Rise Against the Faultless (12 page)

I wasted no time in getting my
thoughts together to go to Cyril and try to confront her with the truth. When
it comes to bad news, I really detest being the messenger, but I had to take my
chances with Cyril. She, of all people, will know the pain of what my family is
going through, and could be the most motivated to help me. I needed to find out
how she felt about me, first. Of course she was going to act like she liked me,
but I needed to know her true feelings before moving forward with my plan. 

I needed to test her. I
couldn’t just flat out ask, I had to get someone else to find out for me. Who
would she be honest with, though? She wouldn’t tell any of my friends anything,
it needed to be someone else. Glyn! It had to be Glyn. Glyn is in Service, just
as Cyril is. Glyn could mention something about me and see how Cyril responds.
Now just to see if she will do it.

I got back on the shuttle and
headed for the Lounge. It’s where most of the Initiates went after training to
relax and overindulge. I went in and found a table in the corner where my
crutches could be propped up against the wall and out of the way. Not ten
minutes after sitting down, I saw Glyn come in with a few more girls I had seen
around, all in Service. It was funny how they all hung together, not mixing
with any of the others. Science mingled with Combat, Education mingled with
Medicine, and so forth, but those in Service clearly avoided all other groups.
It was a pity to me.

I called out to her and started
to get up, but she insisted that I sit back down and told her friends she would
catch up with them. “You really should give your leg more of a rest, Raily.
Maybe keep it elevated more?” I realized that Glyn was probably right, given
her knowledge of such things. I appreciated Glyn’s sweet nature. “I’ve been
meaning to come to you, you know, outside of training to, um, to thank you.” I
could tell she was just a bit uneasy around me. Even though just a short while
ago we were peers in school, the line had so clearly been drawn between us,
now. “Participating with you guys during the simulations has been the best
thing to happen to me... here.” Her voice broke a bit on the last word. “You
taking my place on that stage the other day was… well thank you.” I realized
just then how foolish I had been, feeling sorry for myself those first few
months here. Glyn obviously had it so much harder.

“You don’t have to thank me for
anything, Glyn. I chose you because you were the best. I should thank you. You
provided something invaluable for my team, you helped secure the wins.” She
beamed from ear to ear at that. “I took your place because I am who they wanted
to punish, you didn’t deserve that.”

“Listen, I hope that you’ll
maybe keep letting me go with you guys.” She looked around the room and over
her shoulder, as if she was thinking someone would sneak up behind her and
surprise her. In a hushed tone, “I’ve been studying... at night. I’m learning
more.” I wondered if Glyn had befriended someone who gave her access to the
Science or Medicine library databases.

“As long as you’ll still come,
I’ll still ask for your help, Glyn. But now I need to ask something else of
you. I need a favor.”

“Name it! I’ll help you with
anything.”

“Do you know Cyril, she’s with
me all the time. She… helps me.” I still wasn’t sure how to refer to Cyril. She
had become more than just an errand girl, as Ann had tried to explain her
duties at first, she was really intelligent and would help me with strategies
and studying at night.

“Yes, I know Cyril- wild red
hair, I think everyone knows her.”

“I need you to keep this
between you and I, but I would like for you to have a conversation with her.”
            “That’s your favor?” Glyn looked confused.

“Yes, I need you to talk to
Cyril, and find out something for me. Don’t tell her that we spoke. Just go to
Cyril and strike up a conversation. Talk about weather, or clothes, or boys
even, she’d like that. Then, I want you to bring me up. I want you to say a few
nasty things about me. Maybe that I think I’m too good for this place. Maybe
that I’m stuck up or that I’ll make a terrible leader. Just say anything that
comes to mind. Think of someone you really dislike and describe that person,
except use my name instead.”

She frowned, “This is a very
odd request. I don’t feel that way, why would I say this to her?”

I thought for a second of how
to explain this to Glyn. “I just want to know how she reacts, that’s all. Do it
at a time when there isn’t anyone else around.”

“Sure, I’ll do this for you. No
problem.”

