Read Rock Bottom: Dark Moments In Music Babylon Online
Authors: Pamela Des Barres
Rock Bottom: Dark Moments In Music Babylon (11 page)
BOOK: Rock Bottom: Dark Moments In Music Babylon
2.66Mb size Format: txt, pdf, ePub
ads
There was another short group stint with Brown Towel, but it wasn’t until Chris Novoselic listened to the Fecal Matter tape that Kurt had given him almost a year earlier that the two started playing together. But it was short-lived because Chris and Shelli took off for Arizona to look for work.
Wendy shook off her tough-love training long enough to pay rent for a dilapidated dump on East Second Street that Kurt shared with a tank full of turtles. He started going to Olympia, checking out bands, and listened to the progressive Evergreen College radio station, KAOS, which had its own record label, K, distributing bands like Young Marble Giants and Vaseline. Kurt was so impressed that he got a tattoo of the K logo on his left forearm.
Chris Novoselic was back from Arizona and, after a couple of false starts, he and Kurt put a band together with drummer Aaron Burckhard, playing shows as Skid Row, Ted Ed Fred, Windowframe, and Bliss before deciding on Nirvana. Years later, when Kurt was asked what the name meant to him, he replied, “Total peace after death.”
Kurt was driven, and the other two musicians had a difficult time matching
his enthusiasm—especially Aaron, who preferred the mainstream to Kurt’s “punk shit.” But Kurt’s zeal yanked them along, and their first gig—a house party in Raymond—confused all the guests when they refused to play cover songs. Slowly they started picking up real gigs, and in April 1987 played a live radio show on Evergreen’s KAOS, which became their first demo.
his enthusiasm—especially Aaron, who preferred the mainstream to Kurt’s “punk shit.” But Kurt’s zeal yanked them along, and their first gig—a house party in Raymond—confused all the guests when they refused to play cover songs. Slowly they started picking up real gigs, and in April 1987 played a live radio show on Evergreen’s KAOS, which became their first demo.
Evicted from his turtle-filled dump, Kurt moved into Tracy Marander’s studio apartment in Olympia, escaping Aberdeen once and for all. Tracy was Kurt’s first real girlfriend, and they enjoyed thrift-store shopping together, filling their tiny apartment with a strange mixture of sixties kitsch and Kurt’s art collages—tortured dolls, ruined religious artifacts, pictures of diseased vaginas from medical texts, dead insects. He played with Nirvana almost every night and cleaned dentists’ offices by day, lifting enough nitrous oxide to pay for Nirvana’s next recording session. But mostly he slept on the job and was fired after eight months. He hated working, being around what he called “average people.” “They just get on my nerves so bad,” he said. “I just cannot ignore them at all. I have to comfort them and tell them that I hate their guts.”
During this time in his life, Kurt experienced his first bout of stomach pain, so severe that it almost disabled him. He started taking more drugs to dull the agony and even did heroin a few times. “You can feel it throbbing like you have a heart in your stomach,” he said. “It just hurt really bad.” The condition would torment Kurt for the rest of his life, confounding an endless stream of specialists.
The Nirvana demo was recorded in six hours and cost Kurt $152.44. He did all his vocals in one take and was very pleased with himself. Jack Endino engineered and was so touched by the raw power of Kurt’s voice that he handed the tape over to Jonathan Poneman of the new underground Sub Pop label, who played it for his partner, Bruce Pavitt. They offered Nirvana five hours in the studio, where the band recorded four songs for the upcoming
Sub Pop 200
sampler. They were also asked to contribute to a compilation EP for the C/Z label. Nirvana’s “Mexican Seafood” was included on the
Teriyaki Asthma
EP, and because they weren’t sure how to spell Kurt’s name, decided on “Kurdt,” which he glommed on to for a short time.
Sub Pop 200
sampler. They were also asked to contribute to a compilation EP for the C/Z label. Nirvana’s “Mexican Seafood” was included on the
Teriyaki Asthma
EP, and because they weren’t sure how to spell Kurt’s name, decided on “Kurdt,” which he glommed on to for a short time.
