Road to Destiny (Scorpio Stinger MC Book 5) (7 page)

“Make way for the medics. I’ve brought someone to help Malone,” Summers ordered. Both Savage and I stepped to the side to let two men carrying a black bag and a stretcher get closer to Cobra. Thank fuck he’d thought of that and they could attend to him immediately.

If he was still alive.

I shot Summers a nod of gratitude and he simply lifted his chin in acknowledgement. In that instant we made some kind of connection. Finally.

The crunching of glass on gravel as they got closer gave me the cold shivers. It reminded me that bullets had shattered the glass and were now lodged somewhere in Cobra’s body.

Summers ran to the passenger side and opened the door to get to Mia. “I’m going to deflate the airbag and get you out of here as soon as possible. Just sit still, okay?”

“The children—get the children out first, please Harrison,” Mia pleaded.

“No, I need to get you out first so you can help me calm the kids down.”

Another shot rang out, scraping past my ear. If I hadn’t just moved a few steps away that bullet would most likely have been inside my skull. My eardrums were about to burst and my head pounded with pain.

“Jesus, those fuckers aren’t giving up,” Savage yelled while pointing to the house across the road from the club. “Get the team in there. Bring the gunmen down.”

Six men ran across the road in single file, their guns ready to fire. I turned my attention back to Summers. “Is an ambulance coming?” I asked as the medics took out their equipment to attend to Cobra. “He needs to get to a hospital, and fast.”

“Yeah, they should be here at any time. But it could be too late for Cobra.”

“No!” Mia’s face contorted in pain. “No, no, no.”

I glared at Summers. Was the man an idiot? He wasn’t a fucking doctor, so how could he know.

He gave me an apologetic shrug. Just like that I was mad at him again.

The medic put his ear close to Cobra’s mouth. “I’m not getting any sign of breathing. I think he’s gone.”

“Shut the fuck up,” I warned, fisting my hands by my sides.  “You don’t know what you’re saying. Cobra’s a fighter, he won’t be fucking offed this way.”

Savage put his arm across my back. “Hey Ryder, I’m really sorry, but we gotta face the facts, man.”

I shrugged him off and took a step closer to Cobra. My gut instinct told me that he was still hanging in there, even if it was on the thinnest of thin threads. “You do whatever you need to keep this man alive if you don’t want me in your nightmares,” I barked to the young man closest to me.

“We’re doing our best,” he said. “He’s lost a lot of blood.”

Savage had helped Mia out of the vehicle and he was holding on to the open door, puking his guts out. Both Jade and Eva had told me that he couldn’t handle the sight of blood. It was the most bizarre thing I’d ever heard for a man in his profession.

Just then the screaming sirens of the ambulance filled the air. I was still half-deaf from the sound of the last bullet that was fired but I’d never been happier to hear that sound.

I
t was close to midnight. Ryder had just returned from the hospital with his arm in a sling and snuck into our room quietly so as not to disturb me, but I woke from a fitful sleep the moment he turned the door handle and stepped inside. The squeaky door that had irritated me all day had become my ally.

I’d cried myself to sleep after Harrison had come into the compound to find me. He told me the full story of what had happened to everyone and that Ryder needed medical attention. He scolded me for not listening and staying in my room with Lexi and then hugged me to his chest and soothed my fears away.

Of course I’d freaked out even though my brother had tried to calm me. I cried on his shoulder for at least half an hour before I settled down.

Before Ryder even reached the bed, I bolted upright and turned on the light on the nightstand. I leapt out of bed and in spite of my worries and anger and anguish, I rushed to greet him.

I clung to him as if I’d never let him go, kissing his face and neck, smothering him with love while tears of joy and relief streamed down my cheeks.

I didn’t think I’d ever been as happy to see him.

“Oh my God, you scared me. I was worried sick that you’d be shot too. And you were. You could’ve been
dead
. You can never do something like that again. Promise me?” I breathed.

All the time I was pouring out my guts, Ryder had his one arm around me, pulling me tight to his chest, his face buried in my neck. A deep guttural moan escaped his lips before he uttered my name as he kissed my jaw and then shut me up with an all-consuming and breathtaking kiss.

