Riverbend Road (23 page)

He thought his heart couldn't rip apart any more but the tear sliding down her cheek showed he was wrong. Why did she have to push and push and push? He had hoped she never had to know the truth about the man she had idealized—or the sins on his own head.

“What happened, Cade? Please. I need to know. Did my dad shoot an unarmed man?”

He raked a hand through his hair, wishing he could wrap her in his arms and tuck her cheek against his chest. “You know how things can be in the heat of the moment, Wyn. Maybe John saw the guy reaching for his gun again, I don't know. I have to think maybe he saw something I didn't.”

She let out a shaky breath. “He fired on a suspect while the man had his hands up in the air and his weapon on the ground. How could he?”

He couldn't stand the appalled hurt, that sense of innocence lost in her voice. He had to tell her, no matter the consequences. “Don't blame your dad. It wasn't his fault.” He faced her squarely. “It was mine.”

She stared at him, that tear still trickling down her cheek. He longed to wipe it away but knew she wouldn't welcome anything from him now.

“What are you talking about?” she whispered.

Here it was, the real reason he had kept the truth from her. Marshall knew. He had asked him outright, after the shooting, and Cade hadn't been able to lie to his best friend. Marshall hadn't blamed him but he wasn't sure Wynona would see things the same way.

“Your dad wasn't fit for duty. He hadn't been for a couple of months before the shooting.”

She stared, her eyes huge. “He...what?”

“I should have reported him. I should have talked to the mayor, the city council, the sheriff at the time. Even your mom. But I didn't. I tried to protect him and did my best to cover for him as much as I could. I tried to talk to him about it, to tell him he needed to see a doctor. He...wouldn't listen.”

He didn't tell her of the growing rift between him and John the last few months, how the man he loved and respected like a father had started to make cruel comments, belittling Cade just like his own father had.

He should have stepped up then, knowing that wasn't the John Bailey he knew, but he hadn't been able to see past his own hurt at the time. If he hadn't been so self-absorbed about that part of things, he might have noticed earlier that John had started making serious procedural mistakes.

Wyn's features had paled and she grabbed hold of the table in her foyer as if she wasn't sure her legs would support her.

That stupid witness report. He thought again that he should have shredded the damn thing when he'd had the chance, then he wouldn't be here having this horrible conversation with her.

“What are you saying?” she asked.

“It doesn't matter now, Wyn. Please. Just let it go.”

“Tell me! What do you think was going on? You think he was...impaired or something? How? He didn't drink or take any medications, as far as I know.”

She sounded like a lost, frightened girl, and he couldn't fight back the need to touch her any longer. He reached out and took her hand in his. It was cold and her fingers trembled slightly.

“I can't prove any of it, especially now, years after the fact, but... I believe your dad might have been suffering from a physical or mental condition. Maybe the beginning stages of some kind of early-onset senility, like your grandmother.”

She stared blankly. “Alzheimer's?”

“It's a theory, anyway. The brain injury sort of covered any symptoms that might have shown themselves later. I only know John was...not himself for weeks before. He was suddenly mean-tempered and he would get confused at the simplest of tasks and then lash out at me or one of the other officers if we tried to help. I covered for him the best I could, started picking up the slack, while I tried to convince him to see someone.”

“Alzheimer's.”

She sounded numb, her voice hollow.

“I'm sorry. Now you see why I wanted you to let this drop. You didn't need to know.”

“Did my mother know? Anyone else in my family?”

“I don't know about Charlene. Marsh and I talked about it. He suspected something was wrong but couldn't put a finger on what. Please don't cry, Wyn.”

Her tears ripped at his heart, because they were so very rare. He had seen her cry at Wyatt's funeral and at John's but otherwise she always seemed so strong.

He thought of what courage and strength it must have taken her to be a witness in the trial of her rapist. He suddenly remembered another incident a few months after she came to work for the department, when an unrestrained baby had been killed in a car accident they both had responded to. She had dealt with the investigation in a brisk, no-nonsense way but had escaped to her patrol vehicle at the first opportunity.

