Rock Bottom (8 page)

Fuck…
Gage
was in too deep and he knew it.

Then he
thought about her bright smile, the way her eyes lit up when she spoke of the
latest book she had read, and the way she would try and hide the tears that
welled in her eyes whenever she watched romantic movies or how cute she was
when she wore his old t-shirts to bed. 

He found
himself missing her, though it hadn’t been long since they had last been
together.  He wanted to hear her beautiful, timid laughter that always
managed to snare his heart, forcing him to roar with laughter, right along with
her.

And try as he
might, he couldn’t pull his thoughts from turning tender as he thought of the
gentle, quiet moments of the past. The times she needed him most and he was
there to wrap his arms around her and protect her from the harsh reality that
waited on her doorstep.

Ever since
they had broken up, it was all about the pleasures of the flesh and it didn’t
matter what her name was, where she came from or where she wanted to go. 
There was no commitment, and anyone who came into his life knew that there was
also no reason to expect anything more than that one night together. He never
thought of himself as a womanizer, after all, he was upfront about what he
wanted, expected and could give to them. There were no games, no manipulations,
and no reason to mislead.

And then she
showed up in his dressing room, wanting to interview him for this shit job that
she had been forced into taking and he couldn’t stop thinking about her ever
since.

Damn
her…why couldn’t she have just stayed away?

He tried to
push down the sudden anger that welled in his chest like a tornado of heat that
threatened to consume him when his handler appeared, gripping his shoulder and
guiding him into a backroom for an interview with some local music station.

Over two hours
later, he was finally done signing autographs on t-shirts handed to him by fans
being sent through like an assembly line. Now he moved to the room where drinks
and food had been arranged for the select few lucky enough to get a personal
moment with the rocker and his band. Gage still caught no sight of Kate and had
to quell the urge to ask about whether any of the stage crew had seen her.

Had she left
without saying goodbye? Her job was certainly done now the concert had ended
and the tour was officially over.

Gage gritted
his teeth and brushed off the hand of some blonde groupie who’d come up to
stand beside him. “Leave.”

With a frown
she skulked away, in search of another band member.

Fuck this!
He’d just closed one of his biggest gigs, what did it matter about one ex who’d
never really cared about him? He’d be a fool to want anything more than what
they’d shared in the last few weeks. By tonight he’d be on his jet to his
chosen pleasure spot where he’d meet up with his entourage of fellow rockers
and celeb pals for a week of parties and then on to his next big gig. Gage had
never needed anything or anyone else for a long time and it was best, Gage
warned himself, not to start now.

This time
when he felt someone place a hand on his arm to get his attention, he turned
with a snarl only to realize that it was Kate and his face immediately softened.

Her beautiful
pale skin was flushed with excitement and she was smiling. His heart eased as he
looked into her face, relief washing over him.

“You enjoy
the concert?”

A deliciously
pretty blush spread over her cheeks. “It was awesome!” Kate replied with a
bright smile. “I wanted to watch this last performance from the audience and I
was really glad I did. Standing so close to the stage…to you. It made the music
feel more…I don’t know, alive?… It was just so intense.”

“Glad you
enjoyed it,” Gage murmured, handing her a glass of champagne from the passing
server, before snagging one for himself and downing it in one gulp.

What he
wouldn’t do for some hard whiskey right now – what he wouldn’t do for a
room to whisk Kate into so he could peel her out of those sinfully tight jeans
and sexy boots before ripping off her top so he could taste her exquisitely bare
skin.

He could tell
she was nervous beneath his unwavering gaze on her body, and she hid her nose
in her glass before saying with a teasing tone, “I must admit, you’re quite
sexy up on that stage.”

“Is that
right?” he chuckled, snaking his eyes over her once again. She had the sexiest
curves, just begging to be devoured by his hungry passion. “Well, then we make
a good pair, don’t we…because you’re incredibly sexy yourself.”

