Rock and a Hard Place (20 page)

Karen watched Peter’s pain. She wanted to
hold him in her arms and kiss his forehead like she did when he was
a little boy, but it wasn’t what he wanted.

Peter paced like a caged animal, his jaw set
and eyes wild. He stopped at the side of the monstrous speakers and
pounded them with both fists. A mournful groan roared from him,
startling the many who watched. He braced his head on the speakers
trying to keep control. His arms shook with rage, his body taut as
he restrained himself. Karen saw her little boy for the man he now
was. A young man in love and suffering the cutting pain of a broken
heart. His love for this helpless girl tore at him.

He turned and grabbed the edge of a heavy
equipment table and up-ended it like a toy. Expensive equipment
crashed to the ground. The onlookers exchanged concerned glances.
Peter had never behaved like this. He was the quiet one. The
bandleader they all counted on no matter what.

His father walked out from backstage where
he observed the exchange. “That’s enough, Peter, take a walk,” he
spoke quietly, but with a steel tone. “We have a sold out show
tonight. Pull yourself together.”

Peter glared at his father, his face
tortured and in agony. “You did this,” venom tinged his voice. He
noticed the crowd of spectators who stared at him as the best part
of his life fell apart.

Without a word or a glance to anyone, Peter
walked off the stage and out of the arena.

He pulled his hood up to disappear from the
world, and thrust his hands deep into his pockets as he braced the
cold December air. Not even the collection of fans gathered to
catch an early peek at the Jamieson brothers noticed the brooding
young man walk from the arena.

His emotions strung tight, he didn’t know
what to do. Dammit! Everything about this situation was wrong. So
he wandered the streets, not stopping, not pausing, losing track of
the world around him. He didn’t care about the band, the
pre-concert interviews or the demanding fans. In any other
situation, he would put all these things before personal stuff, but
not today. Libby had needed him and now she was lost in some shit
hole.

He walked on.

Hollow.

Empty.

Then he pictured Libby taken from her home,
or at least her temporary home. They were supposed to be there for
each other. Correction, he was supposed to be there for her. He
needed to pull her out of the terrible life forced upon her. But
there was no place to go. Who would help him? How could he ever
find her?

His throat choked up like a vice. He trudged
on as the late afternoon sun set and winter darkness threw a cold
heavy blanket over his world.

Where was she? Was she okay? A foster home
sounded scary and dangerous. He’d heard about kids being mistreated
in foster homes. Libby was his rock, but she was also a fragile
soul. She’d lost too much. More than anything he wanted to make her
world right. He wanted to steal her away and hide her in their
rolling tin can of a home.

The wind picked up and tiny shards of sleet
whipped at him as he pushed forward against the wind. The sharp
sting of ice hit his face. His emotions deadened, his whole being
numb.

He walked on.

Much later he shook off the haze and
realized he didn’t know the time or where he was. He’d walked so
long, locked in his thoughts. It was dark, the stores were closed
for the night. He peered in a nearby window. It was well after
eight.

Shit. The warm up band would be finished and
Jamieson would take the stage any minute. He stood on the cold
empty sidewalk and battled with himself. He wanted to walk forever
and never go back, but an inner voice stopped him. Dammit! His
sense of responsibility won. He turned back in the direction of the
arena. He must be several miles away. He didn’t have his phone, but
did have his wallet. He picked up the pace and started to jog.
After a few blocks he hailed a cab.

“
Nokia Arena, please.” He
climbed into the warm vehicle. “How long will it take?”

“
Fifteen minutes or more in
this traffic. There’s a big concert tonight,” the cabbie
replied.

“
Yeah, I know.” He reached
back and pulled out his wallet. “Make it as quick as you can.”
Peter slipped several twenty dollar bills through the payment slot.
“Stage door please.”

He leaned his head back against the seat,
staring blankly. His body began to shiver, but not from the
cold.