He hadn't dared look then because he had known in his heart she would be weeping.

He couldn't look away now.

“I'm sorry,” he murmured, finally pulling her into his arms. “I'm so sorry. It wasn't his fault, it was mine. Don't you see that? He wasn't fit for duty and I should have reported him. I've regretted it every single day of these last two years. I should never have let my love and respect for him interfere with my duty. If I had acted, he could have gotten help, maybe. Delayed the onset of the symptoms a little. He might still be here.”

“Why didn't you tell me? Did you think I wasn't strong enough to take it?”

“How could I ever think that? You're the strongest person I know, Wyn.” She had testified in a rape trial, had survived losing her twin, had watched the father she loved spend two agonizing years in a nursing home.

“Then why try to protect me from the truth?”

“It wasn't about protecting you. I told myself it was but I was really protecting myself. I didn't want you to blame me.”

He regretted the words as soon as he said them, afraid they revealed far too much about what was in his heart. Her gaze lifted to his and the moment seemed to stretch and thin between them. He did his best to keep his feelings for her locked away but he wasn't sure he was completely successful.

She let out a shuddering little breath. “You weren't responsible for what happened that night, Cade. You can't think that. Joseph Barlow was the one who robbed the liquor store then shot at the pursuing officers. If he hadn't, none of this would have happened. You loved my father and tried to do everything you could to protect him. I know that.”

Her words soaked through him, sweet and cleansing, and he felt as if a weight the size of the Redemptions had been lifted from his shoulders.

“Thank you for telling me. I know it was...painful,” she murmured. She stood on tiptoe and pressed a soft kiss to the corner of his mouth.

He wanted to hold her tight, to dry every tear, kiss away every pain, but he knew he didn't have that right.

She was leaving. The reminder sliced through him.

“I don't want you to go, Wyn,” he said, his voice low, when she stepped away. “You're my best officer. You're vital to my department.”

“I don't
want
to be vital to the department,” she answered solemnly. “I only want to be vital to
you
. I'm in love with you, Cade. Don't you get it?”

Her words quivered between them, vibrating like a plucked bowstring, and he felt as if the arrow had lodged right in his chest.

She couldn't be. It was impossible. Emotions seemed to tangle his thoughts and his words—joy, terror, happiness, despair.

Before he could sift through them all to come up with an answer, he heard women's voices then laughter outside, just before the doorbell rang.

Some instinct for self-preservation had him stepping away just an instant before her sister, Katrina, came through the door without waiting for Wyn to answer, followed closely by Sam Fremont.

Katrina stopped the moment she spotted them and her expression tightened with the same suspicion from that day at her mother's house.

Sam snickered. “Ooh, you didn't tell us you were hiring a male stripper for the bridal shower. Smart move, Wynnie. The hot-cop thing always works for me.” She held her arms out in front of her, palms up. “You'd better arrest me, Officer. I've been
so bad
.”

Katrina smiled at her friend, but Cade noticed it didn't quite hit her eyes. Her gaze continued to shift between them and he was quite certain she noticed the tear tracks on Wyn's face.

Despite them, Wyn looked lovely, her eyes huge and dewy, her color rosy, soft. He wanted to drag her away from the other two women and have this out, once and for all, to tell her all the hundreds of reasons she couldn't be in love with him.

He couldn't do that now, with her sister and Sam watching both of them with such avid interest. Wynona was supposed to be hosting a party in a few hours, a celebration for her dear friend, and he had selfishly burst in here without thinking and dragged them both through an emotional bloodbath.

“I should...go.” Despite his two tours of duty and the years he had put his life on the line as a police officer, apparently he was nothing but a lousy coward, at least when it came to Wynona Bailey.

“Cade,” she began, her voice small and uncertain. She hadn't met his gaze since her sister walked in.

“We'll talk later,” he promised. “Maybe after your guests leave.”

