Road to Reason (11 page)

Ryan slowly lifted his head, but didn’t drop his hands, only turned to place his arm around Kaitlin’s waist, pulling her close while she watched her brothers Ben and Alec make their way across the lawn toward them. Ben, who had spoken the words, was frowning the entire way.

Kaitlin, none too happy with her brother, glared back.  The minute Ben stopped in front of them she hauled off and punched him in the arm full force, to everyone’s shock.

She never lost her temper. And if she did, it was never in front of anyone.  Somehow she just saw red when Ben made that comment and couldn’t control herself. 

That last thing she wanted or needed was her brothers running interference in her love life.  She thought she made them understand that this past week when she told them about Ryan.

“Ouch,” Ben said, rubbing his arm, though everyone knew it didn’t hurt in the least. Unfortunately, Kaitlin was shaking her hand out, because it hurt like hell when her knuckles connected with his bicep.  “What was that for?” Ben asked.

“You know what,” she said, scowling at him. “We talked about this, Ben.” She pinned him with the glare he hated so much.

Ben Harper, ex-Navy SEAL and security expert, had never backed down from a fight in his life.  Or any danger. Yet, all six foot two, two hundred and twenty pounds of him started to squirm.

Only two people on this earth could make him feel that way, his mother and his baby sister. But he wasn’t ready to throw in the towel, though, Kaitlin knew.

A stare that had most men running in the opposite direction was being sent Ryan’s way, which only made Ryan stand his ground even more. Kaitlin was impressed.

The two men held their positions for what seemed like minutes, but in actuality was only seconds. Ben finally dropped his glare first, only to say, “Don’t make me hate you.”

“I could say the same,” Ryan replied, then watched Ben stalk away muttering that he needed a beer. He picked up Kaitlin’s hand to rub her sore knuckles and turned to Alec. “Go ahead. Get it off your chest. I know I’m up against a united front here.”

Kaitlin started to speak, but Ryan interrupted her. “No, let him say what he wants.”

Alec had been observing the scene with interest between Ryan and Ben. Kaitlin knew that Ryan earned points in Alec’s eyes for standing his ground against Ben. “Why didn’t I hear it from you directly? And what took so long before I was told?”  Alec asked Ryan.

That was most likely what bothered Alec more than he cared to admit, that Ryan hadn’t told him personally. They were friends. Good friends, and friends didn’t keep secrets like that.

Ryan looked at Kaitlin for a minute, then back to Alec. “It was your sister’s decision.  I respected her wishes,” he replied simply.

Ryan watched Alec looking at Kaitlin, obviously comfortable in Ryan’s arms, her body relaxed and leaning against him, and waited for his response.  In the end Alec just nodded, shook Ryan’s hand and said, “Good luck. You might need it with her.”

“Hey,” Kaitlin said indignantly.  But Alec was already walking away to join Ben at the coolers.

Ryan breathed a mock sigh of relief. “Well, that wasn’t so bad,” he said to Kaitlin when she noticed Jack, Mac and Lucas standing outside having witnessed the entire exchange with two of her brothers.  United front, he had his own, she realized.

Jack walked forward and picked up Kaitlin’s hand to exam it. She didn’t think it was than more than bruised, but she had hit Ben full force.  “I’m glad you came to terms with her brothers,” Jack told Ryan while he examined Kaitlin’s knuckles. “Because even though I might be the biggest man here, I don’t think all of us combined could take down Ben Harper.”

Kaitlin snatched her hand back, rolled eyes and walked into the house to the sound of Ryan and the guys laughing behind her.

***

The party seemed to go on without a hitch after that.  When Kaitlin’s parents arrived, much to her relief, they treated Ryan no differently than they did when he was a teenager running wild through their house. 

She wasn’t worried about Phil. He was the calmest and most laid back of her siblings. But she was a bit shocked by the disdain she received from Linda.

She never cared much for Linda, but they’d always gotten along. Kaitlin tried to keep everything peaceful, if for no other reason than for her brother. 