Aaron Burckhard was fired after an embarrassed Chris had to pick him up at the local jail, where he had called a black cop “a fucking nigger.” When he was “too hung over” to come to the next rehearsal, Kurt let Aaron go. He was replaced with Chad Channing, who played his first Nirvana show in May 1988 at Seattle’s Vogue club. This was when the “Seattle sound” was really brewing. Soundgarden had just gotten a major deal at A&M, Mudhoney was doing local gigs, and Mother Love Bone was starting up. In June Nirvana recorded a single, “Love Buzz,” for Sub Pop, and Kurt handwrote the bio, which closed with: “Willing to compromise on material (some of this shit is pretty old). Tour any time forever. Hopefully the music will speak for itself.”
The Sub Pop catalog claimed that Nirvana’s single was “Heavy pop sludge,” but only printed a thousand copies, which sold out instantly. When Kurt heard himself on the radio for the first time, he was thrilled but didn’t expect more than playing clubs—and maybe even paying his rent.
The Sub Pop catalog claimed that Nirvana’s single was “Heavy pop sludge,” but only printed a thousand copies, which sold out instantly. When Kurt heard himself on the radio for the first time, he was thrilled but didn’t expect more than playing clubs—and maybe even paying his rent.
Nirvana ended 1989 with intensive rehearsals for their Sub Pop album,
Bleach
, recording the basic tracks in five hours on Christmas Eve. Kurt either hastily scribbled lyrics on the way to the studio or during the sessions, later saying that he hadn’t put much thought into the words. But songs like “Negative Creep” and “Scoff” are pretty telling.
Bleach
was completed by the end of January at a cost of $606.17, paid for by fan and friend Jason Everman, who joined Nirvana just in time for a two-week tour of the West Coast.
Bleach
, recording the basic tracks in five hours on Christmas Eve. Kurt either hastily scribbled lyrics on the way to the studio or during the sessions, later saying that he hadn’t put much thought into the words. But songs like “Negative Creep” and “Scoff” are pretty telling.
Bleach
was completed by the end of January at a cost of $606.17, paid for by fan and friend Jason Everman, who joined Nirvana just in time for a two-week tour of the West Coast.
Once again Kurt wrote Nirvana’s bio beginning: “Greetings, Nirvana is a three piece spawned from the bowels of a redneck loser town called Aberdeen,” after listing Nirvana’s musical influences, including such widely different groups as the Knack, Black Flag, Led Zeppelin, the Stooges and the Bay City Rollers. Influences also included “H. R. Puffnstuf [sic], … divorces, drugs, … the Beatles, … Slayer, Leadbelly, [and] Iggy.” Kurt proudly proclaimed that the underground music scene had become stagnant. Nirvana didn’t want to rock the scene, Kurt explained kiddingly “We want to cash in and suck butt up to the bigwigs in hopes that we too can get high and fuck wax figures hot babes, who will be required to have a certified AIDS test two weeks prior to the day of handing out backstage passes.” Someday soon, Kurt said, the band would “need chick spray repellent” and “do encores of ‘Gloria’ and ‘Louie Louie’ at benfit [
sic
] concerts with all our celebrity friends.”
sic
] concerts with all our celebrity friends.”
In one of his first interviews, Kurt said that Nirvana had a “gloomy, vengeful element based on hatred,” adding “I’d like to live off the band. I can’t handle work.”
When
Bleach
came out in June, Nirvana didn’t think it sounded “heavy” enough, but were still happy to slog around America on a very low-budget promo tour. Playing the sleaze circuit, the band rarely made over a hundred bucks a night and often had to sleep in the van, but spirits were buoyant. Audiences were eating them up. And the record was selling. In Chicago Kurt dragged a huge yard-sale crucifix onstage. Excitement was so high in Pittsburgh that Kurt smashed his favorite guitar. It really pissed Jason off. That’s when Kurt and Chris realized that he wasn’t right for the band. Canceling the final seven shows, Nirvana drove home in silence, and Jason was fired when they got to Seattle. He never got his $606.17 back.
