Road to Redemption (8 page)

“In answer to your question, handsome. No, friends aren’t consumed with the need to fuck each other,” I snapped. “So maybe we can’t be friends after all.”

“Fuck me, Payton, what the hell do you want me to do?”

“I want you to stop kissing me every time you want to get your point across!”

“Damn it, woman!” He dragged his hands down his face. “You make me fuckin’ crazy, you know that?”

I threw my hands up. “Bite me!”

His gaze swept my body from tip to toe and I shivered.

“Not literally,” I rushed to say.

“Fuckin’ shame, baby. I’d make it good for you.”

“I hate you so much right now.”

He sighed and his face softened. “I’m just askin’ you to talk it out with me, Payton. Can you do that?”

“Honestly, Alex? I don’t know. You’re not what I expected. You’re sure as hell nothing like anyone I’ve ever met, so I’m kind of lost as to what to do.”

He smiled gently and held his hand out to me. “Break it down for me.”

I took his hand and he led me back to the chairs. I sat in the one I’d been in before, and he did the same. I couldn’t help looking over my shoulder and staring out at the view of the water. It was so incredibly calming and I needed that right now. “Relationships have always been easy for me,” I admitted. “In the past, I’ve been friends with someone for a while, then we’d go on a few dates and decide if there was something to develop. If there was, we’d see each other for a period of time exclusively, then if we fell in love, we’d take it to the next level.” I focused on Alex again. “There has never been drama. Ever. Even when the relationships didn’t work out, we’d separate amicably and go on with our lives.”

“Sounds pretty fuckin’ borin’, baby.”

“Well, it wasn’t. It was great,” I countered. “I always knew where I stood, always understood where we were going. No guessing.”

“Because it was all on your terms.”

“It was not!”

“Babe, it was,” he said. “Sounds like you dated a shit ton of pussies, none of them willing to fight for you or make you feel anything real. They let you run everything… afraid to disappoint the great Payton Williams.”

I rolled my eyes. “You have no idea what you’re talking about.”

A Macey sounding giggle came from the hallway and I shot out of my seat to find my best friend with her hand over her mouth, standing about a foot from the open door.

“Eavesdropping now, Mase?” I snapped. “Nice.”

“I was coming to find out if you still wanted to come with us or if we should go without you. I didn’t mean to catch that last bit of the conversation,” she said, and then raised her voice and added, “Even if he is totally right.”

“He is
not
right! And, yes, I’m coming with you.”

“Okay, well we need to get going.”

I nodded. “Let’s go.”

“Give us a minute, babe,” Alex said to Macey from right behind me. Again, I hadn’t heard him move.

“Do you float?” I snapped.

“I’ll give you a minute,” Macey said, and walked away.

“I have to go,” I said, and faced Alex.

He closed the bedroom door and stroked my cheek. “One minute.”

I let out a frustrated sigh. “Fifty-eight seconds, handsome. Make ’em count.”

“No one conspired against you, Payton. When I was at the club earlier, Booker did say Dani was joining you, but it was after you and I spoke and you said you were busy. He didn’t say anything about Kim or driving them.” He smiled. “I just wanted to see you, baby, and, yeah, I want to know you were safe. If I’m driving, then I can guarantee it.”

I bit my lip. “You really didn’t plan it?”

“Can’t speak for the others, but no, I really didn’t plan it.”

I melted. “I still hate you.”

He chuckled and ran his nose against mine. “No you don’t.”

“Yes I do,” I whispered.

He kissed me gently. “No you don’t.”

I licked my lips. “Um, yeah, I do.”

He grinned and kissed me again. “Um, no, you don’t.”

I wrinkled my nose, mostly because I didn’t want to smile.

“I can keep doing this,” he said.

“I bet you can.”

Alex chuckled. “Forgive me?”

“For which part?” I retorted.

“All of it, baby. That way I’m covered.”

I rolled my eyes. “I guess I should probably apologize too.”

“What for? You’re perfect, Payton.”

“I never said I was perfect,” I snapped.

“Don’t get mad, baby.” He smiled again. “I’m just fuckin’ with ya. Don’t get your panties in a wad.”

“Don’t tell me not to get my panties in a wad, then.”

He raised an eyebrow. “We’ll work on your sense of humor.”

“Bite… never mind.”

Alex laughed and I couldn’t help but smile.

“We friends?” he asked, and I punched his arm. “Shit, baby, that fuckin’ hurt.”

“Yeah, well, my brother taught me how to hit,” I said smugly, but when I saw him rubbing his arm, I felt bad. “I didn’t really hurt you, did I?” When he gave me an irritating smirk, I wanted to hit him again. “I’m back to hating you.”