Yet Linda had a pained look on her face from the moment she arrived.  Even so much as turning up her nose and making a nasty comment on how a grown woman shouldn’t be wearing pigtails out in public after she was introduced to Ryan’s friends and family.  It was almost like she couldn’t be bothered to attend today.

Phil seemed just as unhappy at times when he glanced over at Linda.  Kaitlin wished she knew what was going on between them.  But she was afraid to ask. Maybe she would talk with Alec later on.  As Phil’s twin, he would be the only one privy, and even then she wasn’t positive anyone knew what was going on.

For now, though, she wanted to get her hands on one of the babies, and since she didn’t really know Mac and Beth well enough, she went after Lucas who was holding his son. Michael was currently looking around the yard in fascination of all the activity. “Can I hold him?” she asked.

“Of course.” Lucas transferred his son to Kaitlin’s arms.

She wanted a baby so bad.  No one really knew how badly. She’d always kept that to herself.  But she felt her biological clock ticking. 

Michael was so cute.  His light blonde hair and blue eyes made him look like a miniature version of his father.  And Ryan.  She wondered if this was what a child of Ryan’s would look like.

Then stopped herself from thinking those thoughts.  Ryan wasn’t the type to settle down. They were just having fun. He was only helping her out with her little problem. She had to keep reminding herself that, except it was getting harder.

Who knew where their relationship would stand after tonight?  All she knew was she would be one step closer to reaching her goal, to finding a man and starting a family. Just not a family with Ryan.

***

Ryan turned and looked at Kaitlin holding his nephew.  His heart started to thump and a surge of heat rushed through his veins.

She looked good with a baby in her arms.  And that scared the crap out of him. He knew she wanted a family, and he wasn’t sure where he stood in terms of fatherhood.  Not at all.   He was still trying to get a grasp on what the two of them had.

All he knew was he wasn’t ready to let her go either. He knew their time was coming. He would be solving her little problem very soon. 

Only she wasn’t going anywhere afterward. Not until he knew how he felt.  Right now he had no clue, nothing other than it was different than anything he had ever experienced before, but he wasn’t going to analyze it either.

When Michael reached forward and grabbed a fist full of Kaitlin’s hair, she giggled, and his face softened.  Smiling, he took in the sight. If it made his heart pound harder, he didn’t notice. Or didn’t care.

***

Ben had been watching Ryan for the last few minutes.  Actually he had been watching Ryan all day with his sister.  The two of them seemed to be enjoying each other. 

He was worried about Kaitlin, though. She gave an air of indifference, but she couldn’t hide her body’s reactions either. He knew enough about body language, and right now Kaitlin’s gave off every indication of someone who was getting in over her head. 

Ryan on the other hand—Ben wasn’t sure where Ryan stood.  But at the moment when he saw Ryan’s face soften while he watched Kaitlin with the baby, Ben started to feel his first signs of dread. 

He wasn’t ready to see his baby sister with anyone. Least of all with Ryan.  He would have to keep a closer eye on things. 

Unfortunately, hours later Ben realized that it might be too late for Kaitlin, even if she didn’t realize it herself.

As dusk began to fall, Ryan said he had a surprise for Lucas and Brooke. Not everyone at the party was aware, but it was also Brooke and Lucas’s one-year wedding anniversary. The party wasn’t in their honor; it just happened to fall on the same day.

With Jack’s help, Ryan brought a cooler up from his boat and lifted a large cake out and placed it onto the picnic table.  On the top was an edible picture of the bride and groom holding hands, looking at each other with love in their eyes while they exchanged their vows. 

Around the picture were beautiful intricate sugared flowers that had an amazed Brooke’s eyes watering. “They look just like the flowers in my wedding bouquet.”

Lucas seemed touched by Ryan’s gesture.  “Where did you get the cake? Wow, they did a wonderful job,” he said, pulling Brooke close.

Before Ryan could answer, Ben did. “Katie made it.”

All heads turned to look at Ben when he proudly made the statement. He only saw Kaitlin blush.