She swallowed and nodded. Pete padded after him to the door and Cade stopped to pat the dog one last time before he slipped out.

As he walked to his car, her simple yet earthshaking words seemed to echo through his head.
I'm in love with you, Cade. Don't you get it?

He wanted, more than anything, to tell her he felt the same. She had told him she didn't want to be vital to the department, only to him. He wanted to tell her she was more vital than oxygen or water or food, that he needed her desperately.

He just wasn't sure if he had her kind of courage.

CHAPTER TWENTY

W
ELL
. T
HAT
WAS
FUN
.

Wyn felt battered and achy, as if she'd just survived a long run through Class 5 rapids on the Hell's Fury.

I don't want to be vital to the department. I only want to be vital to you. I'm in love with you.

Had she really dared to say those words to him? She wanted to cringe, to grab a kayak, jump into the river and just keep floating to the ocean.

Why on earth had she blurted them out like that? One moment, they had been talking about her father and his behavior before the shooting, and then next she was flapping her stupid lips about things that never should have been spoken.

He had just been so tender with her, holding her with sweet gentleness while she grieved all over again for the father she had loved. She had wanted to stay in his arms, safe and warm, forever.

And then she ruined everything.

She had completely stunned him. His eyes had widened with shock and he had stared at her as if he didn't quite believe what he'd just heard—though for a moment there, she thought she'd seen something else, something hot and blazing and filled with joy. She wasn't sure if she had imagined it, though, because Sam and Kat had burst in right after that.

What had she done?

She was going to have to work with him for at least another month, unless she took all the vacation she had accrued. How could she even face him again for five seconds, forget about day after day of having to talk to him about arrests and cases and paperwork?

The words were out there and she couldn't take them back.

We'll talk later. Maybe after your guests leave
, he had said.

Great. She only needed to throw a party for three dozen women, and then she had
that
to look forward to.

“What did Cade want?” Katrina asked. Her sister hadn't stopped frowning since she walked in.

“Police business,” she answered shortly. It wasn't really a lie. Everything between them seemed to come down to the job.

“He seemed upset,” Kat pressed. “You do too. Were you having a fight?”

A fight? No. If he was upset, it was probably because she had just bared her soul to him.

Not initially, she reminded herself. He had stopped in the first place after learning her plans to return to Boise State. She had been wrong to keep her intentions a secret, from Cade or from her family.

“He just found out I'm moving back to Boise to finish up my degree,” Wyn said. “He's a little annoyed with me for leaving him shorthanded.”

It took Kat about five seconds to process the news. “What?! You're moving to Boise? Why didn't you tell me?”

“I just did,” she pointed out.

“Does Mom know?”

That was another bridge she would have to cross. “Not yet. Please don't say anything until I have a chance to let her know.”

“What will you do after school?” her sister asked.

“I don't know yet. Not police work.”

Kat nodded as if it didn't surprise her. To her gratification, her sister hugged her. “You'll figure it out and it will be the perfect thing for you.”

Katrina's faith in her almost made her cry all over again.

“I'll miss you tons,” her sister murmured.

“I'll miss you too. But I'm not going anywhere for a month and it's only until next spring. Besides, Boise's not that far away and I'll be back and forth for a while. I might even be able to find a job somewhere around Lake Haven after I'm done.”

“What about your house?” Kat asked. “Are you going to sell it?”

She hadn't thought that far ahead. She loved this house and had been so excited to buy it from her grandmother's estate after she moved back to Haven Point.

“I don't know yet. I'm sure I can rent it out until I figure that out. It's not something I have to figure out right now. Classes don't start until August so I've got time to look at all my options. Meanwhile, we've got a shower to throw, right?”

Katrina smiled and hugged her again, though she had a feeling her sister wasn't quite convinced that was the only reason for Wyn to be upset.

* * *

W
YN
DID
HER
best to ignore Katrina's worried looks throughout the evening as she set out food and organized games and helped McKenzie keep track of her gifts.