Kate’s eyes
sobered as she gazed up into his face. “You’re amazing, Gage,” she said softly,
suddenly very serious and it caught him off guard. “You’ve always been amazing.
I just never had the faith in you that I should have had. I didn’t have faith
in myself either back then. I just wanted to make sure that you knew how sorry
I am.”

Gage’s brows
creased in dismay. “Why do I have a feeling that you’re saying goodbye to me?”

Kate
shrugged, looking around at the gathering of media, the gig promoters, band
members and the small crowd of groupies. When she turned back to him, her face
was guarded. “It’s not like we both didn’t know the score. It’s clear that
there’s only one way this could go.”

Gage paused,
frustration swelling in his chest. “I see. And that would be…?”

She merely
smiled and shook her head before downing her champagne. When she lowered the
glass from her lips, he could see she was gripping the stem so hard her
knuckles whitened. Gage stared at her piercingly and caught the wild fluttering
in her throat, the breath snagging in her chest as their eyes held. She made to
turn and walk off but he grasped her elbow, making her face him again.

“Kate…” he
began, before a heavy hand fell on his shoulder and he turned to see his
bassist Jeremy looking quizzically at him.

“Gage, we
need you for a few. We’ve got stuff to round up with the promoters and they
want you to make an appearance at the after party. It’s completely sold out and
they’ll deal with a lot of heat if you’re not there.”

“I’ll talk to
you later,” Kate said lightly, moving away from Gage before he could stop her.
Gage felt Jeremy’s hand close tighter on his shoulder and he pulled away from
him angrily.

“Come on,
man… You’ve been on that tail for the whole tour,” Jeremy groaned in
exasperation. “We’ve got a ton of press to do, and we can’t do it without you.”

“You’re going
to have to,” Gage replied with a growl, his eyes trained on Kate making for the
open doorway of the crowded room.

“You’ve lost
your mind, man,” Jeremy said wryly, his gaze flitting to the redhead that was
pushing her way through the crowd. “The way you are around her. She really
means something to you, doesn’t she?”

Gage turned
to Jeremy for a brief moment, his fiery eyes glowing with annoyance. “Yeah…she
does,” he replied, patting him on the shoulder with a thud. “Take care of it,
Jeremy. I’ve got something that I need to do.”

“And what is
that?” Jeremy growled, but Gage was already gone.

* * *

Kate barely
made it out of the door before she felt Gage’s fingers around her wrist.

She tried to
jerk away, her eyes pleading as she spun round. “Please. Don’t.”

It wasn’t
clear just what she was fighting, but there was too much of an ache in her
chest right then to feel much else and she knew exactly what she’d lost all
those years ago. Not because he was now famous, but because of what she knew
lay in the depths of his soul, a part of him that he kept hidden from everyone
else, but when he held her close, she could feel it in his breath, and his
heartbeat as it pounded wildly against hers.

She’d thrown
it all away once before and now she dare not ask for another chance.

He was
staring down into her eyes, his gaze hypnotic and terrifyingly deep. She wasn’t
sure what he must have read in her face because suddenly he was grinning
roguishly. “Come with me.”

Kate let out
a confused sigh and didn’t try to stop him from leading her down one hallway
and then another before pushing through a back entrance that brought them out
into the cool evening air.

The fresh
breeze washed across Kate’s face and she gasped, stumbling over her feet, almost
crashing to the ground but Gage caught her and brought her into his arms. He
carefully led her through the parking lot to the back of the building, where
the tour bus waited in the near darkness.

“Gage…no…I
can’t,” Kate breathed, tugging on his arm. Whatever it was he wanted, she just
couldn’t give him. Not this time. Not when her heart was breaking.

He spun
around and grabbed her face, staring deeply into her wide eyes. “Kate…you’re
not the only one that’s sorry,” he confessed, his voice gruff and strained.

“Sorry? What
could you possibly be sorry about?” Kate sighed, eyes downcast. “I was the one
who left. I was the one too foolish to see what it was that I really needed. I
was selfish, Gage. I wanted my own picture-perfect life and I treated you like
you were nothing. You didn’t deserve that.”

