Rock Me Deep (32 page)

My tongue danced with his. His hips crushed on mine, making the firm shape of his engorged cock plain as day. The heat of it seared my lower belly. "Fuck," I whispered. I couldn't keep myself from bucking up against him.

Drezden played his long fingers under me. My spine led the way until he had the globes of my ass in his grip, kneading me, shaping me. I'd lost control already, but the carnal hunger in me became all I knew.

I rocked hard against him, tried to pull him towards me with my dripping pussy. The wetness down my thighs was audible, every movement of Drezden's stiff cock increasing the volume. Still, he didn't give in, didn't slide aside my panties or his briefs, nothing.

Couldn't he tell how much I needed him? Didn't he understand my desperation?

When I reached down, trying to yank his underwear off, he just chuckled. “In a rush?”

“You keep doing this,” I said, working at the cloth. “Teasing me, making me crazy! Isn't it hard to hold back? Is it just me that feels so—so unhinged?”

My arms were crushed over my head. I couldn't recover before he bent low, kissing me until my mouth was numb. Everything that helped me make sense of my existence fled. I lost gravity, floating until Drezden let me go.

His green eyes simmered inches from me. “Of course it isn't just you. I fight every minute of every day to keep myself from ripping your panties down to your ankles so I can sink my dick inside of you.” I gasped sharply; he'd rubbed his raging erection between my thighs. “I work so hard to control what I do to you, Lola.” His voice dropped, a rock that vanished in the sea. “I take my time because anything less... and I'd lose myself. I wouldn't be able to stop.”

That honesty should have terrified me.

Hooking my legs around his lower back, I pulled him closer. “Do it,” I whispered, nipping his lip before he could lean away. What did he see in my eyes? I could only imagine. “Fucking lose yourself, let go with me.”

I saw his teeth in the dark. The next sound was my shout of surprise; he'd torn my panties off in a rush. “You're bold.” He cut off any words I had left with a throttling kiss. I dragged in air as he pulled away. “You get under my skin so good. No,” he said, winding his hand in my hair. “
Deeper
than that. You get
inside
of me.”

I wanted to touch him, to run my hands over his shirt, under it, mauling his skin. I almost begged him. The words were on my tongue.

The thick head of his dick, rubbing along my puffy lower lips, shut me up. He had himself in his fist, saturating the smooth tip of his cock with my wetness.
No condom,
I thought in distant panic
.
In one motion, he filled me to the brim.

Biting his shoulder, I knew it wasn't enough to muffle me. Everyone on that tour bus was going to hear me scream. Drezden didn't care... and it made my heart turn as liquid as my pussy.

He was stuffing me deep, thrusting like he could go further each stroke. Groaning in the back of my throat revealed how decadent such a normal sensation could feel. Drezden made every action sexual.

Gasping, I tried to meet his pounding cock. He was primal, seeking to find what
he
wanted. The pressure built in me, hovering on the cusp of exploding. His shaft buried inside of me almost violently.

I was barely fitting his cock inside of me. I thought it should hurt. Instead, I felt a tingle of excitement. We were bound together at the root; twisting, sweating, uncaring.

My mouth numbed as my cells in my lower belly took control. All of my energy was being directed at my twitching clit. "I'm coming! I'm..." It was all I managed to say. He kissed me as I came, holding me while I trembled.

In my ear, his grunt was strained. In my slippery, delicious delirium, I realized he was fighting the urge to come inside of me. The way he wrenched himself out of my flexing pussy left me hollow. Warm, sticky seed spilled over my belly. Drezden gulped for air.

His head hung low, sweat beading on his brow. He reminded me of a great tree after a rain storm. He was strong, but some things could bend him.

Me,
I realized in surprise.
I can make him bend.
I pushed the hair from his slick forehead. “I know how it feels," I said softly. "Getting under your skin, I mean.” His look of surprise made me kiss his warm cheek.

Right then, things felt so perfect. Just the two of us, sitting together in our salt and silence, enjoying just being alive. It gave me hope that things were finally smoothing into place.

What a world, if everything could always feel so perfect.

If only.