At that, he dropped his head back and let out a roar of a laugh. “Fuck me, baby, you’re gorgeous.”

“I’m going now,” I said in a sing-songy voice, and pulled open the door.

Before I could step into the hallway, I was dragged up against Alex and kissed senseless. How was it possible kissing him just got better and better?

“Payton,” Macey called, although, she was sounding a little less patient than before.

I pushed against Alex and he broke the kiss. “You’re killing me,” I complained.

“Told you I’d wear you down, baby.”

“Come on,” I said, and headed back to the living room. “Dallas and Brock left already?”

“Honey, you’ve been in there for like an hour,” Macey said.

“Bite me, Mase.” I heard Alex clear his throat behind me, but I didn’t react. My body did though, and I had to take a few deep breaths to calm myself. “We ready?” I asked.

At the murmurs of assent, we locked up the apartment and headed to Mississippi Studios.

“
A
M I REALLY a control freak?” I asked Macey as we watched the rest of the group dancing on the floor a few feet in front of us.

She turned away from the dance floor and focused on me. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

I narrowed my eyes. “Mase.”

“Okay. Let’s just say, you’re a bit of a hyper-administrative enthusiast, like me.”

“I think I prefer ‘outcome enthusiast.’”

Macey laughed. “Ohmigod, that’s good.”

“You really shouldn’t be surprised by my brilliance.” I shook my head. “But, be serious for a second.”

“You’re thinking about what Hawk said?”

I nodded.

“Okay.” Macey sighed. “You know how people pretend to be afraid of me?”

“No one pretends, Mase.”

Macey giggled. “For the sake of argument, let’s say they do pretend.”

“Okay.”

“Well, although people aren’t typically afraid of you, they
do
want to live up to you.”

I wrinkled my nose. “What?”

“You’re an ideal, honey. People are drawn to you because you’re beautiful and confident, and then they find out you have a wicked sense of humor and are sweet on top of that, and they can’t help but want to be near you. But you expect the highest and best out of people and when they don’t perform, you tend to back away a little.”

My stomach churned a bit. “Why am
I
an ideal?”

“This is where I find you totally fascinating.” Macey grinned. “On the outside, you appear to be perfect—” I opened my mouth to object, but she held up her hand. “I know, I know, you’re not perfect. Just listen.” I rolled my eyes, but I did close my mouth again. “Your family is amazing, you’re amazing, even your pets have all been amazing.”

I giggled. We’d owned two dogs throughout our lives, a Boxer and a black lab. Our Boxer died when I was about ten and our lab had died about three years ago. My parents couldn’t bear to get another one, especially since us kids were all out of the house, so we were currently petless… unless you counted the stupid cat that showed up on the door and refused to leave. Probably because Mom fed it every day. But Macey was right. Our dogs had rocked. We’d taught them tricks, they never had to be leashed because we all worked with them, so yeah, they were pretty amazing.

“Your parents adore each other and have been married
forever
, you’re actually
close
to your siblings, and you’re all smart, educated, and other than you… although, that will happen, I know it… have married their soul mates. What isn’t attractive about that?”

“But?” I said.

“
But
, and I say this not because there’s anything wrong with you, just an observation.”

“Yeah, yeah. Get to it, Mase.”

“You have dated a
lot
of guys, honey. And other than Brendon and Curt, they’ve never lasted more than two or three months.”

“Well, that’s because I loved Bren and Curt.”

“I know. I get it. But once you slept with them, you kind of went off them.”

“What?” I gasped. “I did not.”

“You waited to sleep with Curt for, what… nine months?”

I nodded.

“And your relationship lasted one year and two days, right?”

“Yes,” I grumbled.

“And with Brendon you ultimately waited a year, honey. That’s a long time for a guy to wait for something, especially when you’d already given him a little taste.”

“Well, I needed to know if I loved him.”

Macey squeezed my arm. “I’m not judging, honey. Just laying out the facts. You and Brendon lasted about two years, but in the end, you just weren’t ‘all that into him.’ That man moved mountains to make you happy, which I personally think was part of the problem.”

“What do you mean?”

“He got so wrapped up in everything Payton, he lost himself in the process. And that’s on him, by the way, not you.”

“So you’re saying I’m kind of a bitch?”

“
No!
” she rushed to say. “Not at all. Neither of them fought for you. When you dumped them, they just went away, even though I know for a fact they were devastated. But if they loved you as much as they claimed, why wouldn’t they fight? In the end, I just don’t think either of those guys were your soul mate.”

“And?”

“And I think Hawk might be.”

“Shut up!”

Macey smiled. “He’s known you for what, a week?”