It was harder to ignore the echo of her own words and the cold dread in her gut that she had ruined everything.

I'm in love with you.

She was so
stupid
and right now she would give anything to go back in time and swallow those words.

She would have time to fall apart later. For now, her focus needed to be on making sure everything was perfect for her dear friend.

Finally, the last gift had been unwrapped, the last wine bottle opened, the last bawdy innuendo from the Brewer sisters delivered—wink and all—and the party started to break up.

McKenzie hugged all of her friends on their way out but saved her biggest hug for Wynona. “Thank you so much for everything. This was the best shower
ever
.”

“You are welcome, Kenz. You and Ben are going to be so happy.”

“We all left a mess,” Devin said, surveying the patio. “We'll stay and help you clean up.”

“You will not,” Andie Montgomery said sternly. “Neither one of you is lifting a finger.
I'm
staying to help clean up. I already told Katrina and Sam to take off.”

“We're happy to,” Devin protested. “I'm the maid of honor. I was supposed to be throwing the shower anyway. I owe you for taking over. If it had been left to me, we might have ended up having it at the hospital cafeteria.”

“You helped tons with the food and the party planning,” Wyn said. “Somebody needs to drive Kenz and her gifts home. That's you. Anyway, you have enough to do, planning your own wedding.”

It took a bit more wrangling but she and Andie were finally able to persuade the Shaw sisters to leave.

“Whew,” Andie said after she closed the door on them. “Getting the two of them to finally leave was harder than that crazy honeymoon trivia game you made us play.”

Wynona managed a smile, though now that the urgency of throwing the shower had passed, she could feel the emotion and uncertainty pressing in again.

Andie must have picked up on it. “What's wrong?” she asked softly, her pretty features concerned.

Wyn couldn't help noticing the other woman had a new calm about her. Even though she had relaxed the last few weeks, obtaining the protective order that morning seemed to be empowering for her. She was no longer skittish, anxious. She seemed...serene, somehow.

Had it really been just that morning? It seemed a lifetime ago. So much had happened,
Wyn
didn't feel like the same person.

She forced a smile now. “Nothing's wrong,” she lied. “It's been a long day.”

“Why don't you go to bed and let me clean this up?”

“Forget it,” she exclaimed. “My house, my mess. It looks worse than it really is, anyway. We mostly just have to throw away the garbage and take down a few decorations. Sam and Katrina did a good job of keeping up with the dishes throughout the night. It shouldn't take us long.”

Her words turned out to be prophetic. Between the two of them, they set the house and patio to order in less than half an hour.

“You need to take some of this leftover food home to your kids,” Wyn said as they were finishing up in the kitchen. “Oh, and don't forget your pickles.”

Andie made a face, looking at the gigantic gallon-sized jar of dill pickles she had received as a gag prize for winning one of the shower games.

“You can keep it. Really. I'm never going to eat this many pickles. Take it down to the police station with you and give them out to people who come in with complaints or something.”

“You're too generous. I insist. I'll even carry it home for you. I'm in the mood for a walk.”

Somehow she was going to have to come up with the strength to talk to Cade. Better to take the initiative and stop in at his house, rather than to let it fester between them, making them forever awkward with each other.

She would just tell him, yes, she was in love with him and she understood he didn't feel the same. She would get over it once she moved on with her life.

It was a lie, but with a little work she could probably sell it.

As she might have expected, Pete perked up at the magic word
walk
so she grabbed his leash, picked up the giant jar of pickles, then headed out into the summer night beside Andie.

“I didn't have the chance to talk with you about this earlier, but who's babysitting Will and Chloe?” she asked, as they passed the Jacobses' home and the sweet, elegant scent of roses growing along the fence.

“Barbara Serrano recommended her youngest daughter. She seems like a nice girl.”

“Parker. She really is. I used to babysit
her
, before she could even talk. That makes me feel old.”

“You're not old. Trust me. Wait until you have kids, then you'll feel old.”