****

T
he rain was sharp, it cut through my sweater and into my bones. My soaked jeans made every step I took harder. Honestly, I didn't need them to be any harder than they already were.

Three days had passed since we'd left the city of Aspen in Colorado. We'd played every night for different faces, the screams blurring my brain until I recalled nothing but the itch in my fingers and the sweat staining my brow afterward. Each night, after every show, I'd tried to seek out my brother.

And each night he'd been a ghost.

Sean was a master at avoiding me. At the after parties he slipped off to drink or dance or fuck or whatever it was he was doing. I didn't need the details, the writing on the wall was clear.

He wants nothing to do with me.

Too bad for him that I was done being avoided.

Barbed Fire's ratty bus waited in the parking lot. In the rain, it was a hulking elephant close to dying from old age. I didn't knock, didn't take a moment to consider what I was doing. Slowing down increased the risk of backing out.

I knew these doors. I'd shaken them apart so many times. They never locked right, but no one cared. All the gear worth any money was safe in the back of another van. If anyone was going to try and steal something, they wouldn't be coming here.

Not true,
I thought as I climbed the short steps. Lifting my head, I stared across the aisle at the bodies slouched in the ripped seats.
I'm here to steal time from my brother.
We saw each other immediately, his eyes reflecting mine. He looked... worn out. As bad as the bus itself.

Other people were moving, grumbling at the intrusion so early in the morning. Both of us ignored them. I'm unsure if we even blinked. “Come outside with me,” I said flatly.

“It's pouring out there.” Shoving the blanket off of his naked chest, Sean grabbed for a wrinkled shirt. It muffled his voice when he tugged it over his face. “You want us both to get sick?”

“Come outside,”
I said again.

Beside me, a giant lump shifted. Shark squinted at us both, clearing his throat roughly. Like we hadn't gotten his meaning, he did it again. “It's fuckin' early as shit, you guys. Go somewhere else to talk. My head's about to crack, fuck.”

“Go back to bed, Shark.” Sean tried to smooth his hair, but it wouldn't obey.

Droplets of rain water, cool on my burning skin, drifted down my neck. “Just come on,” I said. Turning in the seat, my brother began digging around on the floor. He had the balls to not even look at me? That pushed me to the edge. “Stop ignoring me! This is why I had to come here in the first—”

“I'm not ignoring you.” With an umbrella in hand, Sean stumbled towards me down the aisle. “I'm just making sure neither of us drowns out there.”

Thrown off by his sudden compliance, I followed him out into the storm. The parking lot was flooded, puddles forcing us to walk in awkward patterns. He held the umbrella over both our heads, the nearness reminding me of when we'd walk home together from school as kids.

My mind was already in a strange spot. Nostalgia was doing its best to ruin my courage. When Sean spoke, I visibly jumped. “Lola, why are we out here?”

Lifting my eyes, I watched the edge of the umbrella. Rain fell to its death in rivulets. “I needed to corner you. You've been avoiding me ever since... ever since Drez and I...” My cheeks burned so hot I expected to see steam.

“That's not it.” He halted in front of the quiet road, the surface shiny from the street lights. I felt him looking at me, but I kept watching the edge of the canopy. “I wasn't avoiding you because you slept with him. I don't care about any of that.”

Burying my hands in my pockets, I searched for warmth and found none. “Is it because we haven't been talking as much? I promised to tell you all sorts of things, and then I stopped, I know, but...”

“No. Lola, you don't get it.” The edge of the umbrella wavered; rain tumbled in a cascade into the street, melting away. “It's not about any one thing. It's all of it together. It's what it means for
me
.”

That threw me off. “What does it mean for you?”
What is he...

“It means you don't need me anymore.”

My eyes were frozen on his, searching the depths of his sapphire-blues to better understand the hurt, the defeat, simmering there. “Of course I need you! Sean, you're my brother. I'm always going to need you.”

I despised how sad his smile was. “I guess I just wanted to be the one you always came to for help... for whatever. I don't know. After everything I've done—well.” He broke the stare, gazing off at the nothingness of the thunderclouds. “I'm just being selfish. You made it to the top. I wanted to see you get there, but I also wanted to be there with you. I guess I wasn't ready for your success.”

