Rock Me Deep (22 page)

Lola

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T
he instant Drezden left, I was out of the bed. Sitting there nude was too much for me. The shock on Brenda's face when she'd spotted me left me cold with guilt.
I shouldn't feel bad. I didn't do anything wrong
. My confidence was shaken beyond any rationalizing.

The clothes from last night felt itchy and out of place as I slid them on. They smelled entirely like Drezden Halifax. Everything about me did.

Running my fingers down my stomach, I glimpsed myself in the mirror across the room.
I look the same. I just don't feel the same.
Frankly, it baffled me that I didn't feel
more
different than I did.

It was a new day, but I wasn't a new person.

Outside, a single raised voice pricked my ears. Brenda was shouting without bothering to stifle herself. Whatever she was saying was too garbled to discern. I didn't need to hear the details.

Pulling my phone from my pocket, I stared at the missed calls and text messages. My battery was over halfway drained, the time flashing at me, warning me how late in the morning it was.
No wonder she's so pissed. We should have been on the road an hour ago.
Scrolling through my voicemail showed Brenda had called me eleven times.

My brother had texted me just once: 'We need to talk.'

That message tightened my throat.
He knows what Drezden and I did.
Imagining how obvious we'd been at the club, how we'd danced—how we'd kissed—in front of so many people...
If I thought no one would find out, I'm a moron.
A part of me had suspected, maybe even hoped, the world would recognize the pull between the singer and myself.

Faced with the reality in my head-throbbing state was different.

There really is no way to turn the clock back.

Drezden couldn't hide what had happened, either. The lack of options was... freeing. In the world of facts, there was comfort.

The sound of the door opening made me spin around. He entered, seeking me out like a lion on the hunt. Green irises rolled over me, intangible, yet still lifting goosebumps. “Is everything alright?” I croaked, wishing for some water. “Brenda sounded really pissed.”

Drezden pounced. The blankets tangled around me, far less constraining than his fingers in my hair. He tasted stale when we kissed, I didn't care about that... he was intoxicating any time of the day.

But I did care about what my manager had been upset about.

My limbs felt far away as I nudged them onto his shoulders. I succeeded in forcing his lips off of mine. “Drez, what did she say to you?” The breathy way I spoke wasn't intimidating. He indulged me, sitting back and straddling my hips. I was glad I'd dressed. It would have been astronomical to deny him anything with only skin between us.

“Take a guess,” he said. There was a strange smile dancing on the corner of his mouth. I ached to kiss it away, but resisted.

“She's angry about us not being ready and on the tour bus by now. That,” I sighed, “Or about how I'm in your bed right now.”

His fingers crawled down, playing with the top button of his jeans. Just seeing that had my heart jumping, wishing he wouldn't go further while praying otherwise. “Try both.”

Both. Of course it's both.
Shimmying up the mattress, I balanced my hands on his thighs. My goal was to detach, to scramble and hurry so we could get downstairs and appease Brenda. I didn't want her mad, I didn't want anyone mad, I didn't want—

Firm hands closed over mine, pressing them like flowers meant to dry in a book. Drezden stopped my struggle. In an instant, he made me freeze where I was and stare up at him.
What's that expression he's wearing?
His forehead was scrunched, but his mouth was relaxed. Drez's tone didn't match those tempting lips one bit. “You're upset about this, aren't you?” he asked.

It was such an obvious observation. I had to bite back the laugh of disbelief. “You may be used to Brenda getting mad at you, but I'm not. I don't think I really want to
get
used to it, either.”

The tips of his thumbs crept up to caress my earlobes. He waited until I hissed outward; only then did he speak again. “Tell me why this is bothering you, Lola.”

“I—what?”
Isn't it clear?

The turmoil growing in his unfairly handsome face told me it wasn't. “Are you regretting what we did? Regretting last night?”

Last night.
Just the words turned my face hot. A thickness overtook my throat, everything numb but my ears under his touch. The power Drezden was so eager to use over me. I didn't care, not right then. What he'd said...
Now I understand what his expression means.

