Rock Chick 07 Regret (28 page)

Apparently unable to control myself, I pressed into him and kissed him back.

This was one of his urgent, fiery kisses. The ones that tore through me, taking all reason and rational thought with it and leaving me with nothing but the heat and the desire to lose myself completely in the kiss and in
him
.

Right when it was getting good and, later, when I thought about it, when I knew that he knew that he had me right where he wanted me, his mouth broke from mine. He lifted his head barely an inch but he kept me locked to him.

His eyes were as fiery as the kiss and back to intense and they scanned my face quickly before he said, “Now that
my
Sadie is back, I’ll tell
her
that I’ll be at the gallery to pick her up and take her to the hospital to have the cast removed. I don’t give a fuck if
Bex
is there,
mamita
, you aren’t fuckin’ goin’ without me and I won’t be pleased if you make me look for you. I’ll also tell you that tonight, we’re goin’ out to dinner, just the two of us. We’re gonna enjoy the goddamned meal and after we’re gonna have another talk. If I’m not at the gallery to pick you up at closing then I’ll be here at the house at seven.”

I was breathing heavily and trying to sort out my thoughts when he continued.

“You do somethin’ stupid, Sadie, Buddy, Ralphie and I’ll have a conversation and we might have to rethink your situation and you may not like what we come up with. But I’m tellin’ you this, I’m keepin’ you safe and you agreed to let me take care of you and that’s what I’m fuckin’ gonna do whether you like it or not.”

Then without another word he let me go.

I teetered a bit without his arms around me and his body to lean into and before I got myself sorted, he’d walked around me without looking back.

When I turned and stared into the living room doorway, he was nowhere to be seen.

After a couple of seconds, I heard Ralphie ask from the kitchen, “Is she okay?”

“She will be,” was Hector’s very firm and also very annoyed answer.

I closed my eyes.

This was not going well for me.

Not at all.

* * * * *

I stared at my exposed wrist and felt a weird sense of calmness settle in me.

My wrist looked kind of strange but the cast was
gone
.

I only thought about the cut on my face when I saw myself in a mirror or noticed someone’s gaze on it. I could forget it, sometimes lately for hours.

But for the last five weeks, the cast was a second-by-second reminder of what Ricky Balducci did to me.

And now it was gone.

I pulled in a deep breath as I let the calm settle. One more step toward healing. One more step toward the time when I might go whole days or even weeks without remembering.

“Sadie, girl,”
Bex
called and I looked up at her and I couldn’t help it, I smiled.

Bex
and I were alone in an exam room. They’d taken the cast off then a physical therapist had shown me some exercises to strengthen my wrist. He gave me a
squeezy
ball and some leaflets filled with instructions and diagrams. He left and the nurse had gone off to get the paperwork for me to sign and then we could go.

Hector was there but outside the room talking on his cell.

As Hector told me, he showed up at Art at ten to two (double-parking again) just in time to take me to the hospital. In preparation (because I figured Hector would do as he said and I was not wrong), I called
Bex
and asked her to meet us there.

On the way over, I’d given Hector a blast of The Ice but he acted like I was “His Sadie” (whoever the heck
that
was) and not a wintry cold bitch, thus he totally ignored The Ice.

This, I had to admit, both irritated me and kind of scared me but I’d started practicing The Ice Treatment when I was eleven. Eighteen years and I’d perfected the art of The Ice Treatment. I knew if I stuck with it, I could and would deep freeze Hector.

Eventually.

I mentally shook my thoughts clear and said to
Bex
, “Yes?”

Her eyes moved to the door and back to me. “What’s going on with Hector?” she asked. “You two seeing each other?”

Even though I wanted to explain it to her, I didn’t.

Firstly, she might not get it. Secondly, she might feel like giving me a lecture and I could
not
deal with another lecture right now. Hector had delivered the powder room
and
hallway lectures and after I came down from getting ready both Buddy
and
Ralphie had lectured me in a gay roommate tag-team talking to and I had to say I was up to
there
with well meaning lectures. Lastly, I was feeling a calm I hadn’t felt in a long time and I didn’t want anything to shatter that.

So I responded, “Kind of.”

“You been intimate?” she asked.

By the way,
Bex
was a pretty straightforward woman, she could be softly-softly but most of the time she cut to the chase.

I pulled my lips in, feeling the calm slip away and then replied, “Just making out a couple of times.”

It was her turn to smile. “That’s good.”

She didn’t know the half of it.

She watched my face and her smile got bigger.

“It’s not going anywhere,” I said quickly before she got the wrong idea and, at my words, her smile disappeared.

“Why not?” she asked.

I shrugged and my eyes slid away.

She pulled her chair closer but she didn’t touch me. Still, her getting closer made my gaze come back to her.

Her face was gentle. “Sadie, you know, what Ricky Balducci did to you was not an act of intimacy. It was an act of violence.”

I inhaled sharply through my nose but nodded fervently in the hopes she’d think I understood and she’d move off this particular subject.