Bleach
came out in June, Nirvana didn’t think it sounded “heavy” enough, but were still happy to slog around America on a very low-budget promo tour. Playing the sleaze circuit, the band rarely made over a hundred bucks a night and often had to sleep in the van, but spirits were buoyant. Audiences were eating them up. And the record was selling. In Chicago Kurt dragged a huge yard-sale crucifix onstage. Excitement was so high in Pittsburgh that Kurt smashed his favorite guitar. It really pissed Jason off. That’s when Kurt and Chris realized that he wasn’t right for the band. Canceling the final seven shows, Nirvana drove home in silence, and Jason was fired when they got to Seattle. He never got his $606.17 back.
A “three piece” again, Nirvana drew ecstatic crowds in Seattle, then went on a two-week Midwestern tour, but it started out badly. Kurt was sick. He was rushed to the hospital after collapsing in Minneapolis, but the doctors could do nothing for his horrendous stomach pain.
Right after recording the
Blew
EP, Nirvana headed for Europe with the
band TAD, playing thirty-six shows in forty-two days. Though the tour was difficult due to Chris’s escalating drinking, Nirvana’s falling-apart equipment, and the shocking workload, Kurt was amazed to discover that Nirvana were getting raves in the rock press and had masses of devoted fans. All the shows were sold out, and the pressures enormous. By the time they got to Rome, Kurt was frazzled and exhausted, totaling his guitar five songs into the show and climbing onto the speaker stacks and threatening to jump. “He had a nervous breakdown onstage,” said Sub Pop’s Bruce Pavitt, who attempted to coax him backstage. Kurt then crawled through the rafters, bellowing at the audience, and when he finally made his way down, he told the band he was quitting, then collapsed in tears. The next day on a train to Switzerland, Kurt was robbed. He got so sick, the show had to be canceled. At the final date in England, Nirvana was left with just one guitar, which Kurt threw at Chris, who splintered it with his bass.
Blew
EP, Nirvana headed for Europe with the
band TAD, playing thirty-six shows in forty-two days. Though the tour was difficult due to Chris’s escalating drinking, Nirvana’s falling-apart equipment, and the shocking workload, Kurt was amazed to discover that Nirvana were getting raves in the rock press and had masses of devoted fans. All the shows were sold out, and the pressures enormous. By the time they got to Rome, Kurt was frazzled and exhausted, totaling his guitar five songs into the show and climbing onto the speaker stacks and threatening to jump. “He had a nervous breakdown onstage,” said Sub Pop’s Bruce Pavitt, who attempted to coax him backstage. Kurt then crawled through the rafters, bellowing at the audience, and when he finally made his way down, he told the band he was quitting, then collapsed in tears. The next day on a train to Switzerland, Kurt was robbed. He got so sick, the show had to be canceled. At the final date in England, Nirvana was left with just one guitar, which Kurt threw at Chris, who splintered it with his bass.
On the tour of America that followed, Nirvana had a decent road crew for the first time, and all went fairly smoothly. Members of one of Kurt’s favorite bands, Sonic Youth, brought Gary Gersh, their A&R man from Geffen Records, to the gig in New York, but Chris thought the show was so bad, he shaved his head as penance. In Massachusetts Kurt called his girlfriend, Tracy, on her birthday and told her they shouldn’t live together anymore. Happy birthday to you.
Bleach
was a consistent seller, but due to mismanagement, Sub Pop was floundering and nearly bankrupt. With a guilty heart, Kurt decided to look for a major label. But Kurt’s fear of confrontation forced Chris to do the dirty work, so Chris told Bruce Pavitt the band was leaving Sub Pop, taking their seven newly recorded songs with them. Then they fired Chad Channing. Kurt would later say that he and Chad never really got along, but Chad insists it was his decision to leave the band. “I never felt like I was totally in the band. I felt like I was just a drummer. I was thinking, Why don’t they get a drum machine—get it over with?” For their final Sub Pop single, “Sliver,” Mudhoney’s Dan Peters played the drums and did one gig with Nirvana at Seattle’s Motor Sports International and Garage. Scream’s drummer, Dave Grohl, was in the audience that night and was impressed enough to call the Melvins’ Buzz Osborne to get ahold of Chris Novoselic. Chris liked Dave’s drumming and invited him to Seattle for an audition, where he was picked up at the airport by Chris and Kurt. When Dave politely offered Kurt an apple, he replied, “No thanks, it’ll make my teeth bleed.”