For a long moment the world stopped spinning and it was just the two of us, desperate to feel and touch and consume one another now that we were together again.

This man could rob me of my senses and make me forget everything I wanted to say with just one passionate kiss. But he had to hear my rant. He wasn’t going to still the hours of insecurity and vulnerability with a kiss, no matter how badly I wanted it to last forever.

No, I had to have this talk with him, get the words out that burned inside me like a raging furnace.

I let go of him and before he could stop me, I’d pulled away and taken a step back. I stood with my hands on my hips, facing Ryder. He tilted his head and stared at me, as if he didn’t understand what was going on.

The words that had been going around and around and around in my head for hours poured out of me like an unstoppable avalanche.

“You can’t try to be a hero now that you’re going to be a father. You just
can’t
. The babies, they need you . . . we need you.” I poked a finger into his chest. “Fuck Ryder,
I need you
. Don’t you get it?” I said in a shaky voice. “I can’t do this thing called life without you. I just can’t.”

His jaw tightened. Maybe he was so pale from the loss of blood. A part of me wanted to just hold him again and stroke his brow and tell him everything was fine.

He looked so tired and worn out and I was probably overreacting, but I didn’t care. The adrenalin that had coursed through my body needed an outlet and I let it all loose, ranting like a crazed woman. I didn’t know if I wanted to hit him or kiss him again, so great was my relief that he was okay.

Alive.

Loving someone as much as I loved Ryder scared the shit out of me, because if I lost him—

I can’t bear the thought.

He’d promised me he’d stop taking on dangerous assignments, and I’d been lulled into a false sense of security since we’d moved to Malibu. We’d hardly been at the compound for twenty-four hours and already things were going to shit.

“Princess, calm the fuck down.” He grabbed hold of my wrist with his free hand and pulled me closer. “Look. I’m alive.” His eyes softened as he held my gaze. “No need to be afraid any more. Everything is going to be okay, baby.”

My whole body trembled as I stood against him, my knees weak and my heart racing. I shook my head. “No, that’s what you always say, and I can’t take it anymore. It’s got to stop, Ryder. I want you to promise me it’s not going to happen again.”

His back stiffened. “I get that you’re upset, but my brothers need me too. The Scorpio Stingers, and particularly Cobra and Mia, have been my family since I was a kid. I can’t walk away now; I can’t desert them when they need me. I have to do what is right, Jade.”

“I can’t believe you just said that. I can’t believe you choose them over me and our twins.” All the blood drained from my face.

Ryder shook his head, a deep frown marring his brow. “It’s not like that. It’s not a matter of choosing between my biker family and you and our family. What I want is the best for everyone. But right now, my job as VP of this club is to step up, to take over and run this place for as long as I need to. It’s an oath I took, a vow to my brothers, sealed with blood.” He sighed. “I don’t expect you to understand, but I would like your support. I want to know that you back me on this. That you will be by my side while we go through this together.”

All my senses reeled. I pulled my hand free from Ryder’s and took a step back, away from him. I just couldn’t deal with this, as much as I tried to understand his point of view. “You know I love you. You know I will support you in every way I possibly can. But what you’re asking me . . . asking me to turn a blind eye while you risk your life . . . I don’t know if I can do it. I can’t watch knowing that your life may be taken away at any moment just because of the loyalty you have to this club.”

Ryder gave me a wry smile, but it didn’t reach his eyes. His voice was low and sad. “If you’d been through the kind of childhood that I have you might understand better, so I don’t blame you for feeling the way you do. But when I had nobody, when Marianne left me and Maxwell, and when I was thrown into that juvie hellhole falsely for killing Tiny, it was the Malone family who took me in.” Ryder rubbed the back of his neck. “They saved my life. If it weren’t for them, I would probably be dead by now. I owe them my life, Jade. I’ll do whatever it takes to repay the debt I still owe.” He turned his back to me and went to stand by the window, staring out into the darkness.