My hopes were quickly dashed.

“What you do with someone who cares about you is an entirely different thing. It’s a good thing, giving and, hopefully, getting.” She gave me a small grin.

I nodded again and squirmed a little bit. I did not want to be talking about this. Ever.

My Mom had disappeared way before it was time to have The Sex Talk and my father never bothered. I’d had a couple of lovers, one in college, one after, both of whom I liked as much as I would allow myself to like anyone. Also, both of whom my father frowned upon and sent packing.

I knew what sex was, I’d even had good sex.

I knew what Ricky did to me wasn’t
that
.

Bex
, unfortunately, did not have clairvoyant powers so she couldn’t read my mind and therefore she kept talking.

“It’s going to be difficult, you can get it confused but try to remember that letting someone close to you like that, letting them show you why it’s good, having that togetherness, it’s part of healing.”

“Okay,” I responded immediately.

She scooted even closer and I got the impression she wasn’t buying into what Tex would call my “bullshit”.

She kept at it. “I’m not saying you should go faster than you’re ready. I’m just saying your mind can shut down to that part of life and it’s important not to shut it off, twist it so you’re convinced it’s wrong or dirty. It’s important to remember it’s right, it’s natural and it can be very, very good.”

I blinked and my gaze slid away. Then I sighed and set aside the bullshit.

“Okay,” I whispered.

Bex
wasn’t quite done.

“If you’ve got worries, talk to him. I think Hector’s the kind of guy who’ll listen and wait until the time is right for you. But keep him in the loop and let him know where your head is at.”

There was no way I was going to keep Hector in
that
loop (or
any
loop, for that matter).

I didn’t tell
Bex
that.

Instead, I said again, “Okay.”

“You need to talk to me, you know where to find me,” she finished.

I nodded then looked at her and in an effort to change the subject, I informed her, “We’re going to watch YoYo for you.”

She gave me a gentle smile that I understood with a gratitude so strong I felt like hugging her (however, I did not) meant she was finally letting me off the hook.

“I know,” she said.

Luckily the door opened, the nurse walked in and the latest trauma in a life full of traumas was thankfully over.

And I’d survived, yet again.

* * * * *

After I signed the paperwork,
Bex
went back to the rape crisis center and Hector took me to Art.

During the ride I didn’t speak. Hector didn’t either. I found this uncomfortable. Hector acted like this was perfectly normal. This made me want to throw my
squeezy
ball at him.

Of course, I did not.

Hector parallel parked in a very unusual prime spot a door down from Art.

Before he had the Bronco’s ignition shut down, my door was open, I was out, around the front of the Bronco and hoofing it on my
Manolos
down the sidewalk toward the gallery.

I was feet away from the door when an arm tagged me around my shoulders, I came to a rocking halt and he turned me into him.

My body went rigid and I lifted my chin to grant him with a patented Chill Factor Sub-Zero glare.

“I have to get to work,” I informed him.

“You’re welcome,” he said in return, looking down at me unaffected by Chill Factor Sub-Zero, his fantastic mouth fighting a grin.

Seriously a
squeezy
ball throwing moment if there ever was one, however, I was not at a distance which would allow for it and further, an action such as that would not befit The Ice Princess.

“For what?” I asked instead of throwing my
squeezy
ball at him.

“For the ride,” he replied.

Chill Factor Sub-Zero descended sharply to Chill Factor Dry Ice. “I suppose I shouldn’t have to remind you that I didn’t
ask
for a ride.”

He lost the fight and grinned casually in the face of Chill Factor Dry Ice.

“True enough,” he said calmly.

I waited for more but, apparently, that was it.

“Are we through here?” I asked, cocking my head and deciding to shift into saccharin-sweetness.

His face dipped to mine. “Not even close,” he whispered and his black eyes went warm and started dancing like he was enjoying this (enjoying this!).

Blooming heck!

I was using all my good stuff on him! And none of it was working!

All right, fine. He was going to challenge the Ice Princess then that was
just fine
.

Beware Hector Chavez! The next Ice Age cometh, as Ralphie would say,
a la Sadie
.

I zapped him with a mental ice ray and pulled out of his arm, turned, opened the door and walked into Art.

I was confronted with Ralphie entertaining a full bevy of Rock Chicks
sans
Shirleen and a new person I’d never met before. He was a middle-aged man, tall, built solid (but with a teensy beer belly), dark hair with some gray in it and Indy Nightingale’s blue eyes.

Everyone was drinking coffee.

“What’s going on?” I asked, walking toward the counter.

“Tex sent over coffees to celebrate your cast being removed,” Daisy told me on a grin. “Yours is probably cold though. We been here awhile.”

“I’ll nuke it,” Ralphie said, snatching a white cup off the counter.

“I’ll do it,” Ava offered, Ralphie handed her the cup with a grateful smile, she took it and headed to the back of the gallery where our little kitchenette was.