was a consistent seller, but due to mismanagement, Sub Pop was floundering and nearly bankrupt. With a guilty heart, Kurt decided to look for a major label. But Kurt’s fear of confrontation forced Chris to do the dirty work, so Chris told Bruce Pavitt the band was leaving Sub Pop, taking their seven newly recorded songs with them. Then they fired Chad Channing. Kurt would later say that he and Chad never really got along, but Chad insists it was his decision to leave the band. “I never felt like I was totally in the band. I felt like I was just a drummer. I was thinking, Why don’t they get a drum machine—get it over with?” For their final Sub Pop single, “Sliver,” Mudhoney’s Dan Peters played the drums and did one gig with Nirvana at Seattle’s Motor Sports International and Garage. Scream’s drummer, Dave Grohl, was in the audience that night and was impressed enough to call the Melvins’ Buzz Osborne to get ahold of Chris Novoselic. Chris liked Dave’s drumming and invited him to Seattle for an audition, where he was picked up at the airport by Chris and Kurt. When Dave politely offered Kurt an apple, he replied, “No thanks, it’ll make my teeth bleed.”
Chris said he knew they had found the right drummer two minutes into Dave’s audition, and Nirvana was complete. Dave’s first gig with the band sold out in one day, and then Nirvana headed for Europe, playing to a thousand screaming people every night, snagging consistent raves. Back in America record labels were champing at the bit to get at the band from Aberdeen,
Washington. Sonic Youth’s management company, Gold Mountain, offered assistance, flying Nirvana to L.A. to meet with Danny Goldberg and John Silva, who set up several meetings with record company bigwigs. About one of the encounters Nirvana had with an uptight Capitol exec, Kurt said, “I just wanted to dance on top of his desk with a dress on and piss all over the place.” When one label offered a million dollars for the band, Kurt mischievously suggested they take the money and then break up, just like the Sex Pistols’
Great Rock ’n’ Roll Swindle
, but after being wined, dined, and serviced beyond their most ludicrous dreams, Nirvana decided on Geffen, even though their offer was considerably lower. Geffen had broken Sonic Youth, after all, and Gary Gersh seemed to actually
understand
Nirvana. Geffen paid off Sub Pop, giving them two points on Nirvana’s next two records, which pulled them out of the red and put them back on the map. Kurt excitedly told people that Nirvana were going to have complete creative control over their album. While the band waited for their advance money, Gold Mountain gave them a thousand dollars a month, and they continued to scrape by, pawning their amps and eating corn dogs.
Washington. Sonic Youth’s management company, Gold Mountain, offered assistance, flying Nirvana to L.A. to meet with Danny Goldberg and John Silva, who set up several meetings with record company bigwigs. About one of the encounters Nirvana had with an uptight Capitol exec, Kurt said, “I just wanted to dance on top of his desk with a dress on and piss all over the place.” When one label offered a million dollars for the band, Kurt mischievously suggested they take the money and then break up, just like the Sex Pistols’
Great Rock ’n’ Roll Swindle
, but after being wined, dined, and serviced beyond their most ludicrous dreams, Nirvana decided on Geffen, even though their offer was considerably lower. Geffen had broken Sonic Youth, after all, and Gary Gersh seemed to actually
understand
Nirvana. Geffen paid off Sub Pop, giving them two points on Nirvana’s next two records, which pulled them out of the red and put them back on the map. Kurt excitedly told people that Nirvana were going to have complete creative control over their album. While the band waited for their advance money, Gold Mountain gave them a thousand dollars a month, and they continued to scrape by, pawning their amps and eating corn dogs.