She looked a bit confused, but
as smart as Glyn was, it wouldn’t take her long to figure out what was going
on. I planned to bring Glyn in as well, I just needed to try to convince Cyril
first. I told her we’d meet up the same time tomorrow in the Lounge, and she
could recount the story to me.

Sleeping had been all but
impossible since Dale was taken. I just laid awake at night, my thoughts
getting crazier by the second. I needed rest, but more than that, I needed to
heal so that when I did find out where Dale was, I could fight. So before leaving
the Lounge, I grabbed a drink. Maybe the alcohol would let me let go for long
enough to drift asleep.  I downed it as quickly as possible and made my way
back to my room. It did affect me, but not in the way I was hoping. I started
thinking about Dale and wondering where he was. If he was safe and warm, if he
had slept. I sobbed into my pillow and tried to think of anything else in the
world. I had to stay on point. Nothing could distract me from my goal. I needed
rest. I did eventually drift off, but not to the restful slumber that I so
desperately needed.

This nightmare started like so
many of my recent past. I was in the woods again. I heard the shouts of the
crowd. I saw the makeshift sparring ring and two figures circling one another.
This time, it wasn’t Cyril’s sister I saw. It was Dale. Poor innocent, Dale
with a bloodied and broken face. And who was he fighting? It was me. He was
fighting me. I was viciously trying to murder him. I saw Ann at the corner of
the crowd, nodding her approval. Lars beside her, grinning. In my dream, I was
so happy to go along with their plans. When I awoke from this nightmare, I
couldn’t go back to sleep. The feeling that I had was so disturbing but more
than that, there was something off, but I just couldn’t place it.

Getting through training was
difficult. I barely ate at lunch and excused myself early. I could see in my
friend’s faces their annoyance with my behavior, but I couldn’t help myself. I
was starting to lose it. I needed to get a grip. I just needed to focus on one
task at a time, and right now, my one task is Cyril. I showed up early to the
Lounge to wait for Glyn. She was late, which seemed odd to me. When she did
come in, the closer she got, the more I realized that she looked strange. Glyn
had a black eye, which she had tried to cover with makeup, but it was so
swollen that she couldn’t mask it.

 “If you wanted me to get hit,
you could’ve just done it yourself. I almost didn’t come, but I figured I owed
you, so.” I sat confused for a second. My confusion registered on Glyn’s face.
“You didn’t know she was going to hit me, did you?”

“No, Glyn I’m sorry, I would’ve
never asked you to do this if I had known. What happened?”

“Well I did like you asked, I
struck up a conversation with her and casually mentioned something about you.
It was barely even negative. Then she got all crazy, calling me a liar, saying
I didn’t know you and before I knew it, she left me with this little gift on my
face!” Glyn’s pitiful appearance and her exclamation were almost comical. Well,
I got the answer I needed. Cyril can be trusted. I’d talk to her tonight. I
apologized to Glyn again and left her just as confused as she was to begin
with. I couldn’t waste any more time. I didn’t even have to find Cyril. She
came to me. She wanted to tell me all about her night with her friend Justin.

“Whoa Cyril, that’s a bit more
detail than I needed!”

“Oh that’s right. I forget. You
have the two hottest guys here nipping at your heels, but you haven’t given
into either one yet.” I frowned at her joke. “Sorry Rai, I just used to be able
to talk with my sister like this, and I guess I miss it.” The same sadness that
I felt flashed across Cyril’s face.

“Look, I do want to talk to you
about this stuff, but not here ok. Let’s take a ride on the shuttle.”

“Ok.” She didn’t question the
change of scenery. This is one of the things I liked most about her. If I
needed something Cyril didn’t need some long drawn out explanation. Many times
it seemed like she could just read my mind. Most things she just knew
intuitively, or she could surmise from what had already happened.