Drezden thought that
I
thought what we'd done was a mistake.

I couldn't move my arms. With Drezden so near, I didn't need to. The tension in his face melted when I bent forward, closing the gap and kissing him fiercely.

I didn't regret last night.

I
couldn't
regret it.

If I even considered it a mistake, in any capacity, I'd fall too far into brutal shame. My right forearm throbbed at the thought, the tattoo of a castle writhing in my mind.

“Lola,” he gasped, releasing me only to trap me again as he gripped my cheeks. The heat in his eyes boiled over. On the edge of the world, I waited to hear what he would say. My heart tangled with my tongue, abandoning me to breathless silence. “I told Brenda we'd be down in five minutes.”

It took me a second to devour the words and make sense of them. I was laughing before I knew it.
Of all the things to say in this moment.
Wiping the corner of my eye, my smile stretched wider. “Think she'd mind waiting fifteen?”

“Of course she will.” He scratched a nail down my long neck, a path to my collar bone. “She'll hate twenty even more.”

My body remembered everything he'd done to me last night. It had done a wonderful job burying the one incident marring the event. When I arched into him, hands trailing down his back, it was the hem of his shirt that reminded me.

That scar. His scar that he hid from me while we were having sex.
I'd spotted it without his knowledge while he slept. Confusion raked at my heart; Drez's teeth on my jaw smoothed it all away. His talent in singing warred with his skill in melting my brain.

Beneath us, the springs squealed with his weight on me. Drezden had teased me last night, spoiled me by taking his time. Now, he yanked free the shirt I'd put on only minutes ago. It left my hair tangled, worsened what sleep had done to my brunette strands.

I was battling with the side of me that wanted to just
forget
. Why did I care so much about that stupid scar? Drezden was promising me with his deft fingers, his warm lips, that he could take me away from my paranoid worry. If I just let him break down the shards of concern that warned me he was hiding himself, I could liquefy under his muscles and thrumming chest.

A single hand, reaching between us to stroke the outside of my jeans, won the fight.

I stopped holding on to that one worry.

Metallic teeth vibrated apart, Drez tugging my pants down my thighs. He didn't remove them all the way, just enough to reveal my panties between us. The front of his denim was unyielding with his swelling hard-on. Crushing against me, he ground his hips in gentle waves. If the fabric of my underwear hadn't been ruined last night, it was now.

Circling my arms around his shoulders, I kissed his neck, muted my gasp. I'd craved him after our dance in the club. I thought I couldn't have wanted him more than that.
But then I actually had him. It's worse, knowing what waits.
It was like tasting air, learning to breathe for the first time.

His hand guided to my lower back, forced me to curve my chest against him. With his free fingers, he unbuttoned himself, slipped his pants out of the way. Though it was the texture of his soft briefs and not the roughness of jeans, Drez's erection wasn't gentle.

“Shit,” he grunted, hoarse with his need. “We have a problem.”

Heat stung my cheeks; he'd stopped moving, but my own hips were bucking against the shape of his cock. The fact there was only thin fabric between us was driving me mad. “What, what's wrong?”
Is it the time, has it already been twenty minutes somehow?

Drezden paused, caught up as he stared down at me. His inhale was a whistle, and I thrilled knowing I was making him lose control. “Fucking fuck,” he said, clenching his jaw. “We used up the only condom I had.”

A metallic taste flooded my mouth; disappointment.
How many does he go through if that was his last?
It was a stark reminder of how different our lives were. I didn't carry condoms on me, I'd never thought about needing them on the tour. My expectation of the journey had been hard work and potential opportunities.
All of which have come true, to varying degrees.

Scrunching his forehead, Drezden dug his palm into my spine. The motion coaxed me to rub my damp panties on his swollen member, both of us moaning in response. “This is damn awful.” Laughing as hollow as a drum, Drez shook his head. “How terrible is it that I don't want to stop?” Seemingly goaded on by my whimper, he rocked against me firmly.

Sparks went off in my brain. The pressure inside of me, just from his sliding against the outside of my covered slit, was maddening. “I—then don't.”
Don't stop,
I thought selfishly. I knew I was giving him permission to do something dangerous. If I'd made bad choices before in my life, this one trumped them all.