Twenty minutes later Peter stepped out of
the cab, through the stage door and back stage. The crammed area
held dozens more people than normal, all in a panic. All eyes
turned to Peter.

“
Where the hell have you
been?” His father bellowed. “Do you know what time it is? There are
thousands of fans who paid a lot of money to see Jamieson
tonight.”

“
I’m here now,” Peter
responded dully as he moved through the crowded space, ignoring
all.

A loud chant of “Jamieson, Jamieson,
Jamieson,” echoed from the fans out front.

“
Thank God. You had me
scared to death.” His mother rushed forward and hugged him tightly.
“You’re freezing. Oh honey, where’ve you been?”

He shook off her embrace and walked past the
crew and technicians as they yelled into radios and rushed around
to start the show. He stepped onto the lift that would deliver him
to his grand entrance, the muscles in his shoulders tight
knots.

The music in the arena rose to epic levels
as techies used hand signals to indicate the show was a go and the
countdown started. A fog machine filled the stage in a mysterious
haze as lights and lasers glowed.

“
Are you ready to party?!”
The announcer’s voice boomed over the mammoth speaker system. The
crowd responded in a deafening roar.

“
Geez, Pete, could you cut
it any closer!” Garrett looked ready to blow.

Peter stared through him, unconcerned. He
wanted this night over.

“
You wearing that?” Adam
asked, guitar in hand.

Peter looked down at the sleet soaked
sweatshirt, pulled it over his head and flung it away revealing a
ragged t-shirt. He stared straight ahead seeing nothing, his chest
tight and suffocating. Adam and Garrett exchanged concerned looks;
Peter ignored them. A tech ran up and attached his headset,
securing it quickly without a word. Around them chaos reigned as
the crew launched the show. The lift jerked and rose as spot lights
circled the stage and the announcer spoke.

“
Ladies and gentlemen,
Jamieson is in the building!”

The crowd erupted in screams. The lift
stopped high above the stage. The view was staggering. The spots
illuminated the three young entertainers, as if they were statues
from the heavens.

This was the last place Peter wanted to
be.

He stood lost in thought, not thinking to
start the show. Garrett took over and gave the count. He and Adam
hit the strings of their instruments and the music of Jamieson
filled the air. On autopilot, Peter went through all the motions of
the concert. He channeled his anger and frustration into the
pulsing music. His performance was intense, the light side of him
nowhere to be seen. He sang each song with anger and pain. The
tender ballads became mournful wails of emotion. The high-powered
rock numbers a snarl of passion. His eyes closed as he lived each
word.

It wasn’t their normal upbeat, chatty
concert, but there existed an incredible energy that no audience
had ever witnessed. Peter felt drained with nothing left to give.
The final encore ended, and the trio ran off stage.

“
Way to channel that anger,
Pete,” Garrett smacked him on the back. “We need to piss you off
more often.”

“
Fuck you,” Peter spat,
with a venomous glare. He ripped the headset off and whipped it
across the room. He stormed out the same door he came
in.

Chapter 19

Julie Orman flipped through paperwork in her
office when the secretary popped her head in. “Hey Julie, I’ve got
another call about Libby Sawyer, can you take it?”

“
Sure, send it over. It’s
probably from the state.” Julie still stressed over the way
everything had gone down for Libby. The poor kid couldn’t catch a
break and there was no way for her to help. Her phone buzzed with
the new call.

“
Hello, this is Julie
Orman.”

“
Hi, Miss Orman, I was
hoping you could help me. I’m trying to find a girl who recently
went to your school. Her name is Libby. Libby Sawyer.”

Julie sat back, a bit startled. The voice on
the other end sounded like a teenage boy, certainly not a social
worker from the state.

“
Excuse me, who’s
calling?”

“
I’m a friend of Libby’s.”
The voice tinged with hope. “She and I had a misunderstanding and
then I heard she left town. I’ve been trying everything I can think
of to track her down, but no one will help me.”

