Rites of Passage (11 page)

I move, snapping to parade rest, holding the position for five seconds, then snapping back to attention. The cadets cheer like I've just taken my first baby steps. Humiliated, I make the move again. Two down.

ELEVEN

“IF YOU CALL ME CROSS AGAIN, I'M GOING TO SLAP YOU.
My name is
Bekah
,” Cross—no,
Bekah—
says as she strums one of Rev's guitars, playing some rock song I've never heard.

“All right,
Bekah
,” I say, and then repeat my question. “What are we going to do about my roommate?” My concern about Katie being able to hack it in the Corps has ramped up since training last night.

“Get her to quit?”

When I glare at her, she does some crazy-insane strum to end the song.

“What? Don't tell me you weren't thinking the same thing.”

“We've got to stick together,” I say lamely.

“You and I, yes. I can understand the logic. But if last night's debacle is any indication, we need to distance ourselves. She's still in the infirmary and Matthews already wants us to go check on her during sick call. All over a freaking blister.”

Picking at the carpet up by the altar, I weigh my options. In a twisted way I know she's right. We're only going to survive if the two of us ditch her. But I can't imagine doing that. “I won't turn on her. We've just got to work harder to make her understand what she's got to do.”

“Look, some people are made for this. You're here because of your family. I'm here because I got a scholarship, and if I wasn't here, I'd probably be in some alternative school or juvie. I'm not taking the chance they're going to turn on me and I know you don't want them to turn on you, either.”

“You mean, you were ordered here?” I never pictured Bekah as a juvie kind of girl.

“We're not talking about me right now,” she snaps.

I look at her for a few more seconds, trying to see something that she won't show me. “Katie'll be fine. I'll talk to her and make her understand.”

“Good luck with that,” she says, but her eyes are on Kelly and his roommate at the back of the chapel, playing cards.

“You talked to Kelly yet?”

“Nah. It's obvious he's into you.” She shrugs, though, not too upset. “There's someone on the track team who's pretty hot, though.”

“Is there any point reminding you we're not supposed to date?”

“No. But I'll keep it secret if anything happens.”

I wish I had her nonchalance about everything rule-wise here. Sure it's a stupid rule, like a lot of the DMA rules, but I can't bring myself to break them. “I didn't mean that. You can tell me anything. It's just I really don't think—”

“Just drop it, okay?” She starts strumming another song. “So, are you going to do it?” She's talking about the meeting with my mystery emailer that I'm supposed to have tomorrow night during the movie.

With Katie in the infirmary, I needed someone to talk to. I knew Kelly would demand to go so I trusted that Bekah would give me the most impartial advice. She'd jumped right on the idea, of course, and I haven't been able to make her see reason since. “No. Of course not.”

“You're not even the slightest bit curious as to who's sending you secret emails and stashing clothes for you in the science building? Maybe it's some upperclassman that has the hots for you!”

“Yes, I'm curious, but that doesn't mean I can act on it. It's probably a trap, anyway. They probably just said they would help to get me to come and then they'll get me in trouble for being in civilian clothes off campus.” I tell myself that what I'm saying is the truth, ignore the curiosity that always got me in trouble with my brothers at home. If there weren't so much at stake, I'd be planning my attack on the coffee shop right now.

“Are you always like this? ‘I'm not going to break rules'? It's kind of annoying.” She stops strumming and stares at me.

“About inconsequential stuff? Yes. Meeting this random person isn't going to get me closer to finishing the year.”

“It figures,” she sighs, sounding more resigned than mean.

“I'll just go to the movie and hang out with you.”

“About that,” she says,
tsk
ing. “I don't think I'm going.”

“Have something better to do?”

“The track team is getting together for a social. Coach wants me to come and Matthews has already given me permission.”

“You've got to be careful, you know. I know you want to hang out with them and everything, but—”

“I can take care of myself, Mac.” Bekah gives the guitar one last strum before taking the strap off and putting it in Rev's case. “I've got to get to class. See you at third mess.”