“Yes.”

“And he’s figured you out, but not only that, he challenges you, which scares you.”

“No, he terrifies me,” I admitted.

“I know how you feel, honey. It was the same with me and Dallas. It’s frightening when someone knows you so well, they can ruin you.”

I chuckled. “Dallas would never ruin you.”

“I know, but we’ve known each other for a really long time… it’s far scarier when someone figures you out after a week. You don’t know Hawk well enough yet to know if you can trust him.”

“I can trust him,” I said. I knew that I could, without a doubt.

Macey grinned.

“Oh, shut up,” I grumbled.

“Just go with it,” she said. “What’s the worst that could happen?”

“I can think of a lot of things.”

“If your heart gets broken, honey, you have a shit ton of people to put it back together. And if it doesn’t and you find the love of your life, then you’ve gained everything.”

She had a point.

“Ladies.”

I glanced up to see two men standing at our table. One blond, one dark-haired, both bearded and very Portland hipster.

“Would either of you like to dance?” the blond one asked.

“No thanks,” Macey said, and flashed her wedding finger.

“It’s just a dance,” he argued.

“No.”

“What about you?” he asked me.

“Not much of a dancer, but thanks anyway.”

“Come on,” the dark-haired man slurred. “One dance.”

Macey leveled both of them with a stare. “You sound drunk to me, and even if you weren’t, I don’t dance with anyone other than my husband, so I’d highly suggest you just walk away.”

The blond one scowled, but they did in fact walk away, and Macey and I went back to watching the other girls still out on the dance floor.

“I wish I liked to dance,” I admitted.

Macey giggled. “Me too.”

“I have to pee. I’ll be right back,” I said, and pushed my chair away.

“You need me to come with?”

“No, I’m good. Just watch the table and my purse.”

Macey nodded and I headed for the ladies room. I was washing my hands when the bathroom door opened and I glanced in the mirror to find dark-haired hipster guy stepping inside.

I grabbed towels from the dispenser. “You got the ladies’, buddy. Guys’ is next door.”

He closed the door and locked it. “I know what I got.”

I faced him after throwing the paper towels into the garbage can. “Are you serious right now?”

On one hand, I’d had very little to drink, was pretty damn good at defending myself, and fought dirty. My brother taught me a lot. On the other, I was wearing four-inch heels, a little black dress, and my purse with my pepper spray was back at the table with Macey.

This made me annoyed more than nervous, so I crossed my arms and leaned against the sink. “What’s your plan, big guy?”

“I’m gonna get what I didn’t get earlier,” he slurred.

“You want to dance,” I droned.

He sneered. “I did before, but now I want something different.”

The doorknob jiggled and then banging at the door had the guy a little startled. “Busy in here!” he bellowed.

“Payton?” Alex called.

I frowned. He wasn’t here… or at least, I didn’t think he was. I’d told him I’d text him when he could pick me up.

“Give me a sec,” I yelled back, and then focused on the drunk. “That’s my very protective boyfriend out there, so you have a choice to make. Either you head on out the door, or you’ll have to deal with me,
then
him.”

I realized fleetingly that I’d just referred to Alex as my boyfriend, but being a little busy at the present time, I decided to process that later.

Alex banged on the door again. “Payton, I’m gonna fuckin’ break down this door if you don’t open it.”

“I’m not really in a posi—”

I couldn’t get another word out as the guy lunged at me. I shifted, managing to shove him, but his elbow came up and whacked me in the cheek as he went down… and it
hurt
, damn it. Before I could make it to the door, it slammed open and Alex forced his way inside, Booker behind him. Alex came to me immediately and pulled my hand away from my cheek. His face contorted with rage. “What’d he do?”

“He hit me on his way to the ground,” I said, my eyes filling with tears from the pain.

“Okay, baby,” he said, and kissed my forehead. “I’ll take care of it.”

Booker had his knee on the jerk’s back and was shoving his head into the cold cement floor to keep him from moving. Drunk guy was squirming, but otherwise stuck where he was.

“Pay?” Macey peeked her head into the bathroom. “Ohmigod, what happened?”

“I’m okay,” I said.

“Go with Macey, baby,” Alex said, so I stepped around the man and into the hallway.

“Let me look,” Macey demanded and she felt around the cheekbone. “Sorry, honey,” she said when I grimaced. “I don’t think anything’s broken. Ice should help. I have an instant pack in my purse.”

“Of course you do.” I couldn’t help but smile. She was an amazing nurse and always carried a mini first-aid kit wherever she went. How she fit an icepack in her clutch, I have no idea. “Ow,” I breathed out. Smiling was apparently not the smart choice.