Julie warmed to the boy, wondering who he
was, perhaps a friend from Libby’s old school or a cousin?

“
I’m sorry, the school
isn’t allowed to give out student information, particularly in a
situation like hers.”

“
Please, you have to help
me. I’ve talked to people in Milwaukee, at the Department of Family
Services, Child Welfare and the foster system. No one will tell me
anything. I didn’t know where else to call.”

His desperation touched her. He was
obviously distraught and had exhausted all his options.

“
I’d like to help you, I
truly would. Libby was a special student to me, but you seem to
already know as much as I do. The only people they’ll release
information to are her parents or guardians.”

She heard his defeated exhale. “You aren’t
family, are you?” she asked.

“
No,” his weary voice
answered. “I’m her boyfriend.”

Julie sat up and leaned closer to the
phone.

“
What is your name?” she
asked, stunned to learn that Libby truly did have a
boyfriend.

“
Peter. Peter
Jamieson.”

Julie nearly dropped the phone. “Oh
God.”

“
Excuse me?” He asked
politely.

“
Libby told me about you.”
Guilt overwhelmed her. “You wouldn’t happen to be . . .”

“
In a band?
Yeah.”

“
Oh shit.” She dropped her
head forward, while grasping the phone against her ear.

He laughed. “Is that a bad thing?”

“
No, I’m so sorry.” Julie
couldn’t believe this. “Libby told me about you a few times, but I
didn’t believe her. Her situation is . . . unusual. I was convinced
she dreamt you up.”

“
Yeah, we aren’t the most
obvious couple. Listen, I really need to know if she’s okay. Do you
know where her dad is? Did they find him? Is she with
him?”

“
No, they haven’t been able
to locate him. I wish they had, I’m sure he’d be worried sick.
Since you know she’s been put in the system already, I’m not
breaking any rules. But that’s all I know. I’m sure she’s doing
fine. It’s got to be better than where she was at.” Julie hoped she
spoke the truth. “I wish I could help, I really do. I have no
authority to locate her. My hands are tied. There’s just no way I
can to get access to her records.”

A heavy silence weighed between them, his
despair palpable.

“
Listen, sometimes we get
information, or a student comes back. Libby and I had a bit of
connection. It’s possible she might contact me some time. If she
does, I can have her get a hold of you. Or if I hear any news, I
can let you know.” She hoped this would at least lessen his
pain.

“
That would be awesome.
Thank you. You don’t know how great that is to hear.”

“
Well, it’s a long shot, I
may never hear from her.”

“
But you might, and it’s
the best news I’ve heard in weeks.” He gave her his cell number and
their manager’s office number too. “We’re on our European tour, so
I might not get your call. But leave a message, it’ll catch up to
me. Miss Orman, I can’t thank you enough.”

His spirits seemed much improved and that
cheered her as well. At least one other person out there supported
Libby.

“
No problem, I’m happy to
do anything I can to help her.”

The school bell rang ending the class
period.

“
I’ve got go, but Peter,
thanks for calling and good luck on your tour.”

“
Thanks.”

Julie gently placed the phone back in the
cradle and walked into the main office. “You aren’t going to
believe this,” she said to the secretary.

# # #

The sound check dragged on. Peter sat on a
stool mid-stage waiting as the engineers made adjustments. Each
minute felt like an hour. He glanced up and noticed Adam and
Garrett gesturing back and forth. When they noticed him watching,
both froze.

“
What?” Peter asked
irritated.

“
Nothing,” Garrett
said.

“
We have something to show
you,” Adam confessed. “But we don’t want to upset you.”

“
What are you talking
about?” he asked.

“
You’ve been about to rip
our heads off the past week,” Adam answered.

“
Yeah, well. Sorry,” Peter
said, not meaning it. “Can we do it later?”

“
No, we can’t,” Garrett
stated, impatient. He spoke into his mic, “Hey Brian, play that
video now, will ya?”