When we arrived at the stop
closest to the wind turbines, she seemed concerned for my hobbling and
struggling with the crutches, but she didn’t try to help me. She knew me well
enough to know that I wouldn’t want it. “You know, there is a Lounge here, with
drinks, and food…”

I didn’t reply to her, but just
kept making my way to large rotating turbines. The noise was so overbearing, I
thought that it must be windier today than it was yesterday.

I grabbed her wrist that had
the PID on it and held it as far away from us as possible. “Cyril”, I was
practically yelling in her ear, “I need to tell you something I’ve only ever
told my mother.” She looked at me, then, knowing exactly why I was holding our
PID’s away from our bodies and why I had drug her out here, away from prying
ears. She nodded for me to continue.

I relayed my ordeal in the
woods that happened a few months ago to her. I realized the risk of it, but I
knew I didn’t have another choice. I needed help, and this is where I was
starting. I couldn’t fear failure, because I was already in the worst possible
position I could be in. Dale was gone, possibly dead. I had to get him back.

“Cyril, the girl Lars was
beating, she had flaming red hair. Her eyes looked just like yours.” I paused
and pulled away from her to look her in the eyes. Then when it set in on her,
Cyril broke down. I couldn’t tell if she was angry with me or not, she was so
devastated. It was like her sister had been brought back to life, only to be
brutally murdered. She was losing her all over again. I felt horrible. Maybe I
had made a mistake. Obviously Cyril trusted me enough to believe my story.  I
let her cry. I waited fifteen minutes, then twenty, twenty-five. She slumped to
the ground. “Get up now, Cyril.” She looked up at me, hurt and confused.
“They’re probably watching us. Act like you dropped something.” She slowly
picked herself up, like she was the heaviest object in the world.

“I’ll kill them all.”

Good, good she’s angry. I need
her drive. Knowing her natural response was to fight, especially judging by
Glyn’s eye, I had to point her anger in the right direction, and only in a
smart manner.

“There’s more to it, Cyril.
They took Dale. I saw them. I saw Lars, the boy who murdered your sister. He
took Dale, not two days ago. I couldn’t stop it.” I felt the tears rush to my
face. I felt the heat, but I suppressed it. I didn’t want to be out here too
long. We had already been out here too long. I couldn’t let them catch on to
what I was doing, and I needed this place.   Cyril reached out and touched my
shoulder. Her bloodshot eyes filled with sympathy and pain. “I think he’s still
alive, though. I have to get him back, but I need your help.”

“I’ll do anything.” I believed
her, too.

“Good, because this will be
dangerous. We could die, but it’s the only way to get Dale back. I’m going to
find a way out of here, but I’ll need a team. I’m talking to Adrian tomorrow.
He should be able to figure something out for me. Lo, Jubal, and Glyn too.”

“No, count Glyn out. She had
some pretty harsh words for you.”

“Actually, I asked her to say
that. I’ll explain later and I’m sorry I had to do this, but I had to make
sure…”

“I see. You needed to trust me.
You should have known you could.”

“I know that now. I just
couldn’t take any chances with this, Cyril.” Tears started to form in my eyes.
“I
have
to get him back.”

She grabbed me by both of my
arms and looked in my eyes. “We
will
get him back.” I knew that my story
would haunt Cyril forever. I hated that she had to hear it from me. I hated
asking this of her, but I had no choice, and she deserved the truth.

“Let’s get back. I’m bringing
Adrian back out here with me tonight. I’m not wasting any time.”

I went to find Adrian. I found
him in his room. He called out for me to come in. He was lying shirtless on his
bed, reading on his tablet. It was a clear device that could be folded to the
size of leaf. He looked surprised to see me. “Hi!” he said enthusiastically.
“Come in.” he patted the spot next to him on the bed.

“Actually, do you think we
could go for a walk?” He looked disappointed, but obliged. It was nearing dark
now and I wanted to reach the turbines while the sun was still out. He aided me
in my hobbling out into the grass and had the same concerns as Cyril. I just
kept going.

“I’ve never actually been out
here before. Never really paid much attention I guess.”  He was yelling over
the roaring turbines.