“You’re
right, I didn’t,” Gage told her, his thumb smudging the teardrops that spilled
down her cheeks. “But neither did you. I should have fought for you, for us. I
should have made you see…made you stay. A woman needs a man ready to fight to
keep her by his side. I was so hurt… angry. And yet deep inside I understood why
you did what you did and why you never looked back.”

Kate flinched
at the words that cut like a knife, and hearing him take any blame in her
selfishness made her heart feel heavy. “But I did,” she said softly, drawing in
a deep breath and forcing herself to tell him the truth that had burned in her
heart for so long.  A truth that still hurt so bad that she’d pushed it
way back into her subconscious, unwilling to acknowledge the pain…

Seeing the
confusion sprawled across his face forced her to reluctantly continue, “A week
after we broke up, I came looking for you. But you’d left.”

Gage frowned,
realization dawning on his face. “We were kicked out.”

Kate shrugged
wearily. “So I called up your sister because I couldn’t reach you. She told me
you’d…you’d moved on. That you and Cary had gotten back together.”

She saw
Gage’s jaw unhinge in surprise, and it was all she could do not to break apart.

“Cary?”

Cary was
Gage’s ex-girlfriend from before the time that he and Kate had met. His first
love, they had been together from the time they were teens in high school until
Gage had dropped out of college to pursue his career in music.

Gage had
admitted to Kate back then that the breakup had been
his
fault because
he’d wanted to focus on his art and couldn’t find time for Cary. But then he
met Kate and all of that was a distant, forgotten memory. Kate became his muse,
his passion and every time he played, he told her that the thought of her took
him to a place where music met magic. Kate had realized too late after leaving
him what he meant to her - and when she rushed back a week later to seek him
out, it was to find that he was back with his ex.

“Look, I
never blamed you for getting back together with Cary,” Kate added dully when
the silence stretched on. “I know that when I walked away, you warned me that it
would be over for good. I know that I pushed you into her arms and I certainly
couldn’t blame your sister for sounding so smug on the phone when she told me
you were happier now that you were with Cary again. That Cary had always
understood the real you.”

“You think I
rebounded with Cary?” Gage barked, his hold tightening on her shoulders and
making her wince. “Man, you really don’t think much of me, do you?”

“It doesn’t
matter, Gage,” Kate blurted out. “I shouldn’t have thought you’d be waiting
around for me to come back. And besides, you and Cary go back a long way…”

“So where is
she now?” Gage asked, his voice dangerously low, his scowl darkening. Kate was
shaking her head mutely, confused by his anger.

“If she means
so much to me than why isn’t she the one that I’m chasing after like a fucking idiot
while everyone thinks I’ve lost my god damned mind?”

“Gage, please
stop,” Kate breathed, her gaze locked onto the tortured look in his eyes.

“If you mean
stop wanting you, then no, Kate, I won’t,” he told her gruffly, making her
heart lurch. “Because I have no fucking idea how to.”

His lips
caught hers with a fire that ignited her core and she opened her mouth to his
hungry tongue and allowed him entry. His hands molded over her trembling body as
he ravaged her lips till they were bruised and swollen.

Delirious
with his desire for her, he rubbed the tip of his nose against her cheek, his
breath ragged and hot against her blazing skin, only to return his mouth to
hers in a fiery kiss.

Her hands
slipped around his neck, her spine bending back beneath the force of his passion.
His arms were like steel bands around her waist and without breaking pace, he
lifted her off the ground and up the steps into the tour bus.

His lips were
trailing down her throat, his hands squeezing into her hips as he backed her
down into the nearby couch. In an instant he was straddling her thighs,
trapping her in place as his hands moved beneath her t-shirt to seize her
breasts in their satin cups. Kate let out a gasp, flinging her head back as she
closed her eyes to savor the thrill of his touch. He was sucking on her neck,
groaning deep in his throat and whispering how much he needed her. How he was
never going to have enough of her. His words made her whimper in helpless
arousal, her nipples turning to stiff nubs between his stroking fingers.

Deep in her
swollen core, she shook with the realization that she needed this as much as he
did.