She hadn’t wanted anyone to know she did it, he knew. It had always been her little secret.   She had always been embarrassed by her skill with baking and decorating, something she loved to do as a kid, but it had resulted in her chubbiness.

Her brothers knew she loved to bake, but only Ben had seen her decorating skills, as it was something she picked up after Alec and Phil had gone away to college. 

But he had never seen her produce anything like this before. She looked shocked that he had realized she did it. And even more alarmed that he told everyone.

Ben didn’t care about the announcement he made. He was more worried that not only did Kaitlin share something with Ryan that no one else in the family was aware of beside him, but also that Ryan was willing to keep it a secret. Because he had seen Ryan’s eyes. Ryan was about to cover for her.

Shortly after the cake was cut and shared, congratulations spoken, and toasts offered, the sky turned an ominous shade of gray. 

Rain had been threatening all day but thankfully had stayed away, until now.  Everyone helped move the remaining food and drink either under shelter or into the house where the party would continue for the time being. 

Those with children took the opportunity to pack up and leave. Kaitlin noticed her brother Phil and Linda had left over an hour earlier.  She really wished he had stayed. He seemed to be having a good time with everyone. She hadn’t seen him that relaxed in a long time, at least while Linda was out of range.

“I need to get the boat back to the house. We don’t want to be caught up in this when it starts,” Ryan said, looking up at the threatening clouds overhead. “I’ll drive back with the car so that we can stay longer.”

She looked around, saw that her brothers Alec and Ben remained and they seemed to be making their rounds and saying their good-byes, too. Leaving only both of their parents and several of their parents’ friends and neighbors left.  “We can leave now if you want. Or we can stay longer,” she rushed out.  Maybe he did want to stay longer and visit with his parents.  The night was still young, barely eight o’clock.

“No, we can go if you want. But we need to hurry. Let’s go say our good-byes, then.”

Ten minutes later Ryan was backing the boat away from the dock and flying back across the lake in a hurry.  Being on the lake at night wasn’t always safe, but there was still enough light out to see clearly. The bigger danger was being on the lake in the middle of a storm. 

Thankfully Kaitlin felt confident that Ryan knew this lake like the back of his hand, which was all the more reason he hurried to get home. A storm could blow up fast and furious out of nowhere. 

As much as Kaitlin would have loved to be behind the wheel of the boat, she was glad she wasn’t right now. Maybe she could convince him to let her take his boat out another day. It had been way too long since she had driven any watercrafts on the lake. It was bringing back fond memories of her childhood.

They were just securing the lines at his dock when they felt the first drops start to fall.  Kaitlin took her shoes off, put them in her bag, threw it over her shoulder and made a dash for the house right when the sky opened up, completely drenching them. 

Ryan laughed at her expression when she tried to wipe the water off her arms where they stood under the deck while she waited for him to unlock the door to the ground-level entrance. 

“Wait here, I’ll grab a couple of towels,” he said, then walked into what Kaitlin thought might be a bathroom on the ground-level of his home.

She took her time looking around. He hadn’t had time to give her a tour of his house earlier when she arrived.   She had been so caught up with her baking and decorating, she’d completely lost track of time and arrived later than she planned, not leaving them much time to get to Ryan’s parents’ and hide the cake.  Luckily, she thought to store it in the cooler for the trip.

The ground level of the house was exactly his style.  A large family room with a stone fireplace against one wall, the room furnished with black leather pieces.  A massive bar lined the back wall, with a small galley kitchen off to the side complimenting it. This was definitely a man’s entertainment room.

She watched Ryan walk back out of a door on the opposite side of the family room, towel drying his hair. Another towel was hanging over his shoulder.

“Here you go,” he said handing over the plush white towel.  “You look like a drowned rat right now.”  Her frown made him to chuckle. “Sorry, I couldn’t resist.” He tugged playfully on a piece of her wet hair. “Let me show you around while you dry off.” 

He opened another door at the back of the family room that boasted a specular home gym.  “That’s great. I hope to have a home gym someday, but not in the townhouse. It’s too small. When I get a house someday—after I figure out where I want to live,” she said with a chuckle.