My whole body went cold from the inside out. Icicles formed around my heart. “No, no you don’t. I don’t think Cobra or anyone else would expect you to risk your life when you have your own responsibilities to your new family. And I’m sure that you have repaid that debt over and over to the Malone family. When are you going to let it go and realize that there is more to your life now than the club?”

Ryder turned to face me. “How do you ever repay a debt like that? What is enough? I have no idea. All I know is that right now, the club and the boys need me. It’s not that I don’t care about you, because fuck me, you are the most important thing in my life. You are what makes everything worth living for—worth fighting for, baby.”

“Really? You want me to believe that? Then show me. Let’s go back to our old life, the one we had only a day ago. I want to go back to the real world, not be locked up here waiting, worrying, fearing for the worst. That’s not the life I want. That’s not what I signed up for.”

A small, sad smile twisted Ryder’s lips. “Life isn’t always black and white—there’s a fuck-load of shades of gray in between. Some shades are so dark that we only whisper about them, and other shades so light they bring us joy and some reprieve from our heavy load in this fucked up world.”

“I know that. The gray is the hardest part of life.”

Ryder closed the gap between us, his breath hard and heavy as his eyes pleaded with me. “You are the light, Jade. But for us to be able to see the bright side, we must also know the dark. Be my light, baby, my comfort and solace. I need you now more than ever before.”

He hypnotized me with his words, and I wanted to believe him so fucking badly. I wanted to be all he ever needed. But it wasn’t that simple. I had to be true to myself. Honest, even if it was brutal.

“I don’t know if I can do this, Ryder. I don’t fit into this world. I don’t want to exist in fear, wondering when someone is going to come for you. It’s not the way I want to live my life, or the future I want for my children.”

Ryder sank into a chair. He looked exhausted and drained, and I hated that we weren’t on the same page at a time like this. My heart went out to him, but I couldn’t back down because this was important to me. I had to be strong for the sake of our survival.

“Do you think that’s what I want? Then you’ve got it all wrong.” He paused for a beat. “I want the best life for you, for our kids, and for us, baby. I will do anything in my power to make that happen. I want you to always remember that.”

Words were one thing, actions another. He needed to show me how much he meant it, not just tell me. He had to get out of the club and start a new life free from everything that being part of a motorcycle club entailed.

“Well how are we going to solve this? I hate being here, because every time I’ve stayed at the compound bad things have happened. You feel as if you need to be in this terrible place. There’s no easy solution.” I went to where Ryder sat and kneeled by his feet, taking his hand in mine and kissing it. 

He leaned forward in the chair and holding my chin between his fingers, he lifted my face to his and held my gaze. “Can we try to do this for a few more days until I’ve figured things out? I get what you want me to do, but I can’t just walk out of here right now. I’m so fucking drained that I can’t think straight. Please, princess, give me time. Let’s sleep on it and talk more in the morning. I just want to hold you in my arms and get some rest. You need it too.”

I swallowed hard and nodded. I couldn’t deny his request and we both needed sleep.

“I’ll give it a try, but only because you asked me to.”

Ryder’s face brightened. He cupped my jaw with his whole hand, his thumb stroking my cheek. “It means a lot to me. I need you by my side, Princess. Without you I am only half a man. We can do this together.”

He really didn’t get it. I scrunched up my nose. “I’m only giving you a few days to sort stuff out. But then we leave because this life is
not
normal—it’s fucking crazy.
It’s dangerous
. And you never know when someone is coming for you. I don’t understand how you can live like this.”

Ryder’s back stiffened. “To me this is normal. Your life . . . the way you live is crazy to me. But I try to fit into your world; I try to adjust only because I want to make you happy.”

My heart squeezed. “What are you saying, Ryder? Does that mean that you’re not happy when you’re not here?”

“What I’m saying is that my home is wherever
you
are. It’s not one specific place. You, Jade, hold my life and my happiness in your hands.”

I shook my head. “If that were really true you wouldn’t ask me to stay here. You’d come with me back to the real world where we could be happy and safe.”

“Ahhh . . . if only things were that simple.”

“I don’t see anything wrong with simple. Simple is good, simple is safe—simple means we get to grow old together.”