground is less level than in the ring.”

“I know to hold the horn if I get off balance.”

“You're doing well, Jayden,” Sally said calmly. “But conditions are less controlled on the trail, and unexpected things can happen.”

So much for rodeo. It seemed they weren't even going to get above a walk today. Eric sighed as Sally took off at a long-strided but relatively slow pace, leading the procession.

“Guide Celebration in behind Pookie,” Ben instructed Eric. “I'll ride behind you and give you some tips.”

A babysitter. Great. At least it was a step up from a lead rein and side walkers.

After leaving the barnyard, they followed a dirt two-track road that ran alongside a wooden fence. Eric noted his surroundings with a careful eye, trying to appreciate rather than to search for potential threats. He was a long way from Afghanistan, and even though he chafed to get back to duty, he had to admit that Caribou Crossing was a pretty place. Fields of grain rippled in the slight breeze like golden waves. A black bird with patches of red on its wings sang from a fence post.

Ben mostly kept quiet, though he gave Eric an occasional reminder to keep his heels down and his body fluid.

With September sunshine on Eric's shoulders, the grain rustling, the birds trilling, it was easier to let his muscles loosen up a little. When he did, he began to understand what Sally and Ben were talking about. He could feel the thrust and roll of Celebration's body as the horse took each step forward. Eric let his own body move with it rather than against it.

“That's better,” Ben said, bringing his horse up beside Eric's. “A sense of connection with your horse is critical.”

Curious, Eric asked him about rodeo, learning that he and his horse competed with a partner in team roping and that Ben also rode saddle broncs. The man said that he and Sally were planning to set up a rodeo school, hopefully to launch the next summer. “I was happy riding the circuit,” Ben said, “until Sally and I got together. And then the idea of staying in one place with one woman sounded pretty damn fine.” He glanced over at Eric. “Are you from Caribou Crossing?”

“No.” Then, realizing he was being awfully curt, he said, “I was doing rehab in Toronto.” He'd had a whole team there: physiatrist, physiotherapist, occupational therapist, prosthetist, and others. “But I didn't enjoy being in the city.” The noises and odors had been annoying and he'd suspected that they exacerbated his flashbacks. When he'd no longer needed all the specialists and equipment at the rehab center and had decided to take Leave Without Pay, he could've gone to stay with his parents in Ottawa, but his father made him feel so damned inadequate. Besides, if he lived with his parents it would be hard to conceal the flashbacks and nightmares. Eric hadn't told his parents about his problem, knowing that his father would be the opposite of sympathetic. The Brigadier-General considered PTSD to be a mental weakness, a “mind over matter” issue, and thought the soldiers who couldn't beat it were pussies.

Shoving away the negative thoughts, Eric went on, “I'd reached the point where I mostly only needed a physiotherapist.” He sure wasn't going to mention the psychologist. “That meant I didn't have to be close to a big rehab center, and my team and I both thought a quieter country setting would be a good change.” It was cheaper, too, in terms of living expenses.

“Caribou Crossing's sure a change from Toronto,” Ben said. “Did you know someone here?”

“No, I'd never heard of the place. The physiatrist who leads my rehab team recommended it. Or, rather, recommended Monique Labelle, a physiotherapist he'd worked with for a number of years in Toronto. She moved here a few years ago.”

Ben was nodding, smiling. “I go to Monique, too. She's great. Did you know she used to be an Olympic figure skater?”

“I didn't.” Eric had been so focused on his own recovery that he'd never asked Monique anything about herself.

Up ahead, Sally was calling a break. They were in a small clearing with some rough grass dotted with wildflowers and a few old logs.

Ben swung easily off his horse. “No mounting block,” he commented to Eric. “Need a hand down?”

“Don't think so, thanks.” Aware of his own awkwardness, he dismounted.

After the women helped Jayden, Corrie and Sally tied up the horses. Ben took water bottles from his backpack and offered them around. Then he went over to talk to Sally, and hold her hand. Mary got Jayden settled on a log and then glanced at Eric and raised her chin slightly. It was subtle, but it was a command. Amused at her quiet effectiveness, he walked over. Mary said, “I'm going to chat with Corrie,” and left Eric alone with Jayden.

Eric sat on the log, which was at an awkward height for his prosthetic leg. He stretched the leg out, straightening the knee and feeling a not-unpleasant pull in his thigh. Riding, even at a walk, did use muscles in a different way from any other form of exercise.

“A Wednesday morning in September,” Eric commented, “and we're out riding.” Since he'd taken LWOP, his life had lacked its normal structure. Being a disciplined, goal-directed guy, he'd imposed a structure, with pretty much every activity focused toward the single purpose of being combat ready again, physically and mentally.

“Isn't it great?” Jayden enthused.

It probably was good therapy for the boy's cerebral palsy, but Eric found it hard to believe that sitting on a stump in the middle of the woods was an effective use of his own time. Rather than say so, he changed the subject. “Are you homeschooled?”

“No, I go to regular school. But I have some special programs. On Wednesdays, Granny takes me to Monique's for a physio session, and then to riding. After lunch, I go back to school.”

“You like school?”

“Mostly. I just wish I could do the same stuff as the other kids.”

Eric nodded. “On the other hand, you're riding and they're stuck behind desks.”

Jayden giggled. He straightened his shoulders, which had rounded into a slump. “Last time, you said Mom saved your life. What happened?”

Unsure how much Lark would want him to reveal, Eric stalled. “Uh, did you ask her?”

“She won't talk about spe-ci-fic rescues. She says people don't always want the world knowing what happened to them.”

He could only wish her son had such reticence, but the boy was rushing on. “Did she rescue you from a fire or was it an MVA ex-tri-ca-tion? Oh, MVA means a motor vehicle accident.”

Eric had already known that, but just nodded and said, “Understood. It was a fire.”

Jayden nodded. “That's her job. MVAs, too. And when people have strokes and heart attacks, she saves them. She saved a man from drowning once, when there was an accident on Bent River Bridge, and his car went through the railing into the river.”

“She's a brave woman.”

Jayden nodded. “Mom and Granny say a woman can do anything a man can.”

A joke from Eric's childhood sprang to mind and he couldn't help himself. “There's one thing they can't do.”

“What?” the boy asked eagerly.

“Pee through a hole in a fence.”