“You don’t want to stay in Albany?”

“No, it’s nothing like Manhattan, thankfully.  But I’m sick of city living. I think I want someplace quiet again, just not sure where. For now it’s conveniently close to work.”

“Convenient…so you can practice driving again with such a small commute?” he said, smothering his laugh.  When she scowled at him, he changed the subject. “Where do you work out now?”

“I have a gym membership and try to go early in the morning before work when the crowd is lighter. Now that the weather is nicer, I walk outside. Plus I do yoga or Pilates in the house.”

“Yoga, huh? Hmm,” he said with a smile that set her heart racing. He must have noticed her flush. Clearing his throat, he looked away. “Well, you can use my gym anytime you want. Of course that means you have to drive close to forty-five minutes for it.  And speaking of that, let me show you the rest of the house before it gets too late.”

She wrapped the now damp towel around her neck, holding both ends in front of her chest, then turned to look at him with a smirk. “Too late for what? I’m staying tonight.”

***

His eyes lit up. Thank God. He didn’t think he could wait much longer. It had been killing him.  Today went as well as he could have expected, better if the truth were known.  “In that case, the full tour can wait until tomorrow.  We can start with my bedroom right now.”

He grabbed her hand and pulled her up the stairs, bypassing the entire main living area, then up another set of stairs and straight to his room.

Shutting the door behind them, he walked over and picked up the remote on the bedside table, then pressed the switch.  Soft lighting glowed from a small lamp in a seating area near the window overlooking the lake.  Turning, he pulled her into his arms, his mouth hovering over hers.  “Are you sure?” He really didn’t want to ask—was afraid she might say no—but felt it was the right thing to do.

“I’ve been sure for a month now. Don’t make me wait any longer,” she said, grabbing his head and pulling him down for a kiss. He lifted her in his arms and carried her to the bed while she continued to cling to him desperately.  

“Sweetheart, you need to let go of me so I can lay you down.” He tried to chuckle, but it sounded forced even to his own ears.  He wanted to go slow, needed to make this perfect for her.

“Don’t you dare stop,” she said in a warning, then unwound her arms from behind his neck.

“I don’t plan on it. Unless you ask me to,” he said, tilting his head.

“I won’t be asking you to stop. You can count on that. Matter of fact I would appreciate if you got on with it.”

“No rushing,” he told her.  “My way.  It will be better. Trust me, OK?”

She reached her hand up and laid it on his whiskered cheek.  “I trust you,” she said softly.

He lowered his head to hers and kissed her once more. “I’m glad.” Then he laid her on the bed, covering her with his own body, keeping his weight on his forearms.

He cupped her face in his hands, deepening the kiss.  When he felt her hips automatically rise up to his he knew he was in trouble.   Her hands went to his lower back, then under his shirt, touching him, her nails lightly scratching in her urgency. When she started to tug it up, he reminded her, “No rushing. Not yet.”

“I need to touch you,” she said with a gasp.

“You will, but not yet.” He knew if he took any of his clothes off he would be done. It would have to be the very last thing he did. He would start with her dress first, though. 

He reached behind her neck and untied the straps of her halter-top, then lifted her hips with his hands until he found the small zipper on her back and drew it down.  He pulled her dress down her body, leaving her only in a nude-colored strapless bra with white lace trim and matching panties. 

He couldn’t wait to get his hands on her breasts again, had been having dreams about it. Not only was he going to be touching them tonight, but he would be seeing them, too, for the first time. Up close and personal.

He pressed his lips to her collarbone, lightly sucking, moving his tongue up her neck, tasting her, savoring the flavor of her skin that was only Kaitlin.

He felt her shiver, then whispered in her ear, “Arch up. I need to see you, all of you.”

She lifted her back, pressing those lush curves into his chest. He held her tight a moment, delighting in her body against his, then quickly unfastened her bra and discarded it.  He leaned back and looked his fill.  She was beautiful. Exactly what pinups were made of—soft, round and just begging for his touch. 