“Sure.” I glance at my watch. It's almost time for my meeting with Jonathan anyway.

“If we don't get to talk before tomorrow, have fun at the movie and skipping out on some mysterious hottie's email.”

I roll my eyes. “Yeah, thanks. Have fun making out with some upperclassman.”

“Oh, I plan to.” She grabs her pack and walks back to Kelly and Ritchie. All three walk out of the chapel and I head downstairs to meet Jonathan.

He's on the offensive before I even close the door. “You going to the movie tonight?”

“Hi to you, too. I'm great. Yes, I'm going to the movie.”

“I don't know if you should.”

I can't read his tone. “You're kidding, right? It's the first time I've gotten even a little break since I started.”

“You get a break every Sunday afternoon. You can watch movies then.”

“This is the first time I get to do something normal.”

“Do you know how this will look? You packed in a movie theater with almost a hundred guys?”

“What do you think I'm going to do, Jonathan? Jump all of them one after another?”

His face flushes red and he hesitates before continuing. “I just think you need to distance yourself from them. It's not going to be easy to keep your name clear if you're with them all the time.”

I laugh at the absurdity of what he's saying. “You're being ridiculous. I'll be with my recruit buddies. None of them will let anything happen to me. None of them will
try
anything with me.”

“There's already talk about the three of you.”

“What do you mean?”

“Lyons says your roommate is in the infirmary all the time and the other girl is with the track team more than she's not—it won't be long before people start talking about
you
like that.”

I ignore the implication that he thinks I'll give them a reason to gossip about the McKenna female. “I'm following the rules, Jonathan. I promise.”

He changes the topic after that and we try to guess where they might have sent Dad, how many pills Mom's popping a day while he's gone. All too soon it's time to go. Even though he pisses me off, he's my brother, and I feel safe with him. I promise to keep my distance from the Worms, but I don't change my mind about going to the movie, even when he asks again. The higher-ups are giving me a chance to have a night off and I'm going to take it.

 

Katie's still at the infirmary so I'm the only girl when the recruits of Alpha Company pack ourselves in to the auditorium. I'm looking forward to the darkness that will surround me for the next two hours. Someone gave us all popcorn and soda—I guess it's the least they can do to make us feel a bit better about all the abuse. How sweet.

The lights go down in the auditorium and the movie starts promptly at nine, the exact time I'm supposed to be wearing civilian clothes and meeting my emailer. I'm ducked down in my seat, though, preparing for a two-hour nap before going to bed. When Kelly shuffles around, trying to get comfortable, his leg comes to rest against mine. I scoot to my right.

“You okay?” Kelly whispers. He keeps his eyes on the screen but he's got a grin on his face.

“Yeah. Just tired.”

He shifts again, and before I know it, we're back where we started, legs pressed against each other and uneasiness hanging between us. I rest my left hand awkwardly in my lap, not wanting to get so near him that he thinks I'm doing a weird first date hand-holding maneuver.

Someone slips into the seat next to me and I wonder for a second if Bekah changed her mind. But when I look, even though the girl is blonde, she's not at all like Bekah. She's in camo while the rest of us are in PT gear and she doesn't have a recruit name tag.

I glance around, checking to see if anyone's noticed, but it's too dark in here for them to see that it's not Bekah. Shifting in my seat, I move a little closer to Kelly, despite what he might read into the movement.

“You're late,” she whispers.

I look again. “Excuse me?” I try to keep my voice quiet, but I've got to talk over the war playing out on the screen in front of us.

“You were supposed to meet me at the coffee shop in town.”

It takes me a second to process what she's said and what it means. She's the emailer. It was never an upperclassman after all. I almost laugh out loud. Bekah's going to be so disappointed.

In the light from the movie screen, I can see purple highlights in her hair. The makeup on her eyebrows is thick and anything but subtle. I lean on the armrest between me and mystery girl. “I couldn't risk it,” I whisper, hoping that Kelly is either asleep by now or wrapped up in the shooting on screen.