Wynona did her best to ignore the clutch in her stomach. Maybe she wouldn't have children. She had given her heart to a man who didn't know what to do with it.

Stars spangled the sky overhead and she could hear the river gurgling beyond the trees. Oh, it would be hard to leave this place she loved so much.

“If I haven't said it today, thank you.”

At the words, Wyn looked over at the woman walking beside her. Andie seemed to be much lighter of step, despite the packages of food she carried.

“For?” she asked.

“
Everything.
This morning, standing by me. Inviting me tonight. Making me feel so welcome here in Haven Point. Being my friend. Most of all, I guess, for giving me hope again that I can move past everything and get my life back. Between the restraining order and our phone call, Rob has to know I'm not going to sit by anymore and play the victim. You gave me the courage to do that.”

“No, you had it all along,” Wyn insisted. Andie had only needed someone to help her uncover it from beneath all the rubble of her pain. She had done the same, after her attack followed so closely by Wyatt's devastating death. Moved forward. Surely she could recover from this too.

“I made an appointment to see that counselor you suggested,” Andie said.

She managed a smile. “I'm so glad.”

“You were right. I was giving someone else too much power over my life, even though I moved five hundred miles away from him. No more.”

“Good for you,” Wynona said as Pete led the way up the steps. The dog paused at the door, sniffing the air, probably on alert for one of the Jacobses' cats, who tended to wander.

“I don't hear any chaos from within, so I guess Parker survived the two-kid demolition team,” Andie said.

This time Wyn's smile was a little more genuine. “Your kids are the sweetest. Now, if you want to see a two-kid demolition team, you should check out Lindy-Grace's boys. Just ask Darwin Twitchell, if you don't believe me.”

Pete growled and she frowned at his unusual behavior. “Hey. Behave yourself. Children are sleeping inside.”

He wouldn't go anywhere without her, she knew, but she still looped the leash around a newel on the porch steps while Andie unlocked the door.

“Parker,” she called softly. “I'm back.”

No answer greeted her and the lights were out.

“They must have completely tired her out,” she said with a laugh.

She flipped on the living room light and then made a small, terrified sound and dropped the bowl she carried. It clattered to the floor, spilling bits of pasta salad everywhere.

All the color leached from her features like a photograph exposed to harsh sunlight and the other woman's gaze fixed on the man who sat on the living room sofa, with a sleeping Will curled up against his chest.

“Hello, Andrea,” he said with a smile that sent jagged icicles down Wyn's spine.

He had sandy-blond hair and a cop's mustache and she knew instantly this had to be Rob Warren.

The son of a bitch.

How dare he show up now, when the only weapon she had was a gallon-sized jar of pickles?

He held a finger to his lips. “Shhh,” he said, with that cold smile she wanted to smack away. “You don't want to wake the little guy.”

“Wh-where's Parker?” Andie said, her eyes frantic.

“I sent her home,” he said, still with that smarmy smile.

“And she just...left?”

“I paid her. Don't worry. Very generously, actually. She didn't want to leave without calling to check with you first but I convinced her she would ruin my big surprise if she told you I was here. The kids were both so happy to see me.”

Wyn's brain felt foggy, numb, as if she'd had far more than one glass of wine, but she forced herself to assess the scene. She could see a black handgun on the table next to him. With Will sleeping in Warren's lap, Wyn could think of no possible way under the circumstances to disarm the other cop safely.

She needed backup and she needed a weapon.

Cade. He would have a spare weapon and extra ammunition. She could have him here in two minutes, and then both of them could arrest Robert Freaking Warren.

“Who's your friend?” he asked.

Andie didn't say anything, her features pale as skim milk.

Wyn knew in an instant she couldn't tell him her real name. He would connect it with the female officer who had spoken with him earlier that day, when she had warned him in no uncertain terms never to come to Haven Point.

He struck her as a cornered rat, dangerous and canny, and she decided her best play was to keep her true identity a secret.