He couldn’t wait a second longer to touch her. First with his hands, cupping and squeezing her, lifting her up, pressing them together, watching her body’s reaction to him.

Next, he had to taste her. Lowering his head he took one tight nipple in his mouth, drew her in, until she arched up even higher against him.  He released her and moved his mouth to the other breast repeating the same. 

She was killing him, her nails digging into his shoulders, her hips against his, along with all the little noises escaping her mouth. “Tell me what you like,” he said hoarsely.

“Everything,” she said, slightly out of breath.  “Don’t stop.”

“Oh, I won’t. Don’t you worry.”

He cupped her breasts again and began to taste some more; he could spend hours here alone.

Testing her, he bit down, teetering just on the edge of too much, heard the growl low in her throat, and felt a lightning bolt of heat course through his body. 

He was ready to burst and that wasn’t good.  Not for him and definitely not for her.

Releasing her nipple, he made his way down her trim waist, promising himself he would spend more time there later, but he had another target in mind.  Resting his hands on the top of her panties, he dipped his tongue under the lace edging, teasing her, licking her lightly, then raised his eyes to watch her reaction.

Her responses were an aphrodisiac in itself, the urgency chasing him down like a hungry wolf.  Her eyes were closed, her face tense, her nails digging into the bedspread now.  He heard his own rapid breathing, felt his heart race and forced himself to move on.

Gripping the tops of her panties, he pulled them down her legs.  She was even more beautiful than he imagined.  He raised his eyes again and watched for her reaction while he spread her legs and rested between them in anticipation.  Any sign she wanted him to stop, he would, even if it killed him.

But there was nothing, just her eyes remaining closed and her breath coming out in short pants, causing her breasts to rise and fall. 

He massaged her inner thighs, slowly moving his thumbs closer and closer to the heat of her.  Her head was thrashing around on the pillow now, her hips rising. That was all the permission he needed.

Lowering his mouth, he touched her, tasted her with the tip of his tongue, sending moans out her mouth. He stayed there, showing her what it was like to be loved, and prayed that he could get her prepared enough for what was to come. 

With one finger, he slid inside of her. So tight—it was going to feel so good when he finally made her his. Not yet; she wasn’t ready enough. He didn’t want to hurt her, no more than necessary.  And even that was going to bother him.

He settled his mouth completely over her and began to suck, moving his finger in and out. His shoulders were burning from where her nails started to dig in, and he couldn’t have cared less. All he cared about was her—pleasing her, making her feel good, making her want more of him.

“Oh my God, Ryan,” she cried out, lifting her hips closer to him.

Her muscles tightened around his finger, and he knew she was close. He applied more pressure with his mouth, continuing to slide his finger in and out at a steady rhythm until she let go, clapping down on him and sobbing out her release.  He didn’t let up until she was lying limp on the bed. 

He moved his mouth up her body, kissing her everywhere as he went. Covering his mouth over hers, letting her taste herself on his tongue, while he waited for her to start to feel that rise of pleasure again. 

Shifting, he brought his mouth back to her breasts. She seemed to enjoy that, so he gave them more attention. It was no hardship; he could spend days there alone tasting and touching, squeezing and kneading. He didn’t think he would ever get enough.

When he thought she was truly ready for him, he stopped and tried to climb off the bed. Only she grabbed him and pulled him back. “Don’t stop,” she demanded.

“I need to get undressed,” he said hoarsely. She seemed oblivious to the fact he was still fully clothed. But it was time now. He couldn’t wait any longer, even if he wanted to. 

He made quick work of his clothes and the condom, then climbed back on the bed. Back over her body, settling between her legs.

With his mouth spreading kisses along her neck and shoulder, he reached down and pushed her legs up a bit, only she resisted. “Bend your knees a bit,” he said softly.

Her breath was rasping out, she seemed to be in no more control than him.

“Try not to tense,” he whispered to her, while he positioned himself at her entrance. “Breathe in and out. Tell me if I’m hurting you. Tell me if you want me to stop.” He really hoped she didn’t tell him to stop, but he would immediately, if he had to.