“Girls' bathroom? I'm just asking for five minutes. It's important.”

When she leaves, I sit there, my hands clenched into fists on my lap. Whoever-she-is has no idea how much trouble I can get in for civilian clothes and sneaking off campus. We aren't even allowed to bring them until after we're recognized as cadets. But she's emailed twice and is here now—the least I can do is hear her out.

Kelly turns toward me when I stand, but I stop him before he talks.

“Bathroom,” I say, and head up the aisle and out into the hallway. It's empty, the upperclassmen in their rooms or off campus for the evening.

When I slip into the bathroom, I close the door and stand in front of it so no one can get in. “Hello?”

“I'm here,” she says from inside the only stall. The lock squeaks as she turns it and comes out.

I look at her uniform again and still don't understand. “I was worried you were an upperclassman. I guess I was wrong.”

She stands next to a urinal they didn't bother removing when they made this a female bathroom this year. “Obviously.” She picks at her black fingernail polish.

“If you're not going to tell me why you wanted to meet me, I need to get back to the movie. They'll miss me.”

“Who will?”

“My recruit buddies.”

“All the guys in there are glued to the screen. Your roommate's in the infirmary. The other female recruit is headed across campus as we speak to hang out with the track team.”

“What? How do you know—”

Her gray eyes stare into mine. “You've got a lot of people who don't want you here. You know that, right?”

“I had no idea,” I say, putting a southern belle hand against my chest. “Why ever would anyone hate little ol' me?” I clear my throat and talk like normal again. “What do you want from me?”

“Honestly? I want you to listen to me. To take me seriously. Lieutenant Colonel McKenna's daughter is probably made of stronger stuff than many other females, right? But even you can't do this on your own.” She sighs. “Would you settle for letting me help you survive this year without getting yourself killed?”

I laugh. “They may not like me but they're not going to hurt me. Say some shit to scare me, make me feel like crap, sure, but you're overreacting.”

“Am I?” She pulls a piece of paper out of her pocket and hands it to me. “Do you know that right now there's an email circulating through the Corps offering money to the cadet who can get you out the quickest? They're also taking bets on when they think you three will quit. The winner gets over a thousand bucks at this point and more money comes in every day.”

“You're lying.”

“Here. Take it.” She shoves the paper in my hand. “Take a look at your odds. See who thinks they can get you to quit the fastest.”

Before I can say anything else, someone pushes against the door, then knocks. “McKenna?”

It's Kelly.

“Yeah,” I say, my voice all breathy. “I'll be out in a second.”

“You okay?”

“I'm fine, Kelly. Just give me a second.”

The girl glares at the door, but the smile on her face tells me she's not all that mad.

“I'm coming in,” he says, and pushes against the door with enough force that I stumble inward. My mystery emailer reaches out and catches me. I slip the paper in the front pocket of my hoodie just as the door swings open.

Kelly steps into the bathroom, closing the door behind him. His eyes get wide when he notices the girl in the bathroom with me. “Jax?” he says. “What are you doing here?” He's looking at her like he's seen a ghost. Or maybe an ex-girlfriend.

 

I'm perched on my windowsill, watching the stillness of the campus below. The movie was over hours ago, but I can't sleep. The piece of paper Jax gave me sits on my desk, the names of those betting against me burned into my brain. Matthews is at the top of the list.

Evers is right up there, too, but I already knew they wanted me out. They don't do anything to hide it or to help me along. Still, the fact that they're betting against me shows me how seriously they're taking the challenge. The rest of the names are unfamiliar.

If Kelly hadn't barged in and had a freaking middle school reunion right there in the bathroom I could have asked Jax more—how she'd found this information out, what else she knew. But I'd understood the look in Jax's eyes—the one warning me not to tell Kelly what was going on. She played it off like she was trying to find him and I slipped out and back into the movie.