Was it possible for my heart to crumble? I grabbed his wrist where it brushed the umbrella handle. “What are you talking about? You're the one who...”
Who I always looked up to. Who is—was—at the top.
All at once, I understood the wall between my brother and I.

His eyes glistened. Sean knew what I'd just grasped. “Yeah," he said. "You're where I always dreamed I'd be. Headlining a tour like this makes you better than me, Lola. Maybe you always were.”

“No! No, I wasn't. I'm not.” A compliment had never cut so deep. I didn't
want
to be better than Sean. He'd taught me everything and he'd worked so hard. He was the one who should be in my shoes. “Stop acting like your dream is over.”

He adjusted his grip on the umbrella, crushing it. I felt it under my fingers. “You don't get it. There's no way to climb past this.”

"'This.' What does 'this' mean?" Eyeing the tension in his jaw, I listened to the rain drumming around us. “There has to be a way for Barbed Fire to go further.”
Life can't be unfair like that.
“It's all you ever wanted, right? How can you even imagine giving up?”

His frown was soft on the edges. “If I knew of a way to succeed, would you help me?”

I stood straighter with a rush of excitement. I wanted to cling to the tiny speck of hope in his question. “Of course! You know I'll help you anyway I can, Sean.”

There was a storm in his eyes, it was far greater than the one that roared around us. The words that left his mouth clawed away the last of my warmth. “I want you to leave Four and a Half Headstones.”

My tongue stuck inside my mouth. “W—what?”

Sean curled his palm around my fingers on the handle, trapping me under his pleading stare. “Quit the band and come join Barbed Fire. You can be our second guitarist, do rhythm! I'm an idiot for never suggesting it before. I know you always wanted to join.”

My heart was going wild, it had never felt so big and so small all at once. “Wait, Sean...”

“Lola. Please.” His grip tightened on me; I struggled to decide if he was begging me or intimidating me. I didn't like either option. “If you do this, we can both make it big. We'll destroy every stage! Sell out shows! We'll be on top, the both of us.”

Both of us.
“I can't just abandon Drez and the others.”

“Relax. They'll find someone to replace you," he said, laughing like I was some delusional child.

My muscles screamed as I ripped my hand away from his. I stumbled backwards into the rain, the cold droplets clearing my head. “They're my friends.” Drezden's scent tickled my brain. “And... more than that.”

Lifting his chin, Sean held the umbrella steady. “You're actually picking them over me. Over my dream that you act like you care so much about.”

“I do care! But you can't expect me to shove them aside like this!”

“What makes them worth more than me?” He was whispering, I was halfway reading his lips. “What makes
him
worth more?”

The pity in my heart bled away. “He isn't making me choose between you two.”

Laughing bitterly, Sean tilted the umbrella at an angle. He didn't react to the water that splashed across his shoulders. “No? Think about it, Lola! That asshole makes you choose every second of the day! Did you forget that you missed my show at Belly Up because of him?”

He was right. He was right, and it hurt more than if he'd just knocked my teeth out. "He didn't mean to make that happen!"
Did he?

Sean spat into the street. “You think a guy like him is worth more than your own damn brother?”

“Stop saying that! Stop acting like it's about any of that!”

“He's an entitled piece of shit!”

I threw my arms down, shouting over the thunder that roared. “You're the one acting entitled! I just wanted us to talk again, for things to be normal! Why are you being this way?”

Rain had drenched us both. It felt like we were the only ones alive in the world right then. Sean mumbled, but I heard him clearly. “Because I care about you. Because I want to protect you.”

“I'm not in any danger, Sean.”

“You really think
he
isn't dangerous?”

My brain was forever spinning. “Drezden wouldn't hurt me.”

Sean's brows ducked low. “Are you sure? He's got a hell of a temper. Do you actually know anything about him?”

“Of course I—”

“Anything
real?
”

Gripping my forehead, I focused through my pulsing temples. “What are you talking about?”

The satisfied smile that crawled across my brother's face left my insides twisting. I didn't know this man. “Do you even know his real name?”