The very last thing I needed was to end up pregnant.

Encouraged by how I was helplessly rubbing against him, legs trembling, Drezden bent low and stole a kiss. The discussion was over; perhaps there was no reason to have one. If he had been giving me an out, I'd missed it.
Was he going to just fuck me anyway?
I wondered in a daze.

Teeth cut against my earlobe. “You really want this, don't you?” he whispered.

All I could manage was a tiny squeak.

His chuckle was sinful, driving my senses higher. Easily, he hooked his fingers into the top of my underwear. The air was cool against my melting pussy.

I couldn't see anything but Drez's temple, his hair tickling my nose. He must have pushed his briefs out of the way, for the smooth, decadent weight of his cock bounced against my belly. “Tell me you want me to fuck you,” he taunted, speaking against my throat.

Holy shit.
My heart swelled, matching his shaft's reaction. “I want—”

“Say my name when you beg me.” Rolling his thighs, he bumped my twitching clit.

Digging my nails into his hips, I tried to force him into me. I was distantly aware of him stiffening at where I touched, but I'd let myself forget why that could even be. “Drezden, just fuck me! Please!”

Groaning long and low, the singer shoved himself inside. There was a hint of soreness in me; I hadn't recovered since he'd stolen my virginity last night. But like then, whatever sharp pain existed was muted by my slippery bundle of desperation. Drezden
owned
my senses.

And, hell, I wanted him to.

Drez held me steady while he pounded into my convulsing pussy. It was lightning,
I
was lightning. The orgasm struck me so fast I didn't know what it was at first. I thought I was having a stroke, my eyes rolling, my bones as stiff as his cock inside of me. "Nngh—that—fuck, I'm coming!"

"Go for it, baby doll," he groaned, shivering over me.

I'd never finished as fast as that, not on my own, not otherwise. Whining with the overwhelming pleasure, I cried out harder as Drez abruptly pulled free. My muscles grabbed for him, tried to trap him inside, but he was too strong. In the fog of my mind, I didn't grasp why he'd abandoned me.

Hot, sticky seed spilled on my navel. Drezden growled during his release. I caught a glimpse of his cock, angry and red, his fist holding it tight over my skin. Fear and delirious excitement flooded my acutely-aware body.

He almost came inside of me.
Too many thoughts slammed into my skull, sobering me by the end.
I shouldn't have let that happen, fuck. Did I want him that bad, that I'd risk that?

I knew the answer.

Sitting up, Drez looked me in the eye. There was no glimmer of fear there. “You're thinking that was stupid, aren't you?”

Biting my lip, I gave a steady nod. “It
was
stupid, Drezden.”

Considering me seriously, I watched his half-smile return. “I guess it was. You're just—never mind.”

I'm just what?
I wished he'd finished his thought.

Standing, he brought me some tissues from the small side table. “I'll make sure not to be caught without protection next time."

A syrup of pure adrenaline settled into my veins.
Next time.

I loved the sound of that.

****

W
e'd struggled—or perhaps it was just me—for two days. I'd pushed back on every single craving Drezden caused. I'd worked so
fucking
hard to not buckle at his voice, his smell, or his touch.

Now, I couldn't keep my hands off of him.

In the elevator, we kissed with furious passion around our pile of luggage. If I thought I was addicted, Drezden was truly obsessed. Even when I was gathering my items from my room, he'd been unable to stop touching me.

His mouth moved down to my shoulder. In the mirrors, I saw my snowy neck was red and purple. This man, this impossible man, he wanted to mark me from head to toe.

But I want that. I want him to brand me.

The knowledge of my desire rippled down to my pussy. The world would see me and know I belonged to Drezden Halifax.
Yes. I think I'm pretty damn okay with that.

We stumbled out of the elevator, the air in the lobby fresh, bursting with the promise of a wonderful day. Standing in the white light, Brenda looked like a glowing phantasm. Her features were bound tight as a sausage in its casing.