By November 1990 Kurt was spending quite a bit of his meager cash on heroin, and Chris and Dave finally realized the extent of his problem. At first Kurt had indulged once a week, but it was slowly escalating. Heroin seemed to calm his tortured stomach as well as help him sleep. “While I was asleep, my stomach wouldn’t hurt,” Kurt explained. “Then I’d wake up and curse myself that I was still alive.” He often wore pajama tops, just in case a snooze might creep up on him. “I’ve felt like most of my conversation has been exhausted, there’s not much I can look forward to. Everyday simple pleasures that people might have in having conversations or talking about inane things I just find really boring, so I’d rather just be asleep.”
The day Nirvana hit Los Angeles to begin recording, they checked into their fancy Oakwood Apartment (which they soon trashed) and went on the Universal Studios tour. Geffen had suggested several hot producers, but Nirvana had already asked their former producer, Butch Vig, to do the honors. Eventually they got their way, and in May 1991 Nirvana started work on
Nevermind
with a budget one thousand times higher than the cost of
Bleach.
Nevermind
with a budget one thousand times higher than the cost of
Bleach.
That same fateful month Kurt ran into Courtney Love at a Butthole Surfers gig at the Hollywood Palladium, where they revealed their mutual attraction by slugging each other and wrestling on the floor. “It was a mating ritual for dysfunctional people,” Courtney later claimed. Kurt thought Courtney looked like Sid Vicious’s girlfriend, Nancy Spungen, and he was smitten. Courtney already had a crush on Kurt, and he still had the trinket-filled heart-shaped box she had given to Dave Grohl for him a few months earlier.
Courtney, a fearless reform-school dropout, had been on the scene for years, appearing in B movies, strip-dancing all over the world, and singing
with various bands before forming her own band, Hole. Their first album,
Pretty on the Inside,
had just been completed—a dauntless, driving, self-incriminating, ballsy hunk of music.
with various bands before forming her own band, Hole. Their first album,
Pretty on the Inside,
had just been completed—a dauntless, driving, self-incriminating, ballsy hunk of music.
Kurt seemed to know that hanging out with Courtney could be a serious matter, and after a few phone calls he decided to concentrate on his record. The basic tracks for
Nevermind
were done in a few days because Kurt refused to do second takes. He fiddled with the melodies and lyrics until the last minute—“Pay to Play” turned into “Stay Away.” The anthem “Smells Like Teen Spirit” almost got tossed because the band thought it sounded too much like the Pixies. When he didn’t like the way “Lithium” was sounding, Kurt screamed and thrashed while the tape rolled, totaling his left-handed guitar, which ended the session for the day. Butch Vig discovered that Kurt sang so brutally hard that his voice was shredded after only one or two vocals. Kurt hung onto a little bottle of codeine cough syrup, sipping continuously, hoping to preserve his voice along with getting high. Since he didn’t know any dealers in L.A., Kurt got stoned on the syrup and a whole lot of Jack Daniel’s.
Nevermind
were done in a few days because Kurt refused to do second takes. He fiddled with the melodies and lyrics until the last minute—“Pay to Play” turned into “Stay Away.” The anthem “Smells Like Teen Spirit” almost got tossed because the band thought it sounded too much like the Pixies. When he didn’t like the way “Lithium” was sounding, Kurt screamed and thrashed while the tape rolled, totaling his left-handed guitar, which ended the session for the day. Butch Vig discovered that Kurt sang so brutally hard that his voice was shredded after only one or two vocals. Kurt hung onto a little bottle of codeine cough syrup, sipping continuously, hoping to preserve his voice along with getting high. Since he didn’t know any dealers in L.A., Kurt got stoned on the syrup and a whole lot of Jack Daniel’s.
BOOK: Rock Bottom: Dark Moments In Music Babylon
2.66Mb size Format: txt, pdf, ePub
ads
Other books
Delirious by Suzannah Daniels
The Last Days of Dogtown by Anita Diamant
The Bug: Complete Season One by Barry J. Hutchison
Accelerated Passion by Lily Harlem
Reprisal by Christa Lynn
Caught (The Runners) by Logan Rutherford
The Lawman's Christmas Wish by Linda Goodnight
Slow Kill by Michael McGarrity
Daughters of Rebecca by Iris Gower