Robot Santa: The Further Adventures of Santa's Twin (3 page)

and to your parents-whatever each likes.

And you will come along to share the joy

as I bring gifts to every girl and boy.”

U
n-Slinky’d, with all jump ropes unwound,

Santa’s brother leaps up from the ground.

“Let’s hurry and undo all that I’ve done,

or this year Christmas won’t be much fun.”

A crowded sleigh-two Clauses, two girls-

rockets into the sky as the snow swirls.

“Good reindeer, I’m sorry for all I said.

I had the meanies, shoulda stayed in bed.”

So explains the previously twisted twin,

who’s better now than he’s recently been.

Lottie and Emmy are afraid that the crime

can’t be undone. There’s too little time.

But Santa can deliver in a single hour,

by stretching time with his magical power.

Flying like a comet, chased by the sun,

they sneak past every police radar gun.

The best trick of all: At any one time,

they can be in many places-oh, 9009.

How this is possible no one explains,

leaving the girls with headache pains.

A
t last all gifts have been given away,

and still night hasn’t turned into day.

They race the sun to the girls’ place,

where soon it’s time for them to face

Mom and Dad on the snowy front lawn.

Someone might be spanked before dawn.

Pouring out through the open front door

is popcorn. And from a few windows-more.

Popcorn has popped from the chimney too.

“Oh, what a terrible thing did I do?”

asks the once-bad Claus, who now behaves.

“Ten pounds of corn and some microwaves

“can do more damage than I ever thought.

Gee, I have to admit I was never taught

to be such a mischievous fat old elf.

I’m totally, thoroughly ashamed of myself.

Girls, I’ll see that you’re both thanked.

If anyone is,
I’ll
be the one spanked.”

Down to the front yard the reindeer fly.

Mom and Dad are waiting to be told why

their house has become a popcorn machine,

waking them from their Christmas dreams.

They stand in pajamas, robes, and slippers,

gazing up at their sleigh-flying nippers.

F
rom the sleigh into Mom and Dad’s arms,

both girls use their clever-child charms

to keep Santa’s brother from being paddled.

“Forgive him. He was temporarily addled.

But he helped put Christmas back on tack.

He’ll never again stuff Santa in a sack.”

Santa says, “I’m Santa and this is my twin.

His name is Bob. Will you let us come in

to clean up the mess, set everything right,

before dawn puts an end to this magic night?

Your house is the last stop on our journeys,

and I sincerely hope we can avoid attorneys.”

With mouths wide open as if to catch flies,

Mom and Dad gaze at the sleigh, the skies.

The sight of the red-suited smiling Clauses

leaves their eyes wide and apparently causes

an attack of whim-whams. They can’t speak.

Dad softly peeps, Mom squeaks a small squeak.

Santa says, “I’ll assume the answer is yes.”

Then he and Bob, in three minutes or less,

Vaporize all the popcorn, clean up the mud,

magically transform the toad snot and crud

into gifts that are sure to please everyone

and ensure Christmas morning is nonstop fun.

O
ut in the front yard, each girl gets a hug

from each of the Clauses. Cute as a bug-

each girl, that is. Well, each Claus too.

Bob says, “I left a big brown cow for you,

prettily gift-wrapped, by one of the trees.”

Then Santa wants to turn Bob over his knee.

Bob says, “Giving a cow-that’s not mean.

Remember, with milk we can make ice cream!”

Santa gives his brother a very stern look,

and Bob decides to operate more by the book.

“Okay, so I’ll change the cow into a guppy.

Better yet, make
it
a small black puppy.”

T
hen into the big sleigh each Claus bounds.

Mom and Dad are still making curious sounds:

gasps of surprise and squeaks and peeps.

What is the particular problem that keeps

grown-ups from accepting that magic is real,

that it’s okay to believe in what
you feel?

Into the night, eight reindeer take flight.

The big soaring sleigh is a wondrous sight.

Then Santa and Bob call out from on high:

“Yo, Lottie! Yo, Emmy! Goodbye, goodbye!

Believing in magic, you saved Christmas Day.

Keep believing in us after we’ve gone away!”