Looking at him in that moment,
in his naive state and remembering how he and Dale had happily chatted about
whatever nerdy trend was happening, I broke down. Just as Cyril had earlier. I
couldn’t stay strong for another moment. The tears started to flow. He
immediately wrapped his big arms around me and smoothed my hair. Anyone
watching might have just assumed we were out there for privacy, so I let him
console me. I needed the break in my facade. I needed to let go of the tears
holing up inside of me. He stroked my hair and pulled back to look at my face.
He looked so confused. “What’s wrong, Rai? Did I do something?”

“No, I have to tell you
something, Adrian. It’s going to be hard to believe, but I need you to just
trust me, ok?”

“Sure, as long as you stop
crying I’d believe you if you told me the grass was purple.” He smiled trying
to reassure me.

I told him the entire horrific
story of Dale’s abduction. I didn’t go into detail about why I believed that
Ann was behind it, just that she was. I told him how I planned to save Dale. He
stood there in stunned silence.

“Rai, your story is…
incredible.”

“Will you help me? I need to
get out of here, Adrian. I need your help. You wouldn’t have to go with me. I
just need you to find a way for me to get out of here undetected.”

“Rai, I don’t think you should
go.”

“Were you not listening to my
story?” I was nearly hysterical, “I have to go. It’s Dale, Adrian! Dale, who
wouldn’t step on a spider in the house. He had to capture them and release them
back into their natural habitat. He won’t make it there.” Adrian looked at me,
broken, unable and unwilling to stop the gushing flow of tears now wetting my
cheeks and his shirt. I took a break from my sobbing and hysterics and just
looked at him. “I know my story is unbelievable, and you don’t have to believe
it. I just need you to find me a way out of here. I need to break out, just for
a little while at night. But you can’t breathe a word of this to anyone, I
don’t know who I can trust here. OK?”

He nodded and hugged me. I
still didn’t know if he believed my story, but I believed he would help.  He
lifted my head up and wiped away the tears on my cheeks. He softly kissed me on
the lips. “Let’s get back. You still need to eat and take care of yourself,
Rai.” I felt a twinge of guilt at it, but Shane was the least of my concerns. I
needed to focus on Ann tomorrow. I needed to get her to believe that I wanted
to be like her. That I
admired
her. The thought made me cringe, but I
would do anything to get Dale back.

The next morning, I walked into
Training and got my wish. Ann was sitting at her desk, ignoring me, holding her
tablet and staring at it intently. She looked as if she hadn’t slept well and
tried to cover the dark circles under her eyes with makeup. Welcome to my
world, Ann. Shane sat in a corner, away from Ann, not facing her. When I walked
in with Cyril, he did not take his eyes off of me. Ann spoke to me without so
much as glancing in my direction, “Ms. Stone, how are your studies going? I
trust Shane is helping to guide you.”

Shane did not acknowledge his
mother. It was then that I noticed a gash on his left cheek. “It’s going well.”
I used an indifferent tone. I didn’t want to tip her off. “Just ease into the
waters, here, Raily,” I thought to myself.

“Excellent. Ms. Stone, quite
frankly, I’m a bit too busy and exhausted to be dealing with much training with
you today.”

I didn’t let her finish. “You
should let me help.” It was this that gave her pause and made her look me in
the eyes. “I could probably learn something from your day to day.”

I couldn’t tell if Ann was flattered,
confused, or just bored. Her expression was blank. “Thanks, but no thanks.  I
have my own helper.” She glanced at Cyril. “Shane, you two can carry on.” I
hated the way that she dismissed Cyril, she never even counted her as a person.
Shane immediately got up and opened the door for me. I was getting around
better today and was experiencing far less pain. They had given me a shot that
the nurses said would accelerate the healing process. She said the two weeks
was just a formality and that I would be back to new in no time. I didn’t
believe her then, but when I put weight on my leg today, it wasn’t nearly as
excruciating as I thought it would be.  I probably wouldn’t even need the
crutches for more than a few more days.

I stole a glance at Cyril, to
make sure that she wouldn’t, as I had wanted to the first day after seeing Ann,
try to strangle Ann to death. She was a better actor than I and acted with cool
indifference. Not that Ann ever paid her any attention anyway. She kept up with
her act as soon as we were out of the door. If I hadn’t known any different,
I’d say she was the same old Cyril as yesterday. She asked Shane what happened
to his face.

He did not reply, just simply
shrugged and kept walking. This was the first time I had seen him since he
decked Oren. “Raily, you are looking just fine today.” He said to me with a
crooked grin. I guess whatever happened to him did nothing to dampen his
spirits. I decided it would be in my best interest not to piss him off, so I
figured I would act just as I always did with Shane. I rolled my eyes at him,
which made his grin even wider.  Cyril zoned out for the rest of the walk, I
could see the wheels turning in her head.

This morning was weight
lifting. Shane walked away for a few minutes and Cyril said to me, “I really
like that Shane.”

I looked at her with a frown. I
could tell she was making a statement, but I couldn’t figure out why she would
say this.

“I mean,” she continued, “sure
he’s a  little rough around the edges and sometimes it’s really hard to know if
you can trust if he is joking or being serious, but I like him. I trust him, I
mean, you know... I think he knows what he’s doing.”

Cyril was trying to tell me
that she didn’t think Shane was behind any of this. That she didn’t think he
knew about the kidnappings. How could she believe that?

I elbowed her playfully, “You
just like to look at him, Cyril. It’s very hard to tell with him, but I don’t
know.” She frowned. She knew then that I believed he was not on our side.

“You’re not wrong about that.
But I think you’re wrong about him, Rai.” I gave it some thought, but I still
didn’t trust him. It was too risky of a move. My instincts had been to believe
him up to this point, though. If he had lied to me, he had been a convincing
liar. Which made him that much more dangerous.

Cyril switched gears on me, “So
did you and Adrian have a nice time last night?” She’s a smart girl. The dance of
a conversation we were having wouldn’t be construed as anything but normal.

“We did. He’s trying to help me
become more tech savvy, if you could believe that.”

“Good, you need it.” Shane came
strolling back up and told me that I needed a water break. Cyril jumped up,
“I’m on it.” Cyril did not hesitate to leave me alone with Shane. She must
really believe in his innocence. How could she with the connection that he had?

He pulled the barbell out of my
hands and put it back in its place. He then straddled the bench to sit directly
in front of me, just a little too closely and pulled my leg up gently and
rested it on top of his. He unbuckled the cast slowly and ran his hand slowly
over the ugly bruised, swollen part of my leg.

“Are you in Medicine, now?”

“It’s looking good.” He gave my
leg one more unnecessary, gratuitous pat, and put it back down gently on the
floor. “Oh Raily, that temper of yours. I really quite admire it, but it’s
getting you into trouble.”

“You’re one to talk.” I tapped
my own cheek where his gash was, “What happened there, did you fall down?” I
knew it was something else, he was much too graceful of a person to trip and
fall, unless he’d been drinking, that is. Even then, I couldn’t picture him
stumbling around.

His face turned serious for a
moment. “What happened, Raily? Tell me the truth.”

I figured telling him the truth
wasn’t a terrible idea, he would be able to find out from any of the hundreds
who saw it, anyway.  “Oren was trying to punish Glyn for some bogus reason and
I took her place.” I said it a little too angrily. I needed to dial it down. I
looked at his face to try to see what his reaction was, if I could detect
anything other than surprise. I needed to know if he knew about the plan or
not.

“He must have known you would
do that, Raily. He’s trying to get to you. You can’t throw yourself in front of
every person that’s about to take a hit. You did it during the simulations and
you did it then.” If he knew about the planned beating, I couldn’t tell it. It
seemed like this was all new information that he was processing. Why couldn’t I
read him? He had to know. Unless Cyril was right, and Shane really had no idea
what kind of monster had given birth to him.

“What would you have done?” I
asked him. He didn’t say anything